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I’ve been MIA since you’ve been away; I keep walking around with my head in the clouds and getting high off paper planes.
Give me a pen and a notepad and allow me to document all the unforgettable memories we should’ve shared.
All the memories we should’ve shared never came to fruition because half the time you hardly cared.
It has been a while since I’ve heard from you, too many days since February.
Too many days since I’ve been patiently waiting so I had to give up eventually.
You had me under the impression that you actually gave a **** about me.
You gave me the impression that you cared about what we shared, but half the time you were never there.
I’ve been feeling hollow like the men T.S. Eliot wrote about, I’ve been feeling pain just to hold on.
But how long can I keep holding on when all this pain and depression is gradually affecting me?
How long can I keep holding on when all this pain becomes an indication of everything that’s bound to go wrong?
All the memories we should’ve created never came to fruition because half the time you were never there.
It has been a while since I’ve heard from you, too many days since February.
Too many days since I’ve been patiently waiting so I had to give up eventually.
How long can I keep holding on when all this depression becomes a reflection of everything that’s bound to go wrong?
I keep walking around Pretoria with my head in the clouds while getting high off paper planes with my feet on the ground.
"Since you’ve been away, love's been MIA..."
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Don’t make homes out of people because they always leave and take everything you own with them.*
Home doesn’t feel like home without you and because of that I’ve stopped building homes out of people.
But I saw the beauty of the world in your eyes and it always gave me hope.
I’ve been feeling homeless and now I’m always home a lot less because of you.
You are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside and that’s why people are still drawn to your aura.
Depression hit harder than the recession, it had me regressing and constantly questioning my level of progression.
Purple jacaranda petals spread all around my feet as I patiently wait for my heart to make a sound.
This hopeful romantic knows that hearts get broken like mirrors, records and promises do.

All the jacaranda trees in Pretoria still remind me of the beauty that is you.
When the relentless heat of the sun drove me crazy all I could think about was your smile and those hazel-brown eyes.
I spend some nights drinking my favourite wine by myself but this bottle of Pinotage will always taste better in your presence.
I still want to hold your heart like the lonely autumn trees hold the fragility of clinging leaves.
But you’re no longer mine to love and the thought of you being with someone else kills me.
Hearts fall to the ground like jacaranda petals do but unfortunately the view is not so beautiful.
Purple jacaranda petals spread all around on every street as I patiently wait for my heart to make a sound.
“It was when I stopped searching for home within others and lifted the foundations of home within myself, I found there were no roots more intimate than a mind and body that have decided to be whole.” – Rupi Kaur
20 | 31 Poems for August 2016

I began writing this at exactly 03:58 a.m. on a Sunday morning while listening to Charles de Gaulle to JFK by Bas.
Lately I write my most honest pieces during the early hours of Sunday mornings while everyone is still fast asleep.
Wonder what the view is like from Charles de Gaulle to JFK, 30 000 feet in the air.
But anyway, you and I still got bad blood between us like sickle-cell anaemia.
Reminiscing back when I used to be close friends with a girl named Amelia.
Guess we drifted apart as soon as I moved back to Pretoria, maybe the distance dismantled our friendship.
I’ve decided to do this all alone and if anyone’s coming along then let them come along.
I wish I could drift way with the scent of this cup of coffee but a few minutes from now it’ll be colder than your shoulder.
Always wondered if you’d head to Cape Town to go study at that school of brand leadership we always talked about.
But you chose to stay at the Pretoria campus because of certain unforeseen circumstances.
In 2014 I got accepted but unfortunately the tuition was too high like Wiz Khalifa and my mother couldn’t afford it.
That’s why I may have the perception that dreams delayed will always feel like dreams denied.
I’ve been praying for three whole years for a miracle, adjusted my faith and became more spiritual but still nothing has changed.
Guess I’m just young and unlucky; my hands are freezing and my heart is bleeding.
Navigated through space and time just to find the time to give you space.
Words unspoken make way for a silent devotion, this whole thing hurts but I try my best not to let my emotions show.
Wonder what happened, we suddenly stopped talking several months ago.
Maybe you have changed, I just hope that you’ve changed for the better.
I am slowly falling apart and all I can think about is gathering the pieces of my broken heart together.
Maybe you have changed for the better, I guess no one works that hard to stay the same.
My hands are freezing and my heart is bleeding, this whole thing hurts but I try my best not to let my emotions show.
lagoli Dec 2015
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Christine Ueri Dec 2013
1976:
black boy, black boy,
we shot you --
nothing left
in your small, shiny black shoes;
your tidy school uniform

2013:
white boy, white boy,
we will not shoot you --
nothing right
in your big, broken black shoes;
your untidy school-form --

instead, we will not teach you

white boy, we will not teach you:
English is for black schools --

Madiba, Madiba:
the jacarandas of Pretoria are dying;
the mimosas in the bushveld
have taken the Acacia tree's name
and beneath the soil,
the roots of South Africa are still
growing, exactly the same?
08.12.2013
Nomkhumbulwa Jan 2019
Enthusiast is a bit of an understatement,
My friend Claire could tell you that;
As we hiked from the West coast to the East coast of Scotland
At night she read "normal things" - while I read maps.

Of course I needed to be sure of the route,
But after 25 miles of walking that wasnt all-
I'd spend at least 3 hours staring and staring
The roads, the woods, the rivers, hostels, churches, pubs and schools....

In fact night after night I spent,
So long engrossed,
That after five nights,
I had one of the strangest dreams ever experienced.

I was "in" an OS map -
Walking a yellow road, past big red triangles,
Counting contours,
And heading straight for the strangest of all -
Just across the red road, the enormous half filled pint glass
- the public house of course!

Surreal dream that was,
But also great fun,
I was in an OS map...
One without people - I was the only one

I did ease up on the map reading after,
Thought I might start hallucinating otherwise,
Claire already thought I was slightly mad,
If I told her we needed to shelter from the rain in the giant pint glass - well, as I said, she already knew I was mad!

But my obsession is not limited to OS maps,
Oh no, its the entire World Atlas;
Continents, Countries, Oceans and territories,
Nothing escapes my attention in the World Atlas.

I have so so many maps,
Because people keep changing things,
From the names of Countries and places
To minor details...bridges...silly little things.

I have a map that says USSR,
The Soviet Union so large,
Now I have another with Russia,
Belarus, Estonia, Ukraine, and others that re-emerged.

Even isolated places like Greenland
People cant make up their mind,
Is it Nuuk or Godthaab?
They are both still there to confuse the mind.

I had a map with Zaire,
Once the biggest country in Africa,
Its now the Democratic Republic of the Congo,
Needed to amend my map of Africa.

Ok, all maps up to date;
Just when I can rest my map brain...
Sudan is then split in two!!
Get out the map Emma - quick - draw a line!!

I dont know what I think would happen
If my maps were not up to date;
But I just cant take the risk,.
I have to change them before its too late.

Most recent of course was Swaziland,
How? Why? When?!
Its ok, i've read about it now,
And I understand...let me get my pen.

But Swaziland is so tiny
Now I need to write eSwatini (!)
My map is now such a mess
Time for a new one? No not yet - Swaziland has not yet changed like the rest!

I have to wait for cartographers
To catch up and make all the changes,
Or otherwise i'll only trust my own map
The one with scribbles all over the pages.

Its not just on a Country scale
Such changes do confuse us,
For even in South Africa alone -
New names replaces the oldies.

Port Elizabeth,
Now Nelson Mandela Bay;
I think its wonderful,
But its not what my map says!

Umtata became Mthata;
Another very welcome change,
But that one letter is on my mind...
Quick - cross out the "u"...in case we go insane!

Nothing is more messed up in my guide books,
Which consist almost exclusively of maps
Than the city of Durban....
Street names have changed...but "not quite yet"

I picked up a local map,
And not shown in the one I carried
- Its still in process of "changing",
So two names there are for almost every road!

Pretoria became Tshwane,
Again I agree with the name change,
But by now the maps in my book
Make so little sense - it could be mistaken for Adelaide!

I wont go into Rhodesia,
There have been so many changes across Africa,
But if they were before I was born,
It somehow doesnt seem so much to matter...

I only get frustrated with
Things that I know,
Before 1980 -
I had no maps to know.

I'd be talking about the Transkei, the Ciskei,
The Orange Free State and all,
More recent but left in the past -
I have none of those on my walls.

I focus more on Africa,
as most will know i'm a bit obsessed,
Being from a British Island on the African Plate,
...with Ascension drifting away with America...albeit very slow.

The Mid Atlantic Ridge runs between them,
From Iceland to the South Pole,
Dividing the Continental plates,
St Helena and Ascension came out of a hole...

My mind drifts a little to Asia,
Although I dont know it as well,
But...is it Burma or Myanmar now?
And is Palestine shrinking still?

Islands cause much fascination,
Being an Islander myself,
But mine is just the tip of a volcano,
The map doesnt show anything else.

As far as Islands go - the Atlantic is easy,
Try staring at the Pacific,
Such a vast and empty ocean,
Hides many secrets...more than the Atlantic.

You may think St Helena isolated,
But only till your eyes enter the Pacific,
It might be a huge mostly empty ocean,
But the vast Island chains are prolific.

There are fracture zone after fracture zone,
Creating Island chains and coral atolls;
From the Coral sea of Australia,
To the Galapagos of South America.

There's Polynesia, there's Melanesia,
Micronesia too;
And within these - hundreds of Islands...
And yes - I've tried to count them too..

We look for other British Islands,
Pitcairn - the most isolated of all;
And what a sorry story to tell..
About 60 people and half of them in jail...

Sometimes im desperately trying to find an Island
To replace my British non-British Island;
Those who think im mad loving South Africa-
Wont even begin to understand.

But this poem is not about emotion,
So i'll mention that no more,
Its more about Geography
- too many Islands to explore.

Staring at the Pacific
Can occupy at least three sleepless nights,
Remembering the names of the islands -
Is a much more difficult plight.

Most heart breaking about this Ocean,
Is the Islands being lost;
Populations having to leave,
As sea levels rise and coral islands are lost...

I think I have found my location,
or a few i'd give a try,
On a large map they simply appear as "bumps"
Surrounded by bigger Islands, and the ocean wide

Sleepless nights have drawn me to Tokelau;
A tiny territory of New Zealand;
Three beautiful coral atolls...
But oh so far from New Zealand.

Less than one thousand people,
Yet with their own language,
The closest Island is Samoa,
That boat journey for me would be a privilege...

The Island has 100% clean energy,
With so few people to sustain,
It's setting an example for the World,
Tokelau looks like "paradise" on my map....if I had to give it a new name...

Indigenous people full of colour,
Flowers round their necks and some clothes a recent thing,
They even have their own musical culture,
Its only mass worry is rising tides - and the flat atolls eventually submerging....

There is another island I look at,
With its tribal peoples far more "untouched",
It really is like a land time forgot,
Although it does have an airport..

It is the Island of "Mog-Mog"...
Yes...I didnt make that up..
It really does exist,
Although I admit it took me years to discover on my map...

I wont mention where it is,
I dont want to give it away;
My maps are full of secrets,
And that is how some should stay.

You can visit from Tahiti,
Which is more like France than its surrounds;
But Mog-Mog is a totally different world,
Dont be fooled by Tahiti - Mog-Mog is part of the "untouched surrounds"

I could talk about these Islands forever,
As even I have not discovered them all,
But I have to finish with the Indian Ocean,
The Chagos Islands are British afterall...

What happened to the Chagossians
was a cruel sin of humankind,
Not just ST Helena suffers at the hands of the British
- Chagossians were forced to leave their Isle behind...

To make way for an American Air base,
Ascension - how familiar does that sound?!
The story of the Chagossian tragedy
Must touch every Islander to be found...

The Chagossians also inspire us however,
For fifty years on they are still fighting,
Fighting to return to their homeland,
Now a heavily guarded secret is their homeland...

My people however dont seem to care,
And that does make me sad;
This is another British Island
Not in the Atlantic, or Caribbean - but that does not make it bad...

The powers at be are so evil
That even after the fifty year lease was up..
The British just signed yet another...
As for the Islanders - they just want forgot...

I support the Chagossian people,
In their desperate fight to go home,
Even after deportation-
Their British Citizenship rights are next to none...

I am not proud of my motherland either,
And im not the only one;
I dont consider myself even British,
I dont "worship" my motherland like some...

I see what is really happening,
In St Helena and other "Crown Territories",
Just take a moment to look at them all....
and let me know if you find any that are totally "free"...

....oppression comes in many forms....

........................Nomkhumbulwa...
This isnt my usual style; it was heavily influenced by a huge amount of Diazepam.  But hey - its less depressing than usual....
For far too long we have been victims of police brutality.
We came in peace but got treated like criminals on the 21st of October.
These are the very same men and women who we trust to protect us.
But they failed us dismally, barricaded us from expressing our concerns.
You could see the visuals all on TV, it was all too hard to believe.
The revolution will not be fully televised, it will be tweeted.
For far too long we’ve accepted the government’s mediocrity.
For far too long we’ve been victims of police brutality.
Your teargas, rubber bullets and stun grenades will never stop us.
Our parents were sold dreams in 1994, we’re just here for the refund.
Now it’s time to finally bump the cheese up, so what’s the hold-up for?
History is repeating itself in South Africa, what a time to be alive.
They’ve become worse than their oppressors but they won’t oppress us.
Sorry for the inconvenience, we are just trying to change the world.
We will keep protesting in Jo’burg, Pretoria and Cape Town until we’re heard.
There’s no amount of police brutality that can dampen our spirits and no gun you make can **** our souls.

Our parents were sold dreams in 1994, we’re just here for the refund.
Now it’s time to finally bump the cheese up, so why is there a hold-up?
Hold up, we’re tired of being victims of hate, fate and police brutality.
We came in peace but got treated like criminals on the 23rd of October.
For far too long we’ve accepted the government’s mediocrity.
Your riot police, rubber bullets and stun grenades will never stop us.
Sorry for the inconvenience, we are just trying to change the world.
When burning buildings come down, I just hope you’ll be ready for us all.
When burning buildings come down, we will effortlessly heed the call.
The title of this poem was inspired by the line from Emeli Sandé's song, Breaking the Law, “When the car doors and all the stairs are making you tired. I will come for you, set the building on fire.”

The poem was inspired by the violent events that occurred in Cape Town and Pretoria, on 21 October 2015 and 23 October 2015 respectively.
22 | 31 Poems for August

You’ve got your hand comfortably placed in mine.
A few minutes ago I was placing kisses down your spine.
Who gave you curves like those and said that you could keep them?
You know how it goes, the thicker the better.
But don’t get too complacent, I’m still drawn to your grey matter.
It’s evident that you’re more about bass than treble.
This is all new to me, I’ve never been on this level.
Let’s become a poem that Pretoria can always snap its fingers to.
But if that doesn’t work out then we’ll travel to Venice, Paris or Moscow.
Maybe even Florence, Rome or Vienna, anywhere you want to go.
When you finally make up your mind then love let me know.
Your fascinating thoughts always inspire the movement of my flow.
It’s within your simplicity where I discovered how beautifully complex you are.
In a sky full of constellations, you are my favourite star.
Don’t leave me behind, I just want you to gently place your hand in mine.
Don’t leave me behind, you’re the one I’ve been patiently waiting to find.
No matter what happens don’t ever let your hand slip out of mine.
JeanlBouwer Oct 2010
When is the final round?
         Conception Semesters Birth
         Sit Crawl First step
         Crèche Primary Secondary
         Bachelors Honours Masters
         Junior Senior Manager
         Lust Love Family
         Unemployed Gainful Pension
         Plan Experience Memory  
                         ∞
When is the final round?
         Field Farm Fort
         Tack Gravel Tar road
         Rural Remote Urban
         Wood Rock Concrete jungle
         Developing Established Revitalization
         White Multi racial Black
         Conservative Liberal Decadent
         Pretoria Tshwane Tshwane Metro
                        ∞
When is the final round?
         Bushmen Dutch British
         Colony Union Republic
         Native Settlers Previously disadvantaged
         Undiscovered Developed Commercial
         Subsistence Commercial Corporation
         Oppressed Equal Masters
         Apartheid Democracy Socialistic rule
         Logical Confused Insane
We decide when the fianl round begins.
Migrating white butterflies
Like snowflakes in mid-summer
Dancing on heat waves of January skies
Thousands upon thousands,
Can't tell one from another
This must be the celebration to summer.

Like some mystic fable they appear by magic
Their wild scattered bouncy flight
Springs chaos amongst all city logic
For they paint a rural innocent insight
To the mysteries of summer's secrets.

Their cascade is tumbling northwards
Like bubbles blown from a gypsy child
Hidden in these concrete woods
Hearts wild yet breath so mild
They simply pass as lacey summer reflection.
When living in the city it is a delight to see nature.
1 | 31 Poems for August

I want to do more than just write poetry.
I want to paint pictures.
So be my muse and surrender your body as my canvas.
I’ll make every single swift stroke bring you to life.
I’ll show you what this brush of mine is capable of.
You are the sun that my sky yearns to hold.
Beautiful cocoa butter skin.
Your beauty is not only found on your exterior but every single place within.
I want to insert my poems in every single atom in this galaxy.
So that you can feel my love wherever you go.
From Pretoria to Toronto.
From Jo’burg to Moscow.
From Cape Town to Glasgow.
Static thoughts and kinetic conversations inspire my flow.
I have thoughts that my words cannot describe and I wish to share them with the world.
I wish to share them with you.
I love the way your eyes see past my smile and deep into the fibres of my soul.
I love the way your smile makes me whole.
Let’s become a poem our friends can always snap their fingers to.
I want to hold your body the way canvas portrays paint.
I want to kiss your lips while I gently hold your waist.
I want to do more than just write poetry.
I want to tell the world about you.
Let me tell the world about you.
First poem for the 31 Poems for August series.
Una voz ancestral,
un tambor africano
y un verso elemental
peruano.
El ***** en el Perú
actualmente no sufre,
ya no hay esclavitud
ni azufre.
Le dieron tibio baño
en tina de jabón
porque en su ama dio el germen
que no tuvo el patrón.
Del seno de mi abuela
a mi madre brindó,
el hijo del amito
mamó, mamó, mamó.
Y mi abuelo con su amo
en la Casa ´e Jarana
cantujaron de alirio,
cantujaron replana.
Y en la casa ´e jarana
-con el Amito Viejo-
bailaron mis hermanas
zamacueca y festejo.
El padre de mi amito
de mi abuela gustó
y mi abuelo a su amita burló.
Yo le dijera "primo"
a ese blanco travieso
de cabello enrizao
y de labio muy grueso...
El ***** en el Perú
actualmente no sufre,
ya no hay esclavitud
ni azufre.
Más ha sufrido el *****
nuestro hermano de Cuba
descendiente directo
nagó, yoruba.
Más ha sufrido el *****
muerto en Santo Domingo
por los diarios abusos del ******.
Más ha sufrido el *****
cantor de Panamá
que el ***** jaranista
de acá.
Más ha sufrido el *****
labrador de Haití
que el zambo guaragüero
de aquí.
Más ha sufrido el *****
del morro y la favela
que mi padre y mi madre
y mi abuela.
En fin, más sufre el *****
de Harlem a Lousiana
que nuestra gente negra
peruana...
 
Y al "problema del *****"
-segregación racial-
el mundo permanece
neutral.
Quiero aguda mi rima
como ***** de lanza.
Que otra mano la esgrima
si alcanza.
Yo jamás con voz hurgo
perentoria.
Yo ja... ¡Johanesburgo!
¡Pretoria!
Cuando en Johannesburgo
llegue el "Día de Sangre"
yo quiero estar allí,
compadre.
Cuando en Johannesburgo
llegue el "Día de Sangre"
debemos estar todos
¡Hijos de negra madre!
Con la voz ancestral
el machete en la mano
y el verso elemental
hermano.
Dr Troy Sep 2019
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17 | 31 Poems for August 2016

I understand the fact that I am not always easy to understand.
Loving me is complicated and maybe that’s the beauty of it all.
I never really knew how to handle this beautiful thing called love.
So I always thought that someone would be able to show me how.
You’re not easy to love” are words I’ve heard too many times before.
My hyperhidrosis is evident but how long will you keep on looking?
I know that my smile is flawed and crooked but it’s worth the picture still.
Let me write my wrongs until I’m right within but where should I begin?
Walking through a graveyard littered with my ideas and thoughts.
Littered with my endeavours of trying to be someone worthy of your love.
You don’t believe in me so who am I to tell the world about our story?
Just another spoken-word poet from Pretoria trying to attain his glory.
These words are written with great effort but you never pay attention anyway.
You know that I’ve got hyperhidrosis but I try not to sweat the small stuff.
I never really knew how to handle this beautiful thing called love.
So I always thought that someone would be able to show me how.
You’re not easy to love” are words I’ve heard too many times before.
My hyperhidrosis is evident but how long will people keep on looking?
I know that my smile is flawed and crooked but it’s worth the picture still.
writing stuff, not physically,
curled up in the big settee.

opened the window behind me,
talked to pretoria, prettily.

not hard work, packing stuff,
to go, unless big and unwieldy.

midsummer yesterday, it was
not difficult to see it through, warm
and sunny.

dreaming of war tired me.

yellow star houses.

sbm.
Dr Troy Sep 2019
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Nostalgic May 2020
HATE AGAINST SELF-HATE

Convictions from your neighbor
Parents always find new problems to address
Nocturnal thoughts usher everything you did wrong
Everything you can’t obtain yet obsess
And there’s nothing like being reminded of your most cunning regrets

But you know what
It’s alright

It’s alright to not have your crush crush over you
To only have two of your 2000 followers actually tell you the truth
Like your post and send genuine messages below your texts after retweeting “we love you”

It’s alright
To not have a flat stomach
And skip a day of bathing now and then
To have a long list of contacts and have  more than 100 view your status but to only have one on your speed dial that you call a friend

Hey listen, it’s alright
To spend days in bed, alone
To switch of your data and switch it on a day later to no messages or missed calls and question the real reason you have a phone

To completely **** at social media
And have the oldest version of WhatsApp and actually deplete your data on tumblr, google searches and checking updates on Wikipedia
To spend months indoors, hey!
Better the chances of your survival if listeriosis decides to be airborne
To use twitter for the free ****

Don’t worry yourself
It’s alright
To actually be the real deal photographer when overnight picture takers already make money and you don’t
To not have the retro vans
In black and white
Or the adidas tracksuit pants with protruding stripes
You don’t have to lie about living your best life if your just the best at just living life

It’s alright
You don’t have to have 100 pictures on your Instagram
You can just use it until your crush posts about their break up
So you can go back to saying how ****** men are
How they can’t value you because you laugh at your own jokes
Simply because no one is around to say, that’s the third time now Grace
That while other girls have **** collections you have a meme collection

Baby girl it’s alright
To have Nicki Minaj’s album cover have you question the beauty of the girl in the reflection
Or how you don’t look like Beyoncé after you pointed at her hairstyle in the saloon
How you don’t know what it is that stops you from loving yourself the way you claim to with #Snack and #Mood on your Twitter

It’s called escapism, socially enticed envy and identity disphoria darling
You know what it is now so stop crying whenever your phone is off
Going live on Instagram and having two viewers and no comments is alright

In fact it’s completely fine
It’s alright
To be the way you are right now
To keep a healthy diet because you want to see what asparagus will do to your taste buds
It’s nasty by the way so stick to McDonald’s chips and Nando’s fresh buns ohh the white powder!!!
Why choose to starve yourself and master the catwalk when the runway isn’t calling
Why trip over love when you don’t remember falling
Why entertain rude guys to keep a social life when your solitude was never boring
Why complicate your life when you slept easier knowing your phone could be off but they called you simple
Now they have no words of comfort to crutch you when their shallow thoughts are the reason you’re socially crippled
Braam is dope
Pretoria is amazing
Rosebank is fantastic
but pizza at home with choc chipped ice cream watching the Avengers is just something

It’s alright bro
Six pack for who
I know brothers chiseled from iron that still get the flu
My crooked smile does wonders
These broad shoulder looking men that skip leg day are going through a stage
I personally go to the gym to outrun a dog that escaped from its cage

It’s alright fam
You are not the same
And that’s something great
As a kid you said you wanted to be different
You’re finally here
The next time you’re invited to a Braai
While others offer expectations, mediocrity and FOMO because they can’t wait
You’ll bring innovation, uniqueness, patiences and a true definition of what a human being is overflowing on your plate

It’s alright
Stay real!
Stop hating yourself, it’s detrimental and chaotic. It will take you to a deep trench you will spend your life trying to dig yourself out of. It’s hereditary
11 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

We made passionate love during that one autumn night in Pretoria.
Our relationship had its flaws but we always got high off the euphoria.
Somehow the best part of me was always you, but you’re gone now and I’m always feeling blue.
It was a Friday night on April 1st, I guess I was a fool for falling for you and believing all you said was true.
You may have forgotten me ever since I’ve been away but I waited on you for too many days since February.
Why did you settle for a takeaway when you knew you would’ve had the world on a silver platter?
Now that you’ve left, I realised how you were right when you said that I deserve someone better.
But where is this “better” that you constantly spoke about days before you broke up with me?
I cannot seem to find it; I even went back to Hatfield several months ago to see if I had missed something.
I have been MIA on love ever since you’ve been away; I waited on you for too many days since February.
Or maybe it was May, but you don’t care and I don’t remember because maybe it doesn’t matter anyway.
Or anymore and lately I’ve been zoning out to Paramore and getting high off paper planes than ever before.
Somehow the best part of me was always you, but you’re gone now and I’m always feeling blue.
I guess I was a fool for falling for you and believing all you said was true.
Paramore – Ain't it Fun
12 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I just wanted to create a few unforgettable memories.
Every night we mixed *****, love, ***, **** and Hennessy.
After all this time, I do not know why I am still longing for you.
Even after all the painful and senseless **** you put me through.
I turned my pain into poetry and I haven’t looked back ever since.
I wish you’d never ask about my love life because I could never love or be loved right.

After all this time, I do not know why I am still longing for you.
Even after all the painful and stressful **** you put me through.
I remember you from your beautiful brown eyes down to the empty promises you cursed me with.
I was a lost boy in my youth and I spent most of my precious time blowing smoke in my room.
I hope you have found a way to finally stop smoking cigarettes and drinking ***** like there’s a message in the bottle.
I hope you have finally found peace, love and happiness in this wonderful city called Pretoria.
Everyone in your life changed but I didn’t, I guess you were wrong about me.
It’s June now so while you find comfort in your complacency just know that I’ll be leaving soon.
4 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I had you constantly coming down a few minutes after breaking down.
In the presence of clumsy hands, fragile hearts break like porcelain does.
It is summer time somewhere but it is currently autumn right here in Pretoria.
Sometimes I wish that you’d never ask about my love life because I could never love or be loved right.
Love is the highest vibration and that’s why I always feel tremors every time I step out of my comfort zone.
You remind me of the month of August, you always remind me of the calmness of the colour blue.
Like a painter admiring the presence of his exquisite muse, I can’t stop looking at every colour of you.
Love is the highest vibration and that’s why I always feel tremors every time I step out of my comfort zone.
We cannot survive in the world with all these secrets that we have if all that we have is a lie.
Love is the result of all the vibrations of tremors that shook a long time ago.
Dr Troy Sep 2019
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Ken Pepiton Sep 2022
-Xenophon leads me on… in another place… here
Aft amorning entranct with possibilities. Yo crero.
Someday you, is reading thisday me, when
from Under the Volcano
to the Lighthouse, bemused, as muses use us. Little things, elves. Ves-try best try, purple robe,

- the nobels dismounted
By and by, we learn the rhythm, sing song, none
Said wrong -goin’ up country… doin’s as we do…
goin up country, bring some ***** home
Woe baby war war war, holy war, face o’ god,
- Click, new channel, and the other one goes on… abysmally pro fundity, pay eh…
No mortal may gaze into, as the window of his own soul,  may gaze eyes ablaze, having
Witnessed the fact that the shining thing, tasting
The wait and see tree, {we asked why we could not eat the olives from the tree, but remembert green persimmons. So we let patience work}
We name first fruits, from the end of time, wait
Wait wait wait wait wait
Fifty years. Just wait. Suffer it to be so, never go
-away hungery, or mad, as the author, seeks cause, aitia, reason come to cause,
meet me at the t. aitia, I am, as amusement, a thoth thought that any Solomonic emulation can run. Pocket Pal, or a B natural Blues Harp, or
Some times I sing. Or whistle, just to let me know,
We remain just this sane, by a thread…
Of Anabasis, goin’ up country
Bound, bound bound by my brothers,
Marching
As to war, God gives us greed, t’ meet our need
Jones to the bones, pure-dee vine curiosity
how were such armies formed, gathered up,
from where, whence came the brazen helms
the hoplites sport on inspection and demo charge,
with a roar like highschool foot ball kick-off,
same surge of mob adrenal reasoning, tuned in,
sheee it, we, she-us, wh-then, the signal dropped out. Zero beat.
Right on. Tune tested, best of 300, in the top 3.
- look there were multiple versions
- the story of mankind, as we branched,
by means of confoundment… flattening,
Tin into brass, folding, and flattening, pounding
On an oak stump, oh,
Long time ago, this stump, see we cut it down,
slow, slow, old man fades, see,
Time as thought is time as time, to me, thinking this is all I bloomed to become.
About 1957, I learned that an old Persian olive
cultivar on Crete, or anywhere around there,
takes fifty years to reach maturity, full fruct-
if-ication…

So me, the guy after the secondplace hero,
Xenophon, you know, the rich geek,
Teddy Roosevelt, right, right right, just
like his character,
Legendary… like mine. My best me, I did boast,
But freedmen, as a class. Raise a brow, one notch,
Per sold out, wait, wait, wait till we see, the whites of their eyes, the others, sub-human, by god… hold your fire… wait
Or regret you have but one life to give, for your country. Do and die, be an Israelite indeed, guiless.--- unbeguiled, no guilt for knowing…
And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not… in deed…

High-brow mode. Click. Read the underlay,
life’s books, exist as onion-skinned palimpsests,
- Secret writing , not hid, just here, under
- Stood stones, such as we all learn, sing
- Song,  look at us, we’re marching, sing along… to Pretoria, pre- torie, eh, we
Dropped out. And ate dust. Dots in the distance,
Thunder in some dreams, tuned to take a non-anxious thought from a child so sure,
I’ve got a mansion,
just over the hilltop, in that bright land of after all.
We die. And lo’, we live, as words,
A word, to the wise, is enough… true rest compresses trust abused as a beggars tin-cup, to catch the rich man’s ball…
yes, I owned a silver cup… not tin, silver.
I was as proud of that cup as what’shisname,
The Left-handed Son of One-eyed Jack.
He had a buffalo hide. A whole, shaggy hair,
old, too old for fleas, buffalo hide,
he held in pride, the ownership
of special things kind of pride, not the gay abandon chains and don a Phryigian cap and
wrap the headsman’s axe in our threshing staves.
How high the brow, I raise, singlely, no, I lack that gene, yet, my lip doth sneer, left side only,
Thus, we flip the lense, then flip the pixels, yes,
Film effects, chaos in beauteous sfumato or chiaroscuro, something computers were taught,
finally, by sight. True, half-tone tech, made Chiaroscuro Computer Art, vision via metrics based on artist’s eyes, won me first prize,
An the 1986 Mohave County Fair, where we
Displayed our wares, and our networked Macs.
SE- latest, dual 3,5” floppies…
$3200, out the door. I never sold a one,
but to me. Wholesale, minus my commission, as the flooring was running out, interest
about to come for the accounting and the vig,
Keep hope alive, pay us all you can, we say when,
Enough’s enough, left right left, mental exercise,
Stretch the concepts… essentials first, must know
Knowns, we knowns, we all know, stories with morals, since the cradle,
So it seems, some think wombed Bach is better than acid rock,
time will tell, so they say. Vonnegut mutters,
So it goes.
Canned Heat, on youtube, at my whim, yeah,
Play it from the second verse, we all can think,
We were singing that, when Kurt Russell was a computer wearing tennis shoes, in a strange
Disney characters from the real Mickey Mouse club, with Lonnie, and Cubbie, and Annette –
Beach Blanket Bingo—war story
Flip for it, the novel thread is chance, fishing
For mental means to ends in minds, aimed at peace, post happiness achieved, on the Lincoln plan promoted with Famous Amos Chocolate Chips of the old block,
Yes, as you may imagine, carbon-steel, is new
To mankind, almost all the tools we use, are new.
Since 1969, have we learned any thing that might ease a child’s mind… after My Lai, or the like,
As soldier ants, enforce the others must die, we are protectors of the flag and the concept enclosed in the word republic, a we form, regimented,
Tools,
Trades and crafts,
Guardians of liberty,
Priests and experts in knowing signs
Left on stones for all to see, see, see and
So-bemused become, awe sets in, couch lock
Right, too right, mate, good enough, we got mind
Sunk… lowest point in south America is in Argentina. And what do you know, so is the highest. Learn it once,
Know it for ever, after any ever in progress.
So, that is all I had to say about that. at the time.
Dr Troy Sep 2019
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Dr Troy Sep 2019
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There are no side effects known to occur from this supplement.
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Bigger, harder and more frequent erections.
Enhanced desire, power, pleasure and performance.
Massively intense and electrifying *******.
Increased endurance for longer lasting sessions.
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Enhance male pleasure and performance with this reliable men's product.
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This Will Be Helpful To You If You Are Looking For The Best ***** Enlargement Products And You Have:
Small Size.
Male Low Libido.
Male Impotence.
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Premature *******.
Cannot Satisfy Your Partner.
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Poetic Thoughts Aug 2015
Me : bye.
bad habit: bye?
Me : yeah. They say it takes 21 days to get rid of a bad habit. Tomorrow is day one. So for now, bye.
Bad Habit : what bad habit?
Me : you.
People too, can be bad habits.
Day 1. My brain kept yelling at my heart, asking her to stop weeping over a love she won’t receive. Brain warned heart and heart didn’t listen. The rest of my body tried ignoring this Civil War, attempting to find ways to keep me busy. Heart wept so much it worried Brain to spending the night numb to everything but my ears just to make sure Heart wouldn’t give in and stop pumping blood or convince Lungs to stop breathing.
Day 2. I spent my day locked up in my room browsing the Internet and having consecutive naps but you kept running in my mind and weighing me down. You are the reason I am weak, not the lack of food. I went to see my best friend at dawn because you shout in my mind and stab my heart when it gets dark and I was actually afraid of being by myself. I couldn’t witnesses parts of me fighting because of you all night again. I kept thinking of how I shouldn’t be thinking of you. My mind is very upset with my heart.
Day 3. I spent the day with my friends and we danced all day and you weren’t in my mind until a handsome guy came my way and all I could talk to him was about you. I thought I was getting cured but it seems that my mind is playing a cruel joke on me.
Day 4. My knuckles are ****** from all the ways I tried to stop myself from texting you. Eventually, I had to delete your numbers and block you from every social network to stop myself from talking to you.
Day 5 : I saw my doctor today. I have to go to Pretoria for further mental evaluation. It seems like you did more damage than I had presumed.
Day 6 : We could have been so much better together. I was ready to grow in love with you. I don’t understand how one can fear commitment or love itself so awfully. Am I the only one who felt the fire we make?
Day 7 : I found myself thinking of you with other girls. I feel sorry for them. You will look for me in every girl you come across. I am not replaceable. They will find pieces of me left behind inside of you along their attempts to love you, they will keep bumping into me.
Day 8 : I talked to your brother today. He said you say I’m a warrior and you are happy I’ve moved on but really, I am weak. I could cry an entire ocean into existence and swim across it if that would bring you back into my life. I am not without you.
Day 9 : I laughed without you today.
Day 10 : when I woke up, you weren’t the first thing on my mind. I fell asleep on my mother’s lap.
Day 11 : I stopped wearing your t-shirt to bed.
Day 12 : maybe I love me more than I think I love you.
Day 13 : I spent the whole day in your t-shirt listening to our favourite album and cried whenever our favourite parts played. I’ve forgotten how your touch feels but your scent still quivers up my nostrils when I hold onto myself for long enough.
Day 14 : Maybe we will meet again next life time. Maybe it will work out next life time. Maybe I should get out of bed, take off your shirt, take a shower and have a warm meal. Maybe I will lay here in the dark until you return.
Day 15 : I remember the night you kissed my neck and carved “forever” on my left thigh with your finger tips.
Day 16 : I miss you quiet terribly.
Day 17 : How long does a human being go without food or water again?
Day 18 : I cry but the tears don’t come out anymore. I cry in silence. Mother begged me to have breakfast this morning. I asked for coffee instead. Two sugars, no milk. Just the way you like it.
Day 19 : My mind won’t let me rest. My mind is trying to find you. You promised me forever. I’m still here. Where are you now?
Day 20 : I finally got out of bed for a shower. I put your shirt back on. I cannot let it get washed. Too much of what I had with you has been washed away already.
Day 21 : I swept the piles of our memories together in a neat lump behind my heart. I’m expecting your visit...so i can tell you i did my time, Goodbye.
#verbalreigns #evelyn #longpoem
talk of concrete in pretoria
thoughts on moths in wales.

there is only air between .

talk goes on all day, about the heat,
the rain and drizzle,
no thoughts on the shipping
forecast. words red, remembered.

the bird, the boy, the machine,
there is only air between.

sbm.
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It makes perfect sense to get the best and 100%natural strong one
Supercharge will help you to perform when you need to.
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There are no side effects known to occur from this supplement.
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This Will Be Helpful To You If You Are Looking For The Best ***** Enlargement Products And You Have:
Small Size.
Male Low Libido.
Male Impotence.
Laziness in the Bed.
Premature *******.
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— The End —