"putted" poems
Thought you found home when you finally anchored your heart to his, but you only found wilderness inside an empty forest lost long time ago.
I met a man while I am moving on from my past. He was moving on also from his own little heartbreak. Whenever I am with him, I taught myself to never love a man's soul while his heart is aching for someone else's. But he taught me the other way, obliviously.
The ricochet comes. He can't love me back when he wants to. He can't take risks the way I do. He can't choose me when the universe give us the chance.
The ricochet hits me and I am supposed to be dead. But no, I was hit but was never putted into death. I was only shattered into pieces.
My little hopes and biggest fears will chase me to dreams and I have no escape. Nightmares will come every sleep and anxiety will attack me every waking up.
I will stare blankly in a dead air that used to give life to my existence before.
I am shredding tears for no certain reason and my heart is pulled down into the bottom of the sea.
I am loss. I am not found. If hope doesn't exist, then there is no chance I will be found deep down here.
I never had a heart, but when I found this empty long lost forest, when I took the risk when he can't, when I love him despite all his insecurities and incertitude, when I choose him when the universe gave me dozens of choices, I don't have a choice but to have one. For him and only for him.
Boy, I only have one heart but it is still hitched to yours and I don't have any plans to unhitch it.
Apr 13, 2019
Apr 13, 2019 at 10:36 AM UTC
Who I am ? (King of a Dream)
Once upon a time
there was shy boy
Who was called in names
and bullied by my body image
But all turn upside down
till puberty and after puberty
I changed my life into a men
I fall thousand times
But I stand up and walk
a road of dreams and life
and made a millions smiles
of a people who I crossed in past
But life isn't perfect like seems
Its like mountains of life
x2
This a story a lonely shy boy
Who had dreams by his side
and never lost them and
Ran all his way to achieve them
(King of a Dream)
Once upon a time
There was a boy
who had everything he had
And had a perfect body
But suddenly all changed
And he was bullied and
depressed and drowned in tears
He went thousand miles
But didn't fall and continued
He didn't have dreams and didn't
Know his future and everybody
hated him but his life was miserable
And putted on a line of death
x2
This a story a lonely boy
Who hadn't dreams or future
and never had them
Ran all his way
Once upon time
there was a love
and dreams and life
but he ran all his way
To be a king of a dream
Apr 10, 2016
Apr 10, 2016 at 2:30 PM UTC
Today i got some papers written by you for me,
In reply of my limitless feelings,
Most of the replies are not about the questions i asked ,
Your most of writings about your frustrations & problems from me in vast ,
Every new letter got nothing new to read,
Even when I expressed every phase of me,
In the starting of our relationship,
You accepted all but already putted a limitation,
But i still believed in you ,
& what i got in response that am not loving you through,
With your expectations,
Our conversations depicted a theory,
That i was living in the feel of primitive real love story,
In which a boy& girl loved each other,
From the soul and spent their life together ,
Less calls less communication,
When i asked the reason,
Your response forced me to realise,
I was not there from any corner or in any size,
Bundles of word I wrote & hardly heard any appreciation,
Likewise before me my fellows sensed,
You lost interest in me like the previous guy who caught and banned,
Just because he opted another girl also,
Alongside to support you from head to toe,
When my eyes opened & i understood the circumstances,
I asked you that we're gonna apart,
But **** it was done your side & heart,
Okay on valentines day the breakup it was,
Ink letters freshed up the eighteen months experience again ,
Let's close it until i open my inner locker to get ur maintain
Dec 31, 2015
Dec 31, 2015 at 1:01 PM UTC
The work I have yet to finish
putted on the stand standing infront of thee
Glances of cold
smiles of hell
breath of frost
these looks
Nothing again I did
Nothing I am
nothing will not be missed
*windows open
Wind blowing through me
birds singing
silenced*
Nothing I will be
May 12, 2015
May 12, 2015 at 6:38 AM UTC
I was waiting for your arrival,
& I saw many faces along.
Each time I hoped it's yours,
I waited minutes but it felt
Like hours long,
I waited
and waited until
I looked away.
You suddenly came inside
the gate,
How could you do so fast?
When I just tilted my head,
And as in front of my eyes,
I stared you for so long,
But it ended so fast..
And when
I blinked my eyes
You faded away.
I looked onto everywhere,
But you got mixed,
in all those faces
That I never wanted to see...
I only this moment
Felt , my eyes , betray.
I carved your body
In my skull,
As you were you walking
By my left side,
And I am happy that my
Left eye was okay.
With the pause,
I titled to my left side,
and that was the time ,
When I blinked my eyes
I knew it was the last time.
I putted my head between
My arm's crest,
As the withering drops
Caused the tear to almost
Flow out , but in the end
It oozed out a little..
I was lucky that wind was
Flowing array.
Mar 19, 2025
Mar 19, 2025 at 10:28 AM UTC
What lieth in the green way
Of my putted, unfeigned love
And thine heart? Gay dove,
Prithee take the stymie away.
Apr 7, 2012
Apr 7, 2012 at 1:36 AM UTC
My shadow only wanna hide beside me,
all things going so wilde,
black shadow in the front of a ray of light,
seems to b no more visible in the existance survival fight,
it feels like that m so numb,
that i cant cry or smile and peoples start saying that m a dumb,
but i m not i cry but no 1 bothers that m crying and m i feel so alone,
they just ignore me and wore me a thrown,
and made me the king of lonelyness and try to supress,
the things i guess,
that these r hurting me too much,
and destroying the best part of myself and if i wannna clutch,
the part it goes more apart,
from my reach,
& as usual the peoples who see me try to teach,
there own non-sense lessons,
if dont wanna get those they felt m in the list foolish of foolish persons,
they putted itno who dosnt make a agree on there stupid speeches,
it's still going darker here and echoes but not reaches,
Apr 5, 2014
Apr 5, 2014 at 12:02 AM UTC
You've been in my brain
You were my thoughts again
You putted me in that burning flame
And no one here to blame ..
May 14, 2016
May 14, 2016 at 5:39 PM UTC
footstep does not be hear
she puts own breathle
no fingerprints but
she putted own shadow
maybe she was a desolate woman
like she putted own scream
she lived in the void
she putted own dreams latest
Jun 2, 2019
Jun 2, 2019 at 12:23 AM UTC
At the end we loved each other so much
we destroyed ourselves as it should
And between all those scattered pieces
maybe you tried to search for me
Or maybe you did not bother
However, I putted each piece together
It was a gruesome puzzle
to find my pieces between your pieces
And to miss you and do not say it
for being somewhere else
And when I finally had all the pieces
I let myself go with all my chaos away
Aside, so far from you and so close
to other lands
Because now I'm free, so far from that
wanting to t(d)ie
At the end we will be cowards but not at all
Because is brave not looking behind
even if we were falling apart
May 6, 2017
May 6, 2017 at 8:42 PM UTC