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"restore" poems
#*It is out of the heart’s cavernous longing and furious search for love, significance, acceptance, approval, identity, security, freedom, belonging, innocence, intimacy and transcendence— out of its primordial memory of what was lost to us in the Garden— that we begin to ***** idols for ourselves. Unconsciously we hope they might restore to us a taste of paradise, taking away our fear and shame and isolation. We yearn to go back but, alas, we cannot get in from there. We ache to connect to beauty, to be desired by it as much as we desire it, and Jesus is the only door by which we may enter. He is the Beauty, and all the rest are simply there like pealing bells to arouse our hearts to Him and tell us that He is coming for us. Still, as if we haven’t quite yet heard and believed the message, we keep aimlessly trying to forge a false righteousness through our false gods. When they are lost or the dreams of them unrealized we are devastated, for the shadows, echoes and reflections we had supposed would finally make us feel good about ourselves have been exposed as frauds, and once again we are left to feel naked but without fig leaves to cover us. It is at these precise moments, when the bottom of our false hope falls out, that we are best prepared to encounter Christ in His intimate fullness and most apt to recognize at last that He alone is everything we have been so desperately wanting. It is our boiling point, where the unbearable weight of failed expectation so crashes in on us that we are finally begging God to lift our idols off of us and deliver us from them, pleading with Him to come and capture us, crying out to Him to possess us fully.*#
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Jul 3, 2016
Jul 3, 2016 at 12:58 PM UTC
The Long Way Home
#*It is out of the heart’s cavernous longing and furious search for love, significance, acceptance, approval, identity, security, freedom, belonging, innocence, intimacy and transcendence— out of its primordial memory of what was lost to us in the Garden— that we begin to ***** idols for ourselves. Unconsciously we hope they might restore to us a taste of paradise, taking away our fear and shame and isolation. We yearn to go back but, alas, we cannot get in from there. We ache to connect to beauty, to be desired by it as much as we desire it, and Jesus is the only door by which we may enter. He is the Beauty, and all the rest are simply there like pealing bells to arouse our hearts to Him and tell us that He is coming for us. Still, as if we haven’t quite yet heard and believed the message, we keep aimlessly trying to forge a false righteousness through our false gods. When they are lost or the dreams of them unrealized we are devastated, for the shadows, echoes and reflections we had supposed would finally make us feel good about ourselves have been exposed as frauds, and once again we are left to feel naked but without fig leaves to cover us. It is at these precise moments, when the bottom of our false hope falls out, that we are best prepared to encounter Christ in His intimate fullness and most apt to recognize at last that He alone is everything we have been so desperately wanting. It is our boiling point, where the unbearable weight of failed expectation so crashes in on us that we are finally begging God to lift our idols off of us and deliver us from them, pleading with Him to come and capture us, crying out to Him to possess us fully.*#
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27
#*It is out of the heart’s cavernous longing and furious search for love, significance, acceptance, approval, identity, security, freedom, belonging, innocence, intimacy and transcendence— out of its primordial memory of what was lost to us in the Garden— that we begin to ***** idols for ourselves. Unconsciously we hope they might restore to us a taste of paradise, taking away our fear and shame and isolation. We yearn to go back but, alas, we cannot get in from there. We ache to connect to beauty, to be desired by it as much as we desire it, and Jesus is the only door by which we may enter. He is the Beauty, and all the rest are simply there like pealing bells to arouse our hearts to Him and tell us that He is coming for us. Still, as if we haven’t quite yet heard and believed the message, we keep aimlessly trying to forge a false righteousness through our false gods. When they are lost or the dreams of them unrealized we are devastated, for the shadows, echoes and reflections we had supposed would finally make us feel good about ourselves have been exposed as frauds, and once again we are left to feel naked but without fig leaves to cover us. It is at these precise moments, when the bottom of our false hope falls out, that we are best prepared to encounter Christ in His intimate fullness and most apt to recognize at last that He alone is everything we have been so desperately wanting. It is our boiling point, where the unbearable weight of failed expectation so crashes in on us that we are finally begging God to lift our idols off of us and deliver us from them, pleading with Him to come and capture us, crying out to Him to possess us fully.*#
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Nov 12, 2015
Nov 12, 2015 at 10:41 PM UTC
The Long Way Home
#*It is out of the heart’s cavernous longing and furious search for love, significance, acceptance, approval, identity, security, freedom, belonging, innocence, intimacy and transcendence— out of its primordial memory of what was lost to us in the Garden— that we begin to ***** idols for ourselves. Unconsciously we hope they might restore to us a taste of paradise, taking away our fear and shame and isolation. We yearn to go back but, alas, we cannot get in from there. We ache to connect to beauty, to be desired by it as much as we desire it, and Jesus is the only door by which we may enter. He is the Beauty, and all the rest are simply there like pealing bells to arouse our hearts to Him and tell us that He is coming for us. Still, as if we haven’t quite yet heard and believed the message, we keep aimlessly trying to forge a false righteousness through our false gods. When they are lost or the dreams of them unrealized we are devastated, for the shadows, echoes and reflections we had supposed would finally make us feel good about ourselves have been exposed as frauds, and once again we are left to feel naked but without fig leaves to cover us. It is at these precise moments, when the bottom of our false hope falls out, that we are best prepared to encounter Christ in His intimate fullness and most apt to recognize at last that He alone is everything we have been so desperately wanting. It is our boiling point, where the unbearable weight of failed expectation so crashes in on us that we are finally begging God to lift our idols off of us and deliver us from them, pleading with Him to come and capture us, crying out to Him to possess us fully.*#
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27
Oh, will you ever return to me, My wild first force, will you return When the old madness comes to Blacken in me and to burn Slow in my brain like a slow fire In a blackened brazier - dull like a smear of blood, Humid and hot evil, slow-sweltering up in a flood! Oh, will you not come back, my fierce song? Jubilant and exultant, triumphing over the huge wrong of that slow fire of madness that feeds on me - the slow mad blood thick with its hate and evil, sweltering up in its flood! Oh! will you not purge it from me - my wild lost flame? Come and restore me, save me from the intolerable shame Of that huge eye that eats into my Naked body constantly And has no name, Gazing upon me from the immense and Cruel bareness of the sky That leaves no mercy of concealment That gives no promise of revealment And that drives us on forever with its lidless eye Across a huge and houseless level of a planetary vacancy Oh, wild song and fury, fire and flame, Lost magic of my youth return, defend me from this shame! And Oh! You golden vengeance of bright song Not cure but answer to earth's wrong
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Imagine that I could write a salve, compose an ointment of verbal herbs to heal, even mere protect the already-torn-so-easy mental flesh, just to disguise/hide the multi-colored bruising our fickle mistress-in-common provides when you are down so far another bruise joining the cast like a  floodplain subsuming one more feeding creek bed into the shapelessness of indistinguishability imagine that where atoms hide eternal between creation and destruction, borrow brief the set exact you require to restore the taken years from fathers/mothers/brothers/sisters, children, return that which went unused by the uninvited, unseemly human whim of war and lies for no gain imagine that the deep sinkhole of despair that ***** one in, years in the formation, appearing in instance, and worse does not drowns but leaves helpless, unable to climb out, and all our scratching digs us in deeper until we cannot be, seen or heard or just be imagine that a check comes in the mail, payable left open for filling-in, in the amount of full restoration, with no additional fees of guilt needed for deposit and cashing/caching out: and you wake up and the stony chest is breathing lungs free imagine that and I do; for I am the smoke of return and rest, sky inscribing, knowing precise needs and the screams and the years unfair taken, they are screened through the five perceptions, and the word weaver sets the loom for each peculiar requisition, no imagination needed imagine that you lament and anger demand verifiable proofs mathematical, cursing the knights of false hopes with untethered regret I do not imagine that; hear it and accept; my task, imagine that, making you imagine that, thus commencement of repair begins when we imagine that for this how new healthy cells  are born quiet-now,  go, imagine-that, now*
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Aug 18, 2018
Aug 18, 2018 at 1:02 PM UTC
imagine that
Imagine that I could write a salve, compose an ointment of verbal herbs to heal, even mere protect the already-torn-so-easy mental flesh, just to disguise/hide the multi-colored bruising our fickle mistress-in-common provides when you are down so far another bruise joining the cast like a  floodplain subsuming one more feeding creek bed into the shapelessness of indistinguishability imagine that where atoms hide eternal between creation and destruction, borrow brief the set exact you require to restore the taken years from fathers/mothers/brothers/sisters, children, return that which went unused by the uninvited, unseemly human whim of war and lies for no gain imagine that the deep sinkhole of despair that ***** one in, years in the formation, appearing in instance, and worse does not drowns but leaves helpless, unable to climb out, and all our scratching digs us in deeper until we cannot be, seen or heard or just be imagine that a check comes in the mail, payable left open for filling-in, in the amount of full restoration, with no additional fees of guilt needed for deposit and cashing/caching out: and you wake up and the stony chest is breathing lungs free imagine that and I do; for I am the smoke of return and rest, sky inscribing, knowing precise needs and the screams and the years unfair taken, they are screened through the five perceptions, and the word weaver sets the loom for each peculiar requisition, no imagination needed imagine that you lament and anger demand verifiable proofs mathematical, cursing the knights of false hopes with untethered regret I do not imagine that; hear it and accept; my task, imagine that, making you imagine that, thus commencement of repair begins when we imagine that for this how new healthy cells  are born quiet-now,  go, imagine-that, now*
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32
Here in the desert it's been raining on and off             for days making the succulents and cacti glisten with wetness their thick skin sparkles and catches nature's ironic eye flowers and plants shine so much better in the half-grey Here in the prehistoric depths Of rocky whitewash and silt              flash floods rush through flushing out all guilt          And inside a raging storm commences and I feel so blessed to be a part of this celebration my lungs expanding in my chest I breathe in deep that fresh purity of air let it cleanse right through me from my toes up to my hair It rushes in my body taking no prisoners in its force flows through every vein cleansing poisons in its course its power flows into me washing out this stubborn pain Turning the confusion                      into clarity again From inside subconscious thoughts            realization thunders rinsing from my mind                  the emotional strain and replacing it with euphoric wonders Come, my raging desert tempest Bathe me        penetrate me with wet restore and purify my being take over and disinfect let me feel my own strength until it pours out from my cells into the space inside my heart where love and lust still dwell My tears mingle with the sweet drops                 as I fling arms open to the sky releasing strikes of lightening for every word I cry as I summon, pray for lightness mixed with the sturdiness of earth Let joy rise up and bubble within my being as rebirth
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Apr 13, 2016
Apr 13, 2016 at 11:02 AM UTC
Desert Tempest
Here in the desert it's been raining on and off             for days making the succulents and cacti glisten with wetness their thick skin sparkles and catches nature's ironic eye flowers and plants shine so much better in the half-grey Here in the prehistoric depths Of rocky whitewash and silt              flash floods rush through flushing out all guilt          And inside a raging storm commences and I feel so blessed to be a part of this celebration my lungs expanding in my chest I breathe in deep that fresh purity of air let it cleanse right through me from my toes up to my hair It rushes in my body taking no prisoners in its force flows through every vein cleansing poisons in its course its power flows into me washing out this stubborn pain Turning the confusion                      into clarity again From inside subconscious thoughts            realization thunders rinsing from my mind                  the emotional strain and replacing it with euphoric wonders Come, my raging desert tempest Bathe me        penetrate me with wet restore and purify my being take over and disinfect let me feel my own strength until it pours out from my cells into the space inside my heart where love and lust still dwell My tears mingle with the sweet drops                 as I fling arms open to the sky releasing strikes of lightening for every word I cry as I summon, pray for lightness mixed with the sturdiness of earth Let joy rise up and bubble within my being as rebirth
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55
She stands at the door to your heart knocking, steadily Not seeking out your head but obsessed with your conscience, Curious to dominate every burn of your passions, And seek recognition wherever you register your presences. She seeks to work in your work and gain expression, She moves with her entire family of Love, Respect and Tolerance       In all your dealings with those of your kind; She demands you let her take the lead if you don't mind. "Oh! if only they see how much they need me", she cries, "Then humanity would not be ruled by these many lies". Make haste and open the door don't further delay, She sees your desolation and seeks to brighten your day. She stands at the door to your heart please listen, This reviving call must not escape your sense of reason, Redefine and restore human values is her major quest, Meet Dignity; give her your best and she'l fulfill the rest.
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Jun 24, 2014
Jun 24, 2014 at 4:56 AM UTC
Meet Dignity
In the cusp of closing night, I look into your weary eyes; once outshining city lights. I see no way to realize the healing of this blight - I venture to make a phoenix cry. Remedy of such mythos might, might just prove unjust lies. Chance restoring your ere vacant sight - fighting soul’s primal guide. As any chance to restore my bride, binds our fractured lives. ...No words to describe affliction already decided.
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Jul 10, 2018
Jul 10, 2018 at 3:14 PM UTC
The Blinding Bride
O Great Goddess I Your true worshiper Crawl before your altar To beseech you Grant this poor Suffering soul Even a moments relief From the crushing weight Of this great love Its sweet agony The crippling despair All melded into one great mass of feeling O merciful Olympian Great passionate Goddess Provide succor To this lost and wand'ring devotee A glimmer of hope To tether my soul And keep the Furies at bay In the same way You granted Pygmalion's request And brought to life His marvelous statue Galatea Answer my desperate supplication Goddess of Beauty I offer my self to you I shall strive to restore Your true worship In this cursed world That has forsaken the true gods I shall bring whatever sacrifices you require If only you grant me this boon Quench a dying man's thirst Bring me up from Pluto's realm And lay me in the Elysian fields Great Goddess Hear my plea As a follower still of your descendant Gaius Julius A follower during his lifetime And a follower ever to this day I always serve your great name O Great Goddess Hear my plea Great and wonderful Goddess Venus.
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Dec 28, 2010
Dec 28, 2010 at 5:39 AM UTC
A Prayer to Venus
its said that children dream of magical heroes, much like hercules. or superman. the avengers. or power rangers. they place all their faith in these mythical strangers. strangers who fight all the "bad", and restore all the "good", as if the heroes themselves, are never misunderstood. as if superman, never lost a single fight, and the red power-ranger, never tossed and turned at night. as if hercules, never wished he wasn't as strong, as if the avengers, always got along. what children don't realize, when reading these books, and watching these shows, is that everyone has problems, even the bravest heroes.
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Nov 7, 2012
Nov 7, 2012 at 7:37 PM UTC
hercules.
I hung the sunflower from a piece of twine in my wardrobe, some months ago now. Something once beautiful, a gift from you to me, a symbol of us, together and the happiness we found in eachother as we grew and bloomed together. So I hung it in the wardrobe to preserve it. To keep it. To admire it. To cherish it for as long as we could. And yet despite my attempts, this sunflower’s petals fell to the wardrobe floor, it’s head shrivelling, wilting. What could I do? but leave it there for days and weeks, suspended amongst the clothes. But the longer I left it, unable to face what I knew I had to do, the worse this sunflower became. We cannot restore life into something dead and decayed. I sharpened my shears and cut both the thin twine of the sunflower, and the thin twine holding us together. The dead sunflower hanging in my wardrobe becomes the dead sunflower lying amongst its own petals on the wardrobe floor. I am left to pick up the pieces of what once was. It was useless to try to preserve when all flowers live, then die.
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Jan 15, 2019
Jan 15, 2019 at 6:37 PM UTC
ii. The Dead Sunflower Hanging in My Wardrobe
Benji...this is your conscience speaking... "You'll never be good enough for her, Who are you kidding? You aren't attractive enough, To obtain her love. What are you thinking boy...? Why are you trying to destroy everything left inside yourself. Do you want to be addicted to this drug? Better stop praying to the sky above... Get back up Benji, move a little faster or this storm is going to catch up with ya. I know you don't give a f**k, But you better start Or you'll end up back in that slump and this time...I'm not sure you'll get back up And pull yourself back out of that dump." Resurrect everything inside of my soul Reignite that light, that once shined Bring me back So I can fight, let me find That parts of me that I lost in the dark Give me the spark to restore life to my heart Just can't seem to get a grip People all around me Are gritting their teeth Waiting for my next slip Trying to anticipate my next trip That just ain't cool... Why don't you worry about yourself? I don't need your help. I've dealt with everything else on my own People catch me in public speaking to myself I'm just talking to the inner me trying to work out my inner being Haven't you ever been confused? Feeling self-accused, hurt and bruised. Resurrect everything inside of my soul Reignite that light, that once shined Bring me back So I can fight, let me find That parts of me that I lost in the dark Give me the spark to restore life to my heart "Benji look at you now... You crashed yourself into the ground You tried to rebound Back from the darkness of life You just drowned in the blackness inside You are losing parts of yourself Every time you're inflicted with pain Your soul melts You die a little more inside You're trying to ride this tide But you keep running out of time So you better decide If you're willing to climb This jagged cliff edge One last time." Resurrect everything inside of my soul Reignite that light, that once shined Bring me back So I can fight, let me find That parts of me that I lost in the dark Give me the spark to restore life to my heart ©2018 Written By Benji James
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Jul 21, 2018
Jul 21, 2018 at 11:36 PM UTC
On My Conscience
Benji...this is your conscience speaking... "You'll never be good enough for her, Who are you kidding? You aren't attractive enough, To obtain her love. What are you thinking boy...? Why are you trying to destroy everything left inside yourself. Do you want to be addicted to this drug? Better stop praying to the sky above... Get back up Benji, move a little faster or this storm is going to catch up with ya. I know you don't give a f**k, But you better start Or you'll end up back in that slump and this time...I'm not sure you'll get back up And pull yourself back out of that dump." Resurrect everything inside of my soul Reignite that light, that once shined Bring me back So I can fight, let me find That parts of me that I lost in the dark Give me the spark to restore life to my heart Just can't seem to get a grip People all around me Are gritting their teeth Waiting for my next slip Trying to anticipate my next trip That just ain't cool... Why don't you worry about yourself? I don't need your help. I've dealt with everything else on my own People catch me in public speaking to myself I'm just talking to the inner me trying to work out my inner being Haven't you ever been confused? Feeling self-accused, hurt and bruised. Resurrect everything inside of my soul Reignite that light, that once shined Bring me back So I can fight, let me find That parts of me that I lost in the dark Give me the spark to restore life to my heart "Benji look at you now... You crashed yourself into the ground You tried to rebound Back from the darkness of life You just drowned in the blackness inside You are losing parts of yourself Every time you're inflicted with pain Your soul melts You die a little more inside You're trying to ride this tide But you keep running out of time So you better decide If you're willing to climb This jagged cliff edge One last time." Resurrect everything inside of my soul Reignite that light, that once shined Bring me back So I can fight, let me find That parts of me that I lost in the dark Give me the spark to restore life to my heart ©2018 Written By Benji James
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72
Fear, Is a battle. Fear is a Disease. My disease. Fear, puts me in places, That I know I shouldn't be in. Like I woke up in a dark attic, not knowing how I got there, or why. See, it's not...things...I'm afraid of. It's not people, or pain, or injury, or death. Fear puts thoughts in you, that are totally and completely out of character, until they begin changing how you define yourself. I am, The fearful. I am, The untrusting. Trust and fear come hand in hand, but purvey the opposite effects of one another. Trust, puts fear to sleep. A silent, peaceful slumber. A place fear would rather be anyway. Trust allows you to see what is hopefully the truth in others. Ah...you see. "Hopefully." There is that little seed of doubt. Fear is the abusive sibling of the relationship. Always hanging over trust's shoulder, whispering worst-case scenarios in his ear. In mine, it takes trust's confidence and gently, throws it into the nearest garbage can. Trust is powerful. But fear cuts deep. When trust, faith, in someone is broken... Well...we've all been there at some point. When trust is broken, he half-heartedly stumbles to his bed, and stays there. Not asleep. Just, broken. At this point fear doesn't have to do a thing. Anytime you look inside yourself, since trust is gone, the only thing left is fear, just...sitting there. Normally trust...gets up and brushes himself off to try again, especially with the help of friends. But, in a few of us... In a few of us, trust falls asleep, and disappears. Hope, the half-sibling tries and tries to wake him up, to no avail. Trust is gone. Fear just sits there. Doing nothing, but doing everything. Hope is a stubborn one, and pushes, and pushes, and pushes. Sometimes it works. Sometimes, it doesn't. Fear. Trust. They walk, hand in hand. Toe, to toe. I am, The fearful. I am, The untrusting. Hope, through valiant effort, keeps on trying. Her energy is not limitless. At times like these... Hope, is not enough. Trust has died. The only way, to restore the balance, Is for another's heart to come forth, and share their trust. It's not fair, asking your trust to keep my fear in check, as well as yours, It just isn't. At times like these, I need the trust of someone, Who is willing to share, With one, who trusts no one.
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Nov 3, 2018
Nov 3, 2018 at 8:44 PM UTC
A Story of Fear, Trust, and Hope.
Fear, Is a battle. Fear is a Disease. My disease. Fear, puts me in places, That I know I shouldn't be in. Like I woke up in a dark attic, not knowing how I got there, or why. See, it's not...things...I'm afraid of. It's not people, or pain, or injury, or death. Fear puts thoughts in you, that are totally and completely out of character, until they begin changing how you define yourself. I am, The fearful. I am, The untrusting. Trust and fear come hand in hand, but purvey the opposite effects of one another. Trust, puts fear to sleep. A silent, peaceful slumber. A place fear would rather be anyway. Trust allows you to see what is hopefully the truth in others. Ah...you see. "Hopefully." There is that little seed of doubt. Fear is the abusive sibling of the relationship. Always hanging over trust's shoulder, whispering worst-case scenarios in his ear. In mine, it takes trust's confidence and gently, throws it into the nearest garbage can. Trust is powerful. But fear cuts deep. When trust, faith, in someone is broken... Well...we've all been there at some point. When trust is broken, he half-heartedly stumbles to his bed, and stays there. Not asleep. Just, broken. At this point fear doesn't have to do a thing. Anytime you look inside yourself, since trust is gone, the only thing left is fear, just...sitting there. Normally trust...gets up and brushes himself off to try again, especially with the help of friends. But, in a few of us... In a few of us, trust falls asleep, and disappears. Hope, the half-sibling tries and tries to wake him up, to no avail. Trust is gone. Fear just sits there. Doing nothing, but doing everything. Hope is a stubborn one, and pushes, and pushes, and pushes. Sometimes it works. Sometimes, it doesn't. Fear. Trust. They walk, hand in hand. Toe, to toe. I am, The fearful. I am, The untrusting. Hope, through valiant effort, keeps on trying. Her energy is not limitless. At times like these... Hope, is not enough. Trust has died. The only way, to restore the balance, Is for another's heart to come forth, and share their trust. It's not fair, asking your trust to keep my fear in check, as well as yours, It just isn't. At times like these, I need the trust of someone, Who is willing to share, With one, who trusts no one.
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53
I am not just a person in a uniform, I am a Soldier. Every time I arise,  I obey; Each time she calls, I step up To defend her freedom, To restore her home of peace I arise,  I obey, I soldier on. Into the forest of her terrors I charge, not without fear for that which is mine but with love and strength and faith, I March. Defending the labour of heroes past, I march; fighting for dreams of her children bright- the  future she deserves. I arise, I obey, I soldier on. In the army I serve Nigeria,  my Country with heart, might and spine. Though a thousand times I have fallen, bits and pieces of me, lost to her darkness, still I obey, knowing it may be my last. I arise, leaving my family and friends behind. I obey your call of duty. My service and loyalty I pack on with my combat gear, that you may live to see yet another day, to feel yet another ray of light on your face. I am not just a person in a uniform. I am your Soldier,  the Nigerian Soldier, Ambushed and slaughtered in 40s, 70s and 100 for lack of resources. Bless me O Nigeria as I arise and obey Send me to your enemies with arsenals and might to match the fire in my eyes. As opposed to the massacres of me, let the headlines read of our gallant victory For my victory is yours over those who threaten our unity. I am not just a person in a uniform. I am your Soldier Do not let my bravery dissipate to stupidity For I rise,  I obey,  I soldier on still. ©Belema .S.  Ekine ©belemascribbles
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Dec 23, 2018
Dec 23, 2018 at 6:51 PM UTC
SOLDIERING ON
I am not just a person in a uniform, I am a Soldier. Every time I arise,  I obey; Each time she calls, I step up To defend her freedom, To restore her home of peace I arise,  I obey, I soldier on. Into the forest of her terrors I charge, not without fear for that which is mine but with love and strength and faith, I March. Defending the labour of heroes past, I march; fighting for dreams of her children bright- the  future she deserves. I arise, I obey, I soldier on. In the army I serve Nigeria,  my Country with heart, might and spine. Though a thousand times I have fallen, bits and pieces of me, lost to her darkness, still I obey, knowing it may be my last. I arise, leaving my family and friends behind. I obey your call of duty. My service and loyalty I pack on with my combat gear, that you may live to see yet another day, to feel yet another ray of light on your face. I am not just a person in a uniform. I am your Soldier,  the Nigerian Soldier, Ambushed and slaughtered in 40s, 70s and 100 for lack of resources. Bless me O Nigeria as I arise and obey Send me to your enemies with arsenals and might to match the fire in my eyes. As opposed to the massacres of me, let the headlines read of our gallant victory For my victory is yours over those who threaten our unity. I am not just a person in a uniform. I am your Soldier Do not let my bravery dissipate to stupidity For I rise,  I obey,  I soldier on still. ©Belema .S.  Ekine ©belemascribbles
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42
Cruel times, cruel hearts of fighters Going to death under the orders of the fathers, For the blood that binds them, Both the brothers who fell and friends still alive, Brutal century, cruel eyes of the war, Staring with soulless of Satan on the human world, Yeah heard journalists huskiness news, Yes does not relieve a state of alarm of the soldiers ' mothers, What are waiting for years for news of the children. Is it possible the war to stop? All sufferers to give a lot? Blow out fires, bridges to restore? But the smell of blood strong for the sharks, Give no rest, so sweet it is.
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May 16, 2015
May 16, 2015 at 9:00 PM UTC
Time of mankind
We all just want to be truly free, Of all the hatred and misery. But the limitations of humans, you see, Is that we can't decide what's meant to be. We can't control what happens around us, Not even prevent tragedies that faze us. And while happy and sad are simultaneous, It seems only the depression becomes contagious. Life is hard, and we all know, When only a mask, can we show. Only one can relate and help us grow, But the breeze carrying love, will rarely blow. I just want to live in happiness, Feel nothing but the eternal bliss. But the only thing that brings me this, Comes from her lips, that one special kiss. But what do I do when she's not here? She may not return, that's what I fear. Her time to go, seems to be near, But I can't let go when I hold her so dear. Each day that passes, what grows is her pain, And as  a human, it's what I can't contain. I'd love to die, but I must refrain, Because that would just drive her totally insane. We don't want to be, not at each others' side, But The Lord didn't make that for us to decide. To know this just happens, sounds like genocide, Losing her is like breathing cyanide. We can only see through our own eyes, We can't comprehend another's demise. It's this very limit that I despise, Because I'll never know when her soul cries. The limitations of being human, Make us permanent catechumens. Only she could restore my faith, But lost I will be, shall I see her wraith. She is all that matters to me, Together forever, we wished we could be. My soul can't escape the depths of this Hell, Without her, there I'll eternally dwell. But her soul being a pure white dove, She saves me with her beauteous love. So I beg thee great Lord, not bound like us, Save her, it's You to whom, her I entrust. She's the one who takes away, The sins that always lead me astray. Lord, you know, for you are not I, She's my Angel, I see in both eyes.
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May 7, 2014
May 7, 2014 at 1:17 AM UTC
The Limitations of Being Human
We all just want to be truly free, Of all the hatred and misery. But the limitations of humans, you see, Is that we can't decide what's meant to be. We can't control what happens around us, Not even prevent tragedies that faze us. And while happy and sad are simultaneous, It seems only the depression becomes contagious. Life is hard, and we all know, When only a mask, can we show. Only one can relate and help us grow, But the breeze carrying love, will rarely blow. I just want to live in happiness, Feel nothing but the eternal bliss. But the only thing that brings me this, Comes from her lips, that one special kiss. But what do I do when she's not here? She may not return, that's what I fear. Her time to go, seems to be near, But I can't let go when I hold her so dear. Each day that passes, what grows is her pain, And as  a human, it's what I can't contain. I'd love to die, but I must refrain, Because that would just drive her totally insane. We don't want to be, not at each others' side, But The Lord didn't make that for us to decide. To know this just happens, sounds like genocide, Losing her is like breathing cyanide. We can only see through our own eyes, We can't comprehend another's demise. It's this very limit that I despise, Because I'll never know when her soul cries. The limitations of being human, Make us permanent catechumens. Only she could restore my faith, But lost I will be, shall I see her wraith. She is all that matters to me, Together forever, we wished we could be. My soul can't escape the depths of this Hell, Without her, there I'll eternally dwell. But her soul being a pure white dove, She saves me with her beauteous love. So I beg thee great Lord, not bound like us, Save her, it's You to whom, her I entrust. She's the one who takes away, The sins that always lead me astray. Lord, you know, for you are not I, She's my Angel, I see in both eyes.
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The reason why I apologize So profusely over the tiniest of things Is because I always feel as though I am a bother and annoyance so I want the person to be aware that I am truly sorry for the mishap I may have brought about or the wrong words that may have come out of my mouth Because in the past I had to apologize again and again A million sorries I must have said Just to get the point across Just to assuage the anger I unintentionally caused I apologize repeatedly Because I fear not being taken seriously When I say sorry I mean it with all of my heart I apologize even when people say I am not at fault Because in the past I was always the one guilty I was always in the wrong Because when that rage came up and rolled along It rolled right over me And so I said sorry I said sorry to the steamroller for being in its way And for the broken bones and bruises on my heart that I carried for days I apologize for apologizing Because I know I must sound so repetitive and annoying But I feel as though I can't apologize enough To make up for and cover up Whatever sin I may have committed against the one I am apologizing to Because when you say it’s okay I always fear it’s not true Because in the past those hiccups and bumps That weren't even my fault were held against me for months No matter the amount of times I said sorry and meant it And the number of times I tried to fix The mangled mess that wasn't mine but that I was still apologizing for It was like going to war But I waged it and gave my best effort To stitch and sew up the jagged cuts Of long angry nights and an alcohol filled gut But failed and then apologized when the seams ripped and tore Because no matter what I did was going to restore What used to be Or repair the damage that happened before me And so I am sorry for that That I couldn't make it better because I lacked Whatever it was you were looking for But that constant state of feeling guilty is what sent me out the door And I am free of that weight now But I still feel the need to say sorry for every little mistake now Thanks to you I sound like a record stuck on repeat So I’m sorry that I say sorry too much But I never know when enough sorries are enough
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Jan 21, 2018
Jan 21, 2018 at 2:08 PM UTC
An Apology for Apologizing
The reason why I apologize So profusely over the tiniest of things Is because I always feel as though I am a bother and annoyance so I want the person to be aware that I am truly sorry for the mishap I may have brought about or the wrong words that may have come out of my mouth Because in the past I had to apologize again and again A million sorries I must have said Just to get the point across Just to assuage the anger I unintentionally caused I apologize repeatedly Because I fear not being taken seriously When I say sorry I mean it with all of my heart I apologize even when people say I am not at fault Because in the past I was always the one guilty I was always in the wrong Because when that rage came up and rolled along It rolled right over me And so I said sorry I said sorry to the steamroller for being in its way And for the broken bones and bruises on my heart that I carried for days I apologize for apologizing Because I know I must sound so repetitive and annoying But I feel as though I can't apologize enough To make up for and cover up Whatever sin I may have committed against the one I am apologizing to Because when you say it’s okay I always fear it’s not true Because in the past those hiccups and bumps That weren't even my fault were held against me for months No matter the amount of times I said sorry and meant it And the number of times I tried to fix The mangled mess that wasn't mine but that I was still apologizing for It was like going to war But I waged it and gave my best effort To stitch and sew up the jagged cuts Of long angry nights and an alcohol filled gut But failed and then apologized when the seams ripped and tore Because no matter what I did was going to restore What used to be Or repair the damage that happened before me And so I am sorry for that That I couldn't make it better because I lacked Whatever it was you were looking for But that constant state of feeling guilty is what sent me out the door And I am free of that weight now But I still feel the need to say sorry for every little mistake now Thanks to you I sound like a record stuck on repeat So I’m sorry that I say sorry too much But I never know when enough sorries are enough
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This is me apologizing. This is me finally coming up for air and coughing up apologizes instead of swallowing them down with gulps of water. This is me looking at your face and seeing the bags under your eyes because you stayed up all night trying to call me and apologizing. Looking at your nails and seeing the skin around them ****** and scabbed and the beds unevenly bitten down to nothing and apologizing. Looking at your eyes and seeing the way you bought colored contacts to cover the fact you spent days unmoving from a mirror trying to love yourself and apologizing. This is me seeing the needle points on your lips from where you injected your own blood to attempt to regain that color I claimed to be in love with and apologizing. As I'm looking at your arms and seeing where you scrubbed your skin with chemicals trying to erase the essence of me and when you smile I can see that you chugged a bottle of bleach to try and whiten your teeth bright enough so that you could be accepted by God himself into the pearly gates all I can do is apologize. I'm sorry that you spent hours carving my name into his back with your fingernails and biting your own tongue so hard it bled when he told you he loved you. When his flesh connected with yours causing the world to stop for a second and listen to your shrieking I know it was me you were screaming for and I'm sorry. As I'm standing here staring at you and watching them put brush stroke after brush stroke of blush onto your lovely pale cheeks trying to restore the life you lost so many years ago I'm finally realizing it's too late to apologize yet all I can think about is how this isn't even close to the eulogy you deserved. I should be talking about the way you danced and how your voice made my own falter momentarily and how you were more alive when you were dying than I ever will be when I'm living rather than apologizing but all I can seem to rationalize is how I spent years dry swallowing your love and spitting up knives to use to carve my initials into your thigh so you would always remember me and how I never even had the common decency to count to three before destroying you and I'm sorry. I'm afraid to look up now that I've finished apologizing because I know your empty eyes filled with nothingness will be staring back so horribly confused because I doubt you ever continued listening after I used the world eulogy and I'm sure you're going to wonder why I'm talking as if I'm sitting at your funeral rather than on the end of your bed but I don't know how else to make you grasp the concept of what you're doing to yourself by loving me in a better way than this and I'm sorry. C.a.l
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Feb 9, 2015
Feb 9, 2015 at 7:21 PM UTC
Eulogies
This is me apologizing. This is me finally coming up for air and coughing up apologizes instead of swallowing them down with gulps of water. This is me looking at your face and seeing the bags under your eyes because you stayed up all night trying to call me and apologizing. Looking at your nails and seeing the skin around them ****** and scabbed and the beds unevenly bitten down to nothing and apologizing. Looking at your eyes and seeing the way you bought colored contacts to cover the fact you spent days unmoving from a mirror trying to love yourself and apologizing. This is me seeing the needle points on your lips from where you injected your own blood to attempt to regain that color I claimed to be in love with and apologizing. As I'm looking at your arms and seeing where you scrubbed your skin with chemicals trying to erase the essence of me and when you smile I can see that you chugged a bottle of bleach to try and whiten your teeth bright enough so that you could be accepted by God himself into the pearly gates all I can do is apologize. I'm sorry that you spent hours carving my name into his back with your fingernails and biting your own tongue so hard it bled when he told you he loved you. When his flesh connected with yours causing the world to stop for a second and listen to your shrieking I know it was me you were screaming for and I'm sorry. As I'm standing here staring at you and watching them put brush stroke after brush stroke of blush onto your lovely pale cheeks trying to restore the life you lost so many years ago I'm finally realizing it's too late to apologize yet all I can think about is how this isn't even close to the eulogy you deserved. I should be talking about the way you danced and how your voice made my own falter momentarily and how you were more alive when you were dying than I ever will be when I'm living rather than apologizing but all I can seem to rationalize is how I spent years dry swallowing your love and spitting up knives to use to carve my initials into your thigh so you would always remember me and how I never even had the common decency to count to three before destroying you and I'm sorry. I'm afraid to look up now that I've finished apologizing because I know your empty eyes filled with nothingness will be staring back so horribly confused because I doubt you ever continued listening after I used the world eulogy and I'm sure you're going to wonder why I'm talking as if I'm sitting at your funeral rather than on the end of your bed but I don't know how else to make you grasp the concept of what you're doing to yourself by loving me in a better way than this and I'm sorry. C.a.l
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she was like         a wilting flower drained of all things that kept the others upright he was like         a rushing brook who saw her crumpled and tired, crowded by overgrown weeds, and wanted nothing more than to clear the earth around her and see her bloom again so he took all he had         and poured it into her and when finally the pinkness had returned to her cheeks         she looked back at him         and saw that he was now like         a withering shrub frail and planted in dry clay and despite the deep conviction she had in her heart to restore him         like he had restored her all of her best efforts left her with with exposed roots and dirt beneath her fingernails he wouldn’t let her stay         to continue to try         to quench his thirst so she left him with a watering can and promised he’d soon find relief
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May 22, 2013
May 22, 2013 at 4:09 PM UTC
favor unreturned
this is just another ******* **** poem why just another **** poem? you sit there and think why talk about this so often when the economy is collapsing and children are starving and there's a possibility of a world war 3? but guess what ****** this poem isn't for you its for those who's souls have been tied down and beaten for those who have lost all hope for those who have been told that its "all their fault" to them, this poem isn't just another ******* **** poem it is their savior poem the one thing that points out the ****** up things like double standards and victim blaming it may give them the push that will break the ropes that hold their souls down this is the poem that will restore hope for those who have given up because society has given up them and tossed them away like a used ****** and I will continue writing other ******* **** poems until my mother stops telling me to not forget my mace until I dont have to pay for 500$ self defense classes, on the off chance that hey, maybe I wont be ***** tonight. until im not blamed for being attacked until my ****** is not pitted for his football carer being ended prematurely until I can dress like a **** and get home safely I will continue writing **** poems until I have nothing ******* left to write about
0
Mar 25, 2014
Mar 25, 2014 at 12:36 PM UTC
Just another ******* **** poem
Anthropogenic climate change Nuclear fallout Chernobyl Raptors flourish And wolves Dwell Sleeping. Catfish swimming In a cooling eye Grown old and untouchable By mans wills. Rusty ships Wetlands Roam free. Storks in their nests 1875 The cheval de prjevalski Dye without mercy The fallout from time A call to restore A broken land. The wolves cry The wolves cry
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Apr 24, 2014
Apr 24, 2014 at 8:38 PM UTC
Chernobyl
The rush of blood the face we placed On every corner on every space We raced to come to terms with life With morality a facade for strife Pointing to the pain as a promise for more Pointing to old books that might restore Dignity and respect for the living While other possibilities are destroyed And the destroyers are forgiven Sweaty palms stomach ulcerated And for the sake of the soon to be liberated Let me explain how real morals are made Not through musty scriptures Not through verses that are immature But through learning and coming to terms with How everyone feels and experiences life different
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Jan 8, 2015
Jan 8, 2015 at 8:07 AM UTC
Making Morality 2
Saying my "goodnight"s to God my prayer inadvertently strays As my mind starts to wander in a million different ways. I reflect on where we started thousands of years in the past, When our first parents made a poor choice with consequences that would a long time last. Imagine: Not having to pray to God thru Christ his son But rather speaking to him as a friend one-on-one. As you walk in your garden with no property bounds You delight in the peace with the animals & the variety of sounds. But alas that deadly bite they took And the hope of everlasting life forsook. Their once perfect bodies now began to decay And onto their offspring this curse did relay. So the wheels in my head now spin To my inheritance of sin And my determination to overcome The inherent sin to which most succumb. Though the enemies try to fight To bring me down with all their might I know there is a stronger power A refuge & strong tower Into which I'm able to run When my own strength is done Because although we're born from them God's word like a precious gem Promises that to us he will incline Because between our sin & perfection is a fine line. He made us in HIS image out of love Exercising His power from the heights above Instantly displaying His justice when His purpose was diverted In His infinite wisdom knowing His true lovers could not be converted. Promising to us he would restore Conditions of the Earth as they were before Paying with the life of his Son the ultimate price So that all exercising faith could once & always live in Paradise.. © 2012
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Jul 6, 2012
Jul 6, 2012 at 12:57 AM UTC
Fine Line
Saying my "goodnight"s to God my prayer inadvertently strays As my mind starts to wander in a million different ways. I reflect on where we started thousands of years in the past, When our first parents made a poor choice with consequences that would a long time last. Imagine: Not having to pray to God thru Christ his son But rather speaking to him as a friend one-on-one. As you walk in your garden with no property bounds You delight in the peace with the animals & the variety of sounds. But alas that deadly bite they took And the hope of everlasting life forsook. Their once perfect bodies now began to decay And onto their offspring this curse did relay. So the wheels in my head now spin To my inheritance of sin And my determination to overcome The inherent sin to which most succumb. Though the enemies try to fight To bring me down with all their might I know there is a stronger power A refuge & strong tower Into which I'm able to run When my own strength is done Because although we're born from them God's word like a precious gem Promises that to us he will incline Because between our sin & perfection is a fine line. He made us in HIS image out of love Exercising His power from the heights above Instantly displaying His justice when His purpose was diverted In His infinite wisdom knowing His true lovers could not be converted. Promising to us he would restore Conditions of the Earth as they were before Paying with the life of his Son the ultimate price So that all exercising faith could once & always live in Paradise.. © 2012
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Where do you see yourself in a year? Still living here - A tactile skyline atop pillars of smoke Heavy with guilt And the craftsmanship of a generation of men To whom Earth is a rock, immortal Untouched by the bouts of the smog which ascend To hold up their forges? Where that which is green must also be man-made And an old plant-pot On an old window-sill Is the closest to what was here before? Is it a facsimile? Where your throat hurts, Chemicals an ersatz flowing stream Of purest water - And why is rainfall the freshest you can drink? You haven’t always been here. Where were you before? Was it green Or blue, or any other colour Besides this abiding grey? Perhaps There were rainbows and colours And sunlight, unfiltered by smog Or dust. Warm, purposeful. Her fragility charmed you. Because our Earth is not immortal. A wanderer In space, motherly, who are we to defile her? A species of smoke and tar turning her soft hues sour Colours unknown to nature Like a drop of arsenic in a stream flowing through rocks? Do you see yourself living In a fortress, tumultuous to its steel bones Each day burrowing deeper into her body, Claiming her for its own, and ruining her at the same time? So you think about your opportunity. This life which fills her air, pulsing and vibrant, To restore the purity we are missing - Because Human and Nature are as one, Invention is necessary but we are losing our time, Virescent leaves brushing in the wind, Our friends are loving, laughing, living And we realise now that we are able to do so much better. Or does none of that matter, somehow? We make money to spend on plastic. We are born, we work, we breathe, we die, But we are still yet to run out of time So where do you see yourself in a year?
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Nov 8, 2018
Nov 8, 2018 at 4:46 AM UTC
Human Nature
Where do you see yourself in a year? Still living here - A tactile skyline atop pillars of smoke Heavy with guilt And the craftsmanship of a generation of men To whom Earth is a rock, immortal Untouched by the bouts of the smog which ascend To hold up their forges? Where that which is green must also be man-made And an old plant-pot On an old window-sill Is the closest to what was here before? Is it a facsimile? Where your throat hurts, Chemicals an ersatz flowing stream Of purest water - And why is rainfall the freshest you can drink? You haven’t always been here. Where were you before? Was it green Or blue, or any other colour Besides this abiding grey? Perhaps There were rainbows and colours And sunlight, unfiltered by smog Or dust. Warm, purposeful. Her fragility charmed you. Because our Earth is not immortal. A wanderer In space, motherly, who are we to defile her? A species of smoke and tar turning her soft hues sour Colours unknown to nature Like a drop of arsenic in a stream flowing through rocks? Do you see yourself living In a fortress, tumultuous to its steel bones Each day burrowing deeper into her body, Claiming her for its own, and ruining her at the same time? So you think about your opportunity. This life which fills her air, pulsing and vibrant, To restore the purity we are missing - Because Human and Nature are as one, Invention is necessary but we are losing our time, Virescent leaves brushing in the wind, Our friends are loving, laughing, living And we realise now that we are able to do so much better. Or does none of that matter, somehow? We make money to spend on plastic. We are born, we work, we breathe, we die, But we are still yet to run out of time So where do you see yourself in a year?
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