I betrayed myself
I rather have died
Then curve my own ways
and live with my lies
Selling integrity away
holding on to something
That's broken and frayed
I'm frozen
It's hell, 
The story won't stop
Retelled and retelled
It's relentlessly retold 
waiting for these memories to go old
meditate 
For better days
To forget it
repeating past hurts
Is Addictive 
It's my ugly bad habit
I want rehab 
for the sickness and madness
The War in my head 
Put me on edge like a savage
Im tired
But have to fight 
Or there will always thick clouds
Blocking daylight