I can’t go back to that spot.
I tried once, but my legs grew heavy
like concrete blocks sinking into the ground
and pulling me down into the hot
core of the Earth.
I can’t go back to where we laid together,
floating beneath the wires,
our bodies touching, my right side to your left,
your fingers laced between mine,
braided together in everlasting clasp.
I can’t go back, not ever, because then
I’d remember the exact color of your eyes,
melted bronze,
two chocolate drops dissolving in my palms
and staining a blouse so carefully unbuttoned
by hands that took their time.
I can’t go back without you,
it wouldn't be the same;
I’d get lost in the memory of your mouth
closed so tightly upon mine,
sealing in the sunlight and wild blueberry kiss,
our tongues waltzing,
dancing and dipping inside caverns deep,
my bottom lip grasped between your teeth.
Even when I think I could go back,
I know the patch of wildflowers
where you knelt down and stole a single one,
where you placed it gingerly behind my ear,
will no longer be there.
And I swear...
if I went back and everything had changed--
Or worse, if it all was the same--
I'd be too afraid
I’d never find
the way
home.

Only time will tell
If it's the end of mine I long to find
Or just the new beginning
When I lose all track of rhyme
In loss of mind and lost control
Of blind ambition's suicide
Intertwined with passion's soul
So that in life I might revise
And redefine my dead inside
From slow declining glass of wine
To kind rewindings left behind
As memories that bleed
And drip their drops of pure sublime
Upon the lines of self-disguise
And ambiguity which hides
Me like a masquerade
Of drifting through transparent tides
When not confined to ocean-sides
In shallow depths through which I wade
Along the waves thine skies comprise
When lies are truths and lows are highs
The tantalizing heavens
Are the lighthouse in your eyes