"ritalin" poems
for all the turbulence i sought
and sought
i was pretty good
i was so good
i battled through all the chaos
my kite was finally flying
but i snorted so much ritalin
my pupils are tar pits
and she calls me a hedonist but
i don't know what that means
i do know that
i fear neither death
nor consequence
you can treat me like your last meal
always at my most decadent
i remember i need to eat
then delete the thought
the only thing that sustains me is the rushing
by now
you should know that
it's all about me
we did the maths remember?
Oct 27, 2018
Oct 27, 2018 at 11:13 PM UTC
We were born into a world of shallow minds and deep disturbances of young millennials mimicking mindless mimes because we were told to stay in line but be yourself but follow me but think "originality."
A generation full of copycatting individuals with monotone mindsets mulling over social ladders and trends dictated by invisible monarchs of industry inviting and spoon feeding insecurities masked as improvements.
A generation spending more time pretending not to care than on passions stifled by our peer pressuring playmates who are all prescribed Vyvanse, Adderall, Ritalin for their incurable imaginations deemed "learning disabilities."
A generation of temporary friendships because no one can connect with each other but we can connect to the internet and chat with strangers and share thoughts, photos, and secrets to a virtual audience that loses interest in an entanglement of wires forming a noose around our sincerity.
Oct 17, 2015
Oct 17, 2015 at 2:38 AM UTC
The answer is i don't know..
Or do i know?
coke
xtc
mdma
tramadol
eph
xanax
cannabis
hasj
speed/amphetamine
2cc
flunitrazepam
codeine
vallium
ritalin
concerta
lsd/acid
bromazepam
lorazepam
2cb
etizolam
4fa
ketamine
2fa/2fma
ghb
mephedrone (meow meow)
methox
And i'm pretty sure my list won't end there.
It's not that i can't stop but i just don't want to feel reality.
Aug 14, 2015
Aug 14, 2015 at 9:53 PM UTC
Silver screen athletes
quitting soccer teams
to join homophobic friends
(redneck quasi outdoors-men)
who just want to **** animals
angst must be vented
lest it boil inside
and form a much darker concoction.
I beat the horse
'till I couldn't get it wrong
even then
the faceless desks of power
endorse eugenics,
pharmaceuticals,
and high profile lawyers
sentencing me to a life's term
teaching Sophocles
to an uninterested fifteen year old
too busy stroking a Ritalin limp ****
to star censored ladies on Vegas stripper cards.
And he said "Watch your language"
when I said "What the ****
Jan 13, 2011
Jan 13, 2011 at 3:10 PM UTC
dissuaded seamstresses seamlessly string
together thoughts throwing out convention
and convection ovens hold the bones of history
hot air blows through them and out
the mouths of bloated politicians red faced
with misplaced values and encouraging
a broken caste systems’ continuation
as classism hides beneath value menus
radically altering the fabric of not only society
but also the genetic code in which we all stem
wilted flower petals stick to flattened tires
wired children snorting Ritalin pick locks
placed by scared parents
frightened by Fox news and Vioxx side effects
stashed cash smashed in mattresses
waits for the next prescription election
Mar 5, 2014
Mar 5, 2014 at 11:49 AM UTC
I am a puppet,
Here are my strings.
This one's for my mouth,
And this one's for my wings.
You can make me fly,
Fly,
O so high, in the sky,
Till I die.
You are in control,
Just the way you like it I'm sure.
Making me do tricks,
Getting all of your sick kicks.
You stand above me,
With your fidgeting fingers.
Making me dance around,
To your favorite singers.
Make me jump,
Make me fly,
Make me happy,
Make me cry,
Make me crazy,
Make me high,
Control where I look,
With my eyes.
I do your biding,
Like it or not.
I'm addicted to your control,
Like some are to ***
I feel like,
It'll be this way till I die.
Yet you drop some scissors,
What are you trying to imply?
But now I found the scissors,
And you know what I'm going to do?
Snip,
Snip,
Cut,
Cut,
And,
TADA.
I'M FREE FROM YOU.
Although,
I didn't really think this through...
Because before I knew,
It I fell to the floor.
Like an overdosed,
Ritalin *****
Lifelessly alone laying,
On the ground.
The only thing I hear,
Is your fake laughing sound.
So there I lay limb over limb,
Not knowing where to go.
Then to my dismay,
You mange to cause me even more woe.
For beside me,
A new puppet takes my place.
And your once gentle hand,
Comes down on me, and I am erased.
Now I think,
I miss your strings.
And all of your,
Cute little things.
I might have been a puppet,
But I loved my master.
Until she got bored,
And caused this disaster.
I loved a disaster,
Which was my master.
But what should I know?
I am just a puppet.
Oct 2, 2011
Oct 2, 2011 at 7:54 PM UTC
the older generation
thinks we're all meth-heads,
ritalin-riddled serial killers,
serious ingesters
of buckets-of-blood thrillers,
they look at me funny
when I sag my pants
look at me funny
when I've got my girl in my arms
and her hands on my zipper
moving slowly
to the biggest dipper, too loud,
they say,
too loud,
too much cursing,
too much blood and gore,
too many games about getting money
and running over grannies to get more;
Ren and Stimpy,
and
Bert and Ernie,
two homos
that need to burn
for their sin,
the world is going
to hell in a handbasket.
Mar 8, 2012
Mar 8, 2012 at 7:40 PM UTC
mouthwatering
anxiety disorder
dishes of psychopathy
Bulimia and ADHD sparkle
reach in a hand
take a few
and a few bottles of ritalin and prozac too
you will love it
Nov 11, 2012
Nov 11, 2012 at 12:53 AM UTC
today i woke up and played animal crossing. i ate ice cream and i binged. i microwaved salt and water, it didn't do anything and i felt stupid calling it a binge. small binges count, shallow cuts count too. it's about how you feel while stuffing your face with three cereal bars at the speed of light or storing sharp objects as a panic button.
I spent the day self-loathing and wishing I had a prettier disorder. one that doesn’t get you called a ***** when you just need someone to tell you what is real and what is not, one that doesn't make crawling out of your bed an impossible challenge. I remember how forgiving people were when everyone suspected I had adhd. I would hurt myself whenever i couldn't focus and they thought that was worth a hug, mania is not even worth a kind word. I remember my ex handing me ritalin, I remember not taking it because I was paranoid about being poisoned. there was “you can do it” written on the box with a smiley face. he had the same grin as he f!cked me and spat on me minutes away. I scratched his back as bad as I could so the other girl would notice and ask him if he was treating me right. he thought it was arousing. it was a cry for help.
now I sit on the edge of the bed I spent the past few days in. it got me missing my old bedroom, the cocoon i lived inside for eight years. i sit here alone and unlovable by the standards of controlling neurotypicals, i still can't focus for the life of me and I've never felt so close yet so far from my dreams.
if i'll have to take a step back from my ambitions once again, then so be it.
my only hope is that death feels like going grocery shopping and exiting the store knowing that you checked all of the boxes of your list, I hope my grandma felt safe as she passed.
if heaven is real I hope my hym3n grows back to convince myself I was never in danger. I hope I can be something other than life's mixed, blonde, green-eyed f!ck doll.
Sep 19, 2024
Sep 19, 2024 at 8:35 AM UTC
I've discovered a new wonder,
one that from now on should become
part of a daily routine that's yet to be
prepared and laid out.
I've discovered the music the keyboard
plays while my Ritalin brain (all are one)
bullets through space and the
imaginary library up there with the floor
shelves. That's where I'll take the ambien
and loose control of what is happening
and slow slow slow
into the stopping stop stop
the train stops.
A whole scene to add every morning
These things are magnificent
and who cares losing a friend or two
over random fits of rage when
when you get to add this
to the morning afternoon night routine.
I Am A God. The only lesson this has taught me
and 3666 words an hour is too good a devilish thing
to pass by. I will continue and spiral.
Then the sleepy haze and the tripping morning
salutes.
Sep 25, 2014
Sep 25, 2014 at 1:06 AM UTC
On this Ritalin,
I am slow
Brains aren't racing
Thoughts don't go
Oh, I'm so productive
Ask anybody; they'd know
But my creative spark suffocates
Under the Ritalin filled glow.
I can't even tell you
how hard it can be
When every word you say
doesn't go past me
I can hear every syllable
Every motion I do see
Then my brain melts at the pressure
Not spouting off wittily
They say I speak normally
The words come out so true
But to me they sound labored
So slow and confused
I have thought into every motion
of my vocal cords abuse
And feel every vibration
to my tingled lips amuse
Some times I'm real happy
no way my spirit'll shake
Some times I'm real sad
It's more than I can take
Sometimes I don't feel anything
That's a feeling I just can't shake
Sometimes I feel everything
And I'm waiting for my head to break
My doctor never gave me Ritalin
As a kid I never did have
But now I'm all grown up
And this time I've a' bottle in hand
I used to let my mind race
Daydream of robot bands
Now I've let these pills run coarse
N' hourglass runs on Ritalin slowed sands
Feb 12, 2014
Feb 12, 2014 at 3:09 PM UTC
attention problems you say?
well it's no wonder
our lives are dominated by screens
that keep appearing like pop-ups
and have you ever lived in a city?
it's hard not to be distracted
by thick framed pointless glasses
and whatever might be bobbing beneath those skirts
and we are the iced coffee frappamochalattechino generation
so it makes sense that we can't sit still
and when all of the information
in the known universe is just a google away
then why would we pay attention in school?
adderall
focalin
ritalin
*******
****
****
speed
what's the difference
it's all about medicating regulation to stop the second guessing
even when it rains we see the pitter patter
of each individual droplet
splashing
on each individual street
from west coast
to the orients
and when people can quote more commercials
than books
then where is the surprise?
let the adhd be
stop telling kids to stop day dreaming
it's the only thing that might save them
from later life mid-life crisis screaming
Oct 18, 2013
Oct 18, 2013 at 5:55 PM UTC
She snorts her Ritalin
she snorts her xanex
she snorts her *******
before she has ***
She loves her codeine
and her amphetamines
her world spins so fast
she needs some Dramamine
she buys and sells pills,
writes prescriptions
she skips most meals
to feed her addictions
light up a cigarette
gulp down a percocet
mix uppers and downers
hoping that they offset
she takes bottle after bottle
of pills and alcohol
she just tips it back
and swallows it all
a walking pharmacy
a waiting tragedy
a princess of pills
her Medicated Majesty
Apr 6, 2011
Apr 6, 2011 at 7:12 AM UTC
vyvanse, at last, my chance to be
alive, to do, to finish all my
projects, **** I love this job,
I want to dig it all day long
ritalin, my only friend, you'll be
there till the very end, I know
that I am happy now, I
think that I have meaning now,
I wish you wouldn't bring me down, I wish I weren't
running out
adderall, yeah that's my ****
when addie's there, agree with it,
I'll never stop this addie binge, I know that
I don't have to quit,
my doctor tells me "this is it",
my dealer tells me "this the ****
I'm happy now it's safe to say the
war on drugs will end today,
amphetamine's the bread we break, the
wedding band that's been exchanged
between this government-sanctioned
pharmaceutical cartel
and the DEA
May 20, 2014
May 20, 2014 at 8:43 PM UTC
Where were you when I was growing up?
You were in college getting A's while I was getting D's in science class in the 5th grade.
I remember asking if you wanted to draw with me and you never had the "time"
10 minutes out of your ******* busy day to spend with your CHILD.
yeah, I understand bringing food to the table is important and your brain wasn't fully developed until 25 but, where were you?
I loved that computer. Oh, AOL 5.0, talking to strangers, going into lesbian chats, looking at naked pictures of women.
I appreciated when you paid attention to me when I would wear the same underwear and pants weeks straight.
It was amazing that you noticed I never used to take my Ritalin and that I would hide it under my tongue and then stick it in a mug under my ****** twin bed.
I've had 8 cats during my lifetime?
Do you remember April that cat, that siamese cat, our 5 cats? What was up with having so many **** CATS?
I loved watching nickolodeon and nick at nite. Cat dog all day with 5 kittens in our lovely apartment.
LOVED having your now "husbands" nephew trying to have *** with me when I was like 11 and he was 18.
The moths were fun.....fancied smelling like moth ***** during school!
I loved taking baths only because we had no shower head. Filling up a plastic cup with water to be able to wash my hair was my favorite.
I loved when you threw a hair dryer at me.
Digging your stupid fake nails into my skin, not sure what I did "wrong" then but that was always the best treatment, CHILD.
My favorite was when you helped with my homework.
Loved when you threatened that you would "tie a rope around my neck" and that you hated me.
Loved eating raviolis and getting 2 chicken sandwiches from Mcdonalds. Oh, 4 mini burgers and fries from Whitecastle after going to Marshalls was my favorite.
That guy, that assyrian, iranian guy that owned Carvel and was 20 years older than you...I loved when he used to let me go outside alone the condos when I was 3.
Loved when he'd force me to where overalls and ugly clothes in elementary school.
Being forced to go to an Assyrian church every sunday was the best!
Jan 9, 2013
Jan 9, 2013 at 5:07 PM UTC
If you stare out of a window
Across a bleak garden some September morning
If the neem tree in the garden reminds you of home
Vast, old, timeless
If you remember playing under a neem tree in Allahabad
And you can almost hear the laughter of children as they play
In the heat of a sultry afternoon in June
And because the window is small and barred and cannot open
Because you want to breathe freedom
Because you want to shower without them watching
Because you silently swallow your screams
Because your mind is starting to get fuzzy
Because your tongue is starting to slur
Because you have started drooling
Because your fingers shake when you write
Because the words Ritalin Prozac Depakote Lithium
Have started sounding like poetry
Because you feel your resistance slowly dying
Because you start to say the words they want to hear
Because you know the glazed look in the eyes of others
Is in your eyes too
Because this confluence of muscle and bone is wasting
Because you sleep for hours
Because you now smile at your doctors
Because you scream when the ECT paraphernalia is wheeled in
Because no one cares
Because once you’re labeled, you will be forever
Because asylums were once freak shows
Because asylum is not what it means
You go back to staring
Staring
Staring
Staring
Staring
Staring
Staring
Staring
Feb 29, 2016
Feb 29, 2016 at 1:05 PM UTC
Thoughts,
A curious thing,
Boat to boat,
Dream to dream,
Leap to leap,
Light bulb to beam,
Idea,
Spark to spark,
Jump start the cranial arc.
Neuron negotiation team.
Ambulance the ambivalence,
Channel out the Ritalin,
Limited dosages,
One day at a time, focusing,
Wake up, ECT voltages,
Sent them in the mail,
As postage just as,
Goldy-locked as porridges,
Clear the clouded vision, it's a must,
Derail the failure,
Exceed the labor,
Taste success, it's flavor,
Savor it.
Maintain a relationship with the Lord,
Escapin' and deflating ship,
Swallowed by the sea,
With a murderous howl,
Til' thoughts drift away,
Flow into the process womb,
The man that plays instruments,
Holds the key to the control panel of THINK,
Doesn't MIND this tomb,
Destiny and instinct,
Keeping each other in sync,
Putting one and two together,
Every time an internal light switch is flicked,
Not one soul around,
My thoughts mixed,
In this synaptic mail-room,
Unsorted letters,
Swimming through the mound,
Forever searching for their connections,
Til one day they'll meet,
Between then and now,
All that are lost in the end will be found.
Dec 15, 2012
Dec 15, 2012 at 4:55 AM UTC
Never Have I Ever (Slam Poem)
5/27/2014
Having a best friend makes you think of weird things.
Stuff like:
Getting slapped in the face with a fish is more about smell than texture.
13 nights in a row drinking isn't so bad if you save cash not using mixers.
A stranger hitting on you is a storyline for tomorrow's lunch.
Redecorating my room is just for you, nobody else will see it.
You asked me to go shop with you, are you saying I need new clothes?
Crushing Ritalin in a bathroom, because we stayed up 'til 6am before work.
Pooping is like extra time in the day set aside to call you on the phone.
Why do we play Never Have I Ever when we already know the ever's?
People think we constantly say inside jokes, but we're just telepathic.
I get into shape before you visit town, because you're my best wingman.
If we ever stop being friends, I really hope you don't blackmail me.
Can I designate you to speak at my wedding, babyshower, and funeral?
... or is it too soon to do that?
Losing friends can make you think of weird things, I imagine.
Stuff like:
1. I should stop ordering carne asada fries - I can't finish a whole portion.
2. I keep my curtains closed - I know your car won't randomly be outside.
3. Having lunch alone ***** - I shared a crazy story with the cashier today.
4. I take my poops with the stereo on now - I never could go in silence.
5. My voicemail inbox is full - I can't delete any when your voice pops up.
6. Maybe I should call you.
7. I need to talk to you.
8. I wish I could call you.
9. If only you'd come visit town.
10. Maybe I should go visit the cemetery.
11. I have a new least favorite Never Have I Ever.
12. Never Have I Ever had a best friend die.
And I hope I never ever will put that finger down.
May 27, 2014
May 27, 2014 at 6:05 PM UTC
**I burnt out my head
on the asphalt jungle,
doctor recommended
rest and relaxation
and these little blue pills,
now I'm living in the burbs,
on a cul-de-sac of ritalin rainbows
& my neighbors are druggie unicorns**
Apr 24, 2015
Apr 24, 2015 at 7:39 AM UTC
All the things you do to me
You give me all your hurt
You fool around in front of me
Heartache I don't deserve
Was it something that I said?
Do you need to be restrained?
If it would help I'd tie you up
But, it would not improve a thing
A psychiatric ward would work
But, also rot your brain
I can't return all of your hurt
No one could handle this much pain
You're kooky with your nonsense
That drives me most insane
Yet, every time I see your face
I fall in love again
And I can't come down
I know I need it
But the Ritalin A won't do no no
The Ritalin A won't do
You gave me girlfriend and I thank you
Let me tell you she was pretty good to me
I want to tell you all this loving cost me something
But, really, was love ever free?
Oh, don't believe those ***** hippies
Not one word, because like you, they lied to me
But, I'm not judging, just a nudge then we're together
And let everything just be
Let everything just be
And I can't come down
I know I need it
But the Ritalin A won't do
No, the Ritalin A won't do
We'd make a million dollars on your actions
If you got paid what you're worth
And all your stinking playpen games please tell me
Are you through with me?
Are you through with me?
Because I'm still way too high on loving you
And I can't come down
I know I need it
But. the Ritalin A won't do no no no no
The Ritalin A won't do
So get your body over here
Because I can't come down
No, I can't come down
From a loving you
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 16, 2014 at 3:11 PM UTC
The dark and mysterious
Starved and delirious
Eddie Murphy shotgun
Guffaw at the pitiless
Just another sound from the TV
The livin room consumed by the gloom that was written in
The script of a cartoon poppin Ritalin to stay in tune with the
Mood of his peers eatin shrooms for dinner pour salt in the wound
No splenda
Suspended by their necks from the system as society forgets them
The news covers an angle
And tells you who's the victim
Saying the youth is the danger please don't go near them
Creating strangers out of family endangering a strain of love cause that's the only thing to overcome the ******** on their tongues
Jul 27, 2014
Jul 27, 2014 at 12:04 AM UTC
A walk down the hall, all I feel is change.
Out of all the years, this one won't be the same.
New principal, more freshmen, a new set of rules.
My teachers wonder why it's like I'm never in school.
In 9th grade we had freedom, freedom of speech.
I said what I meant; I always mean what I speak.
If I felt like "forget the world," that came out of my mouth.
In 12th grade, they took all of that freedom out.
If you dropped the "F-bomb", ISS.
They put you in a white room where you can't pass a test.
Then they wonder why grades are so low.
There's no hope in the future, students seem slow.
Don't question authority, that's disrespect.
Here's a little Ritalin to keep your kids in check.
I can't let my teachers know they don't teach me a thing.
They think we'll all be flipping burgers and frying onion rings.
"Why put in any effort if they don't listen?
They have iPods and cell phones, they don’t pay attention!"
Excuse me Ms., some of us do truly want to be taught.
Why are you dismissing all the rights that, with lives, we fought?
See, you're sealing all our fates with your apathy.
Then you look at us and in the distance you see anarchy.
Oh well, another day filled with ringing bells.
Learning more stuff I can't say to my teachers.
This is Hell.
Nov 19, 2013
Nov 19, 2013 at 12:39 PM UTC
THAT girl that sits at the back of the class,
You know the one.
THE Freak who never speaks,
But always has the answer.
THAT Freak who doodles prostitutes in HER math book
THE one who's music you can hear for miles
THAT crazy chic with rasp of a smoker
And eyes that'll break you to bits
THAT sketch who somehow has high grades
THE one who snorts Ritalin in the bathroom
And stays awake in the night
SHE'LL **** you with words before weapons
THE insane one with piercings down her spine;
Has HER masters in Mind over Matter
As the scars on HER arms will attest
SHE can't feel anything.
That word SHE hears,
FREAK,
SHE doesn't ever reject it.
SHE.
EMBRACES.
IT.
Nov 18, 2013
Nov 18, 2013 at 11:01 PM UTC
stick a nickel in your mouth because you like money
melt it down and let it coat your tongue like honey
and you still can't taste food two days later
because you've got a solid metal tongue that can't taste flavor
coin tongue click your teeth for Charon to deliver
and cut your tongue out to pay him to cross the river
when you burned your last nickel in the furnace
it dissolved like the sun as it churned and spit
solar flares lick your eyes because they love you
fire only wants to kiss you like doves do
doves do burn too, feathers like ashes like carbon monoxide
they were plastic so you passed out when they fried
a little molten rubber with a little bubble
and a prize inside, pop it because it's trouble
and supple, with evaporated eyes
no doves just trinkets and magpies
a little bit of gold is the same as mass hypnosis
dove or chicken nuggets or gold nuggets for strong doses
of oxytocin and candy corn, serve them together on halloween to children
because they need thick skin and ritalin
in them to keep them quiet, and so everyone's got a little disquiet
in their stomachs, because we're all high
on coins coins and brightly lit rooms
and when we have to turn the lights off at least turn on the nickel moon
May 12, 2011
May 12, 2011 at 8:37 PM UTC