I'm free. I don't miss you anymore and I no longer have you in the form of the ache in my chest. It feels so good not to miss you. After ten months of hell, I came out alive. I don't regret the three years of life we shared, but I'm glad that all the agony is over. You don't know how good it feels to finally write about you without crying. You don't know how good it feels not to miss you, how good it feels to go the entire day without thinking about you. I had this constant hope that you would come back and that very hope ended up destroying me, but it's done; it's over. I can finally say your name without wincing. It feels so **** good to finally be free. You were my first love and you helped shape me into the woman I want to become, but it's a relief to have gotten through those dreadful ten months. You may never know the hurt you put me through, but I hope that you never come across such misery. I've decided to write my farewell so it can act as a symbol of ending a chapter I once hoped to never end. I have loved you with such intensity, and perhaps I always will, but I am no longer in love with you. It was not what I wanted at first, but it was what I had to do. I am thankful for the impact you made in my life. You came when I needed you most. I cherish what we had, but it is time to bid you goodbye. I will always wish you nothing but happiness and, as cliche as this sounds, you will always have a special place in my heart. Thank you for the love you gave and thank you for the pain you (unintentionally) caused. I have loved you, Christophe Andrew Brandon Rithmisto, but it's time I don't.
