keep scrolling through iTunes,
can’t seem to find anything to download,
even though I can download,
any song that I want to,

keep scrolling through my timeline,
Facebook lines & Instagram posts,
but can’t seem to find anything of interest,
which doesn’t make sense since I love everyone,

got everything we want,
but nothing that we need,
traded in our dreams,
for some fantasies on a screen,
here forget you used to be free,
have a seat & take this TV,
it’s amazing how we make miracles,
seem so easy,

it’s like,
these machines gave us everything we ever wanted,
without,
giving us anything that we ever needed,

& it’s strange because I’ve won every battle,
but still I feel defeated,
it’s like I’m sitting around,
alone with all these toys around me,

feeling like a Prince without a Kingdom,
or a King without a throne,
or a Princess without a wishlist in her Queendom,
with a magnificent house that’s missing a home,

are you missing your home,
that home you never had,
are you missing that feeling,
that feeling that you can’t quite grab,

and that’s,

exactly why you keep scrolling through iTunes,
& that’s exactly why I keep scrolling thought iTunes,
we’re both missing the same thing & searching in vain,
it’s eerily ironic how we can feel so alone in the same room,

& I feel your pain because I feel my pain two,

pardon me,
maybe I’m confused,
maybe we,
wanted to get attention instead of getting used,

& there’s so much more I want to mention,
but then again I guess what’s the use,
why start something that’s only definite is an ending,
but I’m your friend so if you want to begin it’s up to you,

I’m willing to relax,
I’ll answer all your questions,
let’s trade facts,
truth or dare until we express all our intentions,

in the pursuit of passions,
listening to intuitions,
remembering what it was to be human,
before we gave in & gave them our emotions,

I swear something doesn’t feel right,
like most of these humans are just Programs,
who look like they are moving with intention,
but are really just going through the motions,

keep scrolling through iTunes,
can’t seem to find anything to download,
even though I can download,
any song that I want to…

∆ LaLux ∆

Los Angeles, CA.
October 8th, 2018

Since then been carrying water in that 600ml bottle.

The one she lured me with in the scorching heat
When my throat was dying for a drink

You need it more than anything now sir
Said she her thatched shop in the land of nowhere

I yielded for the price was not too high
For a thirsty soul passing by

On the highway happened the fair deal
She had one less to sell
I had my fill

Like the car sir our body too needs oil
Said between smiles the woman of the soil

For once I loved her piece of wisdom
The unpretentious savior, proud owner of her queendom

Dunno why since then
I’ve been holding onto that bottle
As my fairest bargain!

O Sweetheart,
some guys might,
but I don't mind
you sitting above me.

O Darling,
it gives me
great pleasure
to watch our
sacred-connection,
to see the kind looks
on your pretty face
as you move
up and down,
to and fro.

O Honey,
you know exactly  
what you do to me,
glide so playfully,
so effortlessly
on my lying-position.

O My Love,
you are a Rare Goddess,
your meekness goes
out the window
behind our closed doors,
And like me,
you want
more & more.

O Rare Goddess,
I am your loyal subject,
I will oblige your
sacred-whim
willingly,
not fight it,
I beg of you,
please take me
to your Queendom!

I. To sleep...

As if I needed affirmation
of the weekend from a mouse

As if I needed mutually
indecipherable dialogue

As if I need a hip social setting
when Insomnia gets off on my inside

As if I need a drink for the prodding
of my eyes or charisma for the charming of hers

As if we need a hotel or a bed
for that matter in Dormiveglia

II.* ...perchance to dream.*

Darling Insomnia
how you dazzle in your quilted
queendom of suction

Darling Insomnia
**** out the vanilla gumming
up my timid lungs like sugared venom

Darling Insomnia
I promise I won't burden you with moans of
fantasy-inflicted headaches

Darling Insomnia
let your sirrah latch his inhalation
onto your majestic ***** like an asp

Darling Insomnia
does subordination in my windpipe
do right by your despotic grasp?

Fenola
*******

to Chopin
for Eileen

who lies spread
on the bed

concerto number 2
that would do

Eileen said
watching sweet

Fenola
removing

her clothing
first the blouse

the pink one
she had bought

that first date
next the skirt

the jet black
with matching

underwear
then the bra

removing
her fingers

holding up
before she

lets it drop
now she stands

gazing down
taking in

the spread of
the two thighs

the two soft
melon *******

the button
of her birth

and below
the *****

dark forest
covering

her queendom
of Eve land

she pauses
as Chopin

number 2
plays softer

and Eileen
hot moistens

Fenola
like some cat

stealthily
on all fours

her tongue out
licking up

the two thighs
her two paws

and soft claws
slow engage

the *******
as her lips

move in there
to that hot

queendom spot
to the cries

do not stop
do not stop.

"No more tears now; I will think about revenge."

-- Mary, Queen of Scots
------------------------------------------------

Someone once told me that
I have the eyes of a Queen,
that they have known sorrow
in this life and in the last.

I think I must have shared
a heart with
Mary, Queen of Scots,
for I too have experienced
profound betrayal,
one that has shackled itself
to my being so violently,
that my soul has turned
purple with contusion.

Tell me--have you no shame?

Will you betray your Queen?

Will you exclude her
from your most sacred gatherings
of friendship and empathy?

Will you speak of her
most intimate secrets?

Will you befriend her foes?

Will you defile her name
in your own frivolous writings?

Will you accuse her of treason
so as to distract from
your own mutinous crimes?

My beloved companions,
my brothers and sisters--
will you attempt to commit
this heinous sin of sororicide
against the woman
who loved you so generously
(so poetically)?

I entreat--
will you?

(yet, I know you already have).

But though my Queendom
may be small,
it is not insignificant,
for it is vast in ways
incomprehensible to your
selfish minds--
its kindness and poetry
are infinite,
both of which you
have taken gross advantage of.

And though my Queendom
may crumble at your hands,
it shall never fall;
with stanzas
mighty and passionate
I will rebuild without you.

You have overstayed
your welcome here.
(perhaps you never belonged
in the first place).

There was once a time
when you vowed to protect
your Queen
and, now, all I've got
to show for it
is a broken pinkie
and the scuff of footprints
across my spine.

What shall it be next?

My head upon a silver platter?

No.

I was not reborn
only so my reign should
be sullied by these
treacherous sadists
I once called "friends".

It is my head
you want,
but this time,
it is yours I shall have.

Lady, I thank thee for thy loveliness,
Because my lady is more lovely still.
Glorying I gaze, and yield with glad goodwill
To thee thy tribute; by whose sweet-spun dress
Of delicate life Love labours to assess
My Lady’s absolute queendom; saying, ‘Lo!
How high this beauty is, which yet doth show
But as that beauty’s sovereign votaress.’

Lady, I saw thee with her, side by side;
And as, when night’s fair fires their queen surround,
An emulous star too near the moon will ride,—
Even so thy rays within her luminous bound
Were traced no more; and by the light so drown’d,
Lady, not thou but she was glorified.

Well Uncle Hector space detector
Interstellar super-sleuth
Found an egg among the needles
Then he knew he’d found the truth
The Tree of Life was his for eating
Alchemists could all go bleating
Scientists got glimpses, fleeting
Of futures and the past

Said Uncle Hector with a grin
“hey Mr Church, come talk of sin…..
come tell me how it was again
before the fall from Grace?”

Come let us PLAY in inner space
Lets ride the reindeer in the sky
Lets hold the Holy Grail up high
And forever wonder why?
It came to this
Betrayed by a Kiss

Try not to miss
A rendezvous with ISIS
Early morning meditation
Searching for the King of Kings
And all of her Disciples
Through time and space our children float
Wearing Technicolor  Dream-coats
Sailing in psychedelic lakes
Of celestial Double Takes

In rowing boats of Entheogens
We head for the shore
And the open door
Inside the DOME
The cranial dome
The pleasure dome
Our only home
Our only hope
The Cosmic Joke
The double Helix

Can you feel it?
Can you hear it?
Can you see it?
Can you taste it?
Does it abide in you?
Can you abide in it?
Can you decipher ****?
Can you swallow it?
And try not to forget
That it is not HE or SHE or IT
Or THIS or THAT
Or THEN or NOW
Or WHY? Or HOW?
Just a sacred cow
Passing grass through the Trinity
Farting gas into infinity
Making connections with eternity
With the knowledge of certainty
That we are all divine entities
Who’ve lost our identity
Robbed of our divinity
Left without dignity
A tragedy
A parody
Of what we used to be!

Can you read the parable?
Can you hear the clarion
Alarm bells ringing?
Angels singing
In hyperspace
Spores ascending to a higher phase
A blue-green planet
With an equatorial archipelago
Shows you how it goes
Right under your nose
Don’t watch the skies
Looking for spies
Electronic lies
World wide web
Out to catch flies
Books on thighs
Held up high
Wonder why?…..
Dogs in mangers
Create dangers
Universal Lone Rangers
On snow-white horses
Giving us our Daily Bread

Uncle Hector space detector
Rides his magic carpet
Through Milky Ways
And Galaxies
Of pleasure and ecstasy
Out past Andromeda
Past infinite possibilities
Of possible infinities

To wondrous worlds
Where dreams unfurl
On one foot he whirls
The universe he twirls
On his index finger
The spheres he holds
To make them SING
To make the very planets RING
Reminds him of the King
Who gave him this freedom
To travel this Queendom
Of  inner space
And vanish without trace
Without the confines of memory
Without learnt behaviour
Without  a saviour
Without a redeemer
Within a dreamer
A dreamer dreams
And seems
To those without
To be or not to be
The essence of us all.

So Unkle Hektor space detector
Interstellar world selector
Drinks ambrosia laced with NECTAR
And sails on seas to  NINEVEH
To foretell them of their future
Avoids capture within the belly
Of the mighty whale
And sets sail
In a force-ten gale
Does Uncle Hector
SPACE DETECTOR

Lands in a meadow unseen
Blossoms on the unclean
Surfaces in the GREEN
Passes through the WHITE
Passes through the RED
Searching VIOLET LIGHT

And Uncle Hector space detector
Steers himself back home
Back through the chilling dome
back through the future zone
back through the past alone
till at last
he’s back
among the STARS
From where it all began

And Uncle Hector space detector
Lays softly down to sleep
And dreams of blue-green planets
Spinning in the deep
Blue-black INFINITY
Has GNOSIS of his DIVINITY
Beams a smile that warms infinity
And giggles in his sleep
Yes Uncle Hector space detector
Pan-dimensional interjector
Stoops down low to choose a connector
In a meadow in his dreams

And Uncle Hector
Space detector
Detects an “X” factor
That can heal his “WHY”
And wherefore……
And therefore Uncle Hector gets a healing
Most revealing
Truth concealing
Holy *****
Falls from heaven
In our Daily Bread!
Then Uncle Hector wakes and rises
Expands his lungs and exercises

Give thanks to all who know his song
And everyone who came along to hear these words
And carry on the raising of the consciousness
Of  everything and everyone
And carry on the raising of the consciousness
Of  everything and everyone

A six month whirlwind
of friendship--
mixed with  an
impassioned.. unexplainable,
   I  don't  know

Hope against hope:
the dream, Unfolded
right before  my own
deeply-imbedded cynicism;
As the most  incredible
Lazarus  of all
came forth from the tomb

I am angry at things of the past
and tell God that he hates me..
But I know it is just a lie

Your very existence  tells me
that his  hatred  of me
  is just a lie


Your love for me  undoes
every lie I have ever known

When we were children
My sister and I rejected
The role of princess.
They were pretty but weak--
Always needing to be rescued!
And we preferred the chiseled faces
The greater command of queens.
We stood on our beds at night,
Wool blankets turned to velvet capes.
And we declared our power
In broad, silly proclamations
Such as “Queen of the Dolls”!
Or Rulers of the Woods
That stretched off to the east
Of our little house,
That became a castle
Guarded by hooting owls
and Baskerville hounds.
Arms outstretched, our capes
Made leaping sparks
And we shouted in our glory.
After tiring of commands
We launched ourselves into the air
And for a moment, ruled the earth,
Suspended above our queendom
Until we fell onto our beds
And laughed with joy,
For were we not landing
On stacks of feathers,
Piled high to avoid a pea,
Laid there just for us?

Una kissed
each one breast

at a time,
so softly,

her lover,
thought of them

as melting,
unlike when

her husband,
dear Brian,

licked at them
like some hound

lapping up
rain water.

Una put
kisses on

each rib place,
gently there,

lips brushing,
moving on,

then she kissed
***** hair

to get there,
her lover's

honey ***,
her queendom

of Eden,
arched over

her lover,
she kissed deep,

lips melting,
snaky tongue

entering,
offering

no apple,
forbidden fruit,

but soft love,
bringing on

to the boil
of deep sighs

and throat sounds.
Her lover,

in her turn,
entered slow,

her middle
firm digit,

but gently
into that

Dublin ****,
which Brian,

her husband,
never could

bring himself
to finger enter

such a place
(such as hers

not Una's).
As Una

kissed softly,
her lover,

swooning hot,
then forgot

her Brian's
*** failing,

but enjoyed
so deeply

the kisses
and tonguing

of her hot
honey ***.

I used to own the board we shared, your knights,
I had my spies in your Bishops, and your confessions were mine.

I played my strategies so quick,
That I stole your heart without you even registering the thievery.

And as often as you breathed, as often as I laughed,
I would say; 'Checkmate'.

But somewhere along the line I got complacent
And you stabbed me in the back, simply by growing a spine.

I think I've been in recovery for half a year now
Because I've forgotten how to play.

Didn't you at least try to clear the cobwebs in my absence?
Because everything looks so sinister now, and I don't like it.

And everywhere, daisy-chain crowns lie rotten,
Like the wasted queendom of my youth.

But you,
You still proudly wear your crown of bloodied thorns.

And somehow, all my pawns have turned to dust,
And the board has dirtied its way to black.

Everywhere is open to you now,
What once was mine is yours, and yours alone.

And now, I've lost my footing.
By all rules I shouldn't be here

And everywhere I turn,

Checkmate.

electric — conflated with
the doldrum of once ignited feeling
on the russet table work
and the stringing aroma of flyblown
coffee painting the morning something
earthenware;

i imagine
  
     women lounging
and displaying their flamboyant dresses
confessing a dull promenade
parading their attenuated *****. reveling
a queendom on recall and this bane,
  merely resolute, gives itself a new
meaning as a hand of forgive

   men resigning their bags on the corner,
grunts, heaves deathly serious disallowing tomorrow's arrival into
  a throb of being in place, folding newspapers to a club and smiting fervently along with the endless waiting,
  
   verses lying cold on the froth of the tile
and the wind ripening the brew of
     contestations — punctuations in their
cupboards still and reserved in hermetic
   space curating silence, giving dins
     their polished ends,

   open for all: churlish boys,
   naked girls, faith-used women, strife-torn men, usual suspects,
     rebels and the overwrought –
  never closes like a hand in cold
      or a rose, its face occulted by
identification sideways torn, inside and out struggling,
      scrunched to squint on some pale light through chinks on the battered
     wall, sipping coffee,
   mmmm, that
   morning ripple transcending the
         heaviness of the city before me.

I had her heart in my hand
but she held my breath in her wonderland
attractivated she motormated me
and magnet-ied  my eyes
laser beamed with just one goal
that
touch me,please me,feely feely
Really it was very nice
an understatement
even if said twice.

I saw some distant planetary system
when she kissed me and I wished then on a star
which fell
and far from being here
she had taken me out there
to share with me
her luminosity.

How could it last
the fires that burn so bright
still cast shadows on the wall of my desire
but she took me high above
all thoughts of love had taken leave
I believe she was angel or a demon
but she led this man into
her Queendom
and when done with me
she loosed me like a cannon ball
which is an entirely different kind of wall
like an illusion
a colliding of materials
in colour sorted serial codes.

If it bodes well
I'll find she came from heaven and not from hell
but at the moment I can't tell
and to tell the truth
It doesn't worry me.

Fall from the clouds
Never looking back
Fall into the sea below
Never coming back

An eternity shall pass
But the shadows of your being
Will endure forever
Thoughts do trespass
The unliving, believing
Delaying the delayer

A fall of freedom
Shattering the bonds
Here comes queendom
And betraying chords
Of lovers and justices
For words are never the same
For another unbeliever

Falling down
Memories will catch your heartbeat
Rend your soul
Into a thousand brilliant suns
Beyond control

An eternity shall pass
But the fragrance enduring
Will linger forever
Thoughts do trespass
The unliving, believing
Delaying the delayer

Ok Ok so.. Lemme go..
I'm about to be pushed so.
Over the edge from Nice and Pretty.
Cute Woman Queendom, sitting quietly.
Gone  and push me.
Unquote just prose.
I'm coming with ink dropped worded sorrows of long awaited ****** blows.
Rock some sense with unpinned fellows. Leave ya crying Oh there she goes!'
I'm not feeling these fingered twisted rhyming lines. I need to break free of this kind.
Hit that like button utubers redundant pushin.
That constant cries style influencin.
Bossy commenting well im in my feelings.
Gonna speak my own mind. Nothing of nicety whines and rhyming fines.
I need to Grab and twist foolishness into mental jabs and knock out some bull* fist of
Minds mental blocks.
Brain washed dead locks.
Of what should be cute friends. Taking away my time on romantics.
Due to blows behind our backs fighting instead of igniting.
Social caves for love drought hungered non slaves.
Assisting in climatic mental dynamics.
To sooth dehydrated souls. In a long over spent Pandemic.
Wiping tears by phones lines, from pictures of systemic vlogged services.
Sick of the youtube beefs in the youtube streets.
Where everybody is against somebody.
Haters be gone!
Battle backs from controversies wrong.
Too many Vlogged accounts operates from inner hates.
Not in the club of rejoicing from online down falls.
Cause the wicked want to judge Advocates for the wounded  by spilling of pains.
Not understanding why a caged bird sangs.
My venting.
Is where I release for healing.
Haters would never seek to help others be free.
I can see why the angry delivery.
Why the rough words from ones mouth flow freely.
Why A vloggers delivery may not be for you but rocks for me.
But has its place in society.
So Let them be.
Stop, anxiety we can move in better differential views.
Keeping hate on back burner stoves, waiting on smoked signal cues.
Or there would eventually be an explosion in corruption.
And like a mass event would be just wasted consumption.
Don't Judge. You can no longer even tell your
striking and causing unneeded reactions. Obsessing.
Boom Boom speculations are not factualization..
Drop your theories of conspiracies.
If you think your standing rejoicing at others down falls,
Soon your own drama will be called.
I'ma sit back and stay paused stay clear in my empathy
and watch rise the cleansing of opinionated hands.
The truth for nonjudging fans. The Tv social media free lands.
A Creator's channels  rights to their own fans.
Clear of hateful bandits and tyrants!
Nuff time on spilled rants.
SelinaSharday rose s.a.m 2021 9-3

Yesterday I followed her on Instagram,
I guess watching her stories is no harm;
Oh, nothing matches hers charm,
and her thoughts were pretty much warm
"TEXT HER"- my heart raised an alarm.

HER about displays "#QUEENDOM",
Reading down I asked myself;
what's the need to her Royalty?
Maybe to evince your Loyalty.

She wears motley set of opinions,
Oh, one of her post says She hate onions.
Her reviews about movies and books shows her Morality,
so you can't shield yourself if you are guilty.

That snoozed alarm hits again;
I don't have words to go beyond her Reign,
The disarmed thoughts were on the run again,
So I thought to send her the above mentioned words
Which were not that much certain.

Atlantis shall rise again.

She will spear through the currents,
until the helms of her cityscapes
cleave the tides
that have entombed her.

In the beginning,
it hurts
as she guillotines
the barnacles
and bottom feeders
congealed upon her brow.

In the beginning,
she bleeds--

she bleeds--

but

she heals.

Shrugs the brine
from her rooftops
and hails over
the men and women
who sunk her Queendom
all those millennia ago.

As the moonlight
crescendos through
the stained glass,
timeworn prophecies
written in the jagged contours
of greek lettering
reveal themselves upon the pillars:

Atlantis shall rise again.

Ophelia's throne reclaimed
only by the one
who has treaded
The Great Deluge
and survived it

only by the one
who is fluent in
the language of drowning
but has not bowed
to the hurricanes

by the one
with hair like raven feathers
and dark eyes spun to gold
when they look into the sunset

by the one
who is named
after a gemstone,
the most precious
of them all--

Atlantis shall rise again

and

I shall rise with Her.

My drought had been long
My thrist severe inside
The desert cold of my loneliness.

Such a pining I felt
And could not describe but
My need was easily understood.

I had a craving for contact
Of warm skin, conditioned hair,
Under the saftey of a comforter.

The Night's cold that chills
May speak of my need, but the
Wounds of my soul held the truth.

I could feel myself withering
In the cold desert of my feelings-
Such a death I wish on no one.

My rewaking arose with the cold
Sting of a blade, feeling warm
against my icy veins.

The blade made a flow of
words into my mind and
bid me to write them here.

Of such reminders I have few,
But I remember this feeling,
Which I asked to wait outside the door.

Upon Her entry I remembered why
I had avoided Her for so long,
Her cold gaze penetrating my heart.

It was not in my strength to
Fain a second defense against
The onslaught of her will.

She held me in her frigid embrace
And I thanked her for it,
For within it was a hint of what I longed.

I knew the blade was Hers,
And bid her again my gratitude,
For I knew this death would let me live.

It is almost morbidly humorous
That Loneliness can take care of
Those enslaved to her so well.

Clasping the wound from the blade
I walked out the Door, wishing to
Turn back and show my rejoice of my freedom.

There was little time however,
And I wished to say goodbye to a
Chosen few, and the journey was harsh.

The wind outside howled and snow
Bit at my face, much like those
I felt necessary to bid my adieu.

While I can scarcely recall
My meetings with both, I know
The burden was lessened by the visit.

The touch of a warm hand lingered
On my cheek, and the taste of a kiss
On my tongue were the only memories I left with.

At the Gateway to the
Relm of the Warm I looked back
quietly on the Land of the Lonely.

I know many despise that Queendom,
But I cultivated a fondness for it
Few can grow, and fewer can explain.

At 2AM I took a longing breath
Of the coldness that surrounded me
And with it I walked out the archway.

4:55 am, snoring boyfriend is downstairs
SOUND asleep
I lie awake and seek to reach the deep
Well of sound and music, a poetic
Kingdom, I made my queendom
With. Never tried emjambments but well,
They seem to fit, they bring to thoughts freedom.

SOUNDS like my well-being
To write poetry is living
The instants to the fullest
Even on a cellphone my rhymes do not rest

I may SOUND poised and in control
But at first my poems were about pain and all
The things that poetry sublimates with her crown
I owe much of my style to what Ginsberg wrote down

My American poetic self is a committed eye with an everlasting passionate SOUND.

Fairy Queen
I make my wish
Blow across your QUEENDOM
watch all wishes
granted by you
Answered

You are,
a Queen in my kingdom
A giant Queen,
in the beautydom
And a beautiful
in our Queendom

On to my Queendom, he comes
he thinks he could reign me
that was his greatest mistake

he thought he could read
I too thought that he could read
but I was mistaken

mine loved friend said he loves to read
I too thought that he loves to read
it seemed so, it looked so
but I was mistaken

after having walked amongst this poverty
I must conclude in tears and tragedy
this is the worst and most tragic comedy
I ever knew after my literal study
(contin.on Part 3)


© Sylvia Frances Chan
Copyright Protected

You don’t have to sit on the throne 24/7 for them to know you’re a queen
You can take your crown anywhere
You can cry, with your crown still on
Work on yourself, with your crown still on
You can rest, you can walk, you can wander
Get lost, find yourself, break down, build yourself up again
All with your crown still on
Your throne can never be threatened
You will always be the Queen of your Queendom

The Fairy Tale Queen
and her vast Queendom of stories
entwined, branching, shepherded

The Fairy Tale Queen
directing questions and wonder
so that each yarn can flower

The Fairy Tale Queen
ruling with a hand of Order
and a hand of Whimsy

The Fairy Tale Queen
Herself a Fairy, Itself a Tale

The Fairy Tale Queen
Queen over her subjects
and over herself