Spry, wry, and gray as these March sticks,
Percy bows, in his blue peajacket, among the narcissi.
He is recuperating from something on the lung.

The narcissi, too, are bowing to some big thing :
It rattles their stars on the green hill where Percy
Nurses the hardship of his stitches, and walks and walks.

There is a dignity to this; there is a formality --
The flowers vivid as bandages, and the man mending.
They bow and stand : they suffer such attacks!

And the octogenarian loves the little flocks.
He is quite blue; the terrible wind tries his breathing.
The narcissi look up like children, quickly and whitely.

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... for not being on site as much as I probably should be. Some of you may know I have been going through some very difficult times. I do not write about these to elicit sympathy. I only want understanding and compassion. Thank you for reading this entire post.

My father was recuperating well, but it's now flagging in his resolve to live. He has almost entirely lost his hearing. He's losing his eyesight. And now he cannot talk. He had to have a trach put in because his vocal cords were frozen and he couldn't breathe. He requires 24-hour care. He cannot return to the high-functioning home where he was staying before. He will now have to go into a nursing home.

It is very hard to witness this. He is a survivor of the battle of Okinawa. He is a survivor of stage 3 throat cancer. Chemotherapy and radiation treatment at the age of 85. He is now 92. I just don't know if he can survive this. I just need to remember he lived a long rich life.

The biggest problem I'm having is that I know my father is not prepared for eternity. He refuses to even discuss the concept of God. He's always been an Atheist. He is a chemist. A scientist. And he was hurt very badly by religion when he was growing up. I have sown seeds, though. Perhaps the Lord will come to him in a dream or vision. I just don't know...

No matter what happens I am prepared. It is just very difficult, and I cannot concentrate very well. Also I and spending a lot more time in my spiritual practices, so please forgive me if I'm not on the site as much as I could be. It does not mean I don't love you... there are people that are on this site who I pray for on a daily basis. I blanket this site with prayer. There are some who might not believe in the power of this, but I have seen miracles happen right here on this site. A young man was cured of malaria just a couple of weeks ago. Prayer is the most loving and powerful thing anyone can do for another person.
I DO IT FOR YOU ALL.

Thank you for reading.

♡ Catherine

Trauma Center

Smoke
Liquid on the ground
My head spinning
"Are you ok", I hear her asking
"I'm an EMT"
I hear a male say
"Hold on don't close your eyes, help is coming"
Then what appeared to be the longest wait reaches an end
I hear a man almost ripping out the door from my new red car (doesn't matter it's just a car)
Finally with a neck brace and on a stretcher
Flashing lights and sirens screaming
It hit me
I can't move and my abdomen feels like I got punched a million times
I can feel someone cutting through my pants
My knees where bleeding
"Where your pants torn before the impact?"
" no," I answer
How? I was just driving

"We're here"
Push, push
Hurry, hurry
I feel all, ALL of my clothes being cut off
Tests and more tests
I'm just thankful I'm alive!  

------------------------------//////::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
The Things we take for granted

I used to breathe without having to think about it
Now I slowly inhale waiting for the pain that follows
I used to get up...in seconds I'd be on my feet
Now the pain is excruciating
I need support to pull myself up
Getting into bed is another eternal task
But thankful to God that I'm still here
And working on recuperating
Please wear your seat belt it saved my life

Pray for me
* the lady that came to my help... she sat next to me, prayed for me as we waited for the  paramedics-- her name was Lina! like me:) coincidence? I think not

Hello you
Yesterday I had an epiphany about what you do
You have spoken about the hero-status of the uniform
And the depravity beneath it
However
However
The work, the career of rescue and disaster relief, whether from heaven or hell
Is heroic
I have saved lives
Battling uteri that would send the mother out the same door through which the infant just came
Wading through the sea of clotted blood
To find the flaccid muscle to hold death at bay
Have pumped hearts that lie quivering
Slapped and pumped infants with the fixed dilated pupil
And no matter the role we play in that
No matter
How tired it kills us
And how we find rejuvenation
It is heroic work
Even when we cannot bear the role any more
I have been recuperating from that job since you have known me
And I want to say I had forgotten the price.
And that you continue to pay the price of hero-work
The real price

Someday I’ll paint a mural.
I’ll paint it on one of the walls in my room.
It will consist of your favorite colors,
Your favorite things,
Everything that adds up to you.
I’ll let it dry, I’ll let it show.
I’ll look at it at night when
The vibrant colors begin to glow.
And when I finally build up the courage,
When I get past the days that seem to drag on,
I’ll stand on my own two feet and.
I’ll break down that ******* wall.
I’ll even take a picture of the ruins,
Just for your eyes to see,
That the damage I did to the wall,
Was nothing compared to the
Damage you did to me.

Standing with her head low and shoulders slouched,



centered in open field of dying foliage, she stood alone in the pouring rain.



She held a bright yellow flower that nestled so gently in between her slender fingers.



Overcast skies, fill the atmosphere with grey and white towering columns of fluffy moisture.



Blue skies peek at out as the clouds mutate and morph moving along with the winds taking on new forms at every breeze.



Sun rays shoot through the an opening where the clouds part, beaming down below to the golden fields of hill, grass,



and the occasional tree; giving life supporting energy for only a few seconds until it quickly



gets covered by the onslaught of clouds. Shinning on her pale fleshfor that second



she felt the life providing sun permeate on her cold wet skin with warmth.



Rain still trickling down upon her face and flower close to decay,



the light reluctantly giving her the energy to lift her head with prowess.



She fixates her eyes deep out into the hilltops and the skies above,



where the light shed through; steadily recuperating from her desolate outlook before.



Noticing wonders and the rare beauty of her location, that she had given no mind to before.



Managing to reveal a smile she once held behind the clouds, forgetting completely that she was ever alone to begin.

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I am a helping arm at the ready, a friend that you can open up to; a shoulder you can lean on.

But please, my heart held in deep affection asks that you only be fair.

Settled mind tripping, no longer can I differentiate between compositions for the distinguished, and for the many. No longer I attempt, for pain lingers, waiting to pounce on me.

Please, as the lady my heart first throbbed for, don't leave my recuperating soul more perplexed as it already is.

My Lois Lane. My Maria.
It is only my heart's desire that you be loved... even if it has to come from someone else.

I have a heartless soul
It all came together when you turned on me so cold
Gave you everything I had, everything I have you, you stole
I've finished recuperating from the pain
However the past is a history lesson
I learnt I'll never be the same
Anger you see through my eyes
My heart burnt
I was tied in the sky
You were a stain that wouldn't wash off
Love I gave you was despised
Stabbed me in the back
You cut through my heart
Gave me a heart attack
Came back to make sure you finished the job all the way through
My best I tried
I was tied in the sky.......
Left me all alone at night
Destroyed me
You became a vandal
Left me without preamble
Wasn't capable to occupy the state of being all alone in my mind
It was my life
But my cloudy eyes cleared up
My hands untied
And I realized
Theres Millons of others
You're just one......

( Emperor Menilik II)

An enemy
That covets
Your land, your
Gold-bestowed
Natural wealth
And your wife
Creating a strife
Stripping you of
Your liberty
And identity
Is all out
To mar your life!

This blatant aggression
Standing together
It is better we deter.

So, if intentionally
Or otherwise
On you, if
I might
Have posed
A grievance
To date,
I ask apology
Let us bury
The hatchet.

Among us,
An axe to grind
For a divisive wedge
An enemy cruel & wild
Must not find.

Thus, while
In full command
Of your health
If you fail
To march
To the front
I will take that
To the dignity of
Our sovereign nation
And me
An affront.

I swear to God
I swear to God
Up on return
There is
No restraint
My anger
My punitive
Measures against
Such malingers
Back to hold.

Of course,
We need
The prayer
Of the feeble
And the old,
The heavily-armed
Invading army
When we fight
Supper bold.

I assure you
By the grace
Of God
Victory for us
Is what
The future hold.

(The Chief of the provision wing)

Women of the nation
Pull your sleeves;
As provision
Dry food—
Roasted chickpeas
Roasted peas
Dry meat—
If you prepare
It will be good.
Also to boost
Immunity in
The original way
Prepare and ready
Garlic, red chili
And ginger
In a form of
A powder.

(The principal of transport)

Array pack animals
Provisions to transport
From every corner
Of the nation,
The palace
To the battlefront.
S/he who has
A horse or a mule
Must come along
With some hays
For its fuel.

(The master of musicians)

Take on board
Musical instrumentalists
Vocalists, who
War songs that chant
About victory
At hand not hesitant.

(Traditional Health Professionals)

Also take aboard
Women, herbalists
That will nurse
The wounded
Back into shape
Also the recuperating
To fight back
Who help.

(The logistic head)

Our resource gap to fill
While in the battle mill
We have to take along
Bullet swaggers
Ammunition repairers.
Utilizing such skill
Would allow us
With limited resource
More troops to ****.
This way
The cavalry
And infantry
Will fight
About logistic
With little worry.

(Menilik II)

Let us march
Let us march
To the place of
Showdown
To write
Golden history
Like Golead & David
That has no match!

Let us be
A standard bearer
If united
Freedom fighters
Could a giant enemy
Like Goliad deter.

On my sword
I have engraved
Menilik’s power
Is Almighty God
So behold
Those who pick
Against the peaceful
A sword
Will perish by
The sword.

About colonization
As I earlier grabbed
The import
I had accessed
Enough arsenal
Via the port.
If divide & conquer
Is their aim
With Ethiopians’
Oneness &unity
I will foil
Their game
They will have
Themselves to blame.

In the meantime
King Aba Jifar
Taking over inland
Maladministration, disorder
Will bar
In such a way
Ethiopians’ chemistry
Will be heard
Wide and far.///

Let your heart drown in tears
To cleanse away the wound
From it shall spring eternal fountain
Of inspirations, to open your heart
To Love, Hope, and inspiration
Muses will come to drink from it
And poetry shall flow through you
Every particle of you enamored
By the sweet water, flows eternally
Replenish the soul and turn the tide
To delve deeper in to self-belief
And, embrace knowledge to fight a stormy world
Poetry is the panacea for a recuperating soul
For there is the eternal fountain to drink from*



















© Amitav (Radiance)

have you ever wanted something
something not for your eyes
something of beautiful tears
something of beautiful lies
something that envisions the seas
and encompasses the skies

have you ever wanted something
something you cant touch with your hand
something out of your reach
a vision that will soon come to an end
something that you need
something that has only your heart to mend

have you ever wanted something
something that you would put before your heart
something that symbolizes a new beginning]
something that symbolizes a new start
something that symbolizes a that missing piece
something that symbolizes a that lost part

have you ever wanted something so bad
lying
fighting
breaking the law
hurting
killing
taking no moral manner at all
realizing
seeing
what is your worst flaw
apologizing
crying
feeling bad enough to crawl
recuperating
regathering
standing back up tall
knowing
learning
what is the law
respecting
loving
only one and all
waving
saying
bye to your worst flaw

have you ever wanted something
something that you never reached
something you realized you dont really need
something that you would willingly help
and give air to breathe
but helping yourself
to continue to live and be free

I want you, no lie
Just not now
Not right now
Can't handle your madcap adventures
I'm still recuperating
Because I think your love broke my heart

When the shadows overtake me
I hope my throat is already slit.

/MERCY.

I've learned by now
That fast and painless
Is a concept of fiction.

It wouldn't matter
If you were to tear out my heart
Or rip out my spine,
It's all death just the same.

If you choose to take my life,
Don't take mercy into consideration,
Because mercy has been long lost
On those already rotting
In the graves dug in their minds.

/CONSUMPTION.

Peace from the darkness
Has taken the shape
Of your hand on the goblet,
With all my absolution taking the form
Of your loving embrace.

Let's build up our legions,
Show them the light in our gospel,
And convert them to our truth...

Such a beautiful proposition,
If we could work it out ourselves.

Wash over me with your holy sermon.

Let me absorb all your light.

Reconstruct all my arrogance
Upon the backs of the broken,
Just for the rare opportunity
For such a picture perfect landscape.

Monarchy never looked so stunning.

/EMPIRE.

Drowning is becoming an art.

Deeper and deeper
Into the depths do I venture,
All the while indifferent
To my lack of oxygen.

I'm plugging in plot holes.

I'm re-founding Byzantium,
And all for the iconography
That has left me
In such a state of marvel.

I don't want compromise
Or pity of any sort.

I just want you in tidal waves,
And to get pulled deeper
Beneath the whole of your personality.

In a modern world
So short on imperialism
Why was it so easy for you
To colonize my heart?

/TRANSLATION.

For the first time in years,
I need no translation.

I speak clearly, openly,
And without filtration.

She both listens and hears,
And that's not even the beginning
Of her infinite positive traits.

She's a modern masterpiece,
So above modern art.

I want to dissolve into her brilliance
If for even a moment.

/RECOIL.

I have nothing to fear.

I am the God of Death...
I am the shadows
That haunt even the deepest corners
Of my recuperating mind.

I'm gaining back the strength
To show the world once more,
That there are better, truer
Forms of evil in our control.

I am the culmination
Of the lives I have taken,
And now I choose to never
Be frightened by fate again.

I am the God of Death,
And now I choose to live.