"reopen" poems
Under an unending sky surrounded by flowers from ones own dream,
This is where I'd find rest.
An eternal rest for the dream yet remains endless and the night everlasting.
The world I see, feels so unreal, I wouldn't want to reopen my eyes.
If the possibility, the chance to never waking up when I have gone to find slumber tonight, it would certainly be alright.
A nightmare which is hunting me even whilst I am in full of my consciousness, a hell without rebirth,
The sunlight, simply out of reach, unable for my eyes to engage in it's warming, comforting, sweet grasp anymore, the moon shines bright.
Sound melts into silence, the city loses its colours yet the flowers remain, blooming in elegance, standing proud in the reflection of the sun's light which once again has overshined the twinkling stars.
Even if tomorrow were never to come,
I would not be able to care about it in any way possible.
For now just let me rest my eyes.
~ Umi
Feb 16, 2018
Feb 16, 2018 at 2:33 AM UTC
Never been there.
Can't talk about it much.
I've seen shadows on the wall.
Crying faces down the hall.
I've seen reflections of friends
in the communal toilet while they Puke-TSD.
Can't talk about it much.
It's not a subject I like to touch.
Never been there.
Never talking like I've seen it all.
They have. Ask them what it's like to fall
down and check your face for scrapes
and have other people put band-aids
on your *** ("Oops, my mistake!")
Or better yet, don't.
Don't ask me.
Don't ask them.
They can talk.
I've never been.
If they ask, you can answer with the voice of a friend.
But don't ask. Don't reopen or worse, pen,
their pain and their past. Just listen if they ask.
Have some ******* courtesy till then.
Sep 8, 2015
Sep 8, 2015 at 6:37 PM UTC
For what I know, which is not much,
I know not of what you feel and such,
But if I could be better a brother,
I would ask what makes you shudder,
I know not what causes your pain,
But I know you’ll not be here again,
So in this life, be strong, be strong,
And although I can not carry along,
What I wish I could, I’m not that good,
At expressing all that of which I should,
Know that my love extends to you,
And your indescribable heart imbued,
Keep it between us, I know what it is,
To cause yourself pain, and taste your own tears,
I wish life was easy, alas, it is not,
Lose not yourself, don’t let be forgot,
The life you know, I pray you don't,
I had no idea, of pain you smote,
To it cast out all of the remorse,
And if need, come to me, if no other doors,
Reopen for you although they should,
If need of favor, know that I would,
As brother, as friend, be there until,
Your happy, long life, end fulfilled,
I wish to be an uncle, and brother in law,
To a great man you deserve and more,
Lest it not be pain from a boy,
You are but young, they’ll use you like toys,
Be strong, be strong, our family is love,
Spread your wings, magnificent dove.
Mar 15, 2013
Mar 15, 2013 at 12:12 AM UTC
I appeared that one random day some years ago when the stars were galloping.
since then each step I take picturesque the clip I've been rolling.
I remember that day when mom told me that to live was to encounter a blessing and struggling was the way we inherit a trophy for generations that lived.
I was deceived by the unrealistic heroism of many martyrs who died before me.
in fact, the spotlights were not meant for me as I expected. fate put me far removed from any truth I’ve worshiped.
some days I move in urge and fly very high. I heal my wounds and forgive people who randomly get me to taunt.
some days I scream without words and get drowned in my own nightmares. I drop death thinking of any chance to collect my own mythical strikes.
after all, I still reopen my eyes to a bizarre sight; I wonder if it is the answer to all the prayers I've murmured in my solemn nights
or perhaps it is just the doom I've been daydreaming about all the time.
of the truths spoken and the marks of my barefoot steps, I pledge for an eternal gaiety. And a place of my own kind.
Aug 14, 2022
Aug 14, 2022 at 9:21 AM UTC
If it only were to be a lie,
Watching my dreams end I smile, there's no more to them but a dead end,
Unable to protect this fragile heart, unable to reopen my eyes I was killed,
Brilliance, turning to ash in a firestorm of escaping emotions,
If my birthed sins cannot be atoned in this hour, or at least forgiven,
My shred blood drenched heart will never find it's ease or sublimate, Scattered like the flower petals after falling,
To death, blinded by the love I put my trust and courage in,
Just end it all, what is left for me here is destruction,
My heart is dead, I cannot embrace, love it all as I always wished for,
Everything is far too late, for never I will be able to return again,
Give it back, please give it back, this emotion what makes me go ablaze,
Burnt to the ground with no light to see I remember your smile,
Now, as I am unable to breathe, I hoped if it only wasn't true,
There are no words left to speak.
~Umi
Apr 19, 2018
Apr 19, 2018 at 6:01 PM UTC
Your name is imprinted
in my mouth,
under my tongue and
scraping down my lungs,
your fingertips are finding
holes in my body
that other people have left,
and you have a piece of string
and you're trying to stitch me
back together,
sewing the holes
shut,
kissing my scars that,
if they ever reopen,
and i swear it would be an
accident,
they would bleed your name.
And your nails have left
a mark on my back,
as if by digging in hard enough,
you could make art on a
canvas made of skin
and I don't think you know this,
but, by sewing the holes shut,
you wrapped the broken bones in my
body back up,
I remember when I tried to
glue my bones back together
with glue that never actually
worked, and I never tried
stitching them up like you did.
I like to imagine you made a
row of ribbons along my
ribcage that spell out your name.
And someday, maybe these
broken bones will be fixed,
with cracks along every single
one of them that scream your
name like the air in my lungs
do, and I guess that's okay.
Jul 24, 2014
Jul 24, 2014 at 2:06 AM UTC
I paint my face with tears
because I don't want to wipe them away.
I don't want to vanish my pain
and save it for another day.
I don't want to be known as my pain
but I am my pain.
My pain is the glossy finish
that my tears leave on my face.
My pain is what covers me.
My pain is what you see right through
'cause its clearer than cellophane
What if I don't like the sticky feel my tears leave behind?
What if I don't like the shame my pain brings along?
My pain is the scream into both ears that keeps me up at night.
Its the rush in my arms that makes me stab myself when dark.
Maybe if it wasn't dark you would see the red my eyes show;
crying out to you,
wishing you'll know about the pain that took me.
But when the light shines bright I spread my pain clear
like the armor to protect me,
or more likely it's my shield to hide behind.
But sometimes I shut my eyes
and they forget to reopen
and I just lie there
because maybe I don't want them to.
May 21, 2018
May 21, 2018 at 8:47 PM UTC
He, was in love with her plays
her masquerade
tragedies
shakespearean days
Her fences
Defences
Her armoured-
Sensitives
Her past
her facade
her lovely charm
and, learnt, laugh
The curtains close
the room brightens
But he'll fall in love again
the next night,
when they reopen.
Apr 26, 2014
Apr 26, 2014 at 4:27 AM UTC
*greet
life
pulsing
deep in wounds
when scars reopen raw*
resist reflexive closure
*with unflinching presence
as portal beacons timely truth*
Jun 17, 2013
Jun 17, 2013 at 9:21 PM UTC
Make sure your heart isn't heavy from unrequited love,
Or from love letters with "return to sender" staining the front in dark, black ink over your own meticulously crafted words.
Make sure your heart isn't heavy from holding onto lost causes,
And too full from tears and whispered curses when you're holding yourself at 2 am.
Make sure your heart isn't heavy when you lose someone else's,
Or when you see them walking down the street hand in and hand with another and you might just hold your own so that you don't feel too lonesome.
Make sure your heart isn't heavy with the weight of the world
And everything you've ever felt too strongly about.
Make sure your heart isn't heavy with regret or hatred
Towards anyone who did you wrong and left you heavy hearted in the first place.
Make sure your heart isn't heavy-
It'll weigh you down to the notion that you can't reopen it once the incisions have healed.
Make sure your heart isn't so heavy
That you fall to it's weight and forget what it means to be light.
Make sure your heart isn't heavy-
It'll lift you in more ways than one.
Apr 23, 2014
Apr 23, 2014 at 2:34 AM UTC
Moonlight dancing at the top of the hills
Throught the trees the light spills
Long black dress, sleek and shimmering
Trails behind me , green eyes luminescent in the night
My hair long in swirls down my back
Hand to bark
Breath to the chill of the air
I can feel it
I was here
In another demension
One that I traveled to
I came here , I just wanted to see you
Bare feet intertwined with the grass
I dance
Dance with the silence
Dance to my heartbeat
Dance to my breathing
Hands raised to touch the sky
Dark in its slumber
Close my green eyes
And picture a wolf
Black to match the night
And a star , of white placed
Between my green eyes
And when I reopen them
I stand on four paws
I feel free in my new skin
Tall in my new fur
And I run to the song of my paws
A howl above another
Alpha to this lone wolf pack
Into the distance I'm enveloped by
Dreams crescent arms
Nov 2, 2012
Nov 2, 2012 at 7:48 AM UTC
There must be madness swirling inside me
My stomach aches
A sickly urge in the back of my throat
I imagine it whirls around in my blood
Surging through my body like morphine
It spreads to my hands at first
A tremble of my fingers slipping glass from my hold
It glitters before my eyes
i feel it travel to my forearms creeping up into my biceps
Scars reopen and red spills
My fingers now coated in crimson
Then it's clogged my chest all to fast
It's getting harder to breathe but still my lungs fill with air
Heart squeezing, ribs popping out of place
Yet my body stays the same
From there it splits in two ways
One drips down into my stomach
then pooling in my feet and weighing me down
The other creeps up my neck
Taking the oxygen from my head
It starts to spill out my eyes
In tears of panic
And i remember the ways to stay sane
None of them work now
Nothing is working now
Mar 4, 2022
Mar 4, 2022 at 10:02 AM UTC
I’ve got Nike shoe-boxes filled
with newspaper confetti basketball highlights,
a Lucky Charms cereal prize, a hair clip
from the Homecoming dance, picture after picture
of little month-long memories. I’ve got a dozen
temporary candy box boyfriends
who faded just as quickly as they sparked. I’ll reopen
them occasionally, remind myself why my middle school mind
found it so important to save stale Valentine’s Day lollipops
and balance that with the tender, childish idea
that baby love is the realest love and maybe one day
all those text message breakups would come back to me.
I sort
through each dent my heart has suffered that I stowed away
in compartments, but you,
who’ve seen me through the longest,
have no place under my bed. I’ve got nothing
visible to hold of you because truth be told
you’re only my friend if the lights are out and the door is shut.
I have no pop song sweatshirt that still smells like you,
no cliché letters I’ve soaked with tears, no movie tickets,
no dinner matches or menus or pictures that I could cut
if I hated you enough.
I’d have to collect your sweat in a vile and brew it
into a perfume just so the smell could give me something
disgusting enough to feel when I remember you.
If only I could capture my nightmares, remake the images,
mold your body out of actual clay and light you up
without having to kiss your pelvis. We’ve made a mess of this.
You’re just a flame I forgot to blow out.
You're just a name I left hanging on my mouth.
Jan 9, 2015
Jan 9, 2015 at 12:12 AM UTC
I know you’re
waiting for my text
to reopen our
paradise door.
And if I do,
you know i’ll sink deeper,
stuck in love,
with your soul more.
Apr 6, 2022
Apr 6, 2022 at 10:04 PM UTC
I either care too much
Or I don't care enough
It's like I'm playing a never ending
Tug of war against myself
Too much pushing and pulling
Wondering and waiting
Is it worth the time
Or am I going insane yet?
And even after taking steps back
To see things more clearly
My perspective remains the same
And the image is blurry
I can't decide what's right
And I'm running out of time
To finally make up
My ever changing mind
Drop the mask and façade
I need to see the truth
What is actually there?
What is actually you?
And what have you done
To try to make me stay
Even when it seems
Like I'm pushing you away
I miss the way it used to be
When you actually tried
Now I'm falling for you harder
And I'm scarring my pride
But what is actually hurt
Isn't the fact that you're fading
But the fact that I was wrong
When I thought I could change it
And maybe after this
I'll finally learn
How to point out the liars
Before I get hurt
But mistakes are inevitable
Even for me
I'm not the perfect person
I wish I could be
But I'll remember the past
When I'm living every day
I won't let people trick me
Won't listen when they say
That they can give me the world
But they have their fingers crossed
Because I can't lose my head
Or ever get lost
For the fear of unreturned love
Is something to hate
Because it's bound to happen sometime
Despite your effort to delay it
And well the seasons change
And memories fade
But the lesson will always
Remain the same
You'll have to face lies
Disappointment and heartbreak
But hold onto yourself
It's the only thing you'll take
Because most everything eventually
Crumbles and falls
But if you're still there
Standing up tall
You'll be able to start over
Get a fresh start
To reopen the wounds
You've sealed on your heart
Feb 3, 2014
Feb 3, 2014 at 7:01 PM UTC
Just outside Toronto,
we'll work coffee shops and gigs
and make this what we want to.
No longer do I hide
behind apathy and equations
that make no sense.
Here and now I have you
after I've waited so long
to make you mine.
Our adventures across the lands
searching for ethnic flavours
will forever dance throughout my brain.
Your arms wrapped around my waist
and your kisses on my lips
will help bury my demons.
Your illnesses will fade away
so much quicker than before.
Now I'm here playing with the puzzle called your heart
in the conscious effort to put you together as you should be
because someone foolishly played the gambler and felt your heart was worth the bet.
Once you claimed you were upset
not suicidal
but still I worried.
My heart was in your hands
and the melancholy thought of losing you
made minimal scars reopen.
Now, just outside Toronto
we work coffee shops and gigs,
making it what we want to.
With the things we always dreamed to have
and the love that no one else will ever understand.
We'll be bitter together, burn the world together as once we decided we would
because the thought once was so intoxicating that we became lustful for it,
and made the choice to create what we wanted, in Toronto, working coffee shops and gigs.
Feb 3, 2014
Feb 3, 2014 at 9:52 PM UTC
I find myself in that familiar place
where wounds reopen
and the feeling of danger
beckons to race
Old scars wanting to tear apart
like a stray bullet to the heart
Old habits emerge so mindless
despite being met with kindness
I question if I've really healed
If these years have anything to yield
Uncomfortable is how I've felt
Do I peek at this hand that is dealt
I'm at a crossroad of old and new
Simply locked scared at what to do
Yet I know I will choose you
I will always wear my heart on my sleeve
No matter the times it's torn away
In the work I've done I believe
Will keep you beside me day by day
This 'uncomfortable' is my test
Trust me that you'll get my best
My work will not be undone
because what we have has just begun
Jul 15, 2023
Jul 15, 2023 at 1:15 AM UTC
This canvas so pale,
is so frail and so jailed,
inside a mind that screams
and wails.
The canvas is perfect,
besides old scars,
that I choose to reopen
and enjoy the stars;
that I feel in my head
when the canvas turns red,
such a stark contrast
between living and dead.
I don't know why I can't stop slicing,
I need the rush to feel okay.
I don't know why the rush keeps climbing,
I need it more every day.
*Shining scarlet kisses...
who am I to keep them away?*
Oct 23, 2012
Oct 23, 2012 at 10:28 AM UTC
I watched her write Love on her arms
it flowed like lava as the meaning was felt
ripples of hardened flesh
with hot plasma and her cooling kiss
scratch that one off the bucket list
(codetta)
To tattoo love on my lids
finding you between the highs and mids
when the lights go off you are there
then you reappear
in the strobe and LED atmosphere
All I can do is wish... you were here too
unravel the shutters of my soul (segno)
to embrace you in a place more real
animate my memories to simulate surreal
stimulate thoughts my body can not feel
till my lids reopen to reveal a deck
used to project a black massif sunset
platters pressed with disco tech
soluvum's spun to some rung of heaven
I's reflect; eyes ***** to mirror mystery
celadon mandela murals and memory
a nebula of history (fine)
When eyes see you come (:l)
Below the surface afraid you'll run
yet steady marching to a heart shaped drum
echoing the song of the lord god capon
we've gone deaf to the celebration
Eyes close when kissing to lock in what's missing
maybe to hear the rush of blood hissing
maybe to capture the sound of oceans shifting
maybe to feel the steady rise of hills below our feat
maybe that's why we hum synchronizing our meditation
Maybe to become one symbols like wedding bell vibration
(dc al fine)
Apr 5, 2016
Apr 5, 2016 at 8:34 PM UTC
Hey this is your Baby Dino speaking loud and clear
Don't fear my dear what may be scary now, because soon your vision will clear
Wipe away those tears, I don't want to see them, I promised a great year
Remember New Years, I said I'd adhere to us and I was being sincere
If I'm unclear, close your eyes and reopen them, I'm still here
Unlike Houdini I will not disappear. So turn that frown upside down and replace it with cheer
Listen close as I whisper in your ear, we're in this together like two atoms that cohere
I know that I'm not as cute as others but steer cause your hands are on the shift gear and if I'm mistreated it will be severe
My heart races rapidly like an auctioneer and I don't want to interfere
We're aeronautical engineers concerned that our place might not be able to fly
The Wright brothers didn't give up on their first design
Patience. Wait in line at a decline but we will be fine
We may crash but our fingers will be intertwined always coming out on cloud nine
Our story has a crazy plot line and you're not the supporting role, climbing up the vine
I'll be on the front line to take the damage and don't shake your head at me because the bull is MY sign
I may be hot but bring out the red cape and I'll be hot headed leaving nothing left but the enemies chalk line
Bottom line is that I'll always have your back so you might as well recline
We say not to cross lines but in order to finish the race you have to get through it
The radical sign is in front of our problems so we need to get to the root of them this time
Apart we are two pieces but together a beautiful design
Nov 21, 2013
Nov 21, 2013 at 7:51 PM UTC
I don't want to reopen my old wounds
But it’s just the only thing I have left to do
There's nothing more to be said about me
Except for a condolence or a passing apology
Picking at the ***** scars, hoping for an infection
Hoping the festering bacteria would spread through
Hoping for sensation, or something maybe close
Hoping that these old wounds would feel brand new
I’m already too numb to ask for more medication
Already too debilitated to beg for a final miracle cure
I’m already too sick, far too late to try on and on
Already at the brink of extinction to still feel unsure
I’m opening old wounds, bleeding them out to dry
Doing everything they all told me not to do, only left out to die
There’s nothing more to be done, no band-aid left to rip
These old wounds seem useless when there’s nothing left in me to fix.
Mar 7, 2021
Mar 7, 2021 at 3:52 AM UTC
It's an irritating itch that I cannot reach.
A nightmare that replays over and over.
This undying urge to search for love.
Addicted to the high that comes with new and possible forever,
Constantly looking under every rock, afraid that it has already passed me by.
Blind to warnings, lies or danger.
Seeking comfort, affection, admiration from a stranger.
Obsessed with this ideal, this fairy tale that becomes a drug.
Drunk off the thoughts, the memories of a love.
Drowning in solitude, I gasp for the sweet air only he can give.
Always wearing my heart and every emotion on my sleeve.
Exposed, Naked in a crowd.
So many scars cover what's left of my soul.
They bleed and reopen, still I seek something to fill this whole.
Screaming at the top of my lungs but no one around to hear.
Never truly finding it is my greatest and only fear.
Jul 28, 2013
Jul 28, 2013 at 11:08 AM UTC
There will come a day when the pain will stop
And it will not be the day I die
It will come from a different source
Some place holy
Some place beautiful
Some place like the corners of your smile
Where I can hide away from my fears
And feel normal
In the Blue-green hue of your eyes
And the gentle flow of your hair between my fingers
I could stay there forever
Without worry
Or sorrow
The tap of your fingers on your pencil
Quake through my mind
Sending fissures through my heart
You’ve changed the landscape of my body
Goose bumps rise like mountains from the earth
When words fall from your lips
Into my soul
The voices in my head are quite around you,
And no one else.
But you didn’t feel the same
At first,
I thought things would be different this time
I’d be able to keep you
But I should’ve known
You were too good to be true
I’d never deserve you
You were absolute perfection
I fell for you at an accelerated velocity
It shouldn’t have happened
I had put up so many walls
Around my dying, broken heart
And you found a way in
You learned my secrets
You learned me
I told you all the ways that I had been broken
And you wanted to fix them
But all you did was reopen the cracks in my soul
I was torn to bits
My razors were no longer retired
The pills began to scream again.
You’ll never see the scars
Carving your name into my skin
I don’t want to burden you with the thoughts
That you were the cause of both
My joy
And distress
My hopes
And my relapse
You’ve changed me more than you will ever know
I almost wish we had never met
But then I would have never know true beauty
Or learned of how the sunrise
Mirrors the setting of a moon.
Looking back,
I wouldn’t change a thing
You came into my life for a reason
You may have taught me some lesson
That I have yet to realize
But I will soon understand
And for that,
I thank you.
For the pain,
The relief,
The yearning,
The realizations.
You are the worst,
Most beautiful thing,
That has ever come into my life.
You are an unknowing tormenter of my heart
You broke me,
Without even realizing it
I now hide behind the mask of a forced smile
And an insincere laugh
I put on a façade of happiness
For you
So that you will never know what you did to me
I will not taint your optimism
Know that you are a helper
And not a harmer
You have stopped the blade
More than you have ran it through my veins
You are someone that creates
Not destroys
I’m sorry for making you into a monster
And pillager of my hope.
When all I wanted
Was to make myself safe
In the corners of your smile.
Aug 12, 2018
Aug 12, 2018 at 9:37 PM UTC