"rockbottom" poems
oh how the coward counts his cards
blackjack entrapment habits
at least there's free drinks!
what a time saver:
enabling 2 addictions at once,
maybe i'll save some money this way...
hit hit hit stay, embrace
hug my hands around the chips
my multicolor relatives
i'm betting on embellishments,
time to double up or split
my hand's as steady as my faith in god
so i'm shaking like an epileptic
seizing with the scenery
blinking with the burning lights
knee-deep in unending debt
i'll go all in on my hesitance
& sleep on this abandoned bench
Feb 10, 2010
Feb 10, 2010 at 5:46 PM UTC
Rocks know a lot more about time than clocks
Drive to the top of a mountain
Cinnamon gum
Noseblood
And rocks a lot older than clocks
Tell the older us we say hello
I am stuck between red rocks and a very hard place
Rockclimbing to rockbottom
I am a time hunter, rock hunter, pigeon hunter
(Let me tell you something about pigeon hunting:
Shooting clay pigeons isn’t as much fun when the pigeons aren’t clay
and their bodies shatter in midair like pomegranates in September
with red jewels sprinkling the sandstones
the sedimentary clouds and the fastfood signs)
Remember that time I tattooed the sky?
I wrote “time is a l.e.d. light” in a sacred heart
between the stars and the freckles and the ladybugs
none of their mothers were thrilled
Now I know time is a rock, a very heavy rock
A rock is a star, a star is a rock
And me? I am a rockstar
But I have all timers. Alzheimer's? No. ALL TIMERS
and a monolith growing on my sternum
Firecrackers. That’s what I wanted to talk about.
And when I say firecracker I mean fireworks
the way fire works his way between me, time and a rock
What is it with rocks?
Rock and roll
Rocked by doubt and rolled by time
Rock my world, please
Mar 23, 2016
Mar 23, 2016 at 11:45 AM UTC
Your nobody to judge me I regret empowering your ignorance. Ive done more then you could imagine. It might not show but your not worth my time. Ive always helped others while you judge them
Im tired of all my down falls and setback I just want to be free of all the burden. Id love but im usually the other guy. Im not a player but know the game. I work for mine tired of thing being taken away of abandoning me.
Ive been on my own since 17 not trying to please anyone I follow rules no one is the exception to me everyone is equal I dont car who you are ir who you know if you have no respect you mean nothing to me
Im not mad just mad everything keeps me out I have to bust my *** work twice as hard to be accepted. My efforts get knock thats what ****** me off or when im finally made it someone else rains on my parade.
I want to argue and yell but my mouth gets me in trouble and the other person is blessed while my efforts go to **** and hit rockbottom
I feel these blocked out emotions resurfacing even though those moments have past. I over think it gets to me or makes me want to make a dramatic change
Feb 1, 2014
Feb 1, 2014 at 3:33 PM UTC
the depths of despair can be as deep .. as the ocean can be blue
but that's not as deep as the despair i feel when i'm lying here, missing you
blood stains on the ceiling .. hypodermic hell
desperate, broken, bleeding .. as i try to remember your smell
thoughts of how we used to be, flash across my mind
with each and every memory, chemicals unwind
but here i am, still breathing, the person that i used to be
and although i know i'm missing you, i cannot set you free
always and forever a place within my heart
you think you know the bitter end, but that's the place to start
(c) p skez and msrigs 22/08/2015
Aug 26, 2015
Aug 26, 2015 at 5:48 AM UTC
i wanted to be okay with everything.
i wanted to be okay with the fact that i outgrew you and how even though i bring myself to tears thinking about Us,
this was for the best.
i want to be okay with the morning sun and the rain,
i wanted to apologize all the times i spent looking at you with tears in my eyes or crying and yelling at you,
for you're here when no one else is
i should love you for that but can't yet.
i've hit rockbottom over and over again,
the fall is starting to hurt less.
i've shook hands with who i used to be,
letting them take over me so many times to the point where if i want to be in control i don't know how.
i don't know who i truly i am and that scares me.
the music made my ears ring and i wanted to disappear again.
i feel like i could fly away at any moment
and now,
i'm not scared if i do.
i swallowed the lump in my throat, hoping to get something out of it.
maybe i would be able to stand back up.
i can't.
Jun 23, 2018
Jun 23, 2018 at 2:44 AM UTC
Believe the lies
That's on you
Follow the majority
Oppose those throwing stones
Spoke the truth stand in front of a firing squad
No trial choice was made death the only option
Not like the rest name mention others protest
Debate on fate that's great
No voice or say but if roles flipped
Everything would be delayed
Hate shows and grows
Not worthy of the hate of the fakes
Get cold reactions
Can't be hurt anymore
Hit rockbottom knock down
Won't stay down on the bottom
Mar 5, 2013
Mar 5, 2013 at 9:07 PM UTC
deephate
lossand anguish
it all mixesinto onelargemess
somewords dont eventouch thisfeeling
myeyes areallout of tears and hanghalfclosed
or is it halfopen to you whofeel
myheart—does itevenbeat
hard totell
youcant know
whati befeeling
howcan you foolsunderstand
youwant tohelp then LEAVEMEALONE
theresnothing youcando
tosave mefromthis
pit
of
des-
pair
ilike theblack
ofthis smallroom
iusedto likepink
iwanted
tobe
apretty princess
andlive inacastle witha
kingso kind
butdreams dont
cometrue
learnthisnow
youfools
dreams
are
like
pa-
per
burningin
theFLAMES
OFHELL
just
like
me
.
.
.
.
do
not
give up
myChild
I still loveyou
myChild
youvegone farther
than
rockbottom
butlisten
to
Me
listen
listenlisten
toMe
.
.
.
.
I
THOUGHT
I GOTRIDOF
YOU
HOWDARE YOU
COMEINTO
THIS
SOULOFMINE
LEAVEHER
ALONE
you are
so
alone
myfriend
cantyousee
noonecares about
you
theylie
when theysay
dothose fools
listentomee
tome
listen
to
me
.
.
.
.
thischaos
inside
icannotcontrol
itatall
iwantto
SCREAMAND
SHOUTbut
icant
i wantto
crybut icant
letgo
of
me
setme
FREE
p
l
e
a
s
e
.
.
.
.
up
uplook
upMy
Child
iamnot faraway
letyourheart
beat
beat
beat
again
takemy hand
myChild
iwill
neverleave
younor forsake
you myChild
istill
love
you
.
.
.
.
is
that
alight
itsbeenso
dark for solong
imnot evensure what
lightlooks like
do i dareto hope
dare tolook
up
up
up
.
.
.
.
YOU
FOOL
thereis nolight
light doesnot exist
ithought youwould have
LEARNEDTHIS BY NOW
theonly waytogo is
down
down
down
.
.
.
.
here
iam
myChild
here i am
take my
hand
please dontlook
down
dontlook
down
i
still
loveyou
myChild
ido
i
do
.
.
.
.
i
cant
lookdown
doi darelook up
amieven worthit
thelight
is
faint
butican
see
it
clear
as day
.
.
.
.
NO
YOUFOOL
you arenot worthy
you cannot hope
donteven try
hope
is
frail
youcant
trust
hope
.
.
.
.
i
surprise
myself
istill
look up
ithink maybe
there is a littlehope
maybethere
is a little
hope
.
.
.
.
yes
myChild
there is hope
still look up and see
the light gets
bigger
warmer
see me here
I still love
you
myChild
I still love you
.
.
.
.
NO YOU FOOL
no you fool
no
you
fool
.
.
.
.
the
light
is warm
the light is
bright
i
like
the light
i like
the
light
.
.
.
.
no
dont leaveme
here alone
listen to me
one last
time
.
.
.
.
LEAVE
MYCHILD ALONE
myChild
you are
safe
here in
the
light
you are safe
here in the light
i still love you.
Oct 12, 2018
Oct 12, 2018 at 11:01 AM UTC
ROCKBOTTOM
a great place to build a foundation.
To remember the struggles
and be better for them.
To stand up and echo I Can
and do your best
inside greatness.
ROCKBOTTOM
a grand place to expand
with foundation to build aspirations high. To fill intentions
with compassion and kindness
and look to stars for guidance.
ROCKBOTTOM
a great place I look back at,
as I move in a skyscraper of dreams. Move with blessings.
Move to make a difference
on this my sacred home.
Oct 9, 2017
Oct 9, 2017 at 1:59 PM UTC
Write me off, that's fine - if I'm honest, your eyes are not why I've bled blue on loose leaf for all these years.
I gave away a rough draft of my life and skipped the polish - yeah, I get that I'll never be published, and to you, my words likely look like incoherent ******* because I'd surely be full on illiterate if it wasn't for spellcheck & this stupid heart of mine.
My goal wasn't to be relatable (it was always for me so I could go back if and when I needed a reason to breathe I'd reread to see how far I've come) and so (I have no grand delusions of "success" or even dreams of recognition) I know I will never be a great writer -
A lonely man's truth has never been a valuable commodity.
I just wanted to let you know that I've seen your poetry & it's simply beautiful in all it's intricate complexities -
and mine is what it's always been (and bare with me now, as I attempt a metaphor) my ol' trusty lifejacket.
It just helps keep me from sinking all the way down to rockbottom.
Thank you all for sharing, I like to think I have a good idea what your words mean to you - and for some of us they might just mean everything.
And for now, I'll leave you with this
Dear Poet,
If you ever feel the urge to give up, just remember that if you do, everything you went through will have been for another man's (or woman's) kindling.
Jun 8, 2019
Jun 8, 2019 at 1:57 PM UTC
Who I am, is not what I want to be,
Who I am, is someone that I can't see,
Who I am, is not who I want to be,
I am caged in self-doubt and spite,
Who I am, is someone I can't see,
Rooted in bad-habits, a rotten tree,
The fruit of my efforts poisonous,
Who I am, is not who I want to be.
Rockbottom, I've gone far below sea,
Drowning in regret, thoughts I circumvent,
Who I am, is someone I can't see,
When will I feel something? I plea,
Tired of feeling tired when I'm tired,
Who I am, is not who I want to be,
Me and self-love can't seem to agree,
And it isn't self-hate, just negligence,
Who I am, is someone I can't see,
This year has been tough on me,
Broke down my armour and stability
I've survived somehow miraculously
Broken and hurt, faced my problems,
Even if I did it a little haphazardly,
But I will change, I will change cause:
Who I am, is not who I want to be,
Who I am, is someone I can't see.
Nov 18, 2019
Nov 18, 2019 at 5:49 PM UTC