"ramsay" poems
Chef Gordon Ramsay
Cooking food in the kitchen
Yelling at people
Sep 23, 2011
Sep 23, 2011 at 2:56 PM UTC
Pure cane sugartar that sits on teeth,
sits on a canine porch swing
and swings too far, kicking the enamel
siding, wood knots, and greying-thin
windows. More exposed than Brad
Pitt's marriage or JonBenét Ramsay
on the cover of Old World News Daily
in the dentist's office. And there we
are. We're bleached white and burning
beneath paparazzi bulbs and a
a ****** case. Brief case money/
two thousand fourteen and it's still
relevant, still useful blood money.
Novocain lightning flash; burn a tree.
Cali home tucked behind parsley
palms. Fortune teller, baby, O.J. didn't
do it. Not The Juice, not him.
The gloves. The gloves. The gloves.
Comfort of picket fence rainbrushed
paint stripping. Raymour retail
of a mocha-cushion couch half-off
'cause the back's spattered with
toothpaste and taxpayer juice
like Grandma's cancer handbag.
Put your feet up, stay a while.
Don't leave.
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014 at 10:14 AM UTC
Don't get chippy lippy,
where's the ****** spinach Jeff!,
I didn't think you was a two-bit cook,
I thought you were a chef!,
so wheres the ****** spinach Jeff!,
Where's the bleeding turbot, Herbert?,
and where's the feeking risotto,
if I don't get some ****** food soon,
I'll drink a bottle of wine and get blot-toad
Where's the ****** crab, Brad?,
blimey! does it smell high to you!?,
You'll ****** **** someone,
and bleeding get me sued!
By Christos Andreas Kourtis and Larna Kira Kourtis
Apr 17, 2014
Apr 17, 2014 at 5:40 PM UTC
names for no one
named by no one
poems about nothing
poems about everything
aren't they the same thing?
no function, no form
but now is the hour
it's how i get through
to the next one
two packs of cigarettes a day
it is getting expensive
old heartaches aren't forgotten
when nothing takes there place
and cigarettes don't pay the rent
freeform makes people stop listening
agoraphobics don't have much to write about
but need to say something
to someone
i wish i'de never met you.
all you did was hurt me in a way
that keeps on coming back, no matter how much times go by.
it was the way you looked at me,
like i was the ugliest thing that you had ever ******
and it made you feel good to let me know.
and it got worse from there, because you threw me away
and then would sporadically write to let me know
you were gone for good.
you were a total ramsay bolton type.
some days i have a memory and can't breathe or function.
i still have nightmares of you
trying to beat me to death, calling me to list off all the things that are wrong with me.
if i can't forget you, it would be great if someone would cut off your **** sometimes i fantasize about hiring someone to do that to you in your sleep. you could wake up dickless and i could be free of you. but back to the poem:
10 and a half years haven't gotten me anywhere
i've been too old for too long
Bob Dylan
Neil Young
Rolling Stones
Leonard Cohen
Paul Westerberg
everyone is too good for them now,
especially you,
i read that in vice
they made a list of the worst musicians of all time
and all those names were on it.
Johnny Cash was on the list too.
Jun 27, 2017
Jun 27, 2017 at 7:28 AM UTC
Gordon Ramsay decided to pay a visit to Mel's Diner.
When he criticized Mel's food, Mel gave him a shiner.
Now Mel wears an eyepatch because Ramsay jabbed him in the eye with a fork.
He hated Mel's beef and had to have his stomach pumped when he ate Mel's pork.
Ramsay didn't like the waitresses so he told Mel that they had to go.
After years of faithful service, Mel fired Alice, Vera and Flo.
Flo was so angry that she was chomping at the bit.
She told Mel and Gordon Ramsay to kiss her grits.
Ramsay finally had to give up on Mel because his food is so terrible.
Ramsay's job is to help restaurants but he can't perform miracles.
Feb 19, 2018
Feb 19, 2018 at 11:55 AM UTC
When I'm not proud of some of what I have written,
I make myself stay quiet and say,
That you have to write to improve.
When I think "you haven't seen any of my best" (- Marianas Trench, Josh Ramsay),
I tell myself that's okay,
Because I still have the rest of a lifetime
To prove what I'm capable of,
And the only person I need to prove that to:
Is myself.
Jul 30, 2018
Jul 30, 2018 at 2:42 AM UTC
i know i dont live in a movie
this isnt an episode of skins, my name isnt cassie
but i didnt eat for three days just so i could be lovely
and you didnt even notice me
maybe thats why the only musician ive really related to lately is josh ramsay
it's been a decade since its release but im still looping 'fix me'
when you hit the bottom of the marianas trench youve got to pick up a shovel and start digging
but once you get through the mantle and past the core
suddenly you're not going down anymore
Mar 13, 2018
Mar 13, 2018 at 11:25 PM UTC
Letters
A word
A phrase
That form a sentence.
It's a new beginning,
If you can see past the present,
At a glorious future,
Van gogh's crayon scribbles
Ramsay's teenage nibbles
Jordan's first shaky dribbles
And this thing,
A letter.
Jun 29, 2015
Jun 29, 2015 at 11:42 PM UTC
Another cake turned into a lie
Sweet nothing is all that it contained
Expired ingredients or fault in the recipe
Have i overcooked and burned you off
Left your feelings in the garbage dump
Tossed a cherry on the top when it could have been used
To make things right
I really want this cake to work out
Be my Ramsay, teach me cooking
Together we can do it.
Feb 17, 2018
Feb 17, 2018 at 3:18 AM UTC