"recognizing" poems
Somedays my thoughts shriek so loud that
they congest the rest of my mind
other days they chant lullaby's as if nothing
traumatic has ever happened
one moment i'm up
the next im crumbling to my knees
one or the other its consistent drowning with
no one to rescue me
I'm keen on telling myself its all in my head
at times, but
doctors tell me its all me
but for gods sake do they realize what horrid
phrases the voices scream?
death would be so heavenly
I long for the passing of sides
im awaiting to go home where its all
white and peaceful
i have days where im so narcissistic; I swear
I can commence the world as if every millisecond is
a luxury of sighs and sounds
at moments my dispute comes out so rapid
all i get is crooked looks and mumbles
some days, I love him
other times I swear he's the devil in disguise
during my manic episodes you spoke soft as if I
was a fallen angle that was overflowing with life.
You had mentioned a world that disculded me was a
world you cannot exist in
You said I influenced your heart to skip beats, that I
saved you, I was your fresh air
Once he witnessed myself during a dreadful episode
you declared loving me was exhausting and space
is what you desired for
hell could i control this?
he was the one isolated concept I could ever make
my ******* mind up about
I loved him;
I love him
he said that his devotion to me was similar to
staring into a black hole but seeing the reflection of the delicate sunset
it never made sense to him
BUT HELL DID IT MAKE SENSE TO ME?
when he stranded me, i couldn't help but dissolve in tears
i was nowhere adjacent to happy
but that's all I've ever comprehended
my doctor says they've observed a change
maybe its the sleepless weeks and collection of mood stabilizers
consuming pills in hopes to not feel so ******* empty
anticipating on my next manic episode
waiting for the door to open to go home
If I have learned anything from living with BPD
it is im constantly dilapidated upon everything
one day soon I hope to recover from this disorder
that replicates a loud room without recognizing how loud it was
and all I hear is the ringing in my ears that doesn't seem to have an end
some day this will be over
some day my lover will stay
I pray to fall in love with another angel again
Nov 14, 2015
Nov 14, 2015 at 2:27 PM UTC
A confident man feels not a need to speak
on all things with which he does not agree
Though in the proper time and place
he is not afraid to assert his way
And though his words at times cause spurn,
he will admit when they are out of turn
Fearing not the inevitable mistake,
but rather owning it too late
Caring and feeling without hesitation
and not for reciprocal adulation
Emotions are expressed appropriately;
either subtlety or rationally
As honest with others as with himself;
recognizing what he does and doesn’t do well
Claiming to know what he does know
and asks when he don’t
Pursuing tasks for their benefit and or joy
rather than status or fleeting ploys
Those latter things are often great fun,
but worry of them yields none
While in his mind there is good thinking,
he is more occupied with good acting
In order to have concerns of the ideological,
requires labors that are practical
On his confidence, he does not ponder,
as neither he or anyone wonders
of whether he truly possesses it.
We know it.
Sep 19, 2018
Sep 19, 2018 at 6:25 PM UTC
In this battle for the freedom of our souls some may think
Maybe I should've let go long ago
From being kings and queens, Chiefs and Pharaohs
To ******* in the cotton fields
To slaves being whipped and forgotten
We were stolen.
Stripped from our homes and looted of our gold.
Fast forward
Now we are doctors, lawyers, professors
But Don't tell me the cotton fields have recovered from our tears
Our sweat seeps deep into the souls of America
So Don't tell me the cotton fields have recovered from our blood.
Fast forward
"All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law."
They tell us equality is coming.
That it is here.
Then let you wait holding your breath
Suffocating.
Black boy shot and killed for walking down the street
Black boy whipped and beaten for looking master in the eye
Tell me are you still holding your breath?
Still suffocating
Still waiting for the keys to our chains
Fast forward
Black lives matter
All roads torn down, we've paved new paths
Stripped from our houses so we built homes
Lotted for our gold but we are golden
Black is hard to get rid of, that annoying stain that stays to long
Black is rough and tough
Black is solid in luring ways
But
Black lives won't matter until we love our own people
Black lives won't. matter. to. them. because you've called that girl a *** or Thot"
Black lives won't matter until we stop the black on black blood splatter
For black lives to matter...
We must empower each other
Standing together the ground will break recognizing he whose tears, sweat and blood upon which it was built
So take one look at our past
Because this will be the last
Sep 10, 2016
Sep 10, 2016 at 11:55 AM UTC
I’m currently sitting in the coldest clinic,
Across from, probably,
the cheapest Mexican restaurant in Western Arizona.
The floors are sterile white,
And I giggle at the thought
of you
recognizing the irony
Of my emptiness.
The walls are also white and look slick with Lysol.
They radiate that dampness
that I swear that they smell
like loneliness,
We didn’t make love,
So much as **** in the dirt,
But the truth is
I’d rather wake up hot in the afternoon
on the dirt and the ground
(After you’ve already left)
Than wake up next to
The wrong person
in the wrong bed.
From earthy and raw
so quickly
to empty and white.
Sep 23, 2018
Sep 23, 2018 at 8:21 PM UTC
Dissociation:
noun
the disconnection or separation of something from something else or
the state of being disconnected.
CHEMISTRY
the splitting of a molecule into smaller molecules, atoms, or ions,
especially by a reversible process.
PSYCHIATRY
separation of normally related mental processes, resulting in one group functioning independently from the rest, leading in extreme cases to disorders such as multiple personality.
Dissociation is not trendy.
It’s not just depression or starring into space.
It’s so much more
It’s crawling away form reality and making
a home in your head.
Losing contact with your body.
Dissociation is not knowing who you are.
Dissociation is watching yourself in third person.
Dissociation is feeling so scared that you’d rather loose
yourself entirely then live in the present.
Dissociation is not always multiple personalities
but sometimes no personality.
It’s losing time.
It’s not recognizing those you love.
It’s having little to no memory of
anything that happened after the fifth grade.
its knowing faces but not exactly sure where
from.
It’s a defense mechanism.
It’s writing your name on the back of your hand to not
completely lose all of you.
It’s wearing a rubber band to snap yourself back
because you have taught yourself to know
when you are losing yourself
It’s getting help,
because you know in your very few
lucid moments that this is not normal.
May 10, 2017
May 10, 2017 at 9:37 AM UTC
A woman’s job is never done. From sun up to sun down, most women have a ton of things to do along with keeping their man happy in a relationship. It makes a woman feel important and special when you take time to recognize all that she does. A simple,”Thank you for cooking dinner, I really appreciate it”, can put a smile on her face. No woman wants to be in a relationship that she feels invisible in. Recognizing her efforts is the very fuel that can inspire her to keep doing more for you.
She deserves safety and security.Whether you are providing a roof over her head or protection over her heart, every woman needs her safe haven. When a man can give a woman the reassurance that he will do anything to protect her heart, her well being and her spirit, it brings a certain level of peace over her. When a woman feels safe, she feels free. You can’t expect her to continue being your angel if you don’t create a heaven like environment for her to comfortably lay her head in.
She needs to know which certainty that she can trust her life partner.
A man will never reach the depths of a woman’s love if that woman cannot fully trust him. When a woman can lower her guard and love a man without holding anything back, that is truly when that man has earned all of her trust. It takes courage loving a man and sharing things with him that makes her sacred. Everyone doesn’t get to explore those levels of her love. You only reach that level of comfort with a woman when she can fully trust you. Earn her trust and you will tap into things that will inspire you in becoming a better man.
A woman needs to feel desired and loved.
A woman definitely needs two things. She needs to hear how much you love her, and she needs to see how much you love her. Every woman needs to feel like she is special and like she is the only woman in her man’s world. As a man, it is your responsibility to never leave your woman guessing or wondering how much you really do love her. She should be so moved by your love that it radiates off of her when she steps out in public. With most women, the thought and the effort you put into making them smile is truly what matters most. Whether you are planning a surprise dinner or planning to send her surprise flowers, these small things leave the biggest smiles on their heart. Express how much she means to you and how blessed you are to have her in your life. Don’t just say she’s irreplaceable, love her like she is irreplaceable and she will never stray away from you and your love. She deserves a man to be her best friend.
When you feel like you have your best friend in your relationship, that is a sign of a great relationship. Can she confide in you secrets that she has never told anyone? Can she trust that you will listen to her about anything in the world without judging her? Are you a man that she can cry with and laugh with? Being her best friend is like making a secret oath with her. You never share private conversations and private moments with anyone outside of your relationship. Being her best friend means that you will always be able to see the best in her even when she feels the opposite. Being a woman’s best friend is one of the best things that you can do for your relationship.
Oct 30, 2015
Oct 30, 2015 at 6:46 AM UTC
"Funny, I don't remember no good dope days. I remember walking for miles in a dope fiend haze. I remember sleeping in houses that had no electric. I remember being called a ****** but I couldn't accept it. I remember hanging out in abandos that were empty and dark. I remember shooting up in the bathroom and falling out at the park. I remember nodding out in front of my sisters kid. I remember not remembering half of the things that I did. I remember the dope man's time frame, just ten more minutes. I remember those days being so sick that I just wanted to end it. I remember the birthdays and holiday celebrations. All the things I missed during my incarceration. I remember overdosing on my bedroom floor. I remember my sisters cry and my dad having to break down the door. I remember the look on his face when I opened my eyes, thinking today was the day that his baby had died. I remember blaming myself when my mom decided to leave. I remember the guilt I felt in my chest making it hard to breathe. I remember caring so much but not knowing how to show it. and I know to this day that she probably don't even know it. I remember feeling like I lost all hope. I remember giving up my body for the next bag of dope. I remember only causing pain, destruction and harm. I remember the track marks the needles left on my arm. I remember watching the slow break up of my home. I remember thinking my family would be better off if I just left them alone. I remember looking in the mirror at my sickly completion. I remember not recognizing myself in my own **** reflection. I remember constantly obsessing over my next score but what I remember most is getting down on my knees and asking God to save me cuz I don't want to do this no more !!!"
- Delaney Farrell
Mar 21, 2018
Mar 21, 2018 at 10:48 PM UTC
So often we associate love directly with pain.
We accuse it of causing us
Anguish
Damage
Misery.
Irrationally deciding
To never engage
With another being
On this deeper level again.
Convinced
We must avoid such harm.
But wait—
Is this merely a way
To justify the ways in which
We allow our feelings to hold the power?
Consume us
Confuse us and
Take complete control?
Strip down your hurt
Your anger and
Your bitterness.
You may see clearer
Recognizing
It is not the presence of love that is hurtful.
Rather
The absence of love
The loss of love
The misidentification of love
Igniting these feelings within.
Truth is,
When love is open
Honest
Pure and
Present
It is truly an invaluable treasure.
Sep 17, 2018
Sep 17, 2018 at 10:05 PM UTC
I don’t really like to play the victim,
But I'm being failed by this system
7 hours, a hostage to cinder block rooms
With nothing to do but let myself be groomed
Into someone's labor source
If I don’t have money, I cannot live
But nobody seems to have a thought to give
To my Life being turned into a commodity
Something to be owned, taxed, a luxury
That sometimes I’m not able to afford.
So much stock is put into democracy
But we don’t matter to bureaucracy
Unless we use the paychecks earned
From the Liberties we burned
To fill their empty promises
They call us ungrateful and lazy
For recognizing that this life is crazy
And resenting all the thought and time
Spent in the Pursuit of a rich man’s dime
Instead of our own Happiness
Oct 14, 2018
Oct 14, 2018 at 6:53 PM UTC
question: do we lose ourselves in the midst of romanticizing or do we unravel our true selves.
response: do we lose who we are in the idealistic view of our romantic quests or do we unveil a trait of ourselves that has been there all along? hiding behind the perfect life you saw yourself having before your heart shattered in little tiny pieces when your utopian view took on another perspective. recognizing yourself in a dark state that was clouded by your 'cherry-kissed' outlook on love, you see who you really are. the good, the bad, and the ugly transformed into the hopeless romantic who has only experienced their first heartbreak to then examine every characteristic of themselves and determine if they were 'in the wrong'. your romantic expectations turning you into someone you're not is the controversial topic. but what if it was just the romanticizing that grounded you and brought you back to reality? what if it was the romanticizing that expressed your honest self? what if it were for all of the childhood fantasies and teenage dreams that helped you realize who you want to be with? what if it were for all of the traumatic experiences and unfulfilled relationships that helped you realize the person you truly are.
-mxy
Mar 22, 2015
Mar 22, 2015 at 9:45 PM UTC
my darling,
you were my heaven -
hallowed be thy veins.
thy kingdom come, my affection won.
your love, though a hellfire, was heaven.
give me a chance to clear my head.
forgive me, for not recognizing
your voice among the masses,
as i forgive those who break my trust.
lead me not into isolation
but deliver me from myself.
for thine is the space
here in my ribcage
forever & ever.
amen.
- m.f.
Jan 4, 2014
Jan 4, 2014 at 7:07 PM UTC
The key to finishing is beginning.
The key to victory is uniquely found on the battle field forged through a warriors' cry of triumph.
The key to any type of revelation; is activation.
The key to liberty is wrought with the hammer of responsibility.
The key to paradise is hidden; it can take a lifetime of searching and/or a single simple decision.
The key to understanding; is found in the application of knowledge through wisdom.
The key to any type of belief is often based on the intangible; a step of faith.
The key to fruitfulness is in planting good seed.
The key to overcoming; is found in the hands of the heart injected with the fuel of persistence.
The key to life; is recognizing the breath of the living.
The key to love; is G-d.
The key to any beginning is only made visible at the ending.
© Qwey.ku
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 3:53 AM UTC
Loving yourself
Doesn't mean be self absorbed
Doesn't mean be a total ****
Because you need to love yourself
Loving yourself
Is recognizing you're human
And that you make mistakes
And that it's okay to make mistakes
Loving yourself
Is when you mess up really bad
When you say the wrong things
But you go back to try and fix them to validate you're not a piece of ****
Loving yourself
Means that when you go back and try to fix things
And you aren't able to fix things
You lift yourself up anyway because you know you tried to fix it
Loving yourself
Doesn't mean tiptoeing
Around what bothers you
It means you face your fears and realize it's not the end of the world to fail
Loving yourself
Is realizing that the first step to success
Is failure
That falling is good because you try again until you get it right, not give up
Loving yourself
Is having persistence
To prove them all wrong
And not get upset when you can't because sometimes you can't
Loving yourself
Is admiring your trying
Because you should be proud that you try to make things right and you try to make things better
Not only for me, but for yourself, because it bothers you too, to be so mean
Loving yourself
Doesn't mean you look down on others
It means you accept everybody, even your enemies, those that hurt you
You just don't look down on yourself
Loving yourself
Is when someone tells you you're horrible
But you know better than what they say because you know you try and you try so hard
You stand tall but
Loving yourself
Doesn't mean you're better
Because everyone is human and you make mistakes too
You don't hate on the bullies because they hurt just like you and you won't make the mistakes they do
Loving yourself
Nov 26, 2013
Nov 26, 2013 at 4:37 PM UTC
Like a Firefly you light the darkness in my presence
Revealing my path so I won't be lost once more
Like a Firefly you are foreign to me, not recognizing your kind
You beauty is rare in these parts
Like a Firefly your actions are peaceful like the beats of your wings
The more their are the brighter your light stretches around me
Like a Firefly I want to capture you in my glass jar
To gaze and admire your unique beauty
Like a Firefly I will release you to your home
Hoping that you'll continue to light my way into your world
Jun 2, 2015
Jun 2, 2015 at 2:01 AM UTC
Images flashing
Flashing
With
Recognizing
Eyes
And
Registering
Brain
Played over
Over
Through
Passageways
By way
Of
Electromagnetic
Impulse
And
Firing
Neurons
Within
Within those
Is a
Deeper understanding
As
Cerebral
Cortex
Takes hold
And forms
Within
Profoundness
Insidiousness
Forever
Dec 5, 2012
Dec 5, 2012 at 5:02 PM UTC
If mirrors were made to be looked into
And people deserve to be loved
Why didn't I feel good peering into
The merciless glass?
Why was I told that my body
No matter how wonderful I felt
Was disgusting?
Why did my eyes veer away from the truth
As I stood, body prominently shown
Even when I felt beautiful?
When a society gets to the breaking point
Where a girl can try her absolute best to be healthy
And someone asks "who are you doing this for?"
As if the answer is something other than herself
There is a problem.
Spending most of my life absolutely loathing my reflection was pointless
Those telling me I need to change
Telling me I should be ashamed
Looking me up and down with a disgusting countenance that spewed hatred and the only words they could make out was "how much do you weigh?"
They were wrong.
There's no need to bring the happy down
And baby, I was soaring before you came around
I WILL LOOK TO MY REFLECTION AND ALL BUT FROWN
I WILL EMBRACE MY CURVES AS THE WINDING HILLS THEY ARE
MY BEAUTIFUL STRETCH MARKS MAKES MY BODY MORE INDIVIDUAL THAN ANY IRON-BOARD
I WILL REJOICE FOR RECOGNIZING MYSELF AS THE GODDESS I TRULY AM
STRUCK DOWN FROM HEAVEN ONLY TO RISE AGAIN
MY BODY THE SACRED TEMPLE OF THE GODS
AND WHEN ASKED HOW I BEAT THE ODDS I WILL SAY,
"We have been taught to hate
Those that appear a certain way
By an unqualified teacher.
And one day, alone with my mirror
I peered into it to see my body clearer
And I realized my beauty was there all along
I was just looking through clouded lenses."
Nov 28, 2016
Nov 28, 2016 at 9:33 PM UTC
practicing freedom is allowing yourself to notice the beauty in each and every day
practicing freedom is knowing that saying nothing or everything is perfectly okay
practicing freedom is loving your skin in whatever color it comes in
practicing freedom is wholeheartedly empowering both women and men
practicing freedom is fighting for those who are oppressed
practicing freedom is knowing even boys can wear a dress
practicing freedom is breaking free of societal expectation
practicing freedom is respecting those who live outside of normal presentations
practicing freedom is declaring truth over lies
practicing freedom is learning to leave fear behind
practicing freedom is prioritizing people over money
practicing freedom is realizing that human life is endlessly more valuable than the ******* economy
practicing freedom is believing you are enough
every background, ethnicity, and gender is deserving of love
practicing freedom is striving for unity
practicing freedom is recognizing the division that's destroying you and me
practicing freedom is acknowledging your dreams
practicing freedom is keeping hope alive despite all things
the practice of freedom.
Jan 29, 2018
Jan 29, 2018 at 3:46 PM UTC
385
Smiling back from Coronation
May be Luxury—
On the Heads that started with us—
Being’s Peasantry—
Recognizing in Procession
Ones We former knew—
When Ourselves were also dusty—
Centuries ago—
Had the Triumph no Conviction
Of how many be—
Stimulated—by the Contrast—
Unto Misery—
3.3k
In the crease of her fingers
Is where she held me.
A history of thought,
Filtered.
Flaked off at the end.
It was her fingers I felt most comfortable.
That I could truly do anything.
Stuck between her middle and pointer finger.
Held high, upright.
Unprecedented in eclipse.
She'd press me to her lips.
Resuscitated.
Flaked at the tip.
Scatter ash
Where I felt most alive.
Nestled in the bend of her fingers.
My building without escape.
She'd set fire to my head.
& like a mad man I'd lay still.
This smoke, a place I wanted to be.
Our bad habit persisting
Day in and day out.
The only fact perhaps we truly have.
I'd unravel in loss of responsibility,
The nook of her fingers,
A universal sense of comfort.
Withered down.
Tossed to the wind.
Our history made short,
Recognizing that we were doomed from the start.
Smoking in front of the no smoking sign,
A habit we can't put down
Oct 8, 2018
Oct 8, 2018 at 9:29 AM UTC
looking in the mirror
not recognizing the reflection
when this face got so old
I have no recollection
creases around the eyes
skin looking like leather
time taking it's toll
worn out by the weather
body breaking down
getting difficult to stand
arthritis is a problem
especially in my hand
hair growing in my ears
and growing out my nose
growing places it shouldn't be
even on my toes
sight a little blurry
getting difficult to see
getting up every hour
just to go ***
even though this body
will break down and age
the fire for you inside me
will continue to rage
Aug 14, 2016
Aug 14, 2016 at 12:45 PM UTC
As a child
I would sometimes urinate in my sleep.
The warm wetness would turn cold, and wake me.
Ashamed, I’d take off my Pjs and crawl under the comfort of my Sister covers.
She was studying to be a teacher and taking courses in child psychology
About the time I started “bedwetting”.
Recognizing my unnecessary guilt, she told me not to be upset.
“If that ever happens, just spoon with me and we’ll take care of it in the morning.”
I did know what that meant.
Mother would get so mad.
Of course I had no idea why I would "wet the bed",
but she did.
Our Parents would often argue into the night.
And although I did not understand any of it,
like a dog,
I felt the tension.
I sensed the discourse in their voices.
It was the same discourse they used to scold me.
Therefore, I thought they were angry at me.
The silence was worse though.
Even though their biting tone would cease, I could still feel the smoldering anger.
The air was thick with it.
My Sister was a young woman, soon to be married and out of that hell.
She was the Mother I never had.
She had a huge black RCA transistor radio and use to put it next to my bed,
tuned to a Rock and Roll station.
I never knew why she did that until many years later.
It drowned out our Parents fighting.
The music became my solace.
“I like bread and butter, I like toast and jam”
And soon,
I stopped urinating in my sleep.
Of course the by-product of her intervention was
that I have been a professional musician and entertainer all of my life.
Music has been and always will be my solace.
It blocks out the arguing in the world.
thanks Sis
May 6, 2013
May 6, 2013 at 7:58 PM UTC
Shame on me
Shame on me for not pushing the label further.
Shame on me for not recognizing your true colors.
Shame on me for being deceived by your continuous empty promises.
Shame on me for ignoring the endless trail of red flags.
Shame on me for embracing your abuse with open arms.
Shame on me for accepting your disrespect.
Shame on me for allowing you to destroy the tenacious woman I am.
Shame on me
May 23, 2023
May 23, 2023 at 10:23 AM UTC
Wake up, wake up
The Whole World Is Watching
And your skin is crawling
I wonder why it's
Bubbling, boiling
Is it alive or am I?
Lifting the digital lid to let them in
Feeds that feed my insatiable hunger
For what my ex is doing now
Soon becomes irrelevant
When people are dying
Who will lose their life
In front of the next camera?
Why does it take so much
Just to open our eyes ?
Just to listen, just
Sit down
Get off him, please
Please.
I don’t want to hear another mother
Crying for her son
Another wife sister brother
I don’t want to watch their children
Learn why their daddy died
I don’t want to be this detached
From loss of life because I’ve lost my life
I don’t want to hear from a clown
Or discuss his position, even his mind
I refuse him my energy
I know big and he is the smallest
What is a President
Sorry, who?
What government
The one that destroys us?
Puts everyone in in cages, our strongest men, our brightest children
Makes us watch
From our couches
From our desks
Because we are that good at multitasking
Pillaging, ****** recognizing
Shrugging and closing the door
The powerful people killing real people of power
Of using color to teach color and power flowing
To keep it going
What does it mean
To put a human beneath you
We were not made for this
But we built it anyway
Was I made for this?
I don’t want to be here
God, I am lucky to be here
I am here
And it doesn’t take long
Not to be
Dec 2, 2020
Dec 2, 2020 at 10:01 PM UTC
It was chemistry
Like cloning
I could feel our souls recognizing each other
This wasn't the first time
We've met before
I was your slave in ancient Egypt
Your sister as we burned, accused as witches
I stole you from your bethroved
As we sailed away on my pirate ship
Over the centuries we have found each other
As sisters
Friends
More than often lovers
Today they'd say we were
"Meant to be"
While poets call us
Soulmates
Jan 31, 2013
Jan 31, 2013 at 10:26 PM UTC
All of sudden reality happens
Ruining my mind that's already jumbled
"where the hell did i just go?"
I ask to myself no one listens
Obsecurity is still in me
Recognizing situation where i have been
Looking up the sky it's already dark
Worrying something, i need to get up
Home, i need to find home
Stepping forward to pass the crowd
The longer i go, the quieter it's so
Taking my glasses off because its fogged
Focusing my lens but the blur shows
sigh
Now melancholy does it again
Lack of knowledge about locations
Lack of someone to be asked for
And there is no light to guide me on
Vision, direction, companion
I wish i could make them clearer
But in reality, they just disappear
Jul 22, 2018
Jul 22, 2018 at 9:26 AM UTC