What if I ran when you told me to?
What if I hadn’t said no?
What if I had left you the way you left me?
And what if you weren’t the first girl?
Would I have loved you the same?
Would I still be bound and chained by this addiction?
I grew closer to you than anyone,
I sang to you on the phone before your surgery,
I straightened your hair when you couldn’t lift your shoulder
How do you reconcile this?
How do you rationalize it?
Or discard it?
I couldn’t always be there for you,
But I always tried,
Despite the distance,
I always tried
A new day arrived again today, there are new desires again.
There is a renewed love in the remote corners of the heart.
Hidden desires, many of them in many hearts.
What happened and why?
The heart seems to be as quite as a shrine.
May the blessings shower on us again
May the blessings give a sign again
May the blessings make this heaven again
Look at how lonesome I seem without you today
Just like a moment. Lost in the sea of time
Come. And. Reconcile.
Come and cheer me up
I won't be able to live in such sadness
The memories Ask me every single moment...
... Why are there tears in your eyes?
When you left my head
to reckon on its own,
it parted from this world to be alone.
Nothing laughed and all I saw was grey,
all the things I loved seemed to float away.
I was moving around,
but not seeing a thing,
Kept my head empty to keep from thinking of you.
And so I walked with a vacant smile, took far too long to reconcile.
Everything has a time - hearts will stop and people cry.
But clocks will tick away until the good comes around again...
When the dice are thrown
one can only hope for a chance
I was sad, almost dead inside
when you suddenly came in,
I raised my head, in the darkness
still in disbelief,
and saw your eyes sparkling
do I imagine , or has this gleam been hidden
from my pining heart by some strange design?
I was about to grab my things
and vanish in the cold darkness
you wouldn't have seen me ever after;
life could be heartless, cold, even when
it seems to be smiling like full moon,
I had learned this, in my days of love lessons
But through the corner of my open window
I saw the sky was so blue and smiling
the fluffy white clouds, like sheep in a pasture
were playful, they did their best, to cheer me a bit,
brought me hope that something will change everything,
you would even decide to see me one last time
before everything go up in smoke.
Then, you walked in,
the scent of a freshly bloomed flower
sought my hand to dance with her
I still wasn't sure what it did signify
but the sparkle of your eyes, said it all
they arrested me, I did surrender
wasn't that what I yearned all this while ?
An irrefutable dream,
fulfilled tenfold in the illusion
made imperfect by dreamers' oblivion,
sought by the delver of selves.
Rejection of messengers,
the hive of deluded apathy
that saturates the air thick with the droning of silent hesitation
sundering your cedar carapace,
which cancerous excess shatters,
and only cracks remain;
the afterthoughts of paradise
and undiscovered paths of depression,
an anxious exodus of life-force.
Part thine red sea,
lest plate tectonics make waves,
that cause molecules of hemoglobin to disperse in light,
the crimson tears of a soul,
sweeter than the lips coveted.
Sitting solid on a thinking throne
Drinking bottles that sing melancholy tones
Singing lone, resonating to your bones
Your fragile little frame cannot save the show
Not when you're casting skys clouding with crows
Your mind is pale, sick to it's stomach
Everything up there can't reconcile, but luck
It's begun to resonate quietly like a comets tail
When your playing on mental jungle gyms of shale
I'm sure there's things that keep you up
Drugs, and alcohol, and fasting all day
A cyclical belt of asteroid tales
You think so much you've burnt an image
Of cotton dreams, so soft and harsh, but somehow sail
You may never grasp them, but you've reached so far you've become so frail
It's hard to try, it's even harder to pry
Open your heart, and let yourself cry
The castles you build are built of tears, and the cemetery near is calling your fears
The foundation is weak, and your pastor you seek, but everything you've found thus far, oblique
Cast your shadows as you will, but they're just funny puppets you've conjured in the night still
Regrets (Going Home)
I’m sitting at the stop light waiting for the light to turn green
Traffic is bad and I’m waiting for an hour it seems
The song on the radio is playing one from Red
And thoughts keep spinning ‘round, like a carousel in my head
I’m living like I’m driving: always moving but not taking time
To be in the moment or to read the signs
Going through the motions on autopilot every day
What more is there to life? Is there a better way?
What have I been missing that is hiding in plain sight?
There is more in this world outside my personal plight
You know I’m thinking about you now
And I sit here wondering how
You are doing and everything I’m missing
I had so many chances and here I am wishing
Hoping I could go back and do it all over again
To be there for you to be there for my best friend
I lost sight of what was truly important in pursuit of personal gain
I have all this money but the fact still remains:
I have no family now and money simply cannot fix
This emptiness inside the sadness from all this
I want you to know I’m sorry and I was so wrong
I never realized how much I had until all of it was gone
Please know I pray for you and for the kids whenever I can
I know I could’ve been better, been a Godlier man
I could’ve gone to church on Sundays, prayed a little more
I could’ve stood up for our family: a thing worth fighting for
If only I had been aware before all that I now know
I might have done things differently if so
I have come to understand a little a purpose far greater than me
Life is more than just a job, money, or nice things I believe
It is family, it is love, it is a something that you feel
In your heart, in your soul, and it is very real
Helping others, taking care of yourself, being there, showing love
These are all things that matters most if push comes down to shove
Then again it’s not too late to try to reconcile
I’ll take responsibility for consequences and go the extra mile
The only thing I would ask is to keep me in your prayers
And that you know wherever you go someone really cares
The song changes, the light turns and I continue heading home
To a place I can go back to no matter how far away I might roam
I do not know how to reconcile with state
Things are written already in book of fate
I know that I am just like particle to rotate
But because of my soul I always correlate
I am a person right from beautiful heaven
I traveled from skies like a beam, a beacon
I do not know how I managed from curtain
I came with specific aim and clear mission
God travels with me like tinkling of heart
I am on earth to stay and my stay so short
Even if I am a part but I am still poles apart
It is love at start it is love to stay and depart
Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow
It is the day I have been waiting for.
To meet my maker in human form, after delivering human uniforms
I have so much to tell you God
Ten years ago I lost my grandfather
so Creator Son Enjilou and now is it CALIEFAH, Can I call you Granfather?
I come from a world where I have contributed to the human consciousness and development
It was said when the angels took me in and declared me their soldier that the holders of money and big media and mining would not pay money to people like me who do good
It was said that people like me are hardly ever acknowledged
I have so many friends back where I come from
they tell they love me
it's funny that on many ocassions they are the very ones who have been plotting to have me killed, working together with my family
They tell me I'm a star back on Earth, that I have so much money and that I have composed so much music and helped so many people
I have never seen my name on television but they tell me I've written stories
They tell me that when I turn 25 I will receive my wealth and be deemed Royal
However I was never too young to be stolen from
never too young to carry the baggage of the world
never too young to be killed
never too young to have my identity stolen
never too young to watch other men take credit for my work
never too young to watch my beloved's die
never too young to be lied to
or too old to be made the fool
In that world ruled by Darkness, wars are manufactured so the greedy can be richer and the wealthy more comfortable,
this pressure causes a strain and kills the human consciousness as a whole, when an elite group of individuals monopolize their sustenance through drinking the blood and energy of good and hard-working men and women
They tell you you're a hero there but no-one cares if you have bread on the day, a place to sleep, an income or money to get to a certain place
just as long as the aristocrats are comfortable in their seats, spreading HIV, running drug cartels and destroying feminine energy through lust and abuse
through human trafficking and sex-slavery
If people felt the urge that is felt by the martyrs, the yajamanta, the gladiators, the pilgrims and sages; then the world would change instantly
The selfishness of the leaders is unbelievable, the present progress of this makes many humans toddlers because they are constantly needing help more than helping themselves
it makes them parasites because they will sit down and wait for someone else to clean up their garbage
"I'll just keep screwing up and garbage boy will clean it up for me, anyway I'm late for Satan's church"
that's the reality
People fight for bonds and inheritance, killing and lying to each other to attain these material goods
They never find happiness because of this, they feed on the flesh so that them energy vampires
they are burnt by the truth because they bathe in blood baths and still feel the injuries of the desolation of Mars
In this world, there are few people you can really and truly trust if any
because once they realize that there's someone you can trust; they go after him and bribe him or manipulate him
Truth be told if people were extremely hungry for Heaven they would probably find it in an hour
If they gave praise or directed their frequency of vibration embodied in Soul to God just as they do to their Lord Lucifer; the world would change in a day
But people love Lucifer, they love being victims, staying on the ground after you've fallen, never learning from your mistakes
waking up after you realise that you've been sleeping
so and so on
At this, people then don't become soldiers and then fail to change their lives around
it starts with admitting that you've messed up doesn't it God?
So you ask me, do I have a bank account? Sure, but here they clone and sample everything so that way you never get to receive what you deserve
If these Fraternal members or tyrants really believed in god, every genius who dies protecting an idea would be compensated immediately, if they can access your personal data that quickly
but that doesn't happen, you speak the truth and fight for your money consequent of the hard you've been doing, you get crucified
it seems to me, if they cannot pay these inventors their dues then they are more uncomfortable with watching these geniuses live and enjoy their money which they deserve
So the real prisoners are the Emperors you see, they are not free from themselves
and if supporters they are and truly love you then they'd appreciate what you stand for and they wouldn't love money more than they love what they stand for
So there is a huge pool of insecurity, and once ego dies then a long list of addictions and confusions also die
Humility is born, new worlds are discovered, old systems are replaced and there is a new meaning of life
Then perhaps artists will have a chance
their work won't be abused or spoiled and compromised
Then the Truth would Reconcile
With only a few regrets in life,
I count ever letting you go a major loss.
I'd like to undo a lot,
But with you i crave a make over instead.
Should we ever get to a place where i can't do without you,
Then and only then would we have just began.