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kenz Oct 2021
Zero.
One.
Two.
Three.
Fast asleep on my porch
in the middle of the day, dreaming my worries away.
Like how my doll broke and I’m still mourning the loss.
In my sandbox that doesn't have sand,
replaced with my most beloved stuffed animals,
I lay there not knowing what’s happening outside my world.
My mom shakes me awake with worry covering her face.
She screams at my father, how could he forget me here?
Four.
More fights.
Five.  
Dad’s never home.
Never has time for me.
Doesn't talk to mom much.
Red flags, brighter than a firetruck, I didn't see at this young age.
Six.
Dad’s moved out.
I have a new sister.
But at least I get a new puppy,
and whatever food and toys I want.
Plus more presents.
Seven.
Another sister.
This one has a different mom.
The fake mom is mean.
She thinks she's my mom but she's not.
“YOU’RE NOT MY MOM!”
I scream and cry until my dad comes back from the store,
wondering what happened while he was away.
He takes my side of course.
I’ve always been daddy's girl and always will be.
Eight.  
Things are changing a lot.
I don’t like it.
Nine.  
Dad got a house with her,
2 new dogs with her.
Of course my puppy gets neglected.
Favorites are picked and now I'm last.
This fake mom’s gone at work all day
while I look after my real sister and my fake one.
I grab my phone that I use only for emergencies,
and call my mom, my real mom.
“Dad’s sleeping…Fake mom’s at work…My sister’s are crying.”
I stubble over my words, not able to get them out due to panic.
“I'm coming. I promise.”
The fake mom hears it and grabs my phone.
“You can't call your mom while she’s at work. And where did you get this?”
‘Hurry mom.’ ‘My real mom.’
I run away, grab my bag,
make sure my real sister is good, and grab her hand.
It's only real if she has the same mom I thought.
My mom gets here thank god.
Ten.
Fights with fake mom,
fights with mom,
fights with me.
I hate dad's house.
I was first, now I’m last.
I feel out of place.
Eleven.
Twelve.
July 6th, 2019.
Less than a month after my birthday,
he left.
Left to live with this woman states away.
A woman that probably doesn't care about him.  
Thirteen.
I don't talk to my dad,
I guess it works out that way.  
Fourteen.
I wanna help, really I do.
(TW)
P!lls, dr!nk!ng, p@rty!ng.
No job, no phone, no contact.
I just sit and listen to my mom trash talk him.
I know he’s awful, but he’s still my dad.
I try to tune her out, keywords hit my eardrums.  
“Lazy.” “Selfish.” Worthless.”
‘But he's still my dad.’
Now.
I wonder what happened to daddy's little girl.
The one that would make him dress up,
or color while sitting on the balcony.
I wonder how it would have been if he stayed.
I have lots of questions to ask but I can’t.
Fear covers my body every time I  try to text or call.
No happy birthday this year because I was too scared to answer.
Christmas coming up and scared to ask for a simple thing:
To be daddy's little girl again.
hehe yea
leo Oct 2015
hey i was wondering if you wanted to hang out this weekend? it's been such a long time since i last saw you and you know, i was thinking, maybe we could talk and stuff again, like we used to? so, i really hope that maybe you could step out to hang out, yeah? but if you can't now, it's totally fine by me! just tell me when you're free, 'kay?
- Sent, 9:35 PM, Tuesday, Aug. 5, 2014

yo you never answered my message! are you okay? are you sick? please, tell me if you can't come any time this month, i don't really mind! please, just talk to me?
- Sent, 12:48 AM, Wednesday, Aug. 27, 2014

did i make you mad?
- Sent, 5:40 AM, Saturday, Oct. 11, 2014

please talk to me
- Sent, 11:11 PM, Monday, Oct. 20, 2014

do you just hate me???? is that it???? at least tell me straight to my face!!!!
- Sent, 6:40 AM, Thursday, Dec. 11, 2014

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE FULL OF ****, YOU CAN'T EVEN BOTHER TO SEE THAT I'M TRYING HERE. I AM TRYING FOR YOU BECAUSE I CARE SO ******* MUCH ABOUT YOU. I WANT TO BE THERE FOR YOU BECAUSE I CARE SO ******* MUCH ABOUT YOU. BUT IF YOU'RE GONNA TREAT ME LIKE THIS, I DON'T THINK I DESERVE THIS!!!!!
- Sent, 9:13 PM, Friday, Dec. 26, 2014

YOU KNOW WHAT???? *******.
- Sent, 9:13 PM, Friday, Dec. 26, 2014

Y UOY  NE EVR  C A R WSD W HJEETHR OR ON T IW AS THEJRFE FOF ROYU ZND **** GO AE HED ADSN ENJYO YOURF CUKIGN  CHR RIST MAS VCNASITON ALOENE
- Sent, 1:45 AM, Saturday, Dec. 27, 2014

L NOER
- Sent, 1:56 AM, Saturday, Dec. 27, 2014

i just saw your mom at the grocery store a while ago. and what she said surprised and upset me a lot.
- Sent, 11:40 PM, Wednesday, Dec. 31, 2014

why didn't you talk to me?! you know i always said i was there for you... why didn't you talk to me about anything?! i would have stopped you!
- Sent, 11:47 PM, Wednesday, Dec. 31, 2014

i'm so sorry i'm so sorry im so sorry im so sorry im so rty ims oert im so sory ims or t r yim osrr y
- Sent, 11:55 PM, Wednesday, Dec. 31, 2014

i'm so sorry, i wasn't a better friend for you. i'm so sorry. i'm so sorry. forgive me.
- Sent, 12:05 AM, Thursday, Jan. 01, 2015

hey
- Sent, 12:45 AM, Friday, Jan. 23, 2015

happy birthday*
- Sent, 12:45 AM, Friday, Jan. 23, 2015
Johnny Noiπ Nov 2018
Mexico is a great gift. But there. Good services (male / female / people). The founder of the Boston Market has 300 boxes. Many adults make mistakes. In the Philippines (4), prostitutes, many doctors are wrong. In Brazil, France and Brazil it is difficult to reduce the 600-100-1. Brazil 300 300 pure white, new regions of Russia, Morocco, Wilson, Brooklyn, Harlem, George Washington and at least four. 40.82 300 + 8: Mobile, Google solves the problem with Greece, Macedonia, South Africa, South Africa and Sweden. Mexico is the name "William". Mexico, color, 300 years without other black ornaments for horses or card assistants. Russia, Russia, Russia and Russia. "For 600 years Brazil has 600,000 dollars, 600, many teachers and many other things and bloggers," Sugar, Sugar ": Events: 8: 8 however, Ricky 40.82 South Africa with Joseph because he does what is right for China Africa click on Google Toolbar was and will not ruin Julius Caesar's school, it is above all the foundations of Alkcal's alkaline, the way of life of the child. (4) in three years, 82 Peter Kirkland, George Washington in the White House, Nazarene introduced by Tom, has two dogs, Brazil, Brazil, 600 and 600-600 600-600 games, so thank you for your government that 1000 F-Oh-rty-two children 8 + 8 and 8 women 8, 40, 82, South Africa , Northwest Africa, the continent of Africa Good service (male / female / people) Lotus Boston Trading is the latest version of the 300 Sleeves 600-100-1 Brazil 300 300 pure white regions of Russia, Morocco, Wilson, Brooklyn, George Washington and at least four others. 40.82 300 + 8: Mobile, Google solves the problem with Greece, Macedonia, South Africa, Ica Ica, and Sweden. Mexico is the name "William". Mexico's color for 300 years; There are no more black horses or carts. Russia, Russia, Russia and Russia. "There are 600,000 doctors in Brazil, Brazil, Brazil 600, who do not crash it". Stories, Teens 8 8: South Africa: 40.82 Ricky, African Football, Mother, China and Africa, click on Google Toolbar Jumper Alkashams to protect the house or destroy it. Georgia responds with jelly beans and head piercing each girl's skin to study the words of a group as well as the salivation of young men and women. (82) 82 82 (4) in three years, 82 Peter Kirkland and George Washington back in the White House introduced by Nazareth. Tom has two dogs. Today is a good team. The flight chooses this option in California. Good public security services, public offices and other names. 1.1. Brazil, Brazil, 600 and 600 to 600 600-600 games. Thank you for your head? And everything in the world is great. women. there are many problems at home. The sons of forty victims will come. 8 + 8 and 8 women, 8, 40, 82, South Africa, North-West Africa and the African continent. In fact, click on Google. Mexico is a great gift. But there. Good services (male / female / people). Traffic in Boston. Lotus is the latest sleeve version of 300. In many adult mistakes. In the Philippines (4), they commit many doctors who are wrong. In Brazil, France and Brazil it is difficult to reduce the 600-100-1. Brazil 300 300 pure white, new regions of Russia, Morocco, Wilson, Brooklyn, Harlem, George Washington and at least four. 40.82 300 + 8: Mobile, Google solves the problem with Greece, Macedonia, South Africa, South Africa and Sweden. Mexico, whose name is "William". Mexico, color, black kits 300 years, and other helmets of horse trolleys. Russia, Russia, Russia and Russia. "There are 600,000 doctors in Brazil, Brazil, Brazil 600, who do not crash it". Events: 8: 8 However, Ricky 40.82 South Africa is good for the Tully Halls in China and Africa, click on Google Toolbar and delete the school. Glass bottles with nitrogen oxide come from Alkasham.
Mariah Sep 2019
D!rty spoons in the drawer,
Smelly socks on the floor.
Loud noises when I sleep,
Angry looks when I speak.
Quiet house when he goes out,
No response when I shout.
Where he goes he leaves a mess,
And he thinks that he’s the best.
Leaving every light switch on,
And he wakes well past dawn.
Copyright © 2019 Mariah Simpson All Rights Reserved
Charlie Rose Oct 2020
I may be beaten down and mildly insane
Some nights my demons seem nigh inescapable
But never will I call myself broken again
Broken's for prop'rty, I own myself unbreakable

You view my ilk with disdain, call me a lost cause
But our value lies in the things you can not see
How we uphold our community without pause
I am only lost if you believe you own me

People think they can take my dignity away
As though their authority is what holds the key
Even through mockery, social stigma, and pain
My honor, wit, and strength all come from within me
I just used the apostrophes to make some words fit better in a 12 syllable line. Hopefully it's not super confusing.

— The End —