Im begining to hurt again.
I thought everything was fine..
I thought i could make my self happy
Yesterday is my natal day
It was so much ordinary
I celebrate it all by my self
Until the last minute of that day
I was all alone eating my cake and
Reapeting the "happy birthday" song
Reapeting the blowing of candle..
It was so sad that few of them remember it.
But its okay.. im getting use of it
I was fine
ohw! Im not after all..

I don't know what I feel but I am sure that I feel.

Someday I would run into your arm just to smell you and got this heart bump that I love so much. Look at your eyes and loose myself, getting your crazy look at me and give you all.

Other days my mind is strong and keeps reapeting to me that it's not the right thing to do and that I will regret to follow my kind of feelings that I am not even sure about.

Then I go to my bed and everything comes back, I am having flashed of us in the bath, in your room, my clothes falling down as I don't even notice.

And I wake up and I am full of doubts : what if it's all lies, what if I am getting played. I can't throw everything I build since years for just a feeling a "I want to see".

But still I love adventures and I don't believe in love anyway so what do I have to loose : few more years? What if I can win a lot more?

But still all of this is only based on "if" and I can't risk so much.