The way he blows the smoke out
his eyelids slightly lowering
I know he wants me

I touch my finger to the rim of the glass
tell another lie

There’s a way people draw things out of you
in strange places
veils lift
change
find new faces

All night he’s watched me behind a screen of smoke

And then the temperature reached one-hundred-and-ten, I say
so I just rappelled the rest of the way down naked

I look at him
lick the salt on my finger

Surprise crosses my face
not salt
but pomegranate sugar
sweet
the color of blood

He pulls my hand to his lips
his tongue a thick slug of suction
compressing my finger to the roof of his mouth

Teeth graze my knuckle

For several seconds
my eyes can’t rotate

So I was standing knee deep in a river's stream.
What a beautiful day it's every fisherman's dream.
I cast my line out and let the current work.
And every now and then I'd give my pole a ****.

Suddenly I heard the snapping sound of a stick.
I dropped a load in my pants that felt like a brick.
And there standing not more than 50 yards away.
But a grizzly bear in the sparkling sun of May.

I slowly start to back up planning a retreat.
The last thing I want is to be a midday treat.
Well I moved too fast and splashed in the water.
It certainly appeared I'd be this hungry bear's fodder.

So I hit dry ground and climbed the nearest tree.
I thought to myself, Aha, he'll never find me.
Little did I know a bear's prowess for climbing.
Yes that whimpering sound you hear is me whining.

As the bear got closer I thought of my demise.
I planned to be strong despite my painful cries.
I could hear his growling and his teeth were sharp.
My head started swooning and I heard an angel's harp.

But at the last moment the bear heard a sweet sound
And this caused him to **** his head around.
What could be more interesting than some living meat?
Well a gorgeous female bear in the throes of heat.

He quickly rappelled down that tree in great haste.
It's not often that a bear will let a meal go to waste.
As the couple sauntered off I saw him turn his head.
That look said any other day and you'd be dead.

“ Belayer, ready? ”
“ Ready! ”

I stood beneath the tower, staring at you, as you slowly rappelled into my heart. You have this black wavy hair, porcelain skin, expressive eyes, and lips so red and tender. I’ve always dreamt of having a taste of heaven. But I am no more than a mediocre, vulnerable mortal. You, on the other hand, sat on a golden throne of excellence. You are a god of your own kingdom, of your own beliefs.

I marvelled at your existence. You have that uncanny knack of making hearts melt. Mine was made of pure cold ice, yet it succumbed to the flames of your personality. I found myself melting. Dripping uncontrollably onto the ground. Sinking into the depths of your soul.

You
were a jack of all trades; master of almost anything. Impeccable—that’s what you are. Or so I thought.

There I was, begging for a hint of affection. Pleading for a simple attention. A tiny piece of an unwanted shrub lost in a garden full of Juliet roses. I suffered from the realization of a dream lost at birth. This feeling of remorse crawls up like a spider ready to eat its prey. I was the prey, entangled in my own web of imaginations and fantasies. Fear dominated my mind that I decided to bury my feelings. Here inside my heart, they remain silent and untouched.

Months, years passed. And all of a sudden, you desensitized me. You’ve pulled me into some kind of portal where a world full of possibilities awaits. I blinked again to find reality. No other relationship could get as frivolous as ours. What are we, really? My locked-up emotions were raging. I couldn’t stand the ambiguity. Albeit all questions running down my spine, I looked down and cried,
“ Belayer, ready?! ”

My question just echoed through the distance. There was not a single reply. Not even the slightest kind of whisper. I guess you were not yet ready to catch me.


If I fall.

We're just lonely vessels
floating around each other like planets and moons and
we don't ever get to know each other
we send out explorers and land on the surface for a while
take first steps and last steps and leave footprints in the dirt or sand or snow or whatever our planets are made of
but the heaving cacophony of sound and color and blinding light that resides inside
all of that remains hidden
because if an explorer got close enough, if they dived deep enough into our oceans
if they rappelled down our steep canyons
it would destroy them, they would destroy us

I have come to sympathize with the at home workout enthusiast and the tv show aficionado

my sweater of preference is a black zip up hoody whose two front pockets carry my hands when I get too tired of hanging them at my sides
                              ...
I lounge like a lizard. When sun is at its peak, I walk into the yard and lay on the warm cement walkway that leads to the backyard. Toasty. An Argentinian tegu in another lifetime.
                             ...
I’m the only lizard who regulates it body temperature. Toasty when I want to be.
                             ...
I rappelled back down to the group. I was unfastening my harness when my instructor turned to me and said “ you must have  been a lizard in your past life.”