"pethetic" poems
Your love touched trauma
as my body shuddered.
Tension released
tears poured out as I wept in silence
as I wept in darkness
as I wept, a master of deception
My pain stayed outside your awareness
Your hands across my chest
created an image
of a baby being dried after taking a bath
both of your hands were enough to grab my torso
and I became painfully aware of how feeble I am
weak and dependent
Harsh thoughts, pethetic
somewhere, somehow seeking redemption
while there is nothing to redeem
my challenge lies in acceptance
A path my mind created to stray
A path my mind created to survive
Acceptence for me will be the end of me
this me, fitted to survive in a world no longer this world
but the previous one, another reality
that has been explored and discovered.
But just like this world and the previous one
I always defy the reality that I see
Because the reality that I see doesn't coincide with
what's inside this core of me.
This core of me desperately trying to break loose
in this pethetic shell,
I WANNA BE MYSELF, YET I'M STUCK IN THIS SELFMADE PRISON, IT'S HELL
YET I AM THE WARDEN, THE GUARD AND THE GUY DROPPING
THE SOAP.
I HOLD THE ******* KEYS YET I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GO
ALL I CAN DO NOW IS SIT BEHIND MY DESK, ROLL ONE UP
AND TAKE A **** so...
I don't have a ******* answer, I simply don't know.
Sep 15, 2015
Sep 15, 2015 at 4:58 PM UTC
The pain's finally done.
You had finally won.
Your own personal hell you can no longer define.
So you can finally say
everything is fine.
But never before have You been so mistaken,
So naive to think it was over.
That because You had beaten it once,
That you'd forgotten the pain,
Everything would be fine.
But that veil was violently ripped from your eyes
When the demons inside
Showed you the things
That They know you despise
Things about yourself.
They whispered
you're useless
No one cares
You may as well die
Look at the damage you've made
And the pieces you failed to regain.
And you let them keep talking
you suffer in silence
Because you wouldn't dare
To bother the people you love
with something So stupid as yourself.
So once again you were ****** into hell
And the flames of the words burnt your soul as you fell
Never before had You felt so alone
Despite have loved ones right their in your home
But in hell, you don't see them
Just as they don't see hell burning round you.
So as your soul burns inside with their words and their hate
You can only just fake a smile and wait
For the ashes left behind by the flames
So you can hold them close
Because that's all that remains.
And so you cut yourself open
Because you're deperate to try
To bring back the life
that those ashes once held inside
But that's not the case
That's never enough
Your life is now gone
It's nothing but dust
So you just give up.
Because what's the point
Of trying to live
When your life's all burnt up.
So out go the ashes
And in come the chains
That wrap round your neck
Because nothing remains
But this useless shell of a body
That will also not stay.
Because now as you hang the rope to the sky
As you sharpen the blade that will be your final good bye
You know just how badly you're going to hurt those you love.
You know those words you wrote are not even close to enough.
And it only makes death seem more inviting.
That silence your mind is so desperately craving
Yet your body still fights
For what it thinks is a life
That the pain and the sorrow
That beats you within
Is worth this pethetic excuse of a life.
So when you can't cut the veins
Or kick out that chair
You realize that even at death you can fail.
You can't even manage to **** yourself right
Youre stupid you're dumb
Yeah, you're useless alright.
So in sickening defeat
You go tell those you love
That it happened again
You guess last time just wasn't enough
And you're sent far away
To be cared for and treated
Like something ready to break,
And for god knows how long,
Your mind just goes blank.
Thankfully as time go's on,
your hell fades away
And once again you can see light of day
You feel ready to cry
with joy and relief
Because at last
The pain's finally done.
You had finally won.
Your own personal hell you can no longer define.
So you can finally say
everything is fine.
May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 10:48 PM UTC
Your reality perceived past the event horizon is a truth distorted.
Your soul resides in the very escape mechanisms that put you there in the first place. A tunnelvisionaire claiming to have seen the world. Yet it's definite proof to how confided you remain in your own perceived reality.
The arrogance that resonates from the words you write is written with ink which consists of pethetic.
Your own tears flow more free than you will ever be.
How does that truth make you feel?
You are a prisoner, self-proclaimed victim. You clipped your own wings and started crying how you'll never fly again. The true horror is that others sympathize with you, show you the mercy you ache for and thus confirm that your unhealthy needs and distorted reality remain the place for you to be. How does that truth make you feel?
I for one am disgusted.
Dec 9, 2015
Dec 9, 2015 at 11:38 AM UTC
Jaw clenched and with anger burning in my eyes
I'll tell you.
You killed me....
Unforgivable.
Abusive.
It is repulsive.
Manipulative.
I am disgusted.
Dramatic.
I say redundant.
Symbiotic
it's pethetic.
You will always manage to trigger my gag reflex.
May death be the head that rests on your beating chest.
I will thrive on your despair and laugh when you get desperate
I will be there in dreams you don't want nobody to see
and I will just watch.
Suffer, struggle, scream.
Nobody acknowledges you. Nobody sees you.
Because that is the everlasting abyss that I dominate.
I will envelop and devour you
untill you are completely surrounded.
Then.
I'll turn my back.
and thrive.
Absolute Zero.
Oct 28, 2015
Oct 28, 2015 at 4:47 PM UTC
There's nothing to be written. There's nothing to be told.
There are no words hangin' around late night in the street.
Not a single breath wasted, there's nothing to see.
The chalk line of a dead body.
A remnant of a life pethetic, lost in just a second.
It's nothing worth mentioning.
Couldn't even remember it.
Just an eerie chill lingering around.
The kind that makes people stay frosty.
Woman grip their purses. Pace fastens.
Fists clenched, gaze hardened.
An after effect, when I say **** all
and my cold soul jumps from an appartment high.
and the world will just keep on spinning.
and you will just keep on living.
and all of you will find happiness.
and most of you wouldn't weep nor shed a tear.
and you know what?
That's fine.
Guess what imma do when all of y'all die.
Feb 17, 2016
Feb 17, 2016 at 4:26 PM UTC
*I just...
this..
is not my cup of tea..
..living..
or rather..
living without you*
Everything is ******* out of my hands reach
miss my daughter immensly
my ex-wife portraying me like I'm a **** beast
Zangief
abusive to my family
neglecting
not caring
selfish beyond repairing
..
empty.
Self fulfilling prophecy is a ***** ain't it?
On the ******* other side of the ******* globe
lies my ******* home
******* sickening
the ******* place where I'm ******* at now
is ******* great though
yet I ******* feel ******* pitiful
******* pethetic
All I ******* feel
All ******* day
is everything that I'm ******* missing
In my ******* life!
******* Hell!
Aug 28, 2014
Aug 28, 2014 at 7:20 AM UTC