TW: r#pe culture

anxiety-riddled,
my head is a constant battle of sounds
and feelings crashing
like waves into each other;
interference scares me.
as does being out of rhythm,
missing too many beats — i am
conflict-averse but i am also
realistic:

i know that
sound travels faster
through solids and liquids
than through the air,
can be distorted
and interfered
into oblivion—
that when
push comes to shove,
whisper networks
can only reach so far.

scores of screaming matches
between metoo advocates and r#pist apologists
crescendos of nails
scraped across a board
feel a bit too familiar
like listening to white noise and broken records on repeat
while scrolling through toiletpaperworthy nonapologies
witnessing victims collectively crying in an orchestra of agony
and then be blamed for attention-seeking at best,
of causing their own suffering at worst.

although it pains me to listen to these tragic tunes,
it is amusing how so many mishear this collective choir as
survivors celebrating with silly receipts in cancel parties
serving blistering hot tea sweetened by revenge - no

all this is anything but
cathartic.

it’s to make people aware
that the same melodies are sung or screamed
  by those who suffered similar pains
and so that those of a similar frequency know
there are those who listen
that their voice matters
and we are not alone.

- 20210315

*******
****** of
****** o
******
Pisse
****
Pis
Pi
P
Pi
Pis
Pist
Pisto
Pistol
T
To
A
T
Ta­
Tar
Targ
Targe
Target

What a gift
It's the 5th
Broke as ****
Stressing pist
Downed a fith
some that whisk
Im not the one to wish
I just wanna feel alive
feel inside the will to wanna live
I stuff my emotions
Chewing chocolate like a pig
Ew the skin im in is sin
Rituals potions no friends
Wait theese people seem safe
I think i need to think again
Is she really my valerie
Lust is sinking in
Heavy breathing
We both screaming
Steamin out our skin
Why do you say that you will stay
And promise me which you dont
need
See You Then Walk Away
See with you i feel so safe
So Secure please come here
Its getting late
My arms are a gate
To a place where
My love just can not wait
My focus is ive chosen you
Will you throw that a way
Im always there no matter what
My guts like she gone walk away
And every time im oblivious
Women are so influenced
Permisqious
Timidish
Suggestion here simple chicks
Dont exist
Perpare for paper cuts
And broken wrist
****** razors
Roses in fist
I know they notice
Me in the midst
They stare like they care
But wait ill share
They just look suffocated
I feel hated its not fair
I need a girl whos intentions
Arent to cheat
Sweet someone who deeply cares
Yea truly cares about me
See it aint all about me
I just hate being alone
Everytime i start to sink
I suffocate so deep
Everytime i think to think
My bones shiver they sure shrink
Reapers under me
My sneakers really stink
Im into dark poetry
And ****** sheets
We touchin
Clutchin
Kissin ******
Like we beast
Huggin like were stranded in the sea
So much water under neath
Lets create a son or daughter
Please just breathe
We can take it slow
Just moan what it is you need
And most pull me close
And whisper by my cheeck
Make me feel alive
Im your passion filled freak
And ima slide deep
If you cant take it all
Lets take a chance
Out come we gone see
When we finised
You dont have to leave
We can order chinnese
While we wait eat strawberry
Chocolate cream
Girl you wont ever see my mean
Theres a fine line
In treating you like a queen
And our souls are perfectly alighned
Aint gone lie never intended for rings
I guess its cos your the only girl
In my life that makes me wanna sing
Shout baby scream
Its just us
Passion filled hug
Rain lighting
Darkest storm ever
Lady im immortal
This can last for ever
If you do whatchu need
Crave we never cheat
Try to not feel shy to eat in front of me
And let me treat you like you deserve
Rescues here to sweep you off your feet
I love you so deeply
If your intentions are
Like mine focused
Complete
Xoxo
Black rose velvet sheets
*** songs playing
Saying you a freak
You speak a good story
Lets Practice what you preach
One second got protection
You can practice all on me
If you loose your mind
Ima help you find it in theese sheets
No limits ima hit it till your finsihed
My image is the least
Lust demon passion be
Whatchu crave daily
But dont speak
The love your soul needs
Promise That Youll stay
I love you Valerie

There is anger in these thoughts teens r treated like kids but expected to act like adults ***** its not my fault this is ******* having me cleaning up like im a maid's kit but its the same punishment my 18 year old brother gets so am i 18 is all tht maturity supposed to hit i guess since im letting my anger out here and not in a fit cleaning the bathroom washing the floor i hope thts cps knocking on the door you dont trust me on the streets but expect me to hear my alarm when im sleep putting my education at risk all my teachers r goin to be pist but i hve to get bck to being cinderella and cleaning this **** i first thought it was a joke but im not taking the risk

High hopes on high ropes
Swinging dreams back
pushing forth, life is d•o•p•e
come full swing, me and you
Tip toeing the pebbles
ever so carefully in rain dew
Sometimes on my tip toes
I feel someone a seether
Only in my breath knows
I treaded not for very long
But as harsh to please
To comfort, with ol song
On my fingers touch my lips
The tire of replicated movement
Made God and the devil pist
Tomorrow, crossed out my name
The merry-go-round that spin
The fire in my skin is pain
all the people know her name
Back and forth I rock my chair
thinking and going, stoping,
And time is not ticking
time is looking for rest, dropping
killing every move my toes make
Unchaste paragon I make rebel of,
and off they will go... my orgen
To a valkyrie's back who will slane
the shame of me..

~I am still hanging on. I love you mom.

© S.T. Rebel of Eden

Nic wack
patty  fat
Give a dog a bone.
Forget that
Six flat
I'm getting in the zone
Coming off the dome
To elevate my holmes
I'm flipping different styles
an breaken colla' bones
Freestlying for a while
Then killing microphones
reading palms then writing poems
Stay preying for my foes
The more they hate me,
the more I these brughs
these haters forgotten woes
Makes them hate me even moes
they thought my star dumb
But I shine bright
jaws dropping through the floors
And breaking done doors
Playing my cards like a maverick
I'm wild slick like an Olympic
pushing sic whips, taking picks
with my dogs
Like l'm boy filthy rich
went from a chip on my shoulder
To flipping chips at the Ritz
eating liver and fish with
Chip and dip with one of the Celtics
who's selling tic-kets to see the old
Knicks turning tricks  
over at 5th
off of 6th
by Saint and Patrick's
Instead
I'm tipping bartenders
When I flip it with the tip
**** like I'm a **** kid
I blow their mind when I say something
wicked like
"Time is money"
but give me a look
with no more specifics
Then I take another sip
then walk off all prolific
then look in the air
My hands flair like I ....
see something futuristic
then look at you like...
I could you miss it.
I know what you are thinking
and I am so pist...
This is bullclip
I meant
full clip
I won't bite my tongue
but just bite my lip thinking of inking
Something linking in link inn
with link king linked in link with ink linking king with lincoln
linking the link king
With lincoln against a kingpin
and that kingpin was me,
u pinned him got the quick won
Then took a knee
As he hand it down to me.
with me. All linked into the same thing

"Don't Plan for your future,
and you could end up like this."
Then take another sip and then I dip
All ripped off some old English breathe that smelt like he been punched in the mouth by a fist full of ****, then bit, then swallowed the ****. Then didn't brush since 1986, he could a deadly virus if it took a swift. Got on my motor bike, and slide off like a brit, a villian, and I'm swift. My lines tailored quick, step out of line, the bottom line, is flat line then a ditch. Get a bottom *****, and breed her with my pit, then cruise and take a pic, ***** clues we label it, now enough with the funny **** now let's spit something sick

Early Morning Thought's Haunt Agian,
How Are You Feeling,
1-10
A Little Bit Sick,
****,
There's No Medicine,
Nor Cure,
Fears Lethal,
Injecting Placebo Needles,
In Inncoent People,
All Authority & Other Men,
I Thought We Were Equal,
Trust Is An Illusion,
Goverment Loves Evil,
They Real Bad With The Flag,
Grabbin That Egeal,
Enough Is What I've Had,
Were Not Trash,
Stop Back Stabbin The People,
Honestly We Don't Wanna Be,
Mondern Way Slaves
Souls Precious So Smegal,,
These Days Display Slaughtering Sequals,
Sippin From The Tip Of The Last Cup,
Where Did My Tea Go,
Won't Mask Up,
No Disquise ,
Meet My Eyes,
When It's Time To Fly,
Remember The Stare ,
Tremmbling Glare,
Intriging Guy,
Are You Feeling Okay,
No, I Thought So,
Let Me Know , Why,
Were Similar A Alike,
We Wanna Feel Okay,
Secure , Safe,
Make It Threw The Night,
I've Been In The Dark So Long
House Lights Aint Bright,
Dim From The Grim,
Face Shakes ,
Hey My Chin,
Skin Ripping Like My Shins In Condition ,
Cold Winds,
Myster Told,
I've Been Alone , Aching Bones,
Blistering Blizzard Snow,
Lets Take A Flight Tonight To Rome,
After My Show,
Just To Show Our Pretty Eyes,
What's Possible,
Plottin On Forgottin Fuel,
Ew Obsticales, Lot's Of Those,
The Way I Spit Real ****,
Gets Me Lots of Hoes,
I Don't Attend To Their Hunger Needs,
They Don't Give Affection,
They Beg For Things,
I'm Making Cheese,
My Own Kind,
Spazzing All The Time,
Cracked My Spine,
If Acid In Your Back Is A Myth,
Then Why When It Pops,
I'm Lost High As ****,
3rd Eye Pirate Fist,
Twitch Iron Fish,
My Life Is Twister In Winter Midst,
Tree's That Breathe Release Of Sin,
Chosen One 3rd Son,
13 Candles Lit,
Black Robes,
Back Rodes,
Phantom Sits,
That Rope,
666 Notes,
333 Oaths,
A Cat, Candle Black,
Blood Bath & A Ghost,
Letter Inside A Sweater ,
Mr. Cap Crow,
Train Tracks Split,
Deep ****,
Holding On To This
All I Hear Is Hiss,
I Wanna Get Lost In Zen ,
But Cant Sit For 10 Mins,
HyperAware,
Sniperlike Stare,
No Money , You Hungry , No Problem
I'll Share,
Don't Sleep In The Street,
Heres A Bed With Clean Sheets,
You Can Lay There
I'm Hurt So I Care,
Home Is Somethin I Don't Know,
Where,
Majority Of My Life,
Especially At Night,
I Am There,
Feeling Satan Sensations,
Shaking ,
Hard To Bear,
Empty All Alone,
I Am Scared
Becoming Stone,
All Knowing Tones ,
Ringing Like A Phone,
Intuion Avatar,
Answers In My Bones,
Today I Crawled Out Of My Bed,
Listening To All My Guilt,
That Built Stuilts InSide My Head,
Tought Walking Tall,
I'm Walking Small,
Don't Wanna Walk Again,
Need To Hurry Put This Gun Down,
And Throw These Blades Out,
Hey Now Hold On ,
Somebodys Walking In,
I Hung A Sign Please Knock,
Humans Forgot What They Meant,
I've Been Actiavting With Hatred I Hate It,
I Save And I Cave In,
Immortal Pact,
Time Cant Earase It,
Steady With The Pen,
I Bleed For A Hug My Mother,
uggh I Cant Take It,
I Swallow My Spit, Stand Up , Sit Try To Shake It,
Little Me, Literally Be Sizziling Like Some Backon,
Real Skills Have Taken,
Channelin Awaken,
Time Don't Exist,
Scars On My Wrist Inscist It's Mine For The Taking,
I Spread My Shreaded Wings,
And Reach For A Mystery,
Question For My Creator
List Of Things,
Are You Missing Me Like I Miss My Mom,
Grandma My Life Is Missing Things,
I Need You Both To Hold Me Close,
I Love You, Uggh I Know Yall Know,
Our History Is Pain & Mold,
I'm At Fault
Wont Let It Go,
Forgive My Self,
That's A No,
You Stayed And Prayed ,
Amazed You Both Didn't Let Me Go,
My Mother And Grandma Are Real Angels,
Incredible,
Stings When I Feel The Rush,
Cant Go Back In Time To Redo Things,
I ****** It Up,
Compromising
Darkness Rising,
I Got Real Tales,
That Can Make You Shiver,
Buckle Up, Grab Your Liver,
Hair Sliver,
What I Got Is By The River,
What I Feel And Felt,
Cannot BeA Erased,
I'm A Ghost Living In A Humans Race,
Passing Threw With A Very Netrual Face,
I Don't Wanna Be Alone,
Girl Stay,
Not So I Can Feel Your Love,
Just So You Can Feel The Space,
A Terrifying Void,
I Cant Avoid,
Been Dealing With My Demons,
Since Cleanin My Toys,
Young As Hell Just A Boy,
Everday I'm Ageging Decaying Making Noise,
In The Mirror Trancing Threw My Flesh Feautures,
How Come Death Becomes Our Best Teachers,
Yall Got Friends And ***,
Hot Shots And Bleachers,
I  Got Ghost Rabbies ,
Mold ,
Cold And Reapers ,
Distrught Fist Got Heaters,
I've Pist Off Preachers,
Aliance Giant ,
Invisible Creatures,
Thoughts Prjoecting Vibes,
That Change The Out Side,
Brain Changes With In Single Minute 100 Times,
I'm In It Till Finish,
Then I Diminish ,
My Physical Immage,
4th Dimenision,
Duality
Miracles, Fatailty
Pay Attention,
Darkest Night,
Lightest Day,
Balanced Out Talent Ouch, Legend Ways,
I Cant Be Saved,
I Recieved A Letter From Amaru  ,A Congradulate,
Your Still Going This Long ,
Have Yet To Suffocate,
It Takes Strong One To Reach This Date,
Espically When Your Hungry ,
And Ran Out Of Plates,
Or Food And Passion Fruit,
And Truth To Face,
Thoughts Rain All Day,
When The Sun Turns Black ,
Ill Be Back , To Have Your Back,
Mom, Grandma You Are Heaven,
It's 11 Tip My Hat,
You Gave Me Something Long Enough,
I'm Not Strong Enough To Give It Back, Rough,
Hard To Fathom Or Get That,
I Understand, I Stand Under Where Ever You Sit At,
Ima Demon With Demons,
No Sick Act,
****** Rose,
Thick Pact,
Living Like I'm Blind,
My Mind Likes Living In The Past,
Not Me Though,
Ya See Yo,
I'm Encyrpted Scripted With Evol,
Love From Me Is Urgently,
I Love To Strong For Way To Long,
Emergency ,
Oblibvous Pyro,
I'm Burning Things,
Savage With That Black Magik,
Turing Rings,
Listen To That Sermin Sing,
Not Again,
Heaven Will Not Let Him In,
I've Completely Burned My Wings
Pople Who Are Close To Me Are Pure Loving And Searching Dreams,
I'm The Monster Hurting Non Deservingly,
Purgtory Orders Me,
Accordingly,
Never Ending,
Hell Bending
Immortal Surgery,
I Turn To The Leak In Me,
That Gold Freuquency,
That Tried To Speak & Teach Me Things,
I Went Off On My Own Path,
Made My Own Relgion My Own Craft,
Consuquences Exist I Admit ,
I Own That,
I've Tooken,
This Farther Than A Drone Can,
Spirtual Teachers Cant Believe Thier Eyes
I'm Living Proof
I am Who Is Due To Die,
I See With With Middle Perception,
Human Eyes Do Lie,
I Hold Ages Of Prophecy,
Which Obviously Takes A Life Time,
Really Listen, Peep My Tight rymes,
Cause The Right Line You Can Realte To,
Perhaps Could Save You,
Ive Made You A Life Line,

I looked at the cat,
The cat look back,
As I wondered what happened to him today.

To my surprise he spoke
My soul did woke,
And I pist my pants out of fright.

The cat did laugh
As it called me an ***,
And my fear did wither away.

But the cat stopped,
To remember his thought,
And to my attention it brought.

A fine line of interest.
Again the cat began to talk,
As he was startled while he walked.

The cat said:

I saw a pink window,
And through it a widow,
That looked like a witch in disguise.

She sat on a chair,
And to my despair,
She winked one of her eyes.

I thought she wanted me,
But she beseeched me,
To eat some of her pie.

Then she raised a bowl of milk,
With a silvery smooth silk
Clothe in her hand that, she waved at me with pride.

I did jump,
As my mouth agreed yum,
Through that pink window.

The widow did turn,
Into the witch I’d seen first
My eyes then tear and burst.

I twitched my body
To turn around,
Then I heard no sound.

But when I made the full 180
That made me look pity,
There she was on the ground.

She laughed at me my face turned blue,
As I stared at her,
From the other side of the pink window.

She said look at your face,
What a big disgrace,
When I noticed my whiskers were gone.

Now you my owner,
Didn’t notice a thing,
Except that I spoke in your sight.

Now that you look like me pretty as can be,
I laughed at the whiskers on your face,
That uplifted my sight.

©

Don't worry ‘bout me: I have a nice panga,
A pretty assegai, a Chukchi yaranga,
And I can start fire with some thin tiny twigs
By touching them a bit with my fishnet stockings.

In the Atlas I tamed the last of the lions;
In the Ngorongoro cheetahs feared my irons;
In the Rocky Mountains I made all grizzlies pant;
And in Tamil Nadu tigers purred in my hand.

‘Cuz for kisses, it’s true: I do never resist,
And every man I like, I track him on the pist,
I find him and ******, and finally kiss him.

As for peeled vultures though, hillbilly noisy dogs,
******* or green mambas, stinky naughty warthogs:
I do always cook them but never embrace them...

Read by Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth :
Please note: In the link address, the word "UNDERSCORE" (2x) has to be replaced by the typographic sign of the underscore (Alt+095).

https://www.cjoint.com/doc/18UNDERSCORE05/HEzhgrx8p4AUNDERSCOREIn-love-in-the.mp3

Do you feel depressed and all alone?
Passing depressing thoughts by getting ******.
Listening to your parents because they know whats best.
Going to school and the bully pokes at your chest.
Coming home every other day with black and blue eyes.
You keep your self locked away and everyone wonders why.
Does it seem like everyone so smiley and happy?
Do you wonder why you can't be?
Don't you hate when it seems like you don't exist?
Still keeping to yourself filling with rage getting pist?
Wondering how you could get back at them.
As you remove your *** from its last stem.
Getting closer to those feelings of suicide.
Everyone asks and still the feelings you hide.
Filled in a world with sad and stupid regrets.
Thinking of all the ******* taunts and threats.
And when people push you to listen and talk.
Thinking empty thoughts on that cold lonely walk.
But the control over them is on your side.
It's up to you if your ready for your suicide.

...but feel free to pelt me with rotten eggs.



(sonnet #MMMMMMMDCCCXXX)


It's been an awful week for all I'd thence
Tried extra hard to be mair wise.  In pale
Excuse I make mistakes each day and fail
At evrything.  To play the ther'pist hence
And make myself recite in sheer defense
The bald facts I threw out, ignored to scale,
Nor but let folly triumph oer, t'avail
Me, did no good it seems, "wise" was pretense.
He never cared that I exist, I'm sure,
Though I could prove he did and does still too.
Twas all a lie he liked me, but in poor
'Scuse my heart swears he did.  I know's not true.
So I trip oer my feet, distracted fer
No reason, cuz I "like" whom 'gain?...quite blue.

30Mar19b

"All this have I proved by wisdom: I said, I will be wise; but it was far from me." (Ecc 7:23)

Weet ge niet wat gij mist
wanneer ge naast het potje pist?
Het doel, de roos, het mikpunt
van de spots. Al goed,  't kon erger,
't is bijvoorbeeld al geen kots.

Wie schiet moet zelf z'n pijlen rapen,
wie niet kan vliegen moet geen vliegtuig kapen.
Wie niet kan zien moet mij niet leiden,
toch wie niet kan lachen moet mij verblijden.

Het is een tegenvaller, gesteld gedrag,
een tegenstrijdigheid
als iemand begroeten met dag.

i hope you rot in hell
i hope your corpse decays while you still occupy it
i hope you sit in a cell
counting the days
like i did while with you
you kept me a prisoner
you hurt me time and time again
you made me hate myself
but now i hate you
i hate you more than i hate my r*pist
because he destroyed me one night
but with you
it was every night for nine months

Leden, maten, zware zakken,
rollende ballen, dikke hakken,
tomatenplukkers, houtpakkers
en in-koeten-kakkers.

Ik moet jullie wat vertellen.
En terwijl mijn voeten schuiven,
doe ik het uit de doeken.

Ik zeg ik verdien wat ik krijg,
in plaats van andersom.

Wat heeft dat te betekenen?

Dat ik het vaak genoeg
zelf niet weet.

Waarom dan die fanfare?

Dat kan ik zelf niet verklaren.
Soms moeten het woord het voetenwerk doen.
En dan sta ik mijn mond vol tanden,
het haar in de handen
en het zand aan de lippen.

Man, dit gedicht, gooi het van de klippen.
Kunnen we deze gozer, aub, even skippen.
Wat een zeikstraal, wat een knul,
hij pist vast doorschijnend water,
zo flauw is zijn fletse kul.

Die valt niet meer op te knappen.
Dan maar naar de uiltjes.