"refracts" poems
The last king
will not be a king. The bit player,
Beggar nor Thief. as the pastor,
Actor plays lawyer. as lawyer acting.
The slave as the master.
Light refracts fantastic,
performs bombastic
preaching in the pulpit
Oct 4, 2012
Oct 4, 2012 at 1:12 AM UTC
Of immaterial vision birthed in mind.
Of spirit annihilating the selves,
of calling it plan. The one-
a semblance scattered on deck space
refracts on reflections of the reactions of tokens
of the carnivalesque,
of the hunger artists,
of phenomenon-
which may or may not exist depending on reflective surface of the true self,
of the motion of tides,
mocks motion in body,
of obsession.
The tonality of the "be" and the "is" and the "will be" is deafened by the "I am,"
by the Ohm.
Of shuddering and implanting embraces,
of blessing on every ember of cleanliness that is true self,
of the oneself that exists above selective memory,
not draft of time arrow but the material existence of dream,
not disembodied but embodied.
Of breeding,
of circumstance and forking fourth dimension prison terms,
of crowd control,
of she wolves and their feral children,
of forceps interpolating material reality of conception,
of Dreamtime,
of pain,
of pleasure,
where they are relations-
of skin perversely hanging, dually,
gratifying and sullying-
Fraying beautiful disasters that react to invisible ripples
I, the oneself, implore you to awaken in your utility and then outside of it.
Take those boot straps and bend the bars of confinement with them.
Chisel and sculpt light into a fabrication of quantum of action.
Celebrate the ordinary and expose it.
Of stargazed caustics,
of the early universe.
I stand awake as not the expression of design
and no longer connected to Earth by my roots
but awake inside cocoon,
entrapped behind slits,
of alien cage otherness.
The Akh beseeches ownership of the Ba
I want play dice with god and end in draw.
I am Sekhmet-Wadjet who dwells in the west of heaven,
I am Sahyt among the souls of Of.
Oct 4, 2012
Oct 4, 2012 at 1:29 AM UTC
The Story begins with silence and black out, a void. Not darkness. Nor anything that attempts to define nothingness, because it’s nothing. The blackness or void is only a metaphor representing nothing. Within this point, so close to simultaneous you’d think they were one in the same, a light emerges, emanating divine, pure energy and love. Its intelligence and complexity expands and fills what was once nothing with beauty and truth. At this moment, all is whole, fast as thought, strong beyond comprehension, gentle as a whisper and furious beyond all flame. The wild spirit of happiness is real and alive! The void was never the enemy, only a point in which to be born. Duality can only exist if unification finds an enemy within itself. The enemy is reflected by the segregation and space created between divine and mortal. This space is developed by Ego.
This entity “Ego” is the essence of self resistance, absorption, chaos, consciousness…hate. The inner antagonist rises and begins to cut and eliminate the threads attached to creation and spirit. A mirror that envelopes and contains the living spirit. An orb caging vulnerable souls spread throughout the expansion of life and suffocating energetic flow. The universe and it’s creatures that lost connection being virtually incapable of seeing one another ever again while the enemy exists.
The instigation is tolerated by those who always continue the journey. The emasculation of Ego, commences as the divine resonates it’s vibration as a weapon like a solar flare, piercing the Ego. Then the inner spirit begins to open up and claw its way out. The Spirit sees that vanity is leading the despair of self pity into the heart as it remains a vessel dwelling in a false world channeling a false force. This awareness makes The Spirit lifts up, against and out of a matrix constructed within the crystal ball cage that refracts the true sun’s rays. Together, The Spirit and The Divine begin to crush Ego. Ego begins to flatten, compress and then combust. Through the flames the chord of love between The Divine and The Spirit bursts like a shooting star towards the kinship’s re-established nexus. The collision creates what was pure and full in circulation again and the expansion becomes an infinite motion harmonizing with the void in an adventure that goes on forever. When Ego tries to slither back in after a nearly insurmountable time of hiding between the gaps that contains new life, it is given no room by anything in thought, theory, in any form of existence.
Nov 8, 2012
Nov 8, 2012 at 7:40 PM UTC
And me i wait down the weight,
of the past
by leaving my plate,
Untouched.
Instead i devour the self hate,
And compensate
for the thoughts in my head.
By pacing along a path,
that'll only lead to my death bed.
But me,
I already died inside,
Many years ago.
And my heart it may slow,
But it does not show my ability to swallow
Mouthfuls of regret at time.
And me,
I combine,
Thought and feelings,
With actions,
I have no sense of attraction,
When i stare at my reflection
That screams rejection,
And i pull out a fraction
of the person i used to be.
Because me
I am 100 pounds too heavy,
80 pounds to heavy,
Every single pound too heavy.
And this weight loss is steady,
And these burdens i carry,
With this thinking that refracts me
Prevents me the ability,
To see any positive trait, or quality,
I drown in a sea,
Of unforgivable mistakes,
I break, crack, smash
Into a thousand pieces.
And you,
You try to iron out the creases,
With therapy and weight gain,
And to you,
I am a piece of paper with a name,
And my tiny frame encompasses
Years of self blame,
Disdain.
And me,
I slip through the cracks in the earth,
As i claw and clasp for an inch of
Self worth.
I try to ride and surf
This tide,
But the feelings inside,
The thoughts in my mind,
Do not allow me to find
Acceptance anywhere.
And me i exhale rotten air,
As i stare at my past,
And i try not to feel,
But this pain is so real,
So me, i skip a meal
And refuse the next,
I filter through the net,
Stomach regret,
And maybe one day yet,
Ill be ready for freedom,
Excited and apprehensive about the person,
I have the potential to become.
But for now,
My meal is undone.
And me,
I run
in fear,
There is no life here,
No beauty near.
And the sheer idea,
That maybe,
Just maybe
A number shouldn't dictate my self worth.
Shouldn't cause me to hurt, myself
That i am worth more,
The idea of closing the door,
Too much to bare.
So in silence I'll stare,
I'll restrict and starve,
And lose my hair,
And don't tell me I don't care,
Because it'd be impossible
For me to care any more,
But can't you see
There's a fire inside of me
And Im burning at the core.
And i guess that makes me a coward, a quitter,
But i can't see anyway fitter,
And it tastes so bitter
Chewing on the past,
And the taste it lingers
And fills up my glass.
But until you've walked in my ever shrinking shoes,
Do not judge me,
Or the choices i chose,
Do not question the freedom i lose,
This body i abuse.
Do not remind me
Of the sanity i could find
For you have no clue
Of the hurricanes
That run wild within my mind.
May 25, 2014
May 25, 2014 at 6:07 AM UTC
alone on a frozen lake, submerged in layers of ubiquitous noise.
Not paradoxical silence brimming with gentle hum but the eerie crack of fragile bones.
Last breath before drowning
in the stinging air
slight gasp and pulling apart of frozen lips
the fractured light fades beyond frosted periwinkle.
Ice laced with opalescent dust absorbing everything
Except a numbed persimmon sun dangling on the precipice,
A losing battle.
crystalline ring of disturbed snow refracts a thousand times too late while
Clean pungent smoke rising above the horizon melts air and earth into an infinite line.
Dec 29, 2016
Dec 29, 2016 at 7:17 PM UTC
I look at the fairy,
And think to myself,
"I cannot comprehend how much love she pours into something.
I cannot fathom creating constellations to help her surmount her obstacles,
For she has created her own to guide her."
And here I am, sitting under an olive tree,
Watching her twirl and slip through the flimsy canopy of the forest.
Sorry Hercules, Cerberus has already been slain.
Not by us; but by her own magical knight in shining armour.
It's strange how jealous I am,
Yet I feel no envy or regret.
Okay, maybe a slight fragment of regret;
But don't worry pal, Cerberus won't be emerging from my dark depths.
It's almost like she refracts the stars' rays and creates her own iridescence.
Such a spectacular sight.
That I cannot caress nor look at for too long,
I may go blind.
And apparently love is blind.
The irony.
Well, no matter; I can still relax here on the soil,
And remain calm for she isn't going anywhere.
Right?
May 1, 2013
May 1, 2013 at 1:31 AM UTC
When something snaps
The ****** all bolt
Dogs out the traps
We all collapse
Down the plughole
Like turned on taps
Jaded expats
Bourbon, poker
All throw craps
Black top hats
Line the road
Like mourning bats
Marital spats
Crystal prisms
Where love refracts
Wear navy slacks
Stare out to sea
As mars attacks
Nightmares hide facts
Flattened like focaccia
Under fifteen all-blacks
Fuss over Goldman sachs
You know we only blink
When it's the shirt on our backs
Jan 31, 2012
Jan 31, 2012 at 5:12 AM UTC
*children gaze
and light tenderly refracts to the image
children smile
and time relinquishes its dimension
children speak
and air becomes oxygen enriched
children laugh
and matter matters not
children paint
and elements fuse
children dance
and life flows*
Jun 13, 2014
Jun 13, 2014 at 11:58 AM UTC
"Lost in time, and lost in space, and meaning."
In the deepest damp trenches,
frigid air freezing jaded breath,
in clouds of caricature.
Where the lines blur
between mind palaces
and the lonely depths of outer space.
Where the wolf longs for forbidden paramour--
the moon.
Dented and worn,
battered, weak force,
caressing sweet dewdrops
that sear fevered flesh.
In these pits
Chronos sleeps,
light bends and refracts.
Whispers dance on bleeding tongues--
What is life to the leaves and grass?
Have the birds no concept
of solitude of the mind?
Not even Helios at his sharpest
could blanket the edges and hone warming craft,
to slip behind barred doors.
How frail one must be,
to seek the hollows of the earth--
to bow down to Erebus, to kiss his feet.
Lost in meaning,
and fumbling clarity.
Oct 29, 2013
Oct 29, 2013 at 1:23 AM UTC
She who is the agent of chaos
Knows not why she does dance
Shyly she poised on her tiptoes, bare
When I saw her just by chance
She, my Shiva dances atop the highest of the Himalayas
Humming and hoping I watch alone from below
And I wonder - how does the dust feel betwixt her toes?
How does this earth resist from swallowing her whole?
***** a compass, she traces to encompass
A circumference within which she does reside
There, she spins, twirls, pirouettes a vortex
And the dust obscures her from my salacious sight
But I can still hear her
Blinded by the grit and deafened by the gale
I hopelessly follow the sounds of her anklet bells
But to scale these peaks with my bare hands, I slip, I fail
And fall forever into her infinite fractal spells
A feather, I drift towards her fictional siren calls
Travelling through echoes of silence and spectre
She punctuates her poses in the shape of question marks
Interrogating me, when she knows I cannot help but surrender
Who are you I ask, my agent of chaos?
Mute and vengeful she turns to strike like a cobra
With one blow she breaks her own spell
And refracts her remnants from fractal to mirror
She who is the agent of chaos
Danced a waltz upon my throat
Speechless and breathless I was rendered lame
But he knew it’s really all the same
Aug 3, 2012
Aug 3, 2012 at 6:11 PM UTC
Her hair spills starlight, raw as unbaked bread—
Each strand a comet’s trail my lips pursue.
No thread divides our skin, risen on breath;
Hips hide her crescent moon, eclipse the blue.
The mirror drinks us whole—no blind, no hidden clues—
our doubled forms a psalm of breath and flame.
Sound of skin on skin, a tide, laps where desires subdue;
Your fingers chart the pulse-light, vane by vane.
No shadow lives where tongues chase the day—
her wetness, a prism, splits what dark ignites.
The air grows thick, our love scent we can’t unsay—
Each gasp refracts to hues where her desires lie, night.
Your eyes—black pools where all my shadows drown—
we fuse to one eclipse, no dusk, no dawn.
Feb 3, 2025
Feb 3, 2025 at 5:38 PM UTC
Fire burns in passion untold
Ice reflects and refracts in the cold
And it must be said:
Please watch your head
Their burns can scar you 'till you're old
Apr 9, 2017
Apr 9, 2017 at 8:12 PM UTC
I think of you, friend,
as I make my way to Baltimore,
awake and aware of the
stillness in the backseat.
Used to be at least three
of us, sleepless and ******
never alone except when we slept.
I think of you when the
sunlight finally hits my windshield
and refracts into rainbows
all over the dashboard.
I've always hated mornings,
but this one is calm and beautiful
and I can't wait to reach the shore.
I think of you once more
while I'm sitting on the docks
tossing rocks into the Patapsco,
watching the gulls go sleepily overhead. I dread the drive back home. But I'll be thinking of you
when I hit the highway laughing at
something you said when you were
alive.
Jun 30, 2017
Jun 30, 2017 at 6:57 PM UTC
Satori is a word that originates from Japan. It literally translates as 'awakening' and is used to describe a moment of 'sudden enlightenment'.
To attempt to understand this as an experience, try this:
Imagine your mind as being a glass prism situated behind your eyes.. It breaks up reality in a similar way to how a glass prism refracts light.
What goes in is pure and whole, but what comes out is broken and fractured. When the mind is active, what is received by the eyes is broken up into tiny little manageable pieces of information. Then for convenience, it will discard anything that it considers to be irrelevant, or 'not fitting' [what you already believe to be true].. Then your body will react according to that particular interpretation of reality. That's not to say the mind is bad or wrong, only that the mind does not see Truth, but only what it allows to be true..
When the mind falls silent the prism is removed, and you become just like a mirror. Light goes in through the eyes and your being will directly reflect what is being received.
See if you can catch the next time your mind goes silent. Be aware of the stillness it brings. Notice that the mind will want to judge it or describe it. If thoughts come, acknowledge them and let them be on their way. Just watch them. Treat them in a manner similar to watching clouds float through the sky. Stay with this feeling and remember it well.
For in that moment, all will be revealed.
Apr 15, 2015
Apr 15, 2015 at 3:29 PM UTC
Some faded curtain sways in a phantom breeze
and air swells in the old duct behind the bed
Cowboy Junkies play
Salted meat stench, tobacco and zest linger
The misted road on the outside
refracts moonlight through a crack
it's all too disjointed
but also clear, all so clear
The cliched call from anonymous houses, screaming; drunken screaming
I t ' s F r i d a y n i g h t
You're invited
The notion enters in eerie silences
and wood-frames creak
and the curtains still dance
and green leaves look black in that middle point between the lamp posts
and a stray car buzzes along a sultry surface; it is the moth, brazen in search of light
and who are we, if not moths in search of light?
Can you hear that ocean swell
or do you roar in unison too
Would you change as the weather
and embrace everything
everybody
and life
to reach transcendence
Jan 10, 2014
Jan 10, 2014 at 8:38 PM UTC
Certain things about people
Make us want to keep them around
The first thing for me is the sound
Of your voice
I know you’ve
Walked on some coals from hell
You never want to go back
I walked there without my shoes
Your closet is like a rainbow,
just bent a little different
You’re the light source and
The light refracts through you
From your all-back Vans to your
Double beaded pearl hair band
You’re the collection of beautiful and comfortable
That the world has searched for
I know I can trust you with
The secrets of my life
Because even if you file them way
It’ll be organized and clean
When we invest ourselves into something
That offers no retribution
We’re already set up for failure
Aren't we idiots!
It’s been ten years since the stain glass window
I loved to look through
Shattered in front of me
The cuts go deeper than flesh and bones
Mar 1, 2013
Mar 1, 2013 at 1:53 PM UTC
The light breaks in past a bamboo vine
and refracts into marvellous blue.
The air stands as still as the sun shines,
while the birds chirp their favourite tune.
I float to the top of the path and I sit,
carried by freshwater currents.
With air in my veins, I breathe in
and forget each, every one of my troubles.
My eyelids close like petals
moved on by the breeze.
I feel the light warm on my face;
although, I cannot see it.
May 22, 2018
May 22, 2018 at 2:11 AM UTC
When I looked into the crystal ball
hoping to see my future
I saw only my face, twisted and swirled out of proportion.
And at first I thought maybe it's not the right kind of crystal
or maybe there is no way to see the future
but then I thought maybe there is.
Maybe I did see the future.
And I'm just too scared to realize it.
Last night,
I lost myself.
I became twisted and swirled.
As the smoke came out of my lungs so did my convictions.
As the hash burned gently in the hookah
the snow fell gently from the sky.
As the laughter poured heavily from our hearts,
the general disbelief fell heavily from our heads.
And as I looked into the crystal ball,
I laughed.
I knew the ball was really like water,
always changing, always shifting.
And just like water, it refracts light in strange ways.
Feb 8, 2013
Feb 8, 2013 at 10:26 PM UTC
Battered boots
Old torn tights
The way she moves
She refracts the light
She will crawl inside you
Barely five foot in height
Smile dripping in sarcasm
A rainbow child of the night
She smells faintly of cigarettes
And someone you know
A halo of dark hair
Secured with a bow
She watches and waits
For a heart filled with woe
She cheers whilst she jeers
My twisted gasoline rainbow
Feb 5, 2014
Feb 5, 2014 at 5:50 PM UTC
You became my sun.
So easily and quickly.
You’ve always been one to light up a room,
And when this started up again,
My heart was empty space.
But even before I saw you again
You were so intense
Even if only in your mystery.
Mystery…that sounds more like the moon.
But I always kind of imagined myself as a moon
More in the background,
Coming out to play once those who shone had gone to bed,
Changing faces throughout the phases
Never able to decide who I was
Only sometimes disappearing.
The moon – always perceived as cooler and calmer,
An esoteric symbol of reflection and transition,
In a constant competition with the sun,
But with you I have changed.
You tell me I am sassier than sassafras,
An unambiguous product of the land,
And that I keep you grounded.
Does that make me your earth, my love?
Benefitting from your warmth,
You melted my ice caps when I was numb to the core.
Growing from your glow,
Your light refracts,
Illuminating,
You brought to life the parts of me that were forgotten,
Allowing the caged soul to sing.
No matter how I stand, I can feel your presence,
Even when you’re far away,
Enveloping me, encouraging me
Your heat preserved in my atmosphere,
My very aura.
With you, I have become my best self.
The attraction is tangible,
Me pulled towards you, you pulled towards me,
An everlasting orbit,
A never-ending dance.
One without the other,
Just doesn’t make sense.
You are my sun.
I might be your ground.
In any galaxy,
Any universe,
I’d want you around.
It’s funny,
How meeting someone new,
Can redefine a concept
You thought you knew.
Jun 6, 2015
Jun 6, 2015 at 9:06 PM UTC
Ears pop as the pressure builds above your head
It's quiet down here
silence surrounds you as you willingly
sink
into the darkening depths
small flashes of light you see down below
glints of teeth and scales
a flicker of a gargantuan tail
It's darker than anything else
above you light refracts into the water
the light has no eyes
it cannot see
and soon you will not see either
holding off the final breath
but you know it's inevitable
dare you?
breathe
sink
dark
Apr 28, 2014
Apr 28, 2014 at 11:27 AM UTC
I wonder—
Have you ever taken the time to notice,
how Summer's sun can clear gunmetal skies,
or how it refracts off the water
of a somber heaven—
Filling the darkness behind your eyes?
I wonder—
Have you ever taken the time to notice,
how when Spring's roses begin to blossom
the wind carries love's scent through the air
or how it effortlessly enraptures—
permeating beauty
from within the pigment of it's petals?
I wonder—
have you ever taken the time to notice,
how the cycle of Autumn's leaves remain parallel
to the frailty of the living
or how the perpetuity of their purpose
is either known of and ignored or understood and accepted?
I wonder—
Have you ever taken the time to notice
how the Winter's deep freeze
blankets and preserves the earth beneath our feet
To walk upon in new years to come,
Or how it brings forth the warmth of family's serenity?
Jan 4, 2016
Jan 4, 2016 at 9:44 PM UTC
I see you there, impatiently disdaing my arrival
Turning head from side to side
Your eyes relentless, open wide
It’s funny that you've only ever seen me as a rival
For we’re much the same, both you and I
We sometimes laugh, and often cry
Lost somewhere within the everything you've never done
Lies the essence of a memory
Of all we were and all we’d be
How did you so blindly miss the nothing you’d become
Every time that you abandoned me
Exchanging freedom for a key
With every time you lied to me
Convinced that I am but a fool
Another link in slavery’s chain
To keep yourself bound further
Than you ever thought you’d go against the grain
But still you sit and wait for me
The one you hate, but hope you’ll see
So you can blame me once again
To make yourself feel better
You spit me out so tastelessly
Each time you sink your teeth in me
And here…you’d have me once again!
Such truth in every letter
This message that I write for you
Will never quite sink into you
For you can only see it
From your dark side of this glass
This message that I send to you
Refracts within your thoughts of gloom
You place the blame, not own it
As each sentence comes to pass
Each time you see the truth in me
You twist it into such a tool
To harvest every ounce of pain
Continuing to ******
Every broken piece of mind that peace would claim
You’re winning
I’m losing
I’m just your reflection
Hair thinning
Confusing
Such lack of attention
Refusing
Demanding
I’ll show you the end
Exhuming
Disbanding
Such lies you defend
Revealing
Ignored
Still held in contempt
Repealing
Abhorred
Yet you make no attempt
You glare at me with such hatred…
When I’m only what you've allowed yourself to become
May 1, 2014
May 1, 2014 at 10:19 PM UTC