The birds' shrill fluting
Beats on the pink blind,
Pierces the pink blind
At whose edge fumble the sun's
Fingers till one obtrudes
And stirs the thick motes.
The room is a close box of pink warmth.
The minutes click.
A man picks across the street
With a metal-pointed stick.
Three clocks drop each twelve pennies
On the drom of noon.
The birds end.
A child's cry ****** the hush.
The wind plucks at a leaf.
The birds rebegin.

As you age and days get shorter,
  do you reach out for the source

Whether family, friends, or playground,
  is the pull a constant source

Is the attraction of returning,
   going home then once again

The final stage in your progression,
—to refresh and rebegin

(Villanova Pennsylvania: March, 2017)

why are you afraid
to wake up out of your daze
to be something different, something new?

why are always following someone around like you don't have a clue
to stand up and do whats right

wake up! wake up! when will you realize you have no friends
they were never there for you through thick and thin

you say you have swagg but do you really
do you really know where you really stand
aren't you tired of your ***** laundry being blown in the fan

are you selling your soul to be popular to be in a clique
ha! ha! ha! that's really funny considering you're not their pick!

what are you doing? satnd up! be a leader! use your own mind!
in my closing remarks this is not the end
life's to short to lend and rebegin
so do me a favor cut off your "friends"
start your life and be ready to begin

I stand in knee deep water
cold and quickly flowing
I cast my fly back and forth
where the water lillie's growing

Strip the line a few times
no bites so cast again
Take a few steps downstream
and simply rebegin

Fish for a while
no nibbles so change the fly
cast over a stump
bite knocks my bait in the sky

Cast back across
the old rotten stump
strip a few feet of line
and feel a little bump

The fight is on
not much but its fun
a green warmouth
catching fish in the sun

My little yellow fly
really does its job
so many little warmouths
on the stump, in a mob

I caught quite a few
not big enough to eat
so I move along
on a rock, I take a seat

Cool water flowing by
I relax in the sun
cast my lure to a point
I consider being done

One final cast
on the edge of some moss
Twitch my wooly ******
gets hammered by a hoss

she goes on a run
fly line is peeling
I can see the backing
drag is loudly squealing

The fight is truly on
I turn her and begin to reel
flashes or silver and green
she has fight left in her still

Tired out she finally gives up
I reel her to my side
an 8-pound bass, selfie
and I let her go in stride

I didn't catch a lot
but had a blue clear sky
If anybody asks if I caught
I'll say, I went didn't I

did I ever think I could get past this
without a relentless spinning of
nostalgia records playing in my head
as we disconnect
admit the nauseous narcissism
that foments within
**** this
should we rebegin?

-c.j.

Many moons have passed
Since I held you in my arms last...

And many more may come
Before I can hold again
But I will continue on to the marching drum
Until our love will rebegin

I have spent many nights
Looking upon the lonely moon
Taking in all the lights
Wishing to be with you soon

I know your heart has folded, retreated
Back within your castle of safe solitude
But my love for you cannot be deleted
It is true, it is of such great magnitude

No words could ever express it
I would wait for you for the rest of my days
But I know you'll come back, so I don't stress it
I will live until then through the haze

But come nightfall
My head turns to the starry sky
Watch the moon bring light to all
Wishing that I could hang my head so high

Many things have I learned
Compare to this patience
Many days my heart has yearned
Slowly fading away with decadence

Oh beautiful one, hold on
Many moons have passed
And it has been far too long
Since I've held you in my arms last...

You came ‘round when I needed you
For that I owe you much
Your loving words caressed me
When we were much too far to touch

I find comfort in your presence
And solace in your arms
So the last thing I would want to do
Is bring you any harm

But you knew I came with baggage
You knew my sorrow was immense
You knew the risk of loving me-
-In my terrible defense  

Please don’t think I never loved you
Please don’t try to curse my name
Don’t perjure yourself into believing
That I didn’t feel the same

I meant each aching syllable
I meant it to my core
Imagine my dejection finding
We could not be anymore

I promise that it’s harder
To say no to someone’s love
When that someone is the person
That you think so highly of

You jumped in while I was drowning
You wiped away my tears
And a small part of me dies
As I evince your deepest fears

I’m who I am because
You took the time to care for me
You listened and you carried a
Portion of my misery

Please know, while I was dying,
So slowly bleeding out,
You plugged the wound so gently
Washing away my rotting doubt

And though you may feel gutted
At this thought of life apart
I’ll extirpate myself before
I fully break your heart

For a brief and lovely moment
Our souls were quite aligned
But matching us is simple proof
Cupid indeed is blind

For at the core we differ
We match like fire matches ice
It took too long for me to realize this
And for that, you pay the price

Apologies mean nothing
If you can’t act out remorse
You’ll want nothing of me
And proscribe me at the source

I’ll be banished, gone forever,
From your mind, and heart, and soul
Until you find the person
That can plug your newfound hole

Hearts never quite recover
From a love that has been lost
So the mind begins to wonder
If it’s really worth the cost

Perhaps the one we find shares
Some same love induced defects
Perhaps the bond forms over
The many love stories we’ve wrecked

But to the point, I’m sorry
Sorry that I’ve let you down
So sad to give back to the world
The wonderful man that I have found

You’ll stay with me forever
My heart branded by your eyes
Thinking of what could have been
With discontented sighs

What could have been will never be
I think this we both know
It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever do-
Watching you permanently go

My heart brakes while I write this
Tears falling down my chin
As the scar painfully rips away
And I feel the bleeding rebegin

closure
doesn’t bring relief
i still feel you
should i grieve?
for what we were
or would have been?
you draw me in
let’s rebegin?

i probably should be
less broken-hearted
but it has ended
as it started
i saw the signs
and chose to ignore them
separation
bittersweet mourning

How to move forward when the bottom falls out
For without the rain we will always feel drout
From him to me and me to him then back again
Why can't I figure in all known factors to rebegin
For I am not stupid, I'm actually quite smart
Yet my equation seems to be bought via dumb cart
I sigh of heavy heart hanging; this nows the known
If only to unravel myself; back up n be regrown