I wondered why I wasn't happy.
I knew it had something to do with school and the new friends I'd hadn't made.
In high school, I would be voted "hardest to understand", or "punniest", but nothing special.
My life was just a sequence of sadness and anger with a pinch of sweet mixed in. I used sugar to cope when it didn't help with how I looked at myself in the mirror.
I was lonely and socially awkward.
In this harsh world, I was just a grain of sand on the beach. One of the infinite grains of sand.

Not desirable.
Not wanted. Just like everyone else.
And it was worse because that's actually what I was the most scared of.

Everything I wish wouldn't have happened, happened.