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"querulous" poems
Love, though for this you riddle me with darts, And drag me at your chariot till I die,— Oh, heavy prince! O, panderer of hearts!— Yet hear me tell how in their throats they lie Who shout you mighty: thick about my hair, Day in, day out, your ominous arrows purr, Who still am free, unto no querulous care A fool, and in no temple worshiper! I, that have bared me to your quiver’s fire, Lifted my face into its puny rain, Do wreathe you Impotent to Evoke Desire As you are Powerless to Elicit Pain! (Now will the god, for blasphemy so brave, Punish me, surely, with the shaft I crave!)
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Four Sonnets: 01 (Love, Though For This You Riddle Me With Darts)
"No, the serpent did not ****** Eve to the apple. All that's simply Corruption of the facts. Adam ate the apple. Eve ate Adam. The serpent ate Eve. This is the dark intestine. The serpent, meanwhile, Sleeps his meal off in Paradise - Smiling to hear God's querulous calling."
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Theology
Out in the children’s playground On the wasteland, near the flat, There once was a shiny roundabout They called ‘The Witches Hat’, It hung from a greasy centre pole And would spin, just like a top, For once that we set it spinning It would take an hour to stop. They painted the Hat in black shellac So it gleamed beneath the sun, But stood like an evil entity, in the dark When the day was done, We never ventured abroad by night For the land, we thought, was cursed, With the Witches Hat a reminder of Just what had stood there first. Once it had been a Magic Wood With Elves, and Grimms and Ghosts, Witches covens and Goblins ovens We heard about the most, The land was cleared for a new estate And they called the land a park, But nights you heard the muffled shuffle Of dancing, in the dark. It was then that they set the Witches Hat Up on a pole to spin, One of us ran around with it While others sat on the brim, We always ran with it clockwise Then stood back to count the spins, For Mother Malloy had warned us Never to turn it widdershins. She said it would stop the earth, and that The sun would go back down, The Prince of Darkness lay in wait For the Witches Hat, his crown, We thought that she must be bonkers And we laughed each time she frowned, But never would spin the Witches Hat Not once, the other way round. But then on an Autumn afternoon When the nights were coming in, Mother said, ‘Take your brother out, Go take him out for a spin.’ She wanted to clean the house, she said, ‘And you’re always in the way!’ So I took young Robin out with me, He’d just turned four that day. I put him up on the Witches Hat And I spun, and spun him round, But Robin was a querulous child And he cried, to put him down. So then in a bloody-minded mood And after a dozen spins, I stopped the Hat and I turned it round, And ran with it, widdershins. It must have been almost dusk by then For the sun dropped into the ground, The Moon came up with a silver beam And it lit the whole surround, I ran as fast as I’d ever run And the Hat spun like a top, Robin sat on the opposite side So I’d see him, once I’d stop. I ran until I was out of breath Then I stopped to watch it spin, But no-one was on the Witches Hat And I felt the fear begin, I searched and scoured the land around And I crawled beneath the Hat, The little fellow had disappeared So I ran back home to the flat. I’ll always remember that awful day, The day when the fates were cast, I’d spun him into the future, or I’d left him there in the past, I shouldn’t have turned it widdershins But now can’t bring him back, At night it gleams in a pale moonbeam That terrible Witches Hat! David Lewis Paget
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Dec 27, 2013
Dec 27, 2013 at 12:16 AM UTC
The Witches Hat
Out in the children’s playground On the wasteland, near the flat, There once was a shiny roundabout They called ‘The Witches Hat’, It hung from a greasy centre pole And would spin, just like a top, For once that we set it spinning It would take an hour to stop. They painted the Hat in black shellac So it gleamed beneath the sun, But stood like an evil entity, in the dark When the day was done, We never ventured abroad by night For the land, we thought, was cursed, With the Witches Hat a reminder of Just what had stood there first. Once it had been a Magic Wood With Elves, and Grimms and Ghosts, Witches covens and Goblins ovens We heard about the most, The land was cleared for a new estate And they called the land a park, But nights you heard the muffled shuffle Of dancing, in the dark. It was then that they set the Witches Hat Up on a pole to spin, One of us ran around with it While others sat on the brim, We always ran with it clockwise Then stood back to count the spins, For Mother Malloy had warned us Never to turn it widdershins. She said it would stop the earth, and that The sun would go back down, The Prince of Darkness lay in wait For the Witches Hat, his crown, We thought that she must be bonkers And we laughed each time she frowned, But never would spin the Witches Hat Not once, the other way round. But then on an Autumn afternoon When the nights were coming in, Mother said, ‘Take your brother out, Go take him out for a spin.’ She wanted to clean the house, she said, ‘And you’re always in the way!’ So I took young Robin out with me, He’d just turned four that day. I put him up on the Witches Hat And I spun, and spun him round, But Robin was a querulous child And he cried, to put him down. So then in a bloody-minded mood And after a dozen spins, I stopped the Hat and I turned it round, And ran with it, widdershins. It must have been almost dusk by then For the sun dropped into the ground, The Moon came up with a silver beam And it lit the whole surround, I ran as fast as I’d ever run And the Hat spun like a top, Robin sat on the opposite side So I’d see him, once I’d stop. I ran until I was out of breath Then I stopped to watch it spin, But no-one was on the Witches Hat And I felt the fear begin, I searched and scoured the land around And I crawled beneath the Hat, The little fellow had disappeared So I ran back home to the flat. I’ll always remember that awful day, The day when the fates were cast, I’d spun him into the future, or I’d left him there in the past, I shouldn’t have turned it widdershins But now can’t bring him back, At night it gleams in a pale moonbeam That terrible Witches Hat! David Lewis Paget
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81
With querulous turpitude, I stood Disdainful denied reassurance; Selfless. My crying heart The echo of the wind rebuking All that is remaining of what I used to be. Grotesque deformities my reflection The pain of pure love etched In dreams of aeons passed. Hideous beauty a frightening peace A sweetness I founded corrupt; Hell my heaven My paradise. Honesty a musical once writhing in my breast A seraph convoking legions, Now wings out-stretched I break my own treacherous heart A fiend of Heaven a demon of Hell The first fallen Unto likeness absolved The pennated breadth of twilight Breeding familiarities contempt- I have wearied myself, O God, And I am consumed, Resolute of inequity. He that is down need not fear plucking, Experience is the teacher of fools And a gentle lie turneth away inquiry: If the mountain will not go to Mahomet, Mahomet must go to the mountain; The nakedly wan mantic Velleity to tear Christ's body Malapert, before the ruddy shoal; Society covers a multitude of sins Within the penitent sanctity of Heaven's holocaust, in which No man can serve two masters- Oh that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest Eternal and absolute, An angelic image of my shadowed self!. ELEETE J MUIR
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Jan 13, 2012
Jan 13, 2012 at 8:35 AM UTC
Lucifer (Extended Edit)
[These statues were exhibited at the Metropolitan Museum after the sculptor's death. The figures alluded to are the famous statue of Abraham Lincoln, and the monument in memory of Mrs. Henry Adams, the original of which is in the Rock Creek Cemetery at Washington. --Max Eastman] POET, thy dreams are grateful to the air And the light loves them. Tho' they murmur not, Their carven stillness is a music rare, And like the song of one whose tongue hath caught The clear ethereal essence of his thought. I hear the talkers come, the changing throngs That with the fashions of a day surround Thy visions, and I hear them quell their tongues, And hush their querulous shoes upon the ground; Thy dreams are with the crown of silence crowned-- Though they feel not the glowing diadem, Who sleep for aye in their cool shapes of stone. Nor ever will the sunlight waken them, Nor ever will they turn their eyes and moan, To think that their brief Poet's life is gone. The tender and the lofty soul is gone, Who eyed them forth from darkness, and confessed His spirit's motion in unmoving stone. His praise upon no mortal tongue doth rest; By these unwhispering lips it is expressed. Soon will the ample arms of night withdraw Her shuffling children from the twilit hall-- From that heroic presence, in dim awe Of whom the dark withholds a while her pall, And leaves him luminous above them all. Then are ye lost in darkness and alone, Ye ghostly spirits! And the moment rare Doth quicken that too sad and nameless stone, To move her robe, and spill her sable hair, And be in silence mingled with the air; For she is one with the dim glimmering hour, And the white spirits beautiful and still, And the veiled memory of the vanished power That moulded them, the high and infinite will That earth begets and earth does not fulfil.
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The Saint Gaudens Statues
[These statues were exhibited at the Metropolitan Museum after the sculptor's death. The figures alluded to are the famous statue of Abraham Lincoln, and the monument in memory of Mrs. Henry Adams, the original of which is in the Rock Creek Cemetery at Washington. --Max Eastman] POET, thy dreams are grateful to the air And the light loves them. Tho' they murmur not, Their carven stillness is a music rare, And like the song of one whose tongue hath caught The clear ethereal essence of his thought. I hear the talkers come, the changing throngs That with the fashions of a day surround Thy visions, and I hear them quell their tongues, And hush their querulous shoes upon the ground; Thy dreams are with the crown of silence crowned-- Though they feel not the glowing diadem, Who sleep for aye in their cool shapes of stone. Nor ever will the sunlight waken them, Nor ever will they turn their eyes and moan, To think that their brief Poet's life is gone. The tender and the lofty soul is gone, Who eyed them forth from darkness, and confessed His spirit's motion in unmoving stone. His praise upon no mortal tongue doth rest; By these unwhispering lips it is expressed. Soon will the ample arms of night withdraw Her shuffling children from the twilit hall-- From that heroic presence, in dim awe Of whom the dark withholds a while her pall, And leaves him luminous above them all. Then are ye lost in darkness and alone, Ye ghostly spirits! And the moment rare Doth quicken that too sad and nameless stone, To move her robe, and spill her sable hair, And be in silence mingled with the air; For she is one with the dim glimmering hour, And the white spirits beautiful and still, And the veiled memory of the vanished power That moulded them, the high and infinite will That earth begets and earth does not fulfil.
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36
I do not like my state of mind; I'm bitter, querulous, unkind. I hate my legs, I hate my hands, I do not yearn for lovelier lands. I dread the dawn's recurrent light; I hate to go to bed at night. I snoot at simple, earnest folk. I cannot take the gentlest joke. I find no peace in paint or type. My world is but a lot of tripe. I'm disillusioned, empty-breasted. For what I think, I'd be arrested. I am not sick, I am not well. My quondam dreams are shot to hell. My soul is crushed, my spirit sore; I do not like me any more. I cavil, quarrel, grumble, grouse. I ponder on the narrow house. I shudder at the thought of men.... I'm due to fall in love again.
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Symptom Recital
"Are you mad at me?" "I wouldn't say 'mad.'" I'd say captious petulant furious acrimonious irritable querulous sour acerbic peevish ornery livid vicious. No, of course I'm not mad at you.
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Jul 15, 2013
Jul 15, 2013 at 7:40 PM UTC
Mad? No.
sunsets and rainbows stain the canvas, sky an onslaught of color mark the once blind clouds in a world delusional of beauty irrational yet auburn sunlight where the demons fight hear the haunting tune of sweetest sorrow the scarred melody its bitter determination the powdered crayons and drifting wind feel the pastel snowflakes of one Wonderland winter with espoir and a turn of winds no vouloir can't be reached the cold breeze finds tinkling glass and the echo of windchimes ethereal and plain old jane she dulls the pain all factors in life where she'll always care the querulous kind the insecure kind but deep down inside hides a love overflowing its beauty like roses yet as wild as their thorns a smile like gunfire but a heart closed in ice so stays in denial a stretch of black and white a blur in one's vision now faded to gray an unforseen wind with strange predicaments perhaps it was all a hallucination? - - -
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Jul 5, 2013
Jul 5, 2013 at 1:08 PM UTC
ballad of strangers
A querulous cry from my peckish feline failed to rouse me from sleep: thus, teeth entangled in the meat of my palm, this hideous beast bucked conventional wisdom in deciding to bite a hand to prompt a feeding. Concurrently I am considering the adage of there being more than one way to skin a cat.
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Oct 10, 2012
Oct 10, 2012 at 7:32 PM UTC
Impulsive
How could this have happened? Life took its time and tortured me. Taunting, malicious, evil. I lived a melancholy life. The people weren’t enough. I desired more. I desired love. I desired my other half. Just when I thought I was forever alone, Unexpectedly, he appeared. He cared, gave me his everything. He took his time with me. I should’ve recognized the foreboding. We all want happiness, no one wants pain, But we can’t have a rainbow without a little rain. Even then, rainbows don’t last forever. Life, You’re wicked. You want to hurt me. When I wanted to pick a fight, You started running. You don’t care about me. You don’t care about young love. Ripping my heart out. Tearing apart his. When someone thinks of you, life, They think of you being balanced. A sprinkle of unfairness, A sprinkle of happiness. You surprised all the guileless ones You are judicious; an ill-humored dowdy. Maybe you’re just a querulous old women, Tired of ignorant pests. Or maybe you were just born with a blackened heart. But, now when I ask you for a reason why, You curl up in a ball, roll away and let me cry. What a coward. Conniving little ***** What comes around goes around, You’ll get your share, Three times worse. Think you’re so contumacious? What is it? You desired more? You desired love? You desired someone else? Are you jealous? Don’t be tremulous about the topic. Something will happen to you… Your soul mate awaits you, But for now, Please, be kind to me.
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Sep 17, 2012
Sep 17, 2012 at 4:01 AM UTC
You Are Rebarbative
How could this have happened? Life took its time and tortured me. Taunting, malicious, evil. I lived a melancholy life. The people weren’t enough. I desired more. I desired love. I desired my other half. Just when I thought I was forever alone, Unexpectedly, he appeared. He cared, gave me his everything. He took his time with me. I should’ve recognized the foreboding. We all want happiness, no one wants pain, But we can’t have a rainbow without a little rain. Even then, rainbows don’t last forever. Life, You’re wicked. You want to hurt me. When I wanted to pick a fight, You started running. You don’t care about me. You don’t care about young love. Ripping my heart out. Tearing apart his. When someone thinks of you, life, They think of you being balanced. A sprinkle of unfairness, A sprinkle of happiness. You surprised all the guileless ones You are judicious; an ill-humored dowdy. Maybe you’re just a querulous old women, Tired of ignorant pests. Or maybe you were just born with a blackened heart. But, now when I ask you for a reason why, You curl up in a ball, roll away and let me cry. What a coward. Conniving little ***** What comes around goes around, You’ll get your share, Three times worse. Think you’re so contumacious? What is it? You desired more? You desired love? You desired someone else? Are you jealous? Don’t be tremulous about the topic. Something will happen to you… Your soul mate awaits you, But for now, Please, be kind to me.
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51
He fumbles with the **** and clicks the door half-open, blinking silently at us as we pile out of the van, his owlish eyes peering. He struggles to find words after so many long days-- good words for his grand-nephews, words of strength for his grand-nieces-- and Chinese words stumble out. He stands silent for seconds, halted in the midst of a sentence, searching for the English. So we try to fill the still house with life and noise. It is grey and large, with blank, staring windows and empty beds. Our laughter does not echo well in its long hallways, muted by the weightless, suspended air. We eat at the kitchen table, and I watch him. He seems so strong sitting there, deceptively powerful, corded arm muscles and heavily veined hands and silver hair, carefully combed in a wave that was dashing forty years ago. Then he stirs, stands and shuffles slowly to the sink. The illusion of strength falls away. He is a worn old man-- tired and sad. Quietly I wait behind him as he washes his hands, then pauses, confused, wrinkled eyes querulous and vague, and slowly washes them again. The rhythmic movements of his once sure fingers rub in an unchanging pattern from when he was young. I remember many years ago, --when I was even younger than now-- I remember him looking at me, I remember seeing my dark and warped reflection in his wise, laughing eyes. I thought surely he was the most dignified of men: alive and slow and gentle, quietly commanding respect, his amiable face in permanent creases from too much kind smiling. Now those wrinkles have faded. The faint lines no longer trace across his face, and his house is quiet. My great-uncle is alone. Alone with the countless photos of her. They are fading slowly in the streaming sunlight-- together.
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Apr 23, 2013
Apr 23, 2013 at 9:07 PM UTC
Four Years After the Death of my Great-Aunt
He fumbles with the **** and clicks the door half-open, blinking silently at us as we pile out of the van, his owlish eyes peering. He struggles to find words after so many long days-- good words for his grand-nephews, words of strength for his grand-nieces-- and Chinese words stumble out. He stands silent for seconds, halted in the midst of a sentence, searching for the English. So we try to fill the still house with life and noise. It is grey and large, with blank, staring windows and empty beds. Our laughter does not echo well in its long hallways, muted by the weightless, suspended air. We eat at the kitchen table, and I watch him. He seems so strong sitting there, deceptively powerful, corded arm muscles and heavily veined hands and silver hair, carefully combed in a wave that was dashing forty years ago. Then he stirs, stands and shuffles slowly to the sink. The illusion of strength falls away. He is a worn old man-- tired and sad. Quietly I wait behind him as he washes his hands, then pauses, confused, wrinkled eyes querulous and vague, and slowly washes them again. The rhythmic movements of his once sure fingers rub in an unchanging pattern from when he was young. I remember many years ago, --when I was even younger than now-- I remember him looking at me, I remember seeing my dark and warped reflection in his wise, laughing eyes. I thought surely he was the most dignified of men: alive and slow and gentle, quietly commanding respect, his amiable face in permanent creases from too much kind smiling. Now those wrinkles have faded. The faint lines no longer trace across his face, and his house is quiet. My great-uncle is alone. Alone with the countless photos of her. They are fading slowly in the streaming sunlight-- together.
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50
Oh! when shall the grave hide for ever my sorrow? Oh! when shall my soul wing her flight from this clay? The present is hell! and the coming to-morrow But brings, with new torture, the curse of to-day. From my eye flows no tear, from my lips flow no curses, I blast not the fiends who have hurl’d me from bliss; For poor is the soul which, bewailing, rehearses Its querulous grief, when in anguish like this— Was my eye, ’stead of tears, with red fury flakes bright’ning, Would my lips breathe a flame which no stream could assuage, On our foes should my glance launch in vengeance its lightning, With transport my tongue give a loose to its rage. But now tears and curses, alike unavailing, Would add to the souls of our tyrants delight; Could they view us our sad separation bewailing, Their merciless hearts would rejoice at the sight. Yet, still, though we bend with a feign’d resignation, Life beams not for us with one ray that can cheer; Love and Hope upon earth bring no more consolation, In the grave is our hope, for in life is our fear. Oh! when, my ador’d, in the tomb will they place me, Since, in life, love and friendship for ever are fled? If again in the mansion of death I embrace thee, Perhaps they will leave unmolested—the dead.
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To Caroline (III)
••• "on some days, I love you more than others," an early morning uh oh IROLO (instantly regretted out loud observation), of the potentially ruinous kind, spoken with malice towards none, *and obviously, no forethought,* firmly but modestly muttered over the modestly rumpled courtroom battlefield of sheets, newsprint, mugs and Bocelli on low smockingly, (a slow spreading smile of mock), she turns her gaze upon the presumed guilty, querulous, soon-to-be-ruined ruminator (me), and asks with disdainful derisive decisiveness is your first cuppa too hot darling? has your uncommon sense of non-sense been burnt? t'is true I reply, I feel the burn! for am I not sworn to tell the whole heated truth and nothing but? my love for you is simply a mathematical additive, progression series every new day I love you is forever a mighty mite more than the prior, a smudged smidge of a penciled line, taller than the higher higher notated upon ancient yesterday's doorpost ergo, ip so factoid, and therefore, by definition on some days I love you more than others     ••• p.s. never have conversations like this in the presence of within-reach newspapers, for they be easy rolled and revised into fearsome weaponry, suitably for handy smacking"*
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Feb 6, 2016
Feb 6, 2016 at 4:46 PM UTC
on some days, I love you more than others
aloof alphas attack! banal betas boom, before backing cautiously, creeping down, defensible dark estuaries, estranged escapes from fierce fiery-eyed giant gators gathered, hard hearted hedged in impossible illumination, irate jowly jeering jaded jackals **** **** **** … let loose low laughs making much mirth mercilessly now none need nourishment oblivious obvious, overt a putrescent phalanx, quite quintessential a querulous quorum a quatre raucous resounding raptorials retreated subsequently seizing sizeable sarcoid sections in scissor strokes total tormentors, that time twists the ugly utilitarian veracious victory works the wild yearning as zealots
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Apr 10, 2015
Apr 10, 2015 at 9:30 PM UTC
Abecedarian - A to Z a lifetime and cycle of poetics
The stylus is more potent than the dirk they say You don't fail to make a mark even when picked up by a dilettante everyday Esoteric idioms your masters make you write While the poignant sentences you write come only late in the night Someday you are in the hands of the who's who of the town The other days you spend in the hands of a clown You come clad in plastic,platinum,silver and gold With different coloured lifelines-blue,black,red,green and pink And a plethora of stories you keep clandestine and untold A travesty you make of the fools and to the prudent you make think With every word you write, you pant for breath And when your heart stops beating, they mark it as your death(end of a refill) You can be cryptic, there's no one stopping You can be acerbic even with beauty on the outside(the beauty of the letters) From the Treaty of Versailles to the varied pompous constitutions penned, you've always left me shocking Blessed be the hands that cradle you and take the ride(ride of the writing) You take them through the best roller-coaster journey of words Bringing out the inexplicable happiness be it just the lyre of the birds A predilection i have for you, for you engender the best in me I know I'd always have you in the middle of a dark chilled night come what may be Its you whom i turn to with my querulous platitudes And you furnish me the answers with a benevolent smile and gratitude Its you who defines me, for i am nothing but an amorphous mould Still learning when to be bold and when to feel cold.
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Dec 20, 2013
Dec 20, 2013 at 2:00 PM UTC
Ode to A Pen
The stylus is more potent than the dirk they say You don't fail to make a mark even when picked up by a dilettante everyday Esoteric idioms your masters make you write While the poignant sentences you write come only late in the night Someday you are in the hands of the who's who of the town The other days you spend in the hands of a clown You come clad in plastic,platinum,silver and gold With different coloured lifelines-blue,black,red,green and pink And a plethora of stories you keep clandestine and untold A travesty you make of the fools and to the prudent you make think With every word you write, you pant for breath And when your heart stops beating, they mark it as your death(end of a refill) You can be cryptic, there's no one stopping You can be acerbic even with beauty on the outside(the beauty of the letters) From the Treaty of Versailles to the varied pompous constitutions penned, you've always left me shocking Blessed be the hands that cradle you and take the ride(ride of the writing) You take them through the best roller-coaster journey of words Bringing out the inexplicable happiness be it just the lyre of the birds A predilection i have for you, for you engender the best in me I know I'd always have you in the middle of a dark chilled night come what may be Its you whom i turn to with my querulous platitudes And you furnish me the answers with a benevolent smile and gratitude Its you who defines me, for i am nothing but an amorphous mould Still learning when to be bold and when to feel cold.
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24
Disillusioned Of Darkness I do not like the way I feel I don't like the state of mind that I am in I feel the bitterness the coldness emptiness of his darkness querulous of mind thoughts of the unkind hate is always at my door leaving me among a life of the poor I do not yearn for false love I don't look down on the homeless but I do dread the dawn's that holds no light I do stand up and fight for what I know is right I hate to go to bed because that is where I will sleep that is where I weep I have bad dreams of he Dark Angel never gives me peace all he gives is darken dreams that makes me scream he gives me a world of darkness a place that always makes me cry he seems to never leave my side I feel so disillusioned my heart holds nothing but my mind holds all things my eyes hold visions of time I am not sick but I feel sick dreams are shoots in my mind like fireworks of hell my soul is crushed spirit weak and lost body sore I don't like me any more I don't like what I had become with a heart always on the run this dark life is no fun. Poetic Judy Emery © 1979 The Queen of Darken Dreams Poetic Lilly Emery
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Oct 2, 2016
Oct 2, 2016 at 4:27 PM UTC
Disillusioned Of Darkness
The manner of her tongue was a bit antiquated, yet her personality was heretical, rejecting traditions. She is an ingenious paradox and I'm a little abashed to say that I'm in a state of extol. However I came to the consensus that I will safeguard her inaudible heart, scorn every hint of dismay, and feed it to the vultures. I have jettisoned my own grotesque nature, for she is my alleviation. It might sound querulous, but she is the pinnacle of my languished existence.
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Mar 31, 2014
Mar 31, 2014 at 5:14 PM UTC
Pheromones
When whispers are not enough, I wonder why. Have we become too deaf To listen to those sounds that our heart used to make; Subtly telling us to keep calm ‘Cos he can’t keep up. It’s over now, he is quite Knowing you don’t care you were querulous, searching for answers, leaving a trail of mess behind When all you had to do was, Listen.
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Dec 30, 2015
Dec 30, 2015 at 4:40 PM UTC
When whispers are not enough
Awake! this is life Be not ungrateful for its toll Cultivate an aura of contentment Delve deeply for that thing they call a soul Examine all your motives and intentions Fling aside delusion in your path Glimpse through tiny keyhole possibility Harness all resistance with your wrath Imitate great ones who came before you Jeopard not the love within your heart Karma cannot limit your ability to Lacerate each falsehood all apart Mingle with the angels out among us Never rest until you need the sleep Obviate the demons which cling to us Perforate what makes you feel cheap Querulous we walk the road to happy Rutted as it is with mire and muck Spare your energies and sweet entreaties To walking ghosts who just don't give a **** Upend all ideas that forestall you Vindicate what you know to be true Windmills of illusion won't enthrall you Xcept when you opt to allow them to Yesterday may blind us with her memory Zelos might appreciate our idolatry
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Jun 30, 2017
Jun 30, 2017 at 2:00 PM UTC
A to Zeal
My body a temple, your traveler's eyes would wander, You wanted to explore, climb the peak and glide back under, With cautious intent, You began your descent, Until you made your plunder. With secrets and mystery, masked by cloud cover, You'd continue to hunt, until it were over, With each determined stride, You'd find more places to hide, Exposing more depth to discover. Embracing all of your senses, you burrow deeper, And there it is, quick, it's setting off the bleeper, Treasures of riches, jewels and a single pearl, Gleaming amidst a clam, with a swirl, I dare say, you might find it cheaper. With ravenous eyes, a drooling tongue, You steal as much as you'd manage, until you are stung, Your hands are perilous, So you become querulous, As is expected of men, so young.
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Oct 3, 2018
Oct 3, 2018 at 8:56 AM UTC
The Explorers
Push away the stone Look inside the tomb No one is there But it should be you Destitute ignominy Pernicious specious Anatomy What are you looking to remove Volition I'm looking to keep Equanimity As a solution But the confusion Is the illusion Anyone is ebullient I'll gesticulate what I'm trying to say With words grandiloquent Irrevocable iracible obtuse Perfunctory & querulous! My sentient Solid as a conscious Surreptitious surrogate Is just a verisimilitude Deja vu imminent Immutable idiosyncrasy Greater is he That is within me That strengthens me Against my enemies Holy spirit Advocate Without he is left me Desolate Empty waste of breath And evidence I am nothing Without Gods Forgiveness
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Oct 11, 2018
Oct 11, 2018 at 3:47 PM UTC
Pushing Away The Stone
You were born, as was I. You are dying, as am I. What happens in between matters. Too many spend their time as they spend their money, straining for more than food, clothes, shelter until they suffocate under attachment to the unnecessary they have made necessary. They try to buy meaning with toys and feel uncomfortable at the boredom they have become. They want the whole world zoned commercial so they can work harder, buy more and feel better, but they don't. It is a hard thing to admit how much of our lives we have spent being full of **** Remember: You were born, as was I. You are dying, as am I. What happens in between matters. We all stand on wobbly hinges that can give way at any moment. The question becomes not about death but about how to live before the hinges snap and the noose breaks our mortal necks. No easy answers. It is hard enough to have your foot in one world, let alone two. You were born, as was I. You are dying, as am I. What happens in between matters. Instead, meditate on the nothingness that was and the nothingness that will be at any second. Do not **** your life away on nonsense. Find your way to make what is in between matter. Me? I think I'll go fishing.   ~mce
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Jun 28, 2015
Jun 28, 2015 at 6:02 PM UTC
A Querulous Old **** Considers Life
These days, you don’t talk to anyone. You hear the offers, and you refuse to take them, refuse to give anyone the satisfaction of helping. [What could they do, what could they say?] These days, you don’t reach out reply as much as you have to when approached, and disappear into dissociation again. You don’t feel bad, you don’t feel sad, you don’t feel. Only tell yourself that they don’t need you and you don’t need them. You’re alone. But not lonely. Your brain is home to a chorus, there’s never a dull moment. How could you ever be alone with so many voices in your head? There’s the querulous one of anxiety with her constant, whatdoidowhatdoidowhatdoido? The heavy, lumbering one of depression, who only mumbles, Who cares? None of this matters. There is the babble of Mombrain, a hodge podge of toxic sludge that at this point, is not cruel but almost comical: You’reuglystupidbadloserfreaksocialmisfitliarliarliaruglystupidbaddesperatepatheticracistunfeelingcoldfuckyouyoulazyburdenonsocietyfuckyou. There is the matter of fact one of Logic Brain. She is the one who has to do damage control, works overtime to make you appear Sane, Articulate,  Good, Better. She is the one who guides you through every single action. *Get out of bed. Now brush your teeth. Now make the bed. Now take a shower. Now put on clothes, Now eat - you have to eat multiple meals. Now take your meds, don’t be a child. You are going to get things done today. You will be Fine.* But the whisper is the one that interests you, scares you, thrills you the most. She's the one you never shut down. She is cool, suave. You can never see her, of course, but she is the girl you could never be. She is so close, so seductive - just                  out of reach. She breathes into your ear: *crash the car, jump on the tracks, fly off the bridge, stab yourself to watch the blood, drink the nail polish remover, chug a whole bottle of whiskey and down some pills, just like the old days, remember the old days, you were sure you would die? You can still Do It.* Ideation always whispers, but the whispers are so loud, feel so right. She tells you: *You think I’ll disappear, but you and I, we’ll always be going steady, I’m not like those other girls, the ones who rip out your heart, who never say sorry when they need to, who use you and expect so much and leave when they’re done. Baby, with me there will never be any surprises no heartbreak, no drama, no manipulation no uncertainty.* *Baby, I will never leave you, I am the one constant. Come into my arms, let me hold you tight and never let you go.*
0
Feb 17, 2016
Feb 17, 2016 at 12:53 PM UTC
Voices
These days, you don’t talk to anyone. You hear the offers, and you refuse to take them, refuse to give anyone the satisfaction of helping. [What could they do, what could they say?] These days, you don’t reach out reply as much as you have to when approached, and disappear into dissociation again. You don’t feel bad, you don’t feel sad, you don’t feel. Only tell yourself that they don’t need you and you don’t need them. You’re alone. But not lonely. Your brain is home to a chorus, there’s never a dull moment. How could you ever be alone with so many voices in your head? There’s the querulous one of anxiety with her constant, whatdoidowhatdoidowhatdoido? The heavy, lumbering one of depression, who only mumbles, Who cares? None of this matters. There is the babble of Mombrain, a hodge podge of toxic sludge that at this point, is not cruel but almost comical: You’reuglystupidbadloserfreaksocialmisfitliarliarliaruglystupidbaddesperatepatheticracistunfeelingcoldfuckyouyoulazyburdenonsocietyfuckyou. There is the matter of fact one of Logic Brain. She is the one who has to do damage control, works overtime to make you appear Sane, Articulate,  Good, Better. She is the one who guides you through every single action. *Get out of bed. Now brush your teeth. Now make the bed. Now take a shower. Now put on clothes, Now eat - you have to eat multiple meals. Now take your meds, don’t be a child. You are going to get things done today. You will be Fine.* But the whisper is the one that interests you, scares you, thrills you the most. She's the one you never shut down. She is cool, suave. You can never see her, of course, but she is the girl you could never be. She is so close, so seductive - just                  out of reach. She breathes into your ear: *crash the car, jump on the tracks, fly off the bridge, stab yourself to watch the blood, drink the nail polish remover, chug a whole bottle of whiskey and down some pills, just like the old days, remember the old days, you were sure you would die? You can still Do It.* Ideation always whispers, but the whispers are so loud, feel so right. She tells you: *You think I’ll disappear, but you and I, we’ll always be going steady, I’m not like those other girls, the ones who rip out your heart, who never say sorry when they need to, who use you and expect so much and leave when they’re done. Baby, with me there will never be any surprises no heartbreak, no drama, no manipulation no uncertainty.* *Baby, I will never leave you, I am the one constant. Come into my arms, let me hold you tight and never let you go.*
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I do not like my state of mind; I'm bitter, querulous, unkind. I hate my legs, I hate my hands, I do not yearn for lovelier lands. I dread the dawn's recurrent light; I hate to go to bed at night. I snoot at earnest, simple folk. I cannot take the gentlest joke. I find no peace in paint or type. My world is but a lot of tripe. I'm disillusioned, empty-breasted. For what I think, I'd be arrested. I am not sick, I am not well. My quondam dreams are shot to hell. My soul is crushed, my spirit sore; I do not like me anymore. I cavil, quarrel, grumble, grouse. I ponder on the narrow house. I shudder at the thought of men-- I'm due to fall in love again.
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Jun 27, 2017
Jun 27, 2017 at 3:16 PM UTC
Symptom Recital by Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)