"preventional" poems
I fixed my hair
and the reflection
of my own brooding face,
stares right back at me.
The void in the windowless pit of my eyes
is feeling a little happy today
a shadow of light peeks through
and my face lights up.
The mark of him
reeks upon my body
The faint of his words
caused the corner of my lips to turn up.
My demon creeps up
from the corners of the mirror
And with its menancing smile,
my breath hitches
It closes its eyes,
And inhales the scent of my fear.
I am nothing but a pawn
as its voice reaches my eardrums, whispering the thoughts I can only bear to keep.
It taunts me,
Daring me to take a peek,
Daring me to take a look
And the rest of my body is in plain sight
The angry marks of stretched skin
is evident in parts of my body.
My skin filled with fat sags
as if it was sad from all the years
it has kept holding up all the weight
My body is screaming right at me.
It said it was sorry to have me.
It said it was sorry to give up before me.
It said it was sorry for the way it looked.
And I cried.
I was sorry too.
I was sorry to be the way I looked.
I was sorry to be me.
I was sorry for existing.
When the faucet in my eyes closed off,
my voice could no longer speak, and
my skin turned red from all the sentiments I have cried off, I smiled.
Not because I am happy,
not because I have finally
finally accepted being me
but because it is the only remedy I have.
The only preventional medication
I could take
for me to survive the day
for me to survive the torment
of being in this skin
of one more day
I hated my skin, you know
and my skin hated me.
Dec 9, 2018
Dec 9, 2018 at 11:22 PM UTC