"pickup" poems
I'm a photographer, and I can't picture you and I together.
If I were a stop light, I'd turn green everytime you passed by, just so I don't have to see you any longer.
I thought happiness started with an HAPPI. Why does mine start with NOT U?
Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I run and hide.
Do you have a map? I need to figure out a way to get the hell away from you.
Do you live in a corn field, cause I'm just gonna harvest you and sell you to someone else.
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got Violation written all over you.
You look cold. Good. Freeze to death.
Can I have directions? [To where?] To get the hell away from you.
I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated enough to tolerate talking to you.
I was so disgusted by your face that I ran into that wall over there. But thank god I don't have insurance, so don't bother telling me your name and number.
Is there an airport nearby, cause I'm gotta get on the next flight to Antarctica and get the hell away from you.
You look so familiar… didn't we take a class together? I could've sworn we had physical education, where I was educated how to physically hurt you.
If you are a steak, I'd say you are too meaty.
Can I have a picture of you? So I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, they've started bleeding at the sight of you.
Dec 6, 2014
Dec 6, 2014 at 3:54 PM UTC
"But what if we're wrong?"
It was silent
But her thoughts echoed around in my head as we laid on top of her pickup truck
I swatted at the eighteenth mosquito chewing on my leg
I don't want this to be love
We were tangled up in the acoustic music they play on the radio on Sunday mornings
She was trying to dream up something clever to write about
And I was pretending I could learn to play guitar through osmosis,
As if blending myself in with the harmonies, finding her in every lyric, and sheer willpower would give me wings or at least magic guitar hands
She set the alarm, checked it over and over
She was not going to be late for her first day
I told her I'd be asleep when she got home, she told me she knew
I told her to wake me up
I wasn't looking for perfect
Perfect really only applies in first year physics courses
After that, we learn to fall in love with "rough around the edges" or "unique" or "unfinished"
As if their life is a puzzle that we need to complete
Just so you know, it isn't
She bought me breakfast and dropped me off
She used to tell me she loved me, but I know she didn't
She does now, so she doesn't have to say it anymore
When I said, "love," before, I didn't really mean it
Not like I mean loving the garden on the balcony of her apartment or thunderstorms in May
Even if I was a puzzle that she completed (and I'm not saying that I am), we didn't need any glue to fit perfectly
May 27, 2018
May 27, 2018 at 9:17 PM UTC
It's the boys with the sweetest words, the cheesiest pickup lines, and the cutest shows of affection who will win me over.
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 30, 2014 at 4:12 PM UTC
I love the way you laugh.
It sounds like a dog throwing up.
I want to run my hands through your hair.
I bet it's as soft as a chinchilla's fur.
I love your height.
How it makes you look like you're the genetic product of Nick Jonas and a giraffe.
I love your eyes.
You're so full of **** that even your eyes are brown.
Jan 26, 2015
Jan 26, 2015 at 2:00 PM UTC
I always worry that my distaste for dressing up in a costume,
with a smurk and a line,
has lead me to missing out.
Fall2010
Feb 3, 2013
Feb 3, 2013 at 3:24 PM UTC
I'm a photographer, and I can totally picture you and I together.
If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.
I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?
Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.
Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes.
Do you live in a corn field, cause I'm stalking you. (so creepy lol)
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you.
You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart.
I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by YOU.
I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I'm going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
You look so familiar… didn't we take a class together? I could've sworn we had chemistry.
If you are a steak, I'd say you are well done.
Can I have a picture of you? So I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.
There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can’t seem to take them off of you.
Dec 6, 2014
Dec 6, 2014 at 3:40 PM UTC
It burns so much to think that his hands touched another girls' the way they touched me
I waited for him and he took advantage of me never being able to say no
and I couldn't smell the cinnamon whiskey on his breath because I was already drowning in it
but he could never touch me unless he threw a few back
Nov 11, 2015
Nov 11, 2015 at 10:22 PM UTC
A long, long time ago, I can still remember when,
Junk food made me smile,
And I knew if had my chance,
That I could make my fatness dance,
And maybe I was happy for a while.
But McDonald's made me shiver,
With every burger they'd deliver,
Bad news on their doorstep,
I couldn't take one more step.
I can't remember if I cried,
When I passed size twenty-five,
But something touched me deep inside,
The day I knocked back obesity fries,
CHORUS.
So, bye, bye McDonald's French fries,
Drove my chevy away from McDonald's,
didn't have a bevy,
I said goodbye to whiskey and rye,
Singing no more apple pies,
That's the end of obesity fries.....
Did you go to McDonald's biomes?
Did you know you're changing your genomes?
Eating all those pesticides?
Now do believe they love you, guys?
Might as well eat dead flies!
And can you change evolution in real time?
Well, I know you're addicted to them,
You'll need more than treadmills in the gym,
Now can't even put on your shoes,
Man, you'll dig the obesity blues,
CHORUS.
I was an obese teenage bronco buck.
Driving to McDonald's in a pickup truck,
But I knew I was out of luck,
The day I ate landfill in those French fries...
I started singing bye, bye obesity fries,
Drove my chevy, had no bevies,
And the burgers were dry,
This is the day I knock back French fries.
CHORUS.
I met a girl who sang the blues,
She'd passed turning size twenty-two,
I asked her if she ate junk food too,
She just smiled and drove away,
I drove down to the store no more,
Where I ate additives years before,
But the junk food store didn't care anyway...
CHORUS
CHORUS....
Nov 27, 2015
Nov 27, 2015 at 4:56 PM UTC
De-winged and flightless
is the dragonfly
that tried to slip by
in my slipstream,
It found instead the pickup
traversing the alleyways
of my convoluted imagination.
I don’t know why I’m driving,
ever driving someplace
unrealized and unexplored.
I feel so disconnected,
I feel so disrespected by the world
sometimes
But that’s not fair
it has been good to me.
I feel so disconnected
sometimes
and yet it comes in times
when I’m most consumed
most surrounded.
Maybe I’m just tired
and the walls around me quiver only
from the struggles of my waking eyes,
Maybe I’m just bitter
that I can’t have the perfect life
and feel as if nothing could be better,
Maybe I’m affected
by this liquid life I’m draining from my cup
in hopes of finding a different day
at the bottom.
Is it jealousy that lingers in my mind
or mere longing tinged with a heavy
dose of confusion?
I am confused.
And yet I’m still alive
unlike my dragonfly
and so I stumble onward.
-BRD
Nov 22, 2010
Nov 22, 2010 at 4:03 PM UTC
Well I drive the speed limit,
When I'm on the blacktop,
Because ya ain't gonna know,
If yer gettin eyeballed by the cops.
When I see the gravel,
Comin' up around the bend,
I turn the corner, hit the gas,
And my tires start to spin.
I get my get 'em up stuck,
In my pickup truck.
The gravel gets my guages,
goin' up, up, up.
In my pickup truck,
Ain't no slowin' me down.
I love my pickup truck,
Kickin' up dust clouds.
If it's rainin', you're complainin',
About the mud and the muck,
But ya know that I'll be playin,
In my pickup truck.
I get my get 'em up stuck,
In my pickup truck.
The mud gets my guages,
goin' up, up, up.
In my pickup truck,
Ain't no slowin' me down.
I love my pickup truck,
Throwin mud around.
When your rollin' around,
On the ice and in the snow
Sittin' in the ditch,
your car don't wanna go.
Who's the one ya call,
To get ya unstuck,
Ring-a-ding-a-ling-a-ling,
Ya need my pickup truck.
I get my get 'em up stuck,
In my pickup truck.
The winter gets my guages,
goin' up, up, up.
In my pickup truck,
Ain't no slowin' me down.
I love my pickup truck,
Haulin' people 'round,
Time to move is here,
And I back up to your door.
Packing out your things,
Until my truck can't fit no more.
I get my get 'em up stuck,
In my pickup truck.
Helpin' friends gets my guages,
goin' up, up, up.
In my pickup truck,
Ain't no slowin' me down.
I love my pickup truck,
Helpin' friends movin' 'cross town
I can't get enough,
Of my pickup truck.
If I had to do without it,
then my life would ****
Ya know my life would ****
Without my pickup truck.
I would feel like half a man,
Without my pickup truck.
Oct 24, 2010
Oct 24, 2010 at 4:55 PM UTC
Love is a ***** soup going stale but steaming like it's brand new;
And I'm Oliver twist walking up to the *** with a rusty spoon full of desire and hope asking for more but getting none.
Love is a Doctor gathering dead bodies and shackling them up in chains;
And I'm a green freak with Frankenstein bolts ****** through my head walking around with only a mumble to muster trying to love people who just want to run away.
Love is a white paper rolled so finely, full of sedatives and drugs;
And I'm sitting by a fire reaching in for a log to smoke.
Love is puzzle made by Einstein and Sam Loyd;
And I'm a child with eyes made of glass and hands made of thorns crying to my mother because that puzzle is a *****
Love is Navy Seal training on a beach covered in cold water spilling blood for a chance;
And I'm a pot-smoking hippie who holds up signs and tells soldiers they’re monsters as I take a puff of death.
Love is a ten-syllable word compacted into one;
And I'm a hooked on phonics children’s thesaurus struggling to find a comparison that I can actually pronounce.
Love is a white egg timer sitting on the fridge set to all nines;
And I'm a busy housewife waiting to cook dinner at the sound of its bell.
Love is a robber with a 45 in his belt;
And I'm an eager dad trying to protect his family with a wooden stick.
Love is hot coffee from a luxury beverage shop;
And I'm a plastic party cup melting away.
Love is a doctor with a PHD in heart surgery;
And I'm a sick child waiting with his mother with no healthcare ******* on a free doctor’s-office lollypop.
Love is a huge pink eraser;
And I'm a graphite pencil struggling to write while me and the eraser fight.
Love is a pickup truck speeding through town drunk;
And I'm a lost puppy running through the same intersection looking for my owner.
Love is meant for fish;
And I'm a bird.
Dec 21, 2012
Dec 21, 2012 at 12:18 PM UTC
My parents gave me a pink childhood framed with lace and luxury--
but a black stain has spread there, deep as the amount of time
I’ve spent thinking about what people are capable of, and how they can stand
hanging a mirror in every bathroom, because water cannot clean people
of the lie they told their brother or the betrayal inflicted against their friend,
some wrongs of which may never be realized, but will always remain
in the form of a new freckle on my left cheek or shadow beneath my eye.
And I am sorry, because I should have sooner heeded my mother’s words
when she told me I was the moral compass grounding you stonedust streets.
Your childhood resembled a light bulb broken before it tasted electricity,
no one taught you North from South and how different the terrain may become
when you find yourself in the mountains with only sandals on your feet.
I had been that for you, and you told me as much every weekend we spent
riding in the bed of my father’s pickup truck and shouting against wind-gusts
that threatened to carry our voices away from one another--
I have sinced learned there are many ways to **** a person.
I killed you when I stole your sense of direction like floorboards from beneath
your cracked and bleeding feet, and allowed you to fall--who knows how far--
landing in a pile of skin-biting needles and leftover sediment,
the very bottom of brown-glass bottles strewn across the floor.
Staying would have saved you, I’m sure, and I’ll never forget that I turned away
out of fear, cowardice, because I hated the sight of your skin-and-bone crowd,
friends in name but not in heart, and left you lost among them,
And you who knew no better remained, your humanity
expelled with each smoke-laden breath and then evaporating, nonextant.
Jan 21, 2015
Jan 21, 2015 at 7:45 PM UTC
I've been out of breath all day
Maybe I went jogging in your mind?
I don't understand pickup lines, I just miss you.
Jun 30, 2010
Jun 30, 2010 at 5:20 PM UTC
Some of my predictions come true and i got to say i have a keen eye of probability-even though i'm bad at math.
Walk up to her and say that you predict you and her going on a date next Friday night and hopefully that will work.
Guys need new ways to be romantic, so we can keep our game up. No bad pickup-lines or ****** diction. Just pure prestineness within confident ties.
Dec 13, 2015
Dec 13, 2015 at 1:11 AM UTC
I pass back and read late at night
write poetry,
eat yogurt, things I had sworn off and return to with ever more vigor
I am caught in an orbit,
the gravitation is just enough to keep me spinning and too much
to let me go free, I fight it,
I fight it with stolen cigarettes and late nights
and tumbling over and over on a golf course
I fight it with drinks by myself and the purchase of ridiculous items
song lyrics composed on the spot and bold winks across the room
smiley faces and pickup lines to people I should not dare
a fantasy of LSD and the hope I'll see a dragon
so I can finally stop dreaming of them.
Aug 17, 2014
Aug 17, 2014 at 10:43 PM UTC
Are you aware,
did you know,
have you been told
you've got killer voice,
leaving me no choice
but preemptive action...
Let's ensure mutual destruction
of clothes;
my thoughts
made those illegal
in a secret meeting;
that security council
in my head...
while the heart was busy beating,
doing its own thing...
Captives in my cells
twisted and bled out
their escape plans...
Excuse me, got sidetracked,
what's your name again?
I'm twenty-three
but only if you switch the digits.
For a high-functioning whatever,
I must say I'm admirably sane
but you pull the wrong lever,
and the lyrics spill with the melody
breaking the levee.
So what do you do for a living?
That's adorable.
How are we still sitting
and talking here?
You thought I'd be taller;
I was expecting you'd run off screaming.
Let's drink to that, the small victories!
Time will tell what's next
if only we listen,
instead of reading more text,
unless we're OK with missing out.
God, my thoughts do talk loud!
When did your face get so near?
Lips go "clink", and eyes go "Cheers!"
Feb 2, 2017
Feb 2, 2017 at 10:19 AM UTC
BodyWhen you're happy
Everything seems easy
Sometimes I ask myself
'How come the world spins
But we don't feel dizzy?'
'How come the best pickup lines
come offas cheesy?'
Last week I asked God if we could chill
And he said he was kinda busy
I think words carry more value
Than actions
Cause' you rwally much believe
What is received by the ear
Than the eye
And I
May come off as sly
If I use words
That create that strong feeling inside
I live my life in a prison
And here's my reason:
My thoughts are trapped
Inside my mind
And I find it hard to free them
Cause' I'm scared that someone would steal
My ideas
Apr 25, 2014
Apr 25, 2014 at 4:51 AM UTC
Since my breakup
I realized the importance
of threats from debt
wieghing down
a relationship
Since my breakup
I have made a promise
to not have one
monthly obligation
regardless the sacrifice
Since my breakup
I moved in with family
in order to save money
and paid cash for a camper
so I could live, rent free
Since my breakup
I paid cash for a pickup
that easily could last me
the next 20 years to come, not paying one penny to interest
Since my breakup
I have been saving
as much as possible
versus financing
MY AMERICAN DREAM
Since my breakup
I bought a sports car
that was the one to have
when I was in highschool
another goal Im proud of
Since my breakup
I have divided and conquered
all the debts and threats
of monthly obligations
and rearranged my desires
Since my breakup
I have realized what i want
and Im proud to say
I finally purchased
my own piece of land
Since my breakup
I have discovered
my desire to live simple
and my next mission
is to build a home on my land
BUY DIRT
Nov 15, 2021
Nov 15, 2021 at 10:18 PM UTC
she was hot, she was so hot
I didn't want anybody else to have her,
and if I didn't get home on time
she'd be gone, and I couldn't bear that-
I'd go mad. . .
it was foolish I know, childish,
but I was caught in it, I was caught.
I delivered all the mail
and then Henderson put me on the night pickup run
in an old army truck,
the **** thing began to heat halfway through the run
and the night went on
me thinking about my hot Miriam
and jumping in and out of the truck
filling mailsacks
the engine continuing to heat up
the temperature needle was at the top
HOT HOT
like Miriam.
leaped in and out
3 more pickups and into the station
I'd be, my car
waiting to get me to Miriam who sat on my blue couch
with scotch on the rocks
crossing her legs and swinging her ankles
like she did,
2 more stops. . .
the truck stalled at a traffic light, it was hell
kicking it over
again. . .
I had to be home by 8,8 was the deadline for Miriam.
I made the last pickup and the truck stalled at a signal
1/2 block from the station. . .
it wouldn't start, it couldn't start. . .
I locked the doors, pulled the key and ran down to the
station. . .
I threw the keys down. . .signed out. . .
your ********* truck is stalled at the signal,
I shouted,
Pico and Western. . .
. . .I ran down the hall,put the key into the door,
opened it. . .her drinking glass was there, and a note:
sun of a *****
I waited until 5 after ate
you don't love me
you sun of a *****
somebody will love me
I been wateing all day
Miriam
I poured a drink and let the water run into the tub
there were 5,000 bars in town
and I'd make 25 of them
looking for Miriam
her purple teddy bear held the note
as he leaned against a pillow
I gave the bear a drink, myself a drink
and got into the hot
water.
6.3k
Breakfast
The morning spins lazily
out of the Universe’s black eye
like a surveillance camera
************ my paranoia.
I eat a small breakfast
of toads and do my coughing
exercises.
In the cellar the flesh
incinerator purrs for dinner
and is only satisfied with
one species of rare mammal.
My exotic summer guests,
strewn on the floor
like pickup sticks,
are becoming a burden,
so I toss one in the furnace
and hazily return to bed.
Aug 28, 2015
Aug 28, 2015 at 9:03 PM UTC
She kept all her emotions
Monitored by a rather
Peculiar body part
Her eyebrows
They were
The distinct way
She used to communicate
I learned to read her impeccably
A sudden shift; low drop
Of dark blonde brows
Was displeasure and
Soon brooding
A quirk
Or amused twitch
Meant she liked whatever
Ridiculous pickup line I’d used
Those golden ridges became my
Guide to a mystery
I always tried
To solve
Oct 16, 2011
Oct 16, 2011 at 8:20 PM UTC
I have nothing better to do
when it rains so I go to the pier
on vacation with my pole and chicken necks
and rusted traps, drive down
to where the kayaks wait
in the mud, stop to smell
where fresh fish float through
brackish waters and tie a knot
at the end of my string, attach a bob
and minnow and cast
out towards the bay spotting
dead skates and hope
for mackerel and striper,
how my father taught me be gentle
I tie the necks to string and let the meat sink
below the surface and wait to be caught
up with delicious ****** poultry
to feed on and get trapped behind
the jailed walls. I hope the blue
crab knows I had to drive over
the county line in my shoddy white
pickup to the quiet co-op
when she bites into the chicken
for our dinner.
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 30, 2014 at 11:06 PM UTC
I am not a piece of art,
I am the product of your indiscretion.
I don't want your name,
I don't care about your profession.
Leave the pickup lines,
I'd rather drive a nail through my eyes.
No motive to disinterest,
I can't stand the self focused lies.
I am what you made,
Not an object to be sought after.
I crave meaningful talk
Instead of the shallow laughter.
Feb 11, 2013
Feb 11, 2013 at 11:22 PM UTC
I pass back and read late at night
write poetry,
eat yogurt, things I had sworn off and return to with ever more vigor
I am caught in an orbit,
the gravitation is just enough to keep me spinning and too much
to let me go free, I fight it,
I fight it with stolen cigarettes and late nights
and tumbling over and over on a golf course
I fight it with drinks by myself and the purchase of ridiculous items
song lyrics composed on the spot and bold winks across the room
smiley faces and pickup lines to people I should not dare
a fantasy of LSD and the hope I'll see a dragon
so I can finally stop dreaming of them.
Sep 23, 2015
Sep 23, 2015 at 11:28 AM UTC
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Apr 8, 2016
Apr 8, 2016 at 4:16 PM UTC