last night rain magic

          (such magic)

you visited again
so freshly and so
cleanly you caked
each hour i laid

        (unstirring)

with your music
your voice and
song that gent'lest
and constant pitterpatter
                                                    ­
                                             pitterpatter


           pitterpatter
          


                                       ­                                                     pitterpatter­




                              pitterpatter







          ­                                                                 ­                                             pi
                 ­                                                                 ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­                     t
                                          ­                                                                 ­          t
                                                               ­                                                               er­p
                                  

                                                               ­                                                         a
      ­                        
                                                                ­                                                                 ­ tt
        
                                                    ­                                                        e
  

                                                      ­                                                                    r

Have you ever
been told to do one simple thing
but that one simple thing
cannot be done by you?

Have you ever
felt so useless and helpless
because you are unable
to do the one thing you are supposed to do?

Have you ever
been told you will never hear
the pitterpatter of a toddler's feet
running across your floor again?

Have you ever
wanted the one thing you will never have
so badly it keeps you
awake at night?

Me too.

When I hit the ground on my hands and knees,
And my shock turned to pain turned to tears turned to pleas,
And the beat in my chest turned to stutters and seized,
They all said, you deserve better.
I said, "Please."

When I lay there all ******, killed by my own hand
And all of my dreams had dissolved into sand
And I had no wishes, no wants, no yearnings or demands,
They all said, you deserve better.
And I said, "And?"

When I struggled up to my knees, every day another blow,
When I learned that the tears and the blood, they both flow
Much the same when you've nowhere you're fixing to go,
They all said, you deserve better.
And I said, "I know."

When I stood once again riddled hollow with air,
And I tested my pulse but there was nothing there,
And everyone noticed my vacant cold stare,
They said, you deserve better.
I said, "I don't care."

When I met her again and my trussed thoughts were scattered,
And my heartbeat was tripping its new-old pitterpatter,
And my soul was alight once again, if now tattered,
She said, you deserve better.
I said, "Doesn't matter."

They all try to tell me that I'll end up fractured,
That I shouldn't love somebody like her,
That things just can't be the way that they were,
They say, you deserve better.
I say, "I'm sure."
And I think,
*I don't want better. I just want her.

She was walking with her summer tank top
     sailor blue stripes, dark  brown hair swaying
       same as her hips.

White purse on her shoulder, sound flowing
   to her ears, shaded warm sidewalk, solid
        beneath her feet.

She moved to the beat.

That is when he saw her, he knew what
  he wanted to do, no, had to do,
quickly left his guy friends' side.

Running quickening his stride,
crew cropped head bent low and picked
   out
a
   single  flower
     from the thorny ground cover.

Wild eh?

He wasn't done.
He spun.
Three long strides.
He was there.
Tattooed arm reaching,
out with care,
Gave her the flower
bloom and her heart
went boom. (pitterpatter)

Words stopped in her throat.
His mouth moved,
she is still not sure,
what he said,
before he ran again
to be with his guy friend.

Of course she turned and looked,
she was young and he was older,
his kindness made her bolder,
than she was ever, ever before,
she kept walking and looked once
more.

With a toss of that dark brown hair,
she made a place for the flower there.

The trees must have got in the way
                         as I am unable to say
if their eyes met only once or more,
    lesson learned
people make up this heartless city
   I adore.

Just another view
from the second floor.


©DWE082013

Soft, loud, loud.


What am I?
Not music, just the lines on a page. Yet depicting the pitterpatter of moonlight, music, lines, dreaming, all the same.
Soft loud soft
Gently in little strokes a delicate face emerges
         Loud loud
The night sings through my hand, darkening until no line is left unshaded, no place left
              unworked.

in and out
in and out
out and in

my little breaths
              are of a different sort.

the pitterpatter of my heartdrum beats against my eardrum:
i sit in silence and do not know what to think.

salt water flows out from my eyes

oh when did i get this ocean inside of me?