❤Your kiss is a shadow of fear that
surrounds me
The blood of that fear consumes me
You've become the air I'm breathing
As I've become the song your singing

We run through the door
Throwing our clothes on the floor
We jump into bed
And pull the covers up over our head
We cuddle all through the night
Nothing else has ever felt this right
As long as it's you by my side
I will never feel hurt inside

Your love is like a poisen that keeps running thru my vains
I know I shouldn't taste it but my life would never be the same
Blood is the bridge that binds us together
While the past is what keeps us
apart

We run through the door
Throwing our clothes on the floor
We jump into bed
And pull the covers up over our head
We cuddle all through the night
Nothing else has ever felt this right
As long as it's you by my side
I will never feel hurt inside

Every time I look into your eyes
that is when I realize
Your as much a part of me
as I am of you
Without us in eachothers lives
A part of our soul would surly die!

We run through the door
Throwing our clothes on the floor
We jump into bed
And pull the covers up over our head
We cuddle all through the night
Nothing else has ever felt this right
As long as it's you by my side
I will never feel hurt inside

Your blood is like a poisen I know I should not taste
With every breath I breathe, it's become something I don't want to waste

We run through the door
Throwing our clothes on the floor
We jump into bed
And pull the covers up over our head
We cuddle all through the night
Nothing else has ever felt this right
As long as it's you by my side
I will never feel hurt inside

Im tempted by your poisen even though I know what's in store
With every day I find myself always wanting more
My soul has become very fragiel
If you touch it, it will break

Is this madness how can it be?
You all sold your souls and have forsaken me.
Poisen the well and ask me to drink.
call yourselves friends makes me really have to
step back and think.

Keep your heads above water cause shallow are your words.
My tongue is a razor.
Chop you up and flush you down the sewer with the rest of the turds.

To my face you speak lies backstabbers Inc.
Hello reeks of false goodbyes.

Who are you to cast me aside.
Madness has set in but id sooner trust a snake
than in you confide.

Poisen are your well shallow and cruel.
Think you understand this game?
Well it's time to take you all to school!

Your kiss is a shadow of fear that
surrounds me
The blood of that fear consumes me
You've become the air I'm breathing
As I've become the song your singing

We run through the door
Throwing our clothes on the floor
We jump into bed
And pull the covers up over our head
We cuddle all through the night
Nothing else has ever felt this right
As long as it's you by my side
I will never feel hurt inside

Your love is like a poisen that keeps running thru my vains
I know I shouldn't taste it but my life would never be the same
Blood is the bridge that binds us together
While the past is what keeps us
apart

We run through the door
Throwing our clothes on the floor
We jump into bed
And pull the covers up over our head
We cuddle all through the night
Nothing else has ever felt this right
As long as it's you by my side
I will never feel hurt inside

Every time I look into your eyes
that is when I realize
Your as much a part of me
as I am of you
Without us in eachothers lives
A part of our soul would surly die!

We run through the door
Throwing our clothes on the floor
We jump into bed
And pull the covers up over our head
We cuddle all through the night
Nothing else has ever felt this right
As long as it's you by my side
I will never feel hurt inside

Your blood is like a poisen I know I should not taste
With every breath I breathe, it's  become something I don't want to waste

We run through the door
Throwing our clothes on the floor
We jump into bed
And pull the covers up over our head
We cuddle all through the night
Nothing else has ever felt this right
As long as it's you by my side
I will never feel hurt inside

Im tempted by your poisen even though I know what's in store
With every day I find myself always wanting more
My soul has become very fragiel
If you touch it, it will break

The momment I realized
facebook
was a pokedex for people
Was the moment I realized
I don't want to catch them all.

Some pokemon aren't worth the trouble.
Let alone making it double.

Abra for instance,
I understand you like spooning
but if you're going to teleport
every time I throw the Pokeball,
maybe it's best you stay in the cave.

cubone:
Did you ever think maybe,
wearing the skull
of your dead mother
for protection
might mean
you have some serious family baggage?

Pidgey:
I shouldn't have to keep buying repels
to keep you away.
If I stroll through the tall grass
You appear every five minutes
Without realizing I AM IGNORING YOU.
Perhaps you should wait
until I throw another ball.

I'm trying
to catch different pokemon right now
Who fit my team better
Have the Nature I want.

You had your chance
to be in my party
When I fed you that Razz berry
threw the first ball.
Caught you.
then you Evolved
into this big mouthed Golbat
About to swallow me whole.

Trainers.
Stop spending time on toxic pokemon
Poisen types, koffing and wheezing.
Psychic types that play you puppet.

Don't throw the ball to them
Let their grass rustle.
Walk on by
I'm transfering mine in for candies
Catching Shinies
legendaries whom there are only one of in this world.

I stopped trying to catch them all.
I'm searching the high ground
taking time to look at their move set
Running around town with them.

We'll EV train each other,
Get every badge together.
BEAT THE ELITE FOUR
Get knocked down
Go to the pokecenter
Do, do, dodo DO!
Get right back up, together.
Because it's not about catching them all.
It's about healing the ones that you have.

Its always in goodbye we taste what is the essense of that scar called love.
Pain in nature and no words can capture remorse as well as a milepost in a reaview of thought.
It was there we togather once called home now like a tombstone it stands a marker of what was never to be.

Fracture of heart and bitterness my seal.
Im the leftovers of another we can cleanse this logic or simply say ***** it all and regress.
Forever a lie to the young and a curse to the old.
Has it burned this earth and killed me to all that dare to know
what I could never explain.?  

A dance of years now a thought no drug has yet to erase.
Pills aside your drug was the best poisen ive known even with another I
know paradise was a cancer ive long since left behind yet a simple moment can make me slide
into a vice that will see me fall for the last time till next.

Im the clown that circus left behind.
Now a skeleton for home I  ask why leaving takes a milestone and emptyness a downpour
as my desert has long stayed dry.

Read the riddle like a oinion pealed only more layers remain.
hell has welcome thought for ive found more toture here.
Voices haunt my thoughts as emptyness thrives inmy existance.
Its has misreble as when we knew each others love please drown so I can
breath life into this wornout frame one last time.

Winter's chill reminds me of what we never had yet again.
People often question what has no meaning to begin with.
As for me I avoid its poisen a scared child hidden in shadow of a
lesser man.

Nothing stands as a reminder of pages wasted in promise of a day that never came.
Sometimes I view that place were we were more than a bad memory and a traggic vice.
Sometimes I yern only for end to what has never been allowed to begin.

The worst prison of all is the mind.

Ever see two sappy ****** in the a park holding hands no ******* clue there on the verge of sugar coated
insanity that twisted mind **** known as love.
Yeah you ignore all the warnings of sanity ***** it im in love!

You just cant get enough of each other you **** like two rabbits
and it's perfect but thats never good enough the way it is.
Oh **** no cause then after you sample ya gotta commit  and unlike suicide
there isnt a happy ending.

Then one of you starts to wonder hey ya think are they cheating?
Well if they are tahn im sure as hell going to!
Like two kids you have to out do the other.

Hey I ****** your sister!
Yeah well I ****** your brother and your ******* cousin.
Yeah now it makes sense why he's been so dam happy.

Love is the poisen that ***** up the pie children like it or not it is.
It's like the sober ***** at the party who usedto be fun till he found Jesus
or some other superhero and wants to tell you how better his life is now.

When all truth the guy wants to crack you over the head steal your beer
but his head between a pair of big ***'s and say **** being sober lets drink till we hit the floor.

Yeah sure you may think Im a ***** and that love is everything thjat makes this marble roll.
Yeah and if thats so Santa Claus is coming to town and he's bringin Elvis and Tupac and there
gonna have ******* with  Lady Ga Ga   While ****** Doo films it.

Love does exist of course.
Sure I see the old farts who been togather for so long they dont even have to tell
each other how much they dislike the other.

Love is a moment nothing more.
And like red wine in the hand of some old lush you just pray
it doesnt get spilled on the carpet cause it's hell to get out.

But for the young and horney out there enjoy the fun that happens befor that
std kicks in  cause kids sometimes love hurts and really ****** burns.

Knotts Island  10:oo pm wedsday Feb  9   2011

It was like any other night spent at the doctors office slash
Dr Jerry's trailer.
Drink fine deep conversation about world events and *******.

I had went to the porch for some  introspection  and to take a ****.
Dear Lord Man!
What I saw was proof i had done way to many drugs and slipped yet into another rambling state of Gonzo.

White  powder covered the ground  it was a gift from Jesus or Elvis really   whats the diffrence?
Hunk a hunk burning  clap  it was pouring ******* from the sky !
I burst through the door like Lindsy Lohan fresh outta rehab

Jerry !  
Gonzo!  
Jerry!
Gonzo!
What are we yelling about Jerry?

I dont know but zip your pants up.
I know your a **** but I dont need to see it as proof.
Jerry a doctor a fellow brother of Gonzo
and true deep thinker.

****** man what was i gonna say i really need to lay off
the drink *******  Dr Pepper.
Well smack my **** and paint me purple and sell me to the Canadians.
dont ask.

Jerry good lord man look  outside its a true miricle.
Now only if it would rain strippers and wild turkey.
That would really be proof the easter bunny existed!

Jerry shaking his head for he knew his drugged out mental asylum bound  friend with a heart of gold or at least bronz  needed some alone
time in a padded cell looked out the window.

See i told you !
It's ******* snow Gonz ya *****.
snow what the hell's that I thought to myself while speaking
out load on a poetry site   where people think what the **** is wrong with him.

****** I should go outside more than once a year.
these seasons really throw me off like Skeeter  on
a cold night.
****** i told you  not untill you pay for last time ******!

She was a true lady just wish she took credit.
After a breif explanation time travel and where babies come from.
Dr Jerry returned to his favorite hobby surffing facebook
for underage *****  hey dont judge  how do ya think i met my wife?

Yeah man look at this one amigo sent me a friends request.
Jerry showed me a pic of a hot looking chick
and being she was good looking and talking to Jerry ment either
two things.

One the Gonzo On facebook page was down due to such high traffic
cause im super awsome.
Dork  you got like 14 friends.
Jerry went back to looking at the computer screen.
ha ha ha ha ha *** not funny.
Cyberperve!
I know you are but what am I?!

****** man he always get's me with his mature 40 something living
in his grandmas back yard  logic oh snap girlfriend.

Or Two  this little monkey  was really a ****** or a mormon
whats  the diffrence but enough with the foreplay children.
Jerry sat deep in thought and four **** hits and ten shots of turkey later sat the puzzled.

Amigo what do i say to break the ice?

The lights dimmed  a voice from the heavens spoke or New Jersy
John Tesh  apeared from the closet  ****** man i thought i herd really boring music from there i thought the rat poisen would get him for sure.      
    
When thought's are blured and both hands are busy.
When you just cant seem to find the words to break the
ice to that hot little hamster across the net,

Take that extension cord from around your neck and get
head out the oven dam you Slyvia Plath.
Just call dah da da dah da or however it ****** goes
sorry i dont watch   super hero movies although
I need a pair of thoose tights.
IT'S A JOB FOR GONZO.

Move aside silly girl I'll break the ice for you!
Umm  no Gonz thats okay Jerry replyed in that no
but it means  yes seductive five packs of cigs a day
sandpaper voice of his.

Trust me Jerry  Im a writer and i know how to
talk to the ladies  yes my friend how they do love Gonzo
Oh they pull out there pepper spray fire there guns
but inside they have a thirst for crazy.

No Gonz it's okay.
Dont mention it Jerry.
Gonz !
Jerry !
Gonz!
Jerry!
What the **** were we talking about and why the ****
are you in my lap!
Good question my friend but least your happy to see me.

At the keys the master or insane half wit began his
works of geinus this would break the ice for sure!

Dear Sarah

Wow all I can say is me likey.
And may I say that sweater really brings out your *******.
We should get togather and  talk  bout  things
while naked in bed to bare are souls.

Something about me.
My name is Jerry im  superbadass hells yeah.
I like drinking other peoples beer i can bench like a
thousand pounds.

I have a big   tv. What get your mind outta the gutter!
Lets drop the small talk you know ya want it why fight it.
Let that inner tigress out meow kitty  
Lets get naugthy and do things to make us both
purr in the litter box.

Kisses Dr Jerry   giggles and a gay *** emicon,
xoxoxo.

Yeah I know what your saying no wonder im such a ****.
And no wonder i have to pay for *** and im always alone.

After some mock tears and a snuggle   we waited for I know a
turned on little nymphs  reply.

Hey Kids it's  time to play are favorite snow game.
car surffing  in the blizzard cause im a drunken idiot
okay that kinda hurt.

Driving around the mean streets of KI  hopping officer
Rutherford was off duty or searching some drunk woman
looking for  some goodies hey I wonder where my sister is?

We at the rip roaring speed of 10 miles a hour What ?!
Hey saftey first that and the snow made it really hard for Jerry to hold onto the roof and pass the bottle.

We laughed we cried we lit are farts and made a beautiful
snow sculpture of two snow people getting freaky right in the middle of the road  hey kids blame it on the Beatles.

After we took out a few mail boxes stole a few garden gnomes
And taught a jaded soul how to love agian  we were
back at the office slash trailer in jerry's grandmas backyard
yes to think he's really come a long way since the tent.

By the warmth of the fire  music and fine drink to
match are deep conversation.

Hey dude ya think think that extenze stuff really works?
And if so if you took a lifetime supply  could you answer the door without getting outta bed?.      
        
The knock at the door was sudden.
****** man I knew it! Snow monkeys hide the
penut butter  and  put on some Kenny G!
Hey **** Kenny G  
Dam you John Tesh Go back into the closet where you belong!

Jerry looked at me as he usally does.
Like this ******* really needs some shock treatment.
Talk about a charge.

After Jerry assured me it wasnt the artic monkey's come to take there revenge   and promised to read me a bed time story what!
I have a inner child oh was starved of kickass stories.
Like Jack And The Beanstalk ,Catcher And The Rye,Or Debbie Does Dallas.

I opened the door to see a  large angry looking man
with a axe in his hand hmm dam lumber jacks  there always
on the job.

Are you the perve that wrote my 13 year old daughter that perverted
email on facebook?

Oh no im Gonzo im the other pervert who writes really long rambling stories on a a poetry website that arent really poetry
or very good,And drinks alot and doesnt make much sense

Yet always bring a laugh to demented people across the globe
cause yeah im super bad ***...

The man stood unfazed gritting his teeeth *******
me with his eyes hey it's cold okay.

Uhh no sir that's the perve your looking for over there
looking at your daughters pics hey ****** man we have
company  stop that.

I made my exit to the sound of screams it was like
a pit bull was latched onto a girl scout the agony    
Well looks like things were off to a good start Jerry was already meeting Sarahs  parent.

No need to thank me  Jerry
Remember kids if ya need a little help in time of need.
Look no further than Gonzo.

Slower than a fast moving virus.
He can leap small dwarfs and some short big girls in a single bound
kinda.

Gonzo fly's  of into the night in a epic soon to be forgotten.
B movie moment.
Stay Crazy.

Look Im flying.  **** tree!

Splat , Crash, Boom  Ouch Shitfire And Flying Monkeys
Next time I'll take a cab.

Adios Amigo's

Keep chanting your submerged voices.
Lonely in the back of the room.
Too loud now
To hear the folklore.
Let them paint you poisen.
Label you the enemy.
Let them get high off the scent of rebellion.
They think we had our day.
That it's time for an uproot, a change.
When we're done letting them speak.
Let's hold a wedding in their honnor.
May no man leave unbled.

Run from me.
Did you run from me?
No baby runs faster into my arms, i'll cause you no harm.
I can softly soothe my icelace fingers into the sockets of your eyes, my hands may shake but it's only from love as I move your veiny white eyes to my palms, let them melt like your voice let them drip like your bottom half on my ***.
And now you just can't look away, i'll stare into your eyes forevermore, forevermore.
Oh darling, you're trying so hard to get away, Its so ******* cute that you cant tell that i'll make you stay.
My lips on your lips, my teeth bite your tongue, harder harder hurting hurting, copper ink spills through our kiss, and your tongue dripps so lonely from your cold purple lips.
You have my heart so i can take you apart until you give me yours.
Brush your hair with my fingers, dear you'll stay with me forever.
Your soft large thighs, so easy to cut, fingernails, fingernails, fingernails in the ruts. Pull the muscle, bone and flesh apart, make art my lovely canvas. Now i can taste what you really are, my beautiful work of art. we fill your legs with our wedding cake, oh baby aren't we so cute?
Can't run from me now, your mine and you love me but you don't say it enough so I bit off your tongue.
And Im Here smoking cigarettes yet still i want a kiss, burns at the back of your mouth.
Every strand of hair burns just like candle wick, your skin, it cracks moaning like a house full of poisen.
You only moan when I hurt you, but hey, it's sexyer this way aint it?

You are my conscience
Whispering the rules of life
But you poisen my head
No I wont listen

Anymore

You say you know whats best
But clearly you still have tribulations
Tiny daggers peircing my esophagus
Keeping me from telling the truth

Not anymore

Will I let you cover my mouth
Bound and gag my own words
I will let them drip out
The way they were meant to

Anymore

And I might stop breathing
Instead I hold onto dear thoughts
They keep me living
Through your pain
Your selfishness inflicting lies

Not Anymore

Will I let you control
My allies are mine
My whimpers were hushed by
The screaming of your lies

No not anymore

The night comes alive, the look in your eyes
like poison disguised as wine.

Fire runs through my veins
Like fools gold I'm memorized.

The sound of your voice slips down my throat,
your hands at the small of my back.

The room spins around again and again,
visions once light fade only to black.

Why do i feel,
This pain inside?
It won't go away,
Even after all the times i've cried.
This pain is overwhelming,
It makes me so condescending.
I can't think,
I can't see.
Is the blood i've shed,
A big red sea?
Why am i so dumb?
And worse, why am i so numb?
I feel this pain inside,
Because of all the times i've cried.
Yes i'm condescending,
But this pain is overwhelming.
Why am i so dumb?
Is it because i'm numb?
I've lost my way,
Now all i do is cry.
The only thing i want,
Is to know, "why?"
Sweet!
Hug me,
Squeeze me,
If you want to please me.
Okay, let's be honest,
Are you really that modest?
Kiss me,
Embrace me.
If want this love to be.
I can't stay with you,
You can't stay with me.
We love eachother so much,
The love we can't see.
It slowly devours us,
As it throws us on the hell bus.
So sad!!!
As i look in your eyes,
Sometimes i wonder why.
Sometimes i wonder so much,
It makes me want to cry.
My heart is so torn,
And you wonder why i'm forlorn?
As i kiss your cold face,
As you lose grip on our embrace,
I cry and fight,
And hold you ever so tight.
As they put you away,
I wonder why you couldn't stay.
I dream of you and think of you,
I feel you everyday.
Mostly i wonder why,
It had to be this way?
I sit in my room
You sit in your room
I kiss your face
As you hold the embrace
Now i know who you are
As you get out of my car
I cry in my sleep
As i start to weep

I know i'll never wake up
I bid you farewell
As i drank thy poisen
From thine cup
As i stare
I wonder
Does anyone care
When nobody cares?
I went suicide today
As you read this entry
I have to ask you
Is there anything more i can say?
Other than...
It's my private suicide

Would you end your life
If ment you could be with me
Would you slit your wrist
If it ment we could be free

Close your eyes and
Lie with me
as we drink our poisen
Take our last breath
As our souls are set free

For this is not the first time
This has happened to us
And it will not be the last time
For all things to be just

Close your eyes and
Lie with me
as we drink our poisen
Take our last breath
As our souls are set free

I looked for love inside your eyes.
What I saw almost made me blind.

I saw a stranger.
He was cold, distant, evil, and revolting.
I looked for love inside your eyes.

Who am I that you are unable to make love to me?
Why do I feel as if I am not here with you?
Do I matter?

I am just a toy in this filthy play.
Not a human worth of tender and devotion.
Where are you?
How did I lose you?

As the years pass by
The monster inside your eyes becomes clearer to me.

You think I am just over reacting.
How can I warm to eyes that are making hate to someone else instead of making love to me.

I've found where you are.
I've seen the pictures.
As graphic as can be.
I now know what i takes to turn you on.
Women....people like me.
Tortured, humiliated,used and hated.
All these images burned into your brain.

Did you ever imagine (at age 12)
The first time your seen a ****** photo.
That you were dooming every aspect of intimacy.
Breaking the heart of someone you'd love.

If it all stopped here.
I could bear it.
Instead you brought the evil in and continued to feed it.
As I looked for love inside your eyes.

Hands printed, hair pulled
Looking the age of thirteen years old.
A simple photo
A simple video
Controling reality, distorting the woman in exaggerated *******.
As I looked for love inside your eyes.

The evil eyes
Windows of a broken soul.
Warped by the lens into the background of your phone.

Souls never matter
Only bodies do
To those me. Who consume it (just like you)
A image burned inside your brain.
A image I see everytime I close my eyes.

When does it end?

I can tell you this.
It has not ended.
It has eaten you up.
It spreads like cancer.
Can you feed off of hatred and anger?
Can you break free and learn to love?

You say words.
Just full of excuses.
Feeding your soul on poisen.

If only you could see what I see.
If only you could feel what I feel.

**** has destroyed our relationship.
Tell me.
Was it worth it??

For years it's been my  defense my escape and my prison
all in one.
It's a drug I can and will never kick.
I wield it as a wepon sharper than any razor none
could ever hold.

But it's a love hate relationship twisted in it's
lack of perfection  harsh edges none can
understand but I.

But in it I find isolation in others happiness I find
none of my own and like any drug its high slowly drains you
yet no matter your best efforts to escape it your always
a ****** after that fix.

I've taken to the stage as easy as breathing
and found it simple to draw there laughter.
Happiness is a splendid vice i deal it often yet
In jokes we show are fears  are weakness is on display
for the mocking of others.

Why do I struggle with masks when my own face is but a stranger
to me?
From the stage im the fool by apearence yet I control
every thought  a craftsman  in laughter  my job
i understand better than any other.

Yet I yern to be more than a teller of jokes.
It's to easy at times not that I want to seem
like a ego mainac  but my job I know well.

Often we see the comedians but seldom do we see the misreble
******* behind the jokes.
Maybe were madmen lunatics in a asylum
so happily on display.

The laughter is the comfort and for a moment it heals.
You feel it like a drug it it flows through your veins.
You take people outta there misery if only for a second
and thats the reward there happines is but my gold in thought.

But any role can become a trap.
For no one cares to hear a fools thought.
So you drown in other vices make light of your ******* up past.

And with any  exceptance in life it changes you.
People treat you diffrent for they see the act not the person.
Soon you cant even see yourself anymore.

Relationships turn sour.
Welcome strangers  who thirst for fun replace friends
And the more you succeed the further away you become.

So you drown in ***** or dose in pills  
Share moments you can barely recall.
Hide behind dark glasse's talk to women who claim
to want a glimpse but you both are just junkies
yerning for that fix.

But to be close if only for a moment is a
bitter sweet  dream cast on a nightmares
wing.

But there's always someone who can see past your *******.
but no matter how strong the love the stage and the laughter
are a poisen few can survive.

For how can you love the man who lives a double life?
Who's loved by many and understood by few if
even himself.

Everytime I get up there it's a sacrfice a road ive choosen
with no set reward.
My love for one can never match the  love of many.

It's more than joke ,Im more than a comedian,
Yet im less off a person after the lights fade.
Nothing can match that fix of the stage.

Pain ,Isolation the loss of yourself  and everyone you ever
cared for  thoose my friends are the setbacks of humor.

Undearneath overcast skies i stand alone to see none that once stood here before.
Faces I'd come to know and respect now ghosts burried by some who never viewed us at all.
In laughter we find truths of understanding that still cuts deep from wounds shall we stop the bleed?

I read words whom I once new as friends comfort is a mistress ive never taken grasp of.
A stranger in full view but unlike others I refuse to take my place amoungsnt the dead you decived.
Cowards turn there heads.
I stare into rejection straight as a arrow burnt on route towards the sun.

******* is for thoose whom belive themselfs better.
A sunset holds that emotion I was called compassion now ice does embrace my regret.
It's always in there eyes you see.
A well ment *** kisser is but a snake in the garden always waitting for a chance to strike.
When I view what its become I see nothing more than barren fields of once rich earth.

Mocking tone's seldom bite harder than silent thoughts.
Maybe they'll speak of me in shadow what they cant bare to view in light.
The bottel's hold was a vice a friends turn but a dream cast over a nightmare's decline.
***** them if they cant speak there minds.

Anyone can back down to fools with soft words and even weaker minds.
I still taste the bitter words like sand from the storm.
The fool is many things but seldom your pawn.

Ive just come here to view the headstones of a ****** up past.

Maybe I'll fade but never to anothers mush mouthed glee my words a venom
no rattle snake dare to match.
There's no friends in war and this false disney land reeks of ***** and cotton candy.


I'll take my place when they bury me alive for not everyones spine is made of paper.
***** the cowards for least the dead tried!
Rage is my thirst and no longer will I let you walk over
this grave without a fight.

The happy image is but a poisen pen a ******* up reallity in a ******* game I refuse to play.
Mock me to my face for i could care less.
For the thoughts of a coward are but rat dropping left only to decay and be forgotten.

Least the tombstones mark thoose who forever gave voice to what  a politician can never grasp.
When i close my eyes finale at least I rest my thoughts knowing who I truely am.

After stage exist do i leave a true self behind?
As the act has taken hold of my existance I view only one out.
With the dust.
Will hidden message be reveled my madness never was there a more true
poisen to pen than vice thats nothing more than the man.


Cheap motel's road trips have taken there toll as ive taken more from thoose with which ive shared a
sin laced night.
Im fine I swear.
And  even togather I assure you im alone.

Start out slow just to burn out fast.
Empty the glass washed down pills and forgotten conversations
the jokes a cruel subject may I be your life's teacher?

Emptyness Inc. hollow my hall's least  it's better than some
self righteous fool who has been left to preach.

A cheap **** and a firm shake.
You cant run with wolves and stay the lamb.
Uppers to wake ***** to slow and coke to understand its somehow it's gotta end.

Im sorry next time i'll call only to show the sadist within.
Pray they cant view the sweats man he truely lives his act or is his addictions living as what
he once knew to be him?

Moments I breath only to sink underneath waters drowned are my demons
care to hear there thoughts clear?

A angry voice lives behind vice can i calm this storm how can I grant safe passage?
When I cant even stand in the slightest wind?
Another night and still they ignore it because they hate to comfront for fear they'd taste the razor of tongue and face vice's all there own.

Art in any form should never be safe.

Hello she answers waitting for the line within mind
she know's will probaly sooner than later be read.
I cant say something I can never feel.

Remorse is great for hero's.
Im happy to be your villan.

Another town it's always a old scene.
Were the ****** up circus come to fuel a always burning ego driven fire.
A hot night a devil's pornagraphic scene.

What the dust leaves no true care of a honest ******* I fear none but myself.

Nothing can describe the feeling that courses through my veins, through my head, through my stomach.
I cry and shake and puke over the fact that your body has been contaminated.
The foreign hands that layed everything on you is like poisen that I have swallowed.
Making me sick, making me shake.
My insides explode and I can't handle it.
As my clothes dampen with my tears and wish I could drown in them.
Sink deep to the bottom where there are no tears, no emotion, no pain.
I cry from the hurt, the disbelief, the betrayal.
And yet I do not hate you.

I beat myself up and drive myself crazy with the thoughts of the poisen on your lips and covering your body as you throw it upon yourself and yet I do not hate you.

The daily tears, insults and bad memories are not enough because I do not hate you.

I deserve better and yet you are all I want.

But I wish I hated you.

- the girl who you used to call yours

Im a caged animal befor my set.
Get to close and you'll understand why a starved animal is the most vicious
animal there is.
It's not a release its a war a battle to the death between me and all.
I care little for thoose who've stood befor this is a a fight between me and them and
I have no desire to be nice.

Safe never belongs in any form of art.
The eye's the window i see all to clear and as always i only focuss on one
for theres such a seduction in the moment there laughter a drug and  as she laughs above the noise that sense of wrong at such crude logic she bite's her lip and togather we connect.

Moments we share will only be now as like a fire's glimmer what burns bright will all to fade.
And my job is to make you never forget.
It's the romance of the stage the nights illusion that is my true poisen and i drink with no regard's of tommorow.

If you pick apart why you''ll never grasp the now.
I thirst for life and never give thought to death.
It's only the people who worry who sink to the bottom.
Drown in thought and you'll embrace reget as a empty lover .
I preffer much warmer company myself.

From the light I wish only to embrace the dark.
I see the eye's and always view the one pair.
thoose that linger in laughter that have forgotten all but me.
Like some vampire in a black in white film I draw them moth to my ever jaded flame.

I force the laughter in that awkward moment fill the silence and make the night something more than it truley is.


***** the velet of passion give the friction of summers hot backseat
Take the moment ***** the wait!
For to hold back is to fail and failure sure doesnt feel
good as a after partys release for two.

Of the chatter and drink orders  I take that which i desire.
Why live in  reget when you can bask in release.
Have you ever truely tasted the freedom ive known?

Be herd now for  tommorows a promise is often changed to well intended  lie.
Command the crowd or the ocean will swallow you up as a lamb.
Anger ,Rage ,Happiness , I dont care as long as i get a reaction.

For in this game i never play it safe.

In the eye's of other's I read the reactions like a higways map it always tells me where the edge will be.
And I yern not only to take you there I'll push you over it going right with you laughter mocks the crash
as we understand  its all just for the hell of it care to come with me?

Strippers, Drugs,******,Hookers,You want apple pie and pickett fences
you've taken a a fatal wrong turn.
I'll burn the devils *** and embrace the flame only to smile  and vanish just as the night befor.

I would rather get a slap across the face than a gentle pat on the back.
It's not just a act it's just who i am.

And when it's over you'll either love me or hate me.
But one thing is for ******* sure you will never forget me.
For behind all the *******  when others  remove the mask you'll learn.

It's just who I am.

Anyone can joke  but few can make you truely
question what just happend?

A storm from afar is perfect chaos but nothing can compare to
riding it out in the choas.

Safe is not a word I'll ever be.

As i run i know im not going
to give up without a fight
i come to a clif
and skid to a stop
i hear them not far
behind me, caressing my
name gently
theyre right behind me now
i turn around and look at the
two people
they stand, bows ready
i crouch and snarl
but they still dont falter
one of the men shoots
and the arrow hits my shoulder
i feel the smooth crimson
run down my right leg
i cry out but the blood
comes out still
the other man shoots, it hits my
left leg i feel the blood
from my previous wound become
matted and rough as it dries
the pain is searing through
my body like poisen
i snarl again and jump at the
closest man.

Hes too slow and i bend
down and chomp on his neck
i feel the sweet blood
explode in to my mouth
i crouch there for a second
then pounce onto the other man
i knock him over but
he slits my stomache open
i feel like throwing up
i cough a little bit of dark, wet
sickly red blood comes out.

I look back up at the man i snarl then run
this time I crouch close to the ground
i jump and crunch down on his soft head
his eyes popout, his brain taste so good<3
i call out to Life and she slowly
crawls out and goes to the other man
she rips open his chest and eats his
intestines first, then his heart
she savors the heart
after she licks the blood from the
ribcage clean and naws on the bones.
I see her take the head in her paws
and crunch down
i see the blood pour out
i laydown and look at the sinking
sun with my head on my paws. <3

How many times do you want me to say such poisen to the heart?
I love you, I love you, I love you. (528473)

I'll kiss  you,
a million times.

Just step from the cliff,
and take the gun from my heart.

And love me  to pieces.

That night we sat in a circle
And talked about the afterlife
What it is
And what it isn't.
That was the night
My godless world
Collided with your heavenly paradise.
Our words were lethel
But we were numb to the noise
We were too busy filling
Ourselves with Gods Poisen
To hear the angles scream
And our eyes became too heavy
To notice the Devils wicked grin
As he clipped the Angels wings.
That was the night we were alike
And you abandond everything
But you will deny.
Every Sunday morning
You will pretend to see God
And you will deny.
But the devil told me
He often thinks of that night
And laughs
Because the Angels still have trouble
Trying to fly.

Left in a truck with all the Windows shut. Stuck myself in a garage with the music up. Start the car and wait watching, dioxide is the dependency im depending on to keep me from pretending to be happy. Deep breaths in, feeling the poisen seeping in, cutting deep within the life ive lived without. It screams as its torn out.

Before i realized it
love came to an
end and sadness began
i did everything with you
so how am i supposed
to live without you
but this will be the
last time that i stretch
my fragile hands towards you
for I've shed so many tears
and all you did was sat and stare
but i still have to thank you
for your time here with me
for i never knew what love was
until i found you but with
your love i also learned
what sadness was
for your love was a painful poison
that seeped within my heart
and ate away all the happiness
it could find

Fourteen years is what it took,
To find out why this is how I look.
Compared to mom, dad, nana and pops,
Why all my cousins act as if I deserve mops.
An outcast of the family most of my life,
To only find comfort in my knife.
Silver blades and scars that stay,
Almost took my life away.
****** people and a mean mind
make me wonder if it's my time.
To stand up or sit back,
To save myself or fade away.
Fourteen years is what it took
To take a look
And see you are the poisen in me.

I am a slow learner,
For only now i know you are poisen
not the cure,
But its to late isn't it.

I drink your cup of poisen every day,
In the hope that one day I will survive
A full dose of your toxicity