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"recklessly" poems
Falling in love with someone who is bipolar will never be easy. There will be minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months where I'm unexplainably mean, or recklessly happy.   For a period of time, I may be all over you and want to smother you in my aforementioned reckless happiness, that I will forget to ask how you're doing and if you ate anything today. I will forget that unlike me, you need to sleep for 9 hours a day and that you're not fully ready to take on the world. At some point, I will take a turn for the worst and will mope in unbelievable sorrow due to the death of my false happiness. I will cry about everything and will stop calling, and forget to remind you that I love you so much and just need some time away. My deep sadness will soon turn into unrelenting anger and I will tell you abusive things that I don't really mean. I will be confused as to why I say them, and apologize a million times and try to explain that I can't control my anger, and that I need to leave and be away from people for a while, although I know nothing will really help. You will insist that it's okay and tell me you love me. For days, weeks, or months, I will do this, and you will soon think I am lying and think that I am just genuinely terrible. My constant apologies will become nothing and you will soon distance yourself and start falling out of love, but still have a glimmer of hope. After this episode, I will have a period where I feel nothing and am almost robot-like. You will feel unwanted and unloved and look at me with such sad eyes and get nothing but a shrug and a half-assed "sorry." When you finally walk away,  I will have more bad days than good days because I will regret not saying I love you more. I will hate myself for being bipolar. I will fall back into my bad habits and soon you will be a distant memory.
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Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 10:50 AM UTC
Loving Someone Who is Bipolar
Falling in love with someone who is bipolar will never be easy. There will be minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months where I'm unexplainably mean, or recklessly happy.   For a period of time, I may be all over you and want to smother you in my aforementioned reckless happiness, that I will forget to ask how you're doing and if you ate anything today. I will forget that unlike me, you need to sleep for 9 hours a day and that you're not fully ready to take on the world. At some point, I will take a turn for the worst and will mope in unbelievable sorrow due to the death of my false happiness. I will cry about everything and will stop calling, and forget to remind you that I love you so much and just need some time away. My deep sadness will soon turn into unrelenting anger and I will tell you abusive things that I don't really mean. I will be confused as to why I say them, and apologize a million times and try to explain that I can't control my anger, and that I need to leave and be away from people for a while, although I know nothing will really help. You will insist that it's okay and tell me you love me. For days, weeks, or months, I will do this, and you will soon think I am lying and think that I am just genuinely terrible. My constant apologies will become nothing and you will soon distance yourself and start falling out of love, but still have a glimmer of hope. After this episode, I will have a period where I feel nothing and am almost robot-like. You will feel unwanted and unloved and look at me with such sad eyes and get nothing but a shrug and a half-assed "sorry." When you finally walk away,  I will have more bad days than good days because I will regret not saying I love you more. I will hate myself for being bipolar. I will fall back into my bad habits and soon you will be a distant memory.
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13
You choose a sepia filter To match your timeless visage To match the clothes you've wandered into today But it is not a selfie. Your eyes pierce them through their iPhone screens Your smile is casually not directed towards anyone in particular Your outfit is recklessly on point And it is not a selfie. It is a punch in the gut to everyone who has ever said you are not good enough. It is not a selfie. The wings by your eyes will go out of style. The dye in your hair will wash down the drain. The clothes will wear out and you will take pictures again. But you have fabricated a moment. You are smiling towards yourself. Slap your image onto every social media you know Next to the supermodels and Kardashians and words of self hatred This is the fulcrum with which you will lever the world. This is not a selfie.
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Aug 14, 2014
Aug 14, 2014 at 6:10 AM UTC
This is not a Selfie
I will regret this in the morning but I will do it anyway my impulsivity often overpowers my conscience yet I am almost always fully aware of the decisions I make and their consequences I am not exactly mentally stable but I am sane enough to know right from wrong yesterday from today love from lust although sometimes I mix them up I have a tendency to lunge at any pair of arms that open for me my mind and body often disagree my body saying yes to eager hands my mind saying no constantly looking towards my heart thinking how stupid one must be to fall repeatedly get hurt every single time and still manage to do the same over and over again I wonder how many times I will have to hit the ground in order to learn to stop falling face first? I often say things that should be left unsaid I often do things that should not be done sleep in beds unfamiliar make believe love to strangers get to know people who will not remember me tomorrow I am gone as quickly as the hangover I can be washed off the tongue just as quickly as the liquor I often believe I am capable of inciting change I kiss temporary lips with permanence hoping that I can train them to stay I love temporary people with permanence hoping that I can train them not to leave and when they do I claim to have seen it coming I am incapable of forgetting a scrapbook memory of skin and heartbeat of touch and moments I know not to look directly into eyes for they can be blinding and I still do it anyway I know of the risks that shouldn't be taken well aware of their consequences and I still take them anyway you could say it is my own fault for the way that things continue to turn out but I can make no promise of apology instead I will live momentarily **** up intentionally love recklessly fall unguarded break enough times to learn how to put myself back together crash into concrete enough times to learn how to shift a crooked smile into something worth seeing I have been told that a life lived in fear is hardly a life lived at all so I intend to live every second like it is the last one I will have I will write each night as it happens narrate my own stories and hope they turn out okay I will regret this in the morning but I will do it anyway.
0
Oct 15, 2014
Oct 15, 2014 at 2:48 PM UTC
I Will Regret This In The Morning
I will regret this in the morning but I will do it anyway my impulsivity often overpowers my conscience yet I am almost always fully aware of the decisions I make and their consequences I am not exactly mentally stable but I am sane enough to know right from wrong yesterday from today love from lust although sometimes I mix them up I have a tendency to lunge at any pair of arms that open for me my mind and body often disagree my body saying yes to eager hands my mind saying no constantly looking towards my heart thinking how stupid one must be to fall repeatedly get hurt every single time and still manage to do the same over and over again I wonder how many times I will have to hit the ground in order to learn to stop falling face first? I often say things that should be left unsaid I often do things that should not be done sleep in beds unfamiliar make believe love to strangers get to know people who will not remember me tomorrow I am gone as quickly as the hangover I can be washed off the tongue just as quickly as the liquor I often believe I am capable of inciting change I kiss temporary lips with permanence hoping that I can train them to stay I love temporary people with permanence hoping that I can train them not to leave and when they do I claim to have seen it coming I am incapable of forgetting a scrapbook memory of skin and heartbeat of touch and moments I know not to look directly into eyes for they can be blinding and I still do it anyway I know of the risks that shouldn't be taken well aware of their consequences and I still take them anyway you could say it is my own fault for the way that things continue to turn out but I can make no promise of apology instead I will live momentarily **** up intentionally love recklessly fall unguarded break enough times to learn how to put myself back together crash into concrete enough times to learn how to shift a crooked smile into something worth seeing I have been told that a life lived in fear is hardly a life lived at all so I intend to live every second like it is the last one I will have I will write each night as it happens narrate my own stories and hope they turn out okay I will regret this in the morning but I will do it anyway.
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76
love its a beautiful thing really, its brutal, its strong it so deep, and so heartwarming, and at the same time, it makes me want to cry, scream pound my bed, punch the white cement wall until my knuckles are ****** raw and the wall has a display of reds. it makes me want to break an elegant expensive vase, and crush it in my hand. its destructive, desired, dangerous, and yet i want to laugh i want to sing and dance! dance to oh what a night dance with my yellow watercolored pillow case, with my favorite pillow stuffed inside oh, love is so peculiar isn’t it? its spectacular, and its like standing in the middle of a ballroom where dresses and suit ties of different hues reflect the chandelier light hanging from the ceiling, an array of rainbows cast on the walls. and yet, theres an emptiness… one I’m afraid i cannot fill, and rely on you to. its like standing in an ocean of chaos, of excitement and watching it from afar at the same time. i can see myself swimming with the sharks, yet i am a bystander as the thread of my life is strung tautly, i watch myself bleed, gruesomely torn to pieces i watch as the water darkens from spilt wine, the wine that was once salty becomes sickly sweet around me but i continue watching myself become bones stuck in their teeth. its like being in an aquarium, encased in water, and yet, still not a part of it, a distance, yet, a proximity i watch myself drown through the looking glass, unable to help. the sign says don’t tap the glass, but i pound and pound. I am the only one watching myself slowly slow, and slowly stop. stop breathing, stop fighting. love is holding your breath, being cautious, yet careless. Its diving recklessly, unsure whether to be sober, or drunk, and being both. its like seeing myself on a high diving board, the water beneath is so deep, it seems to never start, and never end at the same time. I can see myself, on the edge peering over, scared to take a leap of faith, yet relived i can still feel the sharp breaths, nervous stomach, because it means i can still feel, i am still capable of human emotions i thought had left me long ago, before you.
0
Mar 18, 2018
Mar 18, 2018 at 9:07 PM UTC
What is Love?
love its a beautiful thing really, its brutal, its strong it so deep, and so heartwarming, and at the same time, it makes me want to cry, scream pound my bed, punch the white cement wall until my knuckles are ****** raw and the wall has a display of reds. it makes me want to break an elegant expensive vase, and crush it in my hand. its destructive, desired, dangerous, and yet i want to laugh i want to sing and dance! dance to oh what a night dance with my yellow watercolored pillow case, with my favorite pillow stuffed inside oh, love is so peculiar isn’t it? its spectacular, and its like standing in the middle of a ballroom where dresses and suit ties of different hues reflect the chandelier light hanging from the ceiling, an array of rainbows cast on the walls. and yet, theres an emptiness… one I’m afraid i cannot fill, and rely on you to. its like standing in an ocean of chaos, of excitement and watching it from afar at the same time. i can see myself swimming with the sharks, yet i am a bystander as the thread of my life is strung tautly, i watch myself bleed, gruesomely torn to pieces i watch as the water darkens from spilt wine, the wine that was once salty becomes sickly sweet around me but i continue watching myself become bones stuck in their teeth. its like being in an aquarium, encased in water, and yet, still not a part of it, a distance, yet, a proximity i watch myself drown through the looking glass, unable to help. the sign says don’t tap the glass, but i pound and pound. I am the only one watching myself slowly slow, and slowly stop. stop breathing, stop fighting. love is holding your breath, being cautious, yet careless. Its diving recklessly, unsure whether to be sober, or drunk, and being both. its like seeing myself on a high diving board, the water beneath is so deep, it seems to never start, and never end at the same time. I can see myself, on the edge peering over, scared to take a leap of faith, yet relived i can still feel the sharp breaths, nervous stomach, because it means i can still feel, i am still capable of human emotions i thought had left me long ago, before you.
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48
Birds have their homes. This bird made this world, Its own home. When other birds struggled To make friends beyond their homes, This bird made followers and comrades, Transformed them The perseverent leaders of a challenging mission It put its foot on Argentina and Set its victorious fight in Cuba. Availed losses in Congo Voiced and breathed every millisecond Struggled recklessly for a mission, Freedom, peace & prosperity of all its fellow birds Beyond borders. The most superior of the superior birds With an infinite and complex strings of cunningness Put an end to this bird in Bolivia. At the end, the bird failed Fell a prey for other selfish birds. As a root that fell and Buried itself in the soil with an infinite power. To give hope and shelter, To all those who come under it, For the near future and coming generations The bird died! But its mission ignited the phoenix flames In its bird comrades. Got them to fight for Every drop of Injustice, Imperialism and hatred That came racing towards them As an inescapable bullet Their hearts raised in spirit When every drop of its thought Hit them more fierce than The world’s most powerful atomic bomb. The bird died. But its ideals for the mission Rekindled the fires in their heart. Being born an ordinary bird, Fighting for the most demanded & toughest mission, Its thought and principles Set new leaders to fight the unattainable mission Now, looking the most possible Within an attaining distance The bird lived its life, An ordinary and the most challenging one. But transformed a phoenix, When it left the world. And created more of Daring Phoenix warriors; Attain a world filled with peace and happiness.
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Sep 24, 2018
Sep 24, 2018 at 9:14 AM UTC
Phoenix for the humanity
Birds have their homes. This bird made this world, Its own home. When other birds struggled To make friends beyond their homes, This bird made followers and comrades, Transformed them The perseverent leaders of a challenging mission It put its foot on Argentina and Set its victorious fight in Cuba. Availed losses in Congo Voiced and breathed every millisecond Struggled recklessly for a mission, Freedom, peace & prosperity of all its fellow birds Beyond borders. The most superior of the superior birds With an infinite and complex strings of cunningness Put an end to this bird in Bolivia. At the end, the bird failed Fell a prey for other selfish birds. As a root that fell and Buried itself in the soil with an infinite power. To give hope and shelter, To all those who come under it, For the near future and coming generations The bird died! But its mission ignited the phoenix flames In its bird comrades. Got them to fight for Every drop of Injustice, Imperialism and hatred That came racing towards them As an inescapable bullet Their hearts raised in spirit When every drop of its thought Hit them more fierce than The world’s most powerful atomic bomb. The bird died. But its ideals for the mission Rekindled the fires in their heart. Being born an ordinary bird, Fighting for the most demanded & toughest mission, Its thought and principles Set new leaders to fight the unattainable mission Now, looking the most possible Within an attaining distance The bird lived its life, An ordinary and the most challenging one. But transformed a phoenix, When it left the world. And created more of Daring Phoenix warriors; Attain a world filled with peace and happiness.
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52
Madness Never apologize for feeling too recklessly, the greatest lessons are always learned through Madness
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Jan 23, 2018
Jan 23, 2018 at 5:37 AM UTC
Madness
I loved him carefully; from afar I liked to watch him grow into the man I knew today. I loved him carefully; I watched his moods making sure the outrage stayed as far away from me as I could. I loved him easily... It wasn't hard when his green eyes watched your every move and his lips held pretty words that danced through my ears. But he loved me recklessly; he came at me with full speed ahead on marriage and lack of trust. He loved me dangerously; so much that became afraid to love me at all for fear I would be his all. I loved him carefully and it was too easy to fall apart when he walked away. He loved me recklessly and it had become to dangerous for him to keep me around.
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Jun 17, 2014
Jun 17, 2014 at 8:54 AM UTC
Dangerously easy
I found myself stranded on Neverland with no way to fly and no star to show me the way 'till one night as I closed my eyes a shadow appeared and a boy close on his heels they tumbled and rolled before my feet Boy and Shadow became one and grinned at me "Peter Pan" he said to me playing a tune and swore he just wanted to talk for a while Laying amongst the tiger lilies I so adored and staring up at the stars He asked me to be his When I asked why he simply replied "I once saved you from Captain Hook." "I’ll keep you safe." "I promise you’ll never be lonely.” Foolishly, I agreed and he took me to his Hiding Tree where spiteful Tinkerbell tried to be rid of me for I was Self-Composed, Human & Withdrawn, everything she was not. He taught me how to fly, showed me every nook and cranny of his world by moonlight. And I fell in love with the way, his eyes shone like fireflies and his pure and genuine laugh. He was enthralling and magnetic always so carefree and reckless How wonderful it was 'Till Wendy bird came along for she was Kind, Romantic & Empathetic everything I was not all I could do was watch as they flew through Neverland by moonlight She fell hopelessly in love with his recklessly playful nature and hypnotic charms Yet every night Wendy gazed down to see the girl with the crow feather in her hair laying amongst the flowers she was named with Tinkerbell by her side. Whenever she asked Peter why he simply replied “She is as Wild as she is Beautiful. She cannot be contained by the hollow walls of my Hiding Tree Nor the boundaries of her village." Then one night when Wendy bird left and Peter returned to Hangman’s Tree he found Tiger Lily gone. Every night he’d fly above Neverland only to glimpse her crow feather but all he found was an empty space belonging to her ghost whispering "Peter Pan Take my hand and fly away to Neverland where the beast within can be free" Tinkerbell never did say where she’d gone only to leave her be. Her wild beast no longer had a home. Peter Pan would never see her again He had broken his Lily's heart
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Nov 22, 2015
Nov 22, 2015 at 8:43 PM UTC
Peter Pan
I found myself stranded on Neverland with no way to fly and no star to show me the way 'till one night as I closed my eyes a shadow appeared and a boy close on his heels they tumbled and rolled before my feet Boy and Shadow became one and grinned at me "Peter Pan" he said to me playing a tune and swore he just wanted to talk for a while Laying amongst the tiger lilies I so adored and staring up at the stars He asked me to be his When I asked why he simply replied "I once saved you from Captain Hook." "I’ll keep you safe." "I promise you’ll never be lonely.” Foolishly, I agreed and he took me to his Hiding Tree where spiteful Tinkerbell tried to be rid of me for I was Self-Composed, Human & Withdrawn, everything she was not. He taught me how to fly, showed me every nook and cranny of his world by moonlight. And I fell in love with the way, his eyes shone like fireflies and his pure and genuine laugh. He was enthralling and magnetic always so carefree and reckless How wonderful it was 'Till Wendy bird came along for she was Kind, Romantic & Empathetic everything I was not all I could do was watch as they flew through Neverland by moonlight She fell hopelessly in love with his recklessly playful nature and hypnotic charms Yet every night Wendy gazed down to see the girl with the crow feather in her hair laying amongst the flowers she was named with Tinkerbell by her side. Whenever she asked Peter why he simply replied “She is as Wild as she is Beautiful. She cannot be contained by the hollow walls of my Hiding Tree Nor the boundaries of her village." Then one night when Wendy bird left and Peter returned to Hangman’s Tree he found Tiger Lily gone. Every night he’d fly above Neverland only to glimpse her crow feather but all he found was an empty space belonging to her ghost whispering "Peter Pan Take my hand and fly away to Neverland where the beast within can be free" Tinkerbell never did say where she’d gone only to leave her be. Her wild beast no longer had a home. Peter Pan would never see her again He had broken his Lily's heart
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87
Look into my eyes and you shall see The innocence and solitude in me I am all alone in this massive ball No one to pick me when I fall Touch my body and feel The absence of countless meals I have dug into several bins To find a morsel from trashed tins I have slept on cold hard grounds A better place, still not found I was soaked by the pouring rains And disturbed by noisy trains I have played with broken dolls Drawn with charcoal on overfilled walls I have prayed to all the gods I know Their love makes my soul glow I am a child too Don’t deprive me of you Cuddle me in your arms A little crave for love means no harm I know I am an orphan And might not even get buried in a coffin But don’t shoo me away so recklessly Where is your humanity? Don’t throw that money and walk away Please hear me out or for a while just stay If you know of an orphanage, take me there I no longer want to live in despair. -Zainab Attari
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May 7, 2014
May 7, 2014 at 3:55 AM UTC
Orphan
Here, now, I sit quiet thinking about all the times When like pendulum I was lost in crowds and noises (like pendulum) to and fro. I replay recklessly the jobs that soaked me up and the times of life living no life How quickly we tend to forget the spaces above clouds low on air but high on intoxication The valleys hidden beyond horizon The shrubs welcoming with berries amidst thorns streams and brooks to displease your thirst and the soft bed of moss and grasses The no man land, the nature- full of hospitality I must go there, the place that came searching for me The place I have in my dreams Let me walk out for a while jumping off this walls we built Lets go dancing to the sound of silence Country roads, lead me there Mountains are calling and I must go!
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Oct 29, 2015
Oct 29, 2015 at 11:19 PM UTC
Ode to the Mountains
myopic frames on a stern temple remind me that once he too wandered recklessly and felt ardent empowered by time on his sleeve there was nothing he couldn't conquer and nothing standing between the open air and breathing it in i suppose the difference here is i grab the breath of air and hold it in my pocket for when i stop being so nervous marshmallow heart the road only goes one way and the streetlights hover and coil eternally, you can never meet the epilogue a drive-thru drink in one hand while you feel your hair tangling into a mess of a beehive, the one that likes to unwind in soft tendrils on a weak pillow heart racing for the constant fueling of a near empty tank telling you to go further this time, this time time isn't yours holding in a cough i too have tried to drown waterbugs my cheek pressed against the tiles of a kitchen floor, hand perched languidly as my fingers make circles in the tiny swamp i made in the middle of the room but i forget laying there until i hear my own soul walk in with bare feet addressing the elephant in the room, the one that hasn't left since i was sick with bronchitis that winter years ago and i want to tell her to come here, to come back inside myself so it doesn't feel so cold this season of frost but she brushes me off with the temperament of a child "i don't exist, i never did" the words dawdle back and forth from her back molars to her incisors   and i remember when i felt like i was dying when i hopped from one state to the next but realizing a little to late that if i were to go back my dread would jump on the back of my shoulders and force me to look it into it's shiny face and show me the mild nuisance of what it means to be alive so my soul closes the door and i hear the keys rattle and i myself sink into the warm arms of someone i spent my entire life with
0
Oct 6, 2018
Oct 6, 2018 at 12:32 AM UTC
dream milk
myopic frames on a stern temple remind me that once he too wandered recklessly and felt ardent empowered by time on his sleeve there was nothing he couldn't conquer and nothing standing between the open air and breathing it in i suppose the difference here is i grab the breath of air and hold it in my pocket for when i stop being so nervous marshmallow heart the road only goes one way and the streetlights hover and coil eternally, you can never meet the epilogue a drive-thru drink in one hand while you feel your hair tangling into a mess of a beehive, the one that likes to unwind in soft tendrils on a weak pillow heart racing for the constant fueling of a near empty tank telling you to go further this time, this time time isn't yours holding in a cough i too have tried to drown waterbugs my cheek pressed against the tiles of a kitchen floor, hand perched languidly as my fingers make circles in the tiny swamp i made in the middle of the room but i forget laying there until i hear my own soul walk in with bare feet addressing the elephant in the room, the one that hasn't left since i was sick with bronchitis that winter years ago and i want to tell her to come here, to come back inside myself so it doesn't feel so cold this season of frost but she brushes me off with the temperament of a child "i don't exist, i never did" the words dawdle back and forth from her back molars to her incisors   and i remember when i felt like i was dying when i hopped from one state to the next but realizing a little to late that if i were to go back my dread would jump on the back of my shoulders and force me to look it into it's shiny face and show me the mild nuisance of what it means to be alive so my soul closes the door and i hear the keys rattle and i myself sink into the warm arms of someone i spent my entire life with
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17
I find myself changing as nature does- recklessly and suddenly without notice, and nature is what I come back to in order to heal. Fires are often looked at as destructive forces, And they surely can be, but they can also Rejuvenate. Contrary to popular belief, fires most Often leave a beautiful aftermath. Some examples Being that certain plant seeds only germinate after A fire, new growth is accessible to animals for food, minerals are returned to the soil, and Although many animals are stripped of their Homes- this vacancy creates suitable areas for New species to settle. Similar to how a fire Cleanses the land it nearly destroys, a traumatic life Experience allows an individual to undergo a necessary Amount of growth and change. Whether what we take From a situation leaves us aching or allows us to reflect, We will always unknowingly benefit from the pain. I do My best to keep this at the forefront of my memory when Reminded of the baggage I carry. My healing will continue. and I will make a promise to myself that for every new fire that disseminates through/over my life, I will make amends with it And allow for it to change me in the best way possible.
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Jan 31, 2018
Jan 31, 2018 at 7:55 AM UTC
A better version of myself-
Too far away, oh love, I know, To save me from this haunted road, Whose lofty roses break and blow On a night-sky bent with a load Of lights: each solitary rose, Each arc-lamp golden does expose Ghost beyond ghost of a blossom, shows Night blenched with a thousand snows. Of hawthorn and of lilac trees, White lilac; shows discoloured night Dripping with all the golden lees Laburnum gives back to light. And shows the red of hawthorn set On high to the purple heaven of night, Like flags in blenched blood newly wet, Blood shed in the noiseless fight. Of life for love and love for life, Of hunger for a little food, Of kissing, lost for want of a wife Long ago, long ago wooed. . . . . . . Too far away you are, my love, To steady my brain in this phantom show That passes the nightly road above And returns again below. The enormous cliff of horse-chestnut trees Has poised on each of its ledges An ***** small girl looking down at me; White-night-gowned little chits I see, And they peep at me over the edges Of the leaves as though they would leap, should I call Them down to my arms; "But, child, you're too small for me, too small Your little charms." White little sheaves of night-gowned maids, Some other will thresh you out! And I see leaning from the shades A lilac like a lady there, who braids Her white mantilla about Her face, and forward leans to catch the sight Of a man's face, Gracefully sighing through the white Flowery mantilla of lace. And another lilac in purple veiled Discreetly, all recklessly calls In a low, shocking perfume, to know who has hailed Her forth from the night: my strength has failed In her voice, my weak heart falls: Oh, and see the laburnum shimmering Her draperies down, As if she would slip the gold, and glimmering White, stand naked of gown. . . . . . . The pageant of flowery trees above The street pale-passionate goes, And back again down the pavement, Love In a lesser pageant flows. Two and two are the folk that walk, They pass in a half embrace Of linked bodies, and they talk With dark face leaning to face. Come then, my love, come as you will Along this haunted road, Be whom you will, my darling, I shall Keep with you the troth I trowed.
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4.2k
Drunk
Too far away, oh love, I know, To save me from this haunted road, Whose lofty roses break and blow On a night-sky bent with a load Of lights: each solitary rose, Each arc-lamp golden does expose Ghost beyond ghost of a blossom, shows Night blenched with a thousand snows. Of hawthorn and of lilac trees, White lilac; shows discoloured night Dripping with all the golden lees Laburnum gives back to light. And shows the red of hawthorn set On high to the purple heaven of night, Like flags in blenched blood newly wet, Blood shed in the noiseless fight. Of life for love and love for life, Of hunger for a little food, Of kissing, lost for want of a wife Long ago, long ago wooed. . . . . . . Too far away you are, my love, To steady my brain in this phantom show That passes the nightly road above And returns again below. The enormous cliff of horse-chestnut trees Has poised on each of its ledges An ***** small girl looking down at me; White-night-gowned little chits I see, And they peep at me over the edges Of the leaves as though they would leap, should I call Them down to my arms; "But, child, you're too small for me, too small Your little charms." White little sheaves of night-gowned maids, Some other will thresh you out! And I see leaning from the shades A lilac like a lady there, who braids Her white mantilla about Her face, and forward leans to catch the sight Of a man's face, Gracefully sighing through the white Flowery mantilla of lace. And another lilac in purple veiled Discreetly, all recklessly calls In a low, shocking perfume, to know who has hailed Her forth from the night: my strength has failed In her voice, my weak heart falls: Oh, and see the laburnum shimmering Her draperies down, As if she would slip the gold, and glimmering White, stand naked of gown. . . . . . . The pageant of flowery trees above The street pale-passionate goes, And back again down the pavement, Love In a lesser pageant flows. Two and two are the folk that walk, They pass in a half embrace Of linked bodies, and they talk With dark face leaning to face. Come then, my love, come as you will Along this haunted road, Be whom you will, my darling, I shall Keep with you the troth I trowed.
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74
Your origami snapper came along tucked into my wallet things like that don't travel well but I managed they suffered a lesion to the spine snappers are apparently weak there maybe we can work on growing a backbone together handmade gifts mean the most less, when it was made in whimsy and flimsy more, because it gave me false hope maybe it's a sign like a uke-playing octopus maybe friendship is all I need right now your origami snapper is a great listener It sits on my desk Either mocking or pondering, I can’t tell Snappers are hard to read that way Maybe if we showed more emotion you’d            notice but action requires reaction and somehow the origami rose I made forgot it’s origami thorns But there could be blood on my hands From a beautiful friendship I so recklessly slaughter pulling up roots like weeds adding wistful thinking to inimitable memories
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Jul 10, 2018
Jul 10, 2018 at 11:34 PM UTC
Origami Snapper
Like a drug taken for a quarter century, this writing doesn't help like it use to... See, I'm starting to feel like it's working against me Holding me here in pain and misery Cleverly disguised as creativity I use to lie and say it was a way to get rid of all this negativity But I've spilled so much blood and tears onto stationary ...and not even purely metaphorically... I should be completely empty Hell, I think I might be I think it's moved onto draining my energy Can I still call this writing therapy? Is it healthy or does it keep me from a new me? Holding tightly but in spite of me Hiding a different side of a complex personality A new level of maturity Is it actually helping any? Today it's hard to say, but maybe Unfortunately, it's something I'm good at, a skill I enjoy and I don't have many So I've begun to notice I look at it differently It was suppose to help me let go of the painful unpleasantry held in many a memory But it woke a part of my ego that I didn't know would grip so tightly It might have been a mistake to rely on it so heavily It's no longer moving along the story No cautionary tales to learn from because they never become history It becomes a bookmark that I don't use properly I never move it to the page I left off on and now, I must admit openly, I'm doing it purposely I keep the worst of me right next to me, close as a frienemy All because I notice I DON'T write when I'm happy And I like to write so I dance around emotions strategically I don't know if it's anything worth saying but writing is calling and drawing me in closely A ghostly presence that when I look closely I see my identity It hasn't always been but is now a big part of me But does it want all of me? Can't say either way with any certainty No AH-HA moment, no clarity, only a death grip on disparity So I recklessly walk the line of happy and tragedy Like a DUI test on the side of the freeway, drunken pageantry Eyes closed usually No thought of mine or anyone else's safety Dangerously close to calamity And I just worry ©2024
0
Jan 3, 2024
Jan 3, 2024 at 6:32 PM UTC
~•§•~ I Just Worry ~•§•~
Like a drug taken for a quarter century, this writing doesn't help like it use to... See, I'm starting to feel like it's working against me Holding me here in pain and misery Cleverly disguised as creativity I use to lie and say it was a way to get rid of all this negativity But I've spilled so much blood and tears onto stationary ...and not even purely metaphorically... I should be completely empty Hell, I think I might be I think it's moved onto draining my energy Can I still call this writing therapy? Is it healthy or does it keep me from a new me? Holding tightly but in spite of me Hiding a different side of a complex personality A new level of maturity Is it actually helping any? Today it's hard to say, but maybe Unfortunately, it's something I'm good at, a skill I enjoy and I don't have many So I've begun to notice I look at it differently It was suppose to help me let go of the painful unpleasantry held in many a memory But it woke a part of my ego that I didn't know would grip so tightly It might have been a mistake to rely on it so heavily It's no longer moving along the story No cautionary tales to learn from because they never become history It becomes a bookmark that I don't use properly I never move it to the page I left off on and now, I must admit openly, I'm doing it purposely I keep the worst of me right next to me, close as a frienemy All because I notice I DON'T write when I'm happy And I like to write so I dance around emotions strategically I don't know if it's anything worth saying but writing is calling and drawing me in closely A ghostly presence that when I look closely I see my identity It hasn't always been but is now a big part of me But does it want all of me? Can't say either way with any certainty No AH-HA moment, no clarity, only a death grip on disparity So I recklessly walk the line of happy and tragedy Like a DUI test on the side of the freeway, drunken pageantry Eyes closed usually No thought of mine or anyone else's safety Dangerously close to calamity And I just worry ©2024
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43
i say all the right things always thinking ahead never fully present, just hoping you won't recognize the mask hoping you'll fall in love with silly old me i wear my skinny jeans as a mask, ironically to conceal the fact that i'm both skinny and pale i drone on about helping people, when all i really wanna do is help myself only i can't does that make me a bad person? mostly, i'm pale because i live in a pitch black cave, forever haunted by bullies and ancient wounds it's the wounds that get you early, that are the hardest to heal still, i sometimes venture out of the cave recklessly careful, tequila is my kryptonite upgrades my powers to carefully reckless only i'm no superman i'm the clown that paints his wounds with bright colors that's a lie i'm more like cinderella with a beard always on the clock, waiting for the glass slipper to crack my **** is pretty cute though no kidding it's out there somewhere looking for that beautifully complicated wound hoping, wondering, is it compatible with mine?
0
Apr 3, 2015
Apr 3, 2015 at 2:50 PM UTC
Masquerade
. **Crushes and•• infatuations••• Are but tricks•• played by•••• the heart.•••• Promises••• of love•••• That could•• tear you apart.•• Though you••••• look to••••••••••• The light of day.•••••• Listen carefully•••••••• To what I'm about to say.••• I may be the one•••••••••• Who'd grace your thoughts•••• all day and night.••••••••••••• But I implore you••••••••••••••• to look past tomorrow•••••••••••••• Into the future that's out of sight.••••••• You are ready to carve•••••••••••••••• Ever so recklessly,•••••••••••••••••• In your heart and thoughts••••••• And in the words••••••••• of your poetry.•••••••• But know that••••••• These sweet nothings• you chose to lay,••••• Right now are••••••• mere words•••••••••• With the intention••••••• to sway.•••••••••••••••••• I feel the urge••••••••••••••• To painfully declare.•••••••••• I feel the need•••••••••••••• To tell you what•••••••••• I've longed to bare.•••• That I'm not••••••••••••• remotely interested,••••••••• Nor am I taken in.••••••••••• For your words••••••••••••• have gone around•••••••••• I know where••••••••• they've been...•••••• Should've revised•• your material••••• Before trying••••• on another...••••• Because you•••• had conveyed•• the same••••• to my sister!**
0
Feb 24, 2015
Feb 24, 2015 at 9:09 AM UTC
She Said...
. **Crushes and•• infatuations••• Are but tricks•• played by•••• the heart.•••• Promises••• of love•••• That could•• tear you apart.•• Though you••••• look to••••••••••• The light of day.•••••• Listen carefully•••••••• To what I'm about to say.••• I may be the one•••••••••• Who'd grace your thoughts•••• all day and night.••••••••••••• But I implore you••••••••••••••• to look past tomorrow•••••••••••••• Into the future that's out of sight.••••••• You are ready to carve•••••••••••••••• Ever so recklessly,•••••••••••••••••• In your heart and thoughts••••••• And in the words••••••••• of your poetry.•••••••• But know that••••••• These sweet nothings• you chose to lay,••••• Right now are••••••• mere words•••••••••• With the intention••••••• to sway.•••••••••••••••••• I feel the urge••••••••••••••• To painfully declare.•••••••••• I feel the need•••••••••••••• To tell you what•••••••••• I've longed to bare.•••• That I'm not••••••••••••• remotely interested,••••••••• Nor am I taken in.••••••••••• For your words••••••••••••• have gone around•••••••••• I know where••••••••• they've been...•••••• Should've revised•• your material••••• Before trying••••• on another...••••• Because you•••• had conveyed•• the same••••• to my sister!**
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53
There we sit beneath the cherry blossom tree, You were there, talking to me. The silence, hearing the trees whispering. We were spending all afternoon laughing. I just wonder and I wanted to ask, “Would I belong to you soon?” “Would I ever have you?” I wanted you to know and hear. My heart brings off with no fear. I wanted the way we used to be changed, Not like how we are right now. I wanted something  more if you allow. Talk to my eyes, do you want it too? The voices, I heard them in my head. Talking to myself, forgetting the road ahead. Every way I take, it leads me back to you. Your smiles and the way you move are my sunshine. Being with you makes me feel better than fine. I forgot how the rain used to cover me. I was never meant to leave you recklessly. Until one day, I heard through the grapevines. I was looking and hoping for a sign. Fright drove my heartbeat swifter than the time I trusted you. Why was I not given a cue? Was I asleep when you told me? Was I wishing you dreamingly? Was I looking forward to the future Of you caring and embracing me back? You loved someone you believed, You said she is undeniably stunning... But, you did not have a chance to know her. I had the time of loving you, it felt great. I wondered, “Why did you refuse?” Still, it was just right to forget right away. Someday, the colours would slowly fade Into a beautiful shade of gray. The wretchedness would be an enduring mark... To rather let the mark be the end of the world... Or to look up to the shining sun and restart? Someday, I would learn to love someone better. Someday, I would be laughing at myself and say, “What was the real reason why I loved you?” Cause all I can think of was your foolishness. I could have been dumb when I had you. I used to laugh to our one-liners before. We were just young naive kids. (Now, I learned.....) I was better off giggling with myself. I was better off being with my friends. I used to remember that tree, It was where we used to sit. Do you remember it too? I know you had forgotten. If you ever regret, do not return. ‘Cause you might be hanging your head the next time. But you had been right, always right. “Let go of the beautiful memory When we used to sit beneath the cherry blossom tree.”
0
Feb 28, 2018
Feb 28, 2018 at 7:28 AM UTC
Cherry Blossom Tree
There we sit beneath the cherry blossom tree, You were there, talking to me. The silence, hearing the trees whispering. We were spending all afternoon laughing. I just wonder and I wanted to ask, “Would I belong to you soon?” “Would I ever have you?” I wanted you to know and hear. My heart brings off with no fear. I wanted the way we used to be changed, Not like how we are right now. I wanted something  more if you allow. Talk to my eyes, do you want it too? The voices, I heard them in my head. Talking to myself, forgetting the road ahead. Every way I take, it leads me back to you. Your smiles and the way you move are my sunshine. Being with you makes me feel better than fine. I forgot how the rain used to cover me. I was never meant to leave you recklessly. Until one day, I heard through the grapevines. I was looking and hoping for a sign. Fright drove my heartbeat swifter than the time I trusted you. Why was I not given a cue? Was I asleep when you told me? Was I wishing you dreamingly? Was I looking forward to the future Of you caring and embracing me back? You loved someone you believed, You said she is undeniably stunning... But, you did not have a chance to know her. I had the time of loving you, it felt great. I wondered, “Why did you refuse?” Still, it was just right to forget right away. Someday, the colours would slowly fade Into a beautiful shade of gray. The wretchedness would be an enduring mark... To rather let the mark be the end of the world... Or to look up to the shining sun and restart? Someday, I would learn to love someone better. Someday, I would be laughing at myself and say, “What was the real reason why I loved you?” Cause all I can think of was your foolishness. I could have been dumb when I had you. I used to laugh to our one-liners before. We were just young naive kids. (Now, I learned.....) I was better off giggling with myself. I was better off being with my friends. I used to remember that tree, It was where we used to sit. Do you remember it too? I know you had forgotten. If you ever regret, do not return. ‘Cause you might be hanging your head the next time. But you had been right, always right. “Let go of the beautiful memory When we used to sit beneath the cherry blossom tree.”
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58
There is never nothing new Just rearrange things I don’t write poems I just remove the extra words that are in the way Hold on to the words like whispers and shadows and wings Recklessly insert adjectives Tie it all to your delusions of profundity Dig down deep for pain no matter how senseless Pick at your emotional scabs Bleed No one likes poetry Constantly remind people of that Tell them that you make it sound good to you and **** them (Even though their ovation means everything) Slip, dip and weave With ambiguous wet dreams Full lips and thick tongue Mouthing… Come to an understanding ***** is much better than clean Make it filthy Soil it Make it nostalgic People need to be reassured that you were really ******* up as a kid and that this poetry **** doesn’t just happen to people overnight Make it esoteric That way, when no one knows what the hell you are talking about, you will have a good word to explain why Say things that are so ill mannered that they are weighty I will give you an example “I’m not looking for a girl that is beautiful I'm looking for one just barely ugly enough to **** me” Incite large groups of people to ***** Get so personal that it gives people headaches Expose yourself until everyone is embarrassed for you Spew it all over the bar In a drunken stupor flaunt it lasciviously with your genitals Pour yourself into reckless collisions Drink from your soul until it rots your liver Write until you want to **** yourself then write about that Make it as bitter as a Wal-mart associate Make it so sweet she will swallow it all before looking up at you with eyes like tiny puddles To say, “that was beautiful” (even though it was disgusting) It should be raw It should make you itch It should be like rubbing up against it spreads it It should be like VD Make really long Like it’s your ***** No, Make it really, really long Like its my ***** Make it rhyme I mean don’t Don’t Don’t ever write another ******* poem because I assure you if I did not write it than it must **** and that is how poetry works Michael L Sutter
0
Oct 16, 2011
Oct 16, 2011 at 12:31 PM UTC
How to Write a Poem
There is never nothing new Just rearrange things I don’t write poems I just remove the extra words that are in the way Hold on to the words like whispers and shadows and wings Recklessly insert adjectives Tie it all to your delusions of profundity Dig down deep for pain no matter how senseless Pick at your emotional scabs Bleed No one likes poetry Constantly remind people of that Tell them that you make it sound good to you and **** them (Even though their ovation means everything) Slip, dip and weave With ambiguous wet dreams Full lips and thick tongue Mouthing… Come to an understanding ***** is much better than clean Make it filthy Soil it Make it nostalgic People need to be reassured that you were really ******* up as a kid and that this poetry **** doesn’t just happen to people overnight Make it esoteric That way, when no one knows what the hell you are talking about, you will have a good word to explain why Say things that are so ill mannered that they are weighty I will give you an example “I’m not looking for a girl that is beautiful I'm looking for one just barely ugly enough to **** me” Incite large groups of people to ***** Get so personal that it gives people headaches Expose yourself until everyone is embarrassed for you Spew it all over the bar In a drunken stupor flaunt it lasciviously with your genitals Pour yourself into reckless collisions Drink from your soul until it rots your liver Write until you want to **** yourself then write about that Make it as bitter as a Wal-mart associate Make it so sweet she will swallow it all before looking up at you with eyes like tiny puddles To say, “that was beautiful” (even though it was disgusting) It should be raw It should make you itch It should be like rubbing up against it spreads it It should be like VD Make really long Like it’s your ***** No, Make it really, really long Like its my ***** Make it rhyme I mean don’t Don’t Don’t ever write another ******* poem because I assure you if I did not write it than it must **** and that is how poetry works Michael L Sutter
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67
Reality struck me at midnight My fantasies had fade away As my heart begins to sink even deeper How long have I been dreaming, About a stranger I can’t call my lover? The only stranger whom I allowed To break and mend my heart repeatedly The only stranger whom I loved recklessly And the stranger whom I let myself Get consumed by the love I have The stranger’s face is all I see In the morning when I wake up Until midnight as I go to sleep I dream about him in the day And even when the night falls Until our paths have crossed, We’re no more than just strangers But even if the deity allowed us to meet, And his eyes laid upon me, He will soon forget about it Thus, when the day comes I get tired of dreaming About a stranger I can’t call mine, Only then will I restrain myself And forget about that stranger
0
May 8, 2017
May 8, 2017 at 2:34 PM UTC
Stranger
It was a forbidden love from long ago. Still whispering softly after years and years. It won't stop until it winds around again, dangerously entangling two lives separate. Her heart skips a beat, hasn't done this since years long gone past. What is this!?! She suddenly can't stop the fluttering, she smiles, remembering innocent tender embraces. His plump rosy childish lips. Hers. So similar they were bound by the laws of the universe to meet again, no amount of time or distance could keep them apart. Secret lovers, unbearably passionate that no one but they alone will ever understand. And she waits. Because she knows the power of this and the inevitable. She waits with a hidden smile of joy in her heart. Waiting for his words that will cover her body. They only need a quick glance, to know that yes! This does exist! A forbidden love that can only be allowed to entwine once in a pink full moon. To spare the heartbreak it would cost to others, and knowing that only this way would it ever feel like this any way, to meet more than once in a pink moon would destroy the pureness of this, thing. To remain hidden, known only to the two of them. But this passion makes them to better love the one who awaits at home. The rock at home that each needs to hang on to because to let their wild hearts go recklessly would break them forever. Break the rocks and these star-crossed lovers. Only once when a pink moon comes about, and the universe is forced to unite two hearts again in their strange entangled lives.
0
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 12:50 AM UTC
A pink moon.
It was a forbidden love from long ago. Still whispering softly after years and years. It won't stop until it winds around again, dangerously entangling two lives separate. Her heart skips a beat, hasn't done this since years long gone past. What is this!?! She suddenly can't stop the fluttering, she smiles, remembering innocent tender embraces. His plump rosy childish lips. Hers. So similar they were bound by the laws of the universe to meet again, no amount of time or distance could keep them apart. Secret lovers, unbearably passionate that no one but they alone will ever understand. And she waits. Because she knows the power of this and the inevitable. She waits with a hidden smile of joy in her heart. Waiting for his words that will cover her body. They only need a quick glance, to know that yes! This does exist! A forbidden love that can only be allowed to entwine once in a pink full moon. To spare the heartbreak it would cost to others, and knowing that only this way would it ever feel like this any way, to meet more than once in a pink moon would destroy the pureness of this, thing. To remain hidden, known only to the two of them. But this passion makes them to better love the one who awaits at home. The rock at home that each needs to hang on to because to let their wild hearts go recklessly would break them forever. Break the rocks and these star-crossed lovers. Only once when a pink moon comes about, and the universe is forced to unite two hearts again in their strange entangled lives.
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1
These hands have clawed with blind eyes Chipped nails on fingers working on knots and ties Fingers that recklessly point to reproaches and blames Never to self, righteousness through arrogant claims Now aware, these palms have covered my face in contempt For they've partook in activities; indulgent and unkempt Rubbed skin raw on life's coarse sandpaper Ever searching for the coming of the unanticipated saviour Broken flesh hopeful for newly formed skin Like tattered souls pleading for absolution of sin Only skin deep but unfavourable experiences do fester Expecting the proverbial infection to blow over Here they are, held unclenched and riddled with pocks Weathered and sore from time's infinite mocks Maybe thereafter, will be awaited healing Perhaps soon after, I will be forgiving See now... Hands faced up, parted as halves Asking not for alms but instead your acceptance as salve Take into yours, these knackered, gnarled up palms Let your porcelain-like touch relieve like life reforming balm
0
Sep 3, 2014
Sep 3, 2014 at 10:35 AM UTC
Absolution
When you smile Your teeth tell a story Of never ending words And endless punctuation. When you smile, I can smell your breath Wreaking of every stale cigarette And every stale memory That has ever polluted your tongue And that you continue to relive And that stain every word That you let spill Recklessly From what you call a mouth. Every time you flash that Maybelline painted smile I pity what you were born with Every time you smile, I cant help but feel smug My smile doesn’t stain my words Betraying my secrets My displayed sense of happiness is neither false Nor does it stretch on forever Like some bad Friday night With a bad date In a bad place That you call “fun”. My smile in not tainted By a lifestyle the breeds regret With all it’s unprotected endeavors. But somehow With all your flaws Your inability to make a Self preserving decision You still remain victorious. Over my honest to goodness Absolute genuine attempts At legitimacy.
0
Nov 18, 2011
Nov 18, 2011 at 10:33 AM UTC
Your Smile
Everything flies until it comes crashing, recklessly, into the ground
0
Jul 27, 2014
Jul 27, 2014 at 8:03 AM UTC
Flight (A 10 Word Poem)