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mariamme Apr 2018
i am broken and i want to be whole
death is stained on my fingertips
he loves the taste of my tears
so i wash my face too often

why am i so broken
there is no meaning in the cracks of my soul
i fill my life with comfort and
still death is always behind me

my throat is so swollen
from pollen and panic attacks
that ravage my body and
rip out the seams in my story

i've lost myself and
though i spent months seeking myself
all i see in the mirror is unspent
potential for depression to run me aground again

there is no wayfinder in my heart
like yours, with your goals
as a GPS and your achievements
like landmarks in your mother's hallway

i write beginnings
of sentences that now are
litter on the floor of my mind
because no words encompass my fear

and now endings are all i can think of
but i don't want to be another
face on the obituary, lost
amid painful goodbye's and small typeface
disjointed thoughts, as always. i'm getting worse and worse as a writer as my apathy continues to grow. i just want a steaming bowl of pasta puttanesca and a couple seasons of pokemon to distract me from anxiety + this ******* cloud over my head.
PJ Poesy May 2016
Stars jostling whatever wishes
Nets cast upon heedless fishes
To do or not to do the dishes
Just is what is all this show biz

Putting flowers in a vase
Something that might give you pause
All that is and ever was
Much to much such harm caused

To be still and to never utter
Chrysalis' desire to ever flutter
Simple wanting and none the other
Bind a dream and watch it smother

How should Spring be so cruel?
Fledgling discarded as a fool
Not all adhere to golden rule
Who'll you'll find inferior saccule?
gleck Jan 2016
People say that growth is a lifelong journey.
Talk about the scheduled trip like it's to the most holy place.

I can leave I had a talk with my attorney.
I have packed my bags and I'm ready for the new taste.

Where is this fantastic place called the future?
Ananya Kalahasti Nov 2017
Our first kiss was in my basement, one year,
and three hundred and forty-seven days ago,

his lips tasted like the saccharine double chocolate chunk ice cream
that he licked off my spoon just minutes ago, beard
brushing against the soft bottom of my chin,
                                                           ­                   his hand slipped
into mine as we walked away from yet another birthday celebrated,
it’s been seven since we first became friends

and his hands have finally stopped trembling.

Her eyes convey concern as her head slowly rises up from mine.

“This is a bad idea.”
In her face, against the lightly accented string lights

I see his eyes, tears welling up,

I know I can’t do this, I can’t kiss her, I can’t lose her

I can’t betray him.

I know this is wrong but

I love her and as she leans back down our lips crash together,
hers are plain, soft, safe,

When he cries, he sniffles more than he sobs, when I see him sad, powerless,
my heart cracks, I made a promise in my basement to never be the cause of this suffering,

my right hand runs through her soft hair, twirled between my *******
left hand resting on her cheek, I can feel that under her eyelid she is helpless,
I feel powerless, captivated by the twinkle in her eyes when she laughs,

I feel as though I am held hostage in her arms, yet a wave of freedom washes over me,

I don't know how I feel all I know is I don't yet want this to end,

we both want this,

yet I tell him it is my fault, I hold him close to my chest, my fingers run through
his wildly curly hair,
                     she pulls me closer as we continue to fight rationality,
and in this moment, we are breathing in synchrony, I taste nothing saccharine,

only feeling her soft lips and a bittersweet moment

edit: this poem was written as an assignment for my poetry class, in which we were told to put ourselves in the shoes of a character who had made a life changing decision that we ourselves would never make. i would never cheat, this poem was written as pure fiction with no basis in real life.
Brother moon,
do we dream the same dreams
in the valley of black sheep?
My lovers eyes are the size of you
and I yearn only to sleep.
Beneath the freckled sky, be easy,
forgotten, you and I.
Brother moon,
do you weep for sister sun
the way I weep for you?
Can children still on Earth a'run
when you cast your soul's great blue?
Brother moon
will you take me, come afternoon?
To my house of lonesome joy
Brother moon,
do you dream my dream?
Or are you just another boy,
basking in my gloom?
Stxlle Mar 10
Let me be someone
to her, to him, to me
Let me mean something
to someone, to anyone

Take me somewhere
where I can find myself
I've lost who I am
without really knowing who that was

Probably because I left

I walked away from everything
I walked away from the people who hurt me
I was afraid they'd see me
so I built a wall

A wall even I couldn't break
Now, I no longer know the person behind it

The wall made me forgetful and cold
I've been to places I don't remember
I've created memories I won't cherish
I've looked in the mirror and saw someone else
I've hid so much that I've forgotten who I was. I've changed myself so much just to please and fit in with people that now, I'm really lost. I'm still asking myself what I need to do to change that
His cement touch grasped my lungs,
cracking down on the system we had made.
My mind is not quiet until it is numb,
compacting a road for old memories' sake.
This ground takes place in the back of my head,
the gravel makes bumps I always displace.
No one will come; calling 'No Road Ahead'
I am lost in this part for most of my days.
The colder it is, the more likely I'll freeze,
keep driving this way to try and find home.
Frozen in time, I don't know the ease,
between what is 'home' and a house no one knows.
I isolated my heart from the world because nobody cares,
it is worthless to think of myself with emotion.
I'd rather continue just driving this way,
and force myself to keep going through the motions-
All feedback is welcome and appreciated!
andromeda green Apr 2018
Are you okay?
Are you alright, are you fine, are you good?
Are you adequate, are you decent?
Are you emotionally stable, sleeping without crying, smiling because you want to?
Are you breathing without questioning, are you waking up without trying, are you eating without throwing up?
Are you reading this poem right now and thinking no?
Are you thinking for the first time, will I ever be okay?

You will be okay.
You will be alright, you will be fine, you will be good.
You will be adequate, you will be decent.
You will be emotionally stable, you will sleep without crying, and smile for the happiness blooming inside of you.
You will breathe without questioning, you will wake up to a new day, you will eat easily
are going to be okay.
So please smile sunshine
It’s a fine new day
To be okay :)

- a.g.
just a reminder that everything gets better folks. please, please hang in there. i believe in each and one of y'all.

UPDATE: thank you so so so much for 7.9k. the overwhelming amount of comments and messages and loves make me feel so happy to spread this poem. thank you.
As Eyes close to this reality
They open up to Dream
Where nothing makes sense
In retrospect and nothings
As it seems

Yet it lingers into real-time
That moment in the morning
When I’m dreaming yet awake
and I find myself wondering
Which reality is real.
Rhiannon Mar 2018
If I were to tell you I liked a girl,
Would you be ashamed?
Would you make me confess my sins at Church?
On a Bible my hand laid.

If I were to kiss her delicate ribs,
Count them one by one,
Would you taunt me with the one Adam gave up?
Try to change me by force and shun.

If I were to fall in love with her brilliant mind,
Would you drown me in my doubts?
Condemn me to a life of a lie confined,
By your mockery and your shouts.

If I were to caress her beautiful soul,
With tender words and care,
Would you wound me with words of hate?
Your anger making knots in my hair.

If I were to tell you I liked a girl,
Someone the same *** as I,
Would you accept me and embrace change?
Or wouldn't you even try?
Shannon Soeganda Nov 2018
Little bunny was so adored,
Little bunny then grew up
as Peter Rabbit.

Peter Rabbit was so loved,
Peter Rabbit now becomes
Her guinea pig.

Alice was her name,
Alice in the Wonderland.
Alice liked Peter,
but treated the rabbit no better than a mere guinea pig;
for her experiment—
in her Wonderland.
Thanks for experimenting on me, *****.
Shelton Watts Oct 2018
What’s the main goal?
The *** of gold at the end of the rainbow
The sunlight at the end of each night

Is it the impossibility of eternal love?
The possibility of happiness
The desire of satisfaction
The believe in a afterlife

How do we ever know?
What questions are right to ask?
How do we know what’s wrong and what’s right
Do we succeed Do we find love Do we find happiness
Or do we just survive with what we are given and hope for the best
mc ish Feb 10
reanalyzing and realizing
there is nothing in me that cannot be
giggling and dangling
something inside of me does not belong
to the decision this piece of paper has called me
she believes the height of my exposure and the greatness of my pride
will be the death of me
just wait and see
i do not like the love i see
i wish to be More
i wish to be Me
she says that person does not exist
so i will frame her on the wall
i will make contact everyday
i use it as reminder that i will never be what they want of me
all my life, my heart has sought a thing i could not name.
Matthew Jan 13
They are there at my worst and that's about it
They provided me a place to stay
But it's not like I asked for this life with them
or life whatsoever
I'm surrounded by people
But I'm truly alone.
Katinka Sep 2018
the one with messy brown hair
brown eyes
with you birthmark over the left side of your face.
You who left me crying.
You who made me believe in love for the first time.
You who stole my first kiss
first time

with your straight blonde hair
blue eyes
and that stupid smirk
You who left me broken
You who showed me a new way of living
You who left me being second choice
second best

with your dark blonde hair
hazel eyes
you with your beautiful hands
You who left me angry
You who showed me a different way of love
You who went with me on my third concert
third love

with your curly brown hair
hazel eyes
with your cute braces you never liked
You who left me questioning
You who showed how hard love can be
You who decided I wasn´t worth it
You never happend
We never did.

with wavy dark brown hair
hazel eyes
with freckles on my face

I who loved everyone of you
but still couldnt forget you,
number two

I who loved everyone of you
but you left me wanting more,
number four

I who loved everyone of you
was being loved.
but not anymore.
Usally I write my poems on paper first, and then I will reread them and think about them, may make some changes and then upload them here. But in this very second I am just so full of emotion that I want to write and I want it to be honest so no rereading or correcting. Just me.
Omni Winters Oct 2018
What is it like to think with your brain?

What is it like to think with such a mind like yours?

I want to look into your soul, to see who you really are.

I want to explore the depths of your beautiful and complex mind.

How does it feel to have such intelligence?

Is everything about logic and rationalizing ideas?

I wonder how you feel.

I want to know your emotions.

I want to know your heart:

Who do you love?
What do you love?
   What are your interests?
  What are your passions?

I want to know everything.

How is it that I have such an amazing person presently in my life,
and I don't know anything about them?

You're such a mystery.

A lock that won't budge.

Why is that lock so stubborn?

© 2018 Omni Winters
October 1st, 2018
PiLomus Jul 2018
Identifying this domain, naming it life,
Thinking am I the main, just hiding in disguise,
Exploring the world gaining in size,
Singing endless stories to my side,
Working for the day when answer will become one,

Myriad possibilities are there to come,
Questioning is this the one or someone else has to hum,

The dreams becoming reality,
when life will be calling and acceptance will come.
All will fathom one and one will fathom all.
A journey will welcome a journey in rise.
One will start understanding the blunder,
And never will the veracity of a dream be in plunder,
A proliferating uncovering will arise,
And Sapiens will ask Is this world suffice?
Life is full of possibilities if you are possible.
I know you’ve heard these words before
I've said them many times before
I wish that I could use them more
To make things better like before

There was a time these words had meaning
Sheathed in heartfelt cries and feelings
But a shaman who can't heal
Is just a man and nothing more

Like worn-out, old and ***** pennies
Now diluted by the many
There's so many, many pennies
Don't care there's one on my floor

My cries of “wolf” no longer heeded
When these words are truly needed
To the darkness they've receded
Blindly searching for that door

In my chest still beats a heart
While pained regret tears it apart
Can't fix or go back to the start
And you don’t want me anymore

My anger and my finger pointing
Foolishly like I'm anointed
Not the one you are annoyed with
You were wrong; I was so sure

Attentively I listened to you
In-and-out my ears your words flew
Silenced; Gave no value to you
Truth revealed strikes at my core

Awakening I newly have
With gained awareness of how bad
I took for granted what I had
A rolling tide erodes the shore

Alone I sit and think of when
We were not lovers just good friends
Fun times together that we’d spend
And from that my heart starts to soar

Reality then brings me back
Jolts like a sudden heart attack
A deep sharp pain gives me a whack
I scream until my lungs are sore

Can't fix the memories or replace
My nightmares wake me; Teary-faced
Past filled with guilt, shame and disgrace
Start questioning what life is for
October 13, 2017

All rights reserved.
Kia Aug 2018
what are these feelings i'm feeling?
this rush of emotion clawing at my skin
the excitement of it all sending me reeling
                             to a spiral i cannot escape from
                             is this love? lust? general trust?
                             why does she make me act as so?
                             the curve of her smile brings me
                                                              ­                       down
                                                            ­                                  down
                          ­                                                                 ­           down
                                                 ­                                                               to­ a
                                                                ­                                            chasm
                                                                ­                                              i care
                                                                ­                                             not to
                                                                ­                                            escape
                                                                ­                                              from.
Katia Arkasa Aug 2018
I fall in love with married men
With the guy
Who's got a "thing" against marriage
With the guy
Who's killed a guy
   I fall in love
      With men I shouldn't

Because they all told me to
Movies and novels and operas
In ear-piercing Sopranos
Love stories are tragic!
Some unjust external force must tear us apart
It's our families, timing, war duties, my
Dietary restriction of only drinking

No one talks about a lover giving up
Because "I don't love you anymore"
Cuts deeper
The wound of fate no longer leaves you bleeding out
And longing
Those words slit new veins open from the inside
Fills your lungs, bursts your egos
Choke on the rejection, die drowning in the loneliness
Wonder how you'll live without him
Wonder what you did
Wonder what you could have done
The blame is on you

This is the difference between melancholic aching
And soul-shattering, identity questioning

So don't tell me "I saw it coming"
When the next guy I bring to a wedding
Sells ice online or has three kids
I already know
I choose to fall in love with men
Who will destroy themselves
But never leave
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