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"peripheral" poems
mirrored fly-glass and polished chrome are tinted in the blood orange dawn running dogs of lummi hush quiet on this celestial summer morn clubman bars and tan saddles strapped to the lowered hind skull caps and fitted chaps for the open flow and rich peripheral scene concessions at the peace arch (from the blue-coat fuzz) black ***** and maples cake the bow hill and chuckanut choppers launch at edison (with their metal fleck and tuft) a half moon rises on the concho and interstellar cross cinnamon gulls and ravens scour the netted docks warlock driftwood and row homes spot the winding coastal roads rumbling sounds at the packer slew ~ with the redolence of briny bay alive on the overlook at fairhaven
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Nov 18, 2017
Nov 18, 2017 at 5:55 PM UTC
The Indian Chief & Road King
Filter the perfect shade of the forenoon sun, Not too bright, not too dull. For with ease and carefree thoughts, You let the sunbeam-drizzling fairies play As the beauty reflected in your retinas. Capture this scenic view: Where the burnt chestnut colored oaks And mudstained sweetheart sundress of yours Dance in three-four beats of waltz. The Crayola strokes of the skies And the watercolor streaks of daydreams and nightmares Paint the canvas of your disquited thoughts. This is the peripheral view from your suncrashed irises and corners, This is your world. Let your knees down to your sore feet Be engulfed by the chasms of the bewildered grass, As the smile makes it way to your plump spring lips; Callused fingers from guitar strings Twirl and twist the blades, Cutting through flesh And green and red and blue and yellow, All sorts of color came spilling from your playful bruise. From this panoramic view of yours Of a wonder wonderland, Where the ticks of clock Follow the sunflower throughout time and forever, This is the beauty of that stem: A key to escapism To a well-dreamt lovely world.
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Nov 27, 2014
Nov 27, 2014 at 6:30 AM UTC
Rio's Sunflower
The church field trip led to the most beautiful presence, The elegance protrude by the sweet scent. I dared not moved so hastily, I dared not the red! Glanced by the peripheral eye lids, The red beckoned the thumping beats within my chest! A visual decor permeates from the illuminating of the perfect circle, And my inner most demon want to ravage it! I wanted to devour every essense of the crescent, Becoming one with red. I slightly move forward so no eyes may pry onto my movement, Like an orchestra moved to one trumpet to a violin scurry along. Finally came side by side of the precious glimmer of the curves, And moved my hand to palm the red's grace on the tilt of it's end. I open wide to cusp my mouth to bite deep into it's brilliance, In my teeth feeling the liquid and crunchy of it's body! Sour taste of salt expand a vigor of darkness cover my mouth, I look at the apple's plate beneath me read " Ida Red!" Water upon my eyes, No longer can chew any further, I simply shallowed the chunk in my throat!   "Your elegance beckon me red, but in the end, you have seduced me to bitterness!" I dared, Idared, ida red!
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Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 10:09 PM UTC
Seduced by the Unknown Red's Trickery!
The tide collects it all by morning; The drama and the ***** napalmed across the path. The scenes at second warning for most had been swept away Before they wiped the sand from their shoes. Empty cans of Dutch and Tuborg slouched on the dunes Are tight-lipped about the Velvet Strand's secret ecosystem; An underground microcosm; A peripheral cluster of seething emotions drowned. Memories of those years - although some expired, The vestiges take pride of place - hold a cosmic clump of smells, Tastes, firsts, goosebumps, hangovers, and ends. I never before understood what I was holding on to. Winters down in the shelters nearly killed us but we Huddled through the cold, lit cheap firelogs and Found our oblivion. It didn't take much for me to develop   A stagger - tolerance for a lot of things was learned later. I narrowly recall my first taste of poor judgement and Hazy-headed stargazing. Six cans of Stonehouse Dry cider - most of which ended up on the hillside - Was a ridiculous endeavour that will always be sublime. At the heart of it, I did it to impress a girl; The one every boy has or has had that sticks; Who holds your firsts and your hands and makes Things simple if only for her complexity; The one that never fails to bring upon digression when Pens are involved. Revisiting reminiscence on a jarring note, I think of my Junior Cert exams and a cross-dressed man Exposing himself to two uniformed boys behind the public toilets. This one doesn't stir the joy of the others. This one I wish would dissolve; An ugly, awkward blotch on a childhood. Luckily fondness trumps disgust when recalling that place Because of sunrises and sunsets absorbed from the roof. The Summers spent jumping the gap and drowning in the Heat of the sun were everything. The fugitive sand between our toes and under finger nails Became an accepted nuisance, a part of the territory; A lingering grain or two to drag you back. I miss waking up with the smell of last night's faded fire.
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May 3, 2015
May 3, 2015 at 8:22 PM UTC
Faded Firsts and Firelogs
The tide collects it all by morning; The drama and the ***** napalmed across the path. The scenes at second warning for most had been swept away Before they wiped the sand from their shoes. Empty cans of Dutch and Tuborg slouched on the dunes Are tight-lipped about the Velvet Strand's secret ecosystem; An underground microcosm; A peripheral cluster of seething emotions drowned. Memories of those years - although some expired, The vestiges take pride of place - hold a cosmic clump of smells, Tastes, firsts, goosebumps, hangovers, and ends. I never before understood what I was holding on to. Winters down in the shelters nearly killed us but we Huddled through the cold, lit cheap firelogs and Found our oblivion. It didn't take much for me to develop   A stagger - tolerance for a lot of things was learned later. I narrowly recall my first taste of poor judgement and Hazy-headed stargazing. Six cans of Stonehouse Dry cider - most of which ended up on the hillside - Was a ridiculous endeavour that will always be sublime. At the heart of it, I did it to impress a girl; The one every boy has or has had that sticks; Who holds your firsts and your hands and makes Things simple if only for her complexity; The one that never fails to bring upon digression when Pens are involved. Revisiting reminiscence on a jarring note, I think of my Junior Cert exams and a cross-dressed man Exposing himself to two uniformed boys behind the public toilets. This one doesn't stir the joy of the others. This one I wish would dissolve; An ugly, awkward blotch on a childhood. Luckily fondness trumps disgust when recalling that place Because of sunrises and sunsets absorbed from the roof. The Summers spent jumping the gap and drowning in the Heat of the sun were everything. The fugitive sand between our toes and under finger nails Became an accepted nuisance, a part of the territory; A lingering grain or two to drag you back. I miss waking up with the smell of last night's faded fire.
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The parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for regulations unconsciously transpiring within the organs and the glands of the body. Such as: urination, salivation, digestion, defecation, and lacrimation (noun. ‘the flow of tears’. Latin. from lacrimare (‘weep’) and lacrima (‘tear’). It’s why I cry even when I don’t want to. You are the parasympathetic nervous system. The (ortho-)sympathetic nervous system is responsible for the mobilization of the fight-or-flight response and constantly maintaining homeostasis within the body. It acts rapidly, enacting an attempt at stability and the necessary and critical ability to suddenly escape on pulsing legs or cling to survival through brandishing adrenaline-doused knuckles and dilated pupils. It’s why you live even when you don’t want to. I am the sympathetic nervous system. The parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems are two of three essential nervous systems which compose the autonomic nervous system (a part of the peripheral nervous system) that manages involuntary functions of the body. Such as: swallowing, perspiration, arousal, breathing, and heart rate (noun. ‘the speed of the heartbeat’. usually expressed in beats per minute. mine speeds up when I see you). Individually these two systems oppose but compliment each other like our hands do— pressed together and omitting equal force; veins meeting at the fingertips and throbbing at the wrists but running amuck on our respective digits otherwise. You are the invariable and unspoken reminder to breath, love, sweat, and live. I am the sudden snap of reality always aiming to save you but grudgingly willing to fight you and ready to leave. From the deepest lower half of my brainstem and from every nerve in my cycling body, I’m sorry. From all of my chromaffin cells and from the truest parts of submandibular ganglian, I am sorry.
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May 12, 2014
May 12, 2014 at 8:17 PM UTC
don't ask me what a submandibular ganglian is because i won't know (a biologically correct love letter)
The parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for regulations unconsciously transpiring within the organs and the glands of the body. Such as: urination, salivation, digestion, defecation, and lacrimation (noun. ‘the flow of tears’. Latin. from lacrimare (‘weep’) and lacrima (‘tear’). It’s why I cry even when I don’t want to. You are the parasympathetic nervous system. The (ortho-)sympathetic nervous system is responsible for the mobilization of the fight-or-flight response and constantly maintaining homeostasis within the body. It acts rapidly, enacting an attempt at stability and the necessary and critical ability to suddenly escape on pulsing legs or cling to survival through brandishing adrenaline-doused knuckles and dilated pupils. It’s why you live even when you don’t want to. I am the sympathetic nervous system. The parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems are two of three essential nervous systems which compose the autonomic nervous system (a part of the peripheral nervous system) that manages involuntary functions of the body. Such as: swallowing, perspiration, arousal, breathing, and heart rate (noun. ‘the speed of the heartbeat’. usually expressed in beats per minute. mine speeds up when I see you). Individually these two systems oppose but compliment each other like our hands do— pressed together and omitting equal force; veins meeting at the fingertips and throbbing at the wrists but running amuck on our respective digits otherwise. You are the invariable and unspoken reminder to breath, love, sweat, and live. I am the sudden snap of reality always aiming to save you but grudgingly willing to fight you and ready to leave. From the deepest lower half of my brainstem and from every nerve in my cycling body, I’m sorry. From all of my chromaffin cells and from the truest parts of submandibular ganglian, I am sorry.
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Arriving at the entrance of the ancient temple the white rabbit covered his ears. Shattering glass from a high-pitched vibration he leaped away from a falling chandelier. “I must find our beloved Harvest Moon." The white rabbit said to himself. With stern affirmation, a dark fog churned then into the vortex he was consumed. He stopped at the entrance of the temple courtyard; everyone was frozen like statues. "What has she done to all of you?" He cried, then pulled out a magic rune deflecting a hail of daggers. The white rabbit looked up at a floating cocoon and saw the shadow witch hovering over the temple roof. Pale skin and veins glowing red, she was draped in a black tattered robe. With a sinister look and a Crown of Fire on her head the shadow witch spoke. “White rabbit, white rabbit the Harvest Moon is dead!" The white rabbit took leaped back then cried out. "This cannot be so!" Then he pulled from his bag a magic scroll and read the words written in gold. "I ask the wind to protect me from this dark magic despair" Then he conjured a circle of trees in a water globe. The witch streaked across the air and swung around her jet-black hair. Then she commanded an infestation of spiders to climb inside the trees and explode. Barricading himself inside a magic bubble he was protected from the onslaught of shrapnel. The white rabbit grabbed the water globe, leaped into the air, and disappeared in a puff of amber smoke. The shadow witch pulled out a blood-red pearl and murmured an incantation. "Clever white rabbit, I shall find you in the invisible world" The white rabbit snapped his fingers then magically appeared behind her. He snatched off the Crown of Fire from her head then whispered the following words. "How dare you use dark magic on me!" She jumped in fear spinning around, then summoned a devil hound. The white rabbit raised the water globe and merged it with the crown. A shock wave of light pulsated in the air then the witch menacingly yelled. “Take him down!” The white rabbit saw in his peripheral view the hound lunge to attack. But he was too cunning for this, with a symbolic wave and a vigorous slash the hound was severed in two. The shadow witch glared, then cried out. “We shall meet again white rabbit; I promise you I'll be back!” Then she summoned a fiery cauldron and vanished with a blinding flash. The white rabbit ran inside the temple and approached the Harvest Moon. He stared with eyes full of tears and sorrow at a beautiful princess with hair long and blue. A beautiful creature he so desired, the love he had for her was true. He opened his bag and pulled out the globe which was now encased with the Crown of Fire. "I brought you a gift from the shadow witch" Then he smashed the globe and with a flash of light, the Crown of Fire was finally free. The white rabbit held the princess and spoke. "I have always served you because I love you and now, I command you to come back to life!" Then he placed the Crown of Fire on her head igniting a ring of light. The white rabbit looked down to see the Harvest Moon Princess opening both of her eyes.
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Aug 15, 2013
Aug 15, 2013 at 12:04 AM UTC
The Crown of Fire
Arriving at the entrance of the ancient temple the white rabbit covered his ears. Shattering glass from a high-pitched vibration he leaped away from a falling chandelier. “I must find our beloved Harvest Moon." The white rabbit said to himself. With stern affirmation, a dark fog churned then into the vortex he was consumed. He stopped at the entrance of the temple courtyard; everyone was frozen like statues. "What has she done to all of you?" He cried, then pulled out a magic rune deflecting a hail of daggers. The white rabbit looked up at a floating cocoon and saw the shadow witch hovering over the temple roof. Pale skin and veins glowing red, she was draped in a black tattered robe. With a sinister look and a Crown of Fire on her head the shadow witch spoke. “White rabbit, white rabbit the Harvest Moon is dead!" The white rabbit took leaped back then cried out. "This cannot be so!" Then he pulled from his bag a magic scroll and read the words written in gold. "I ask the wind to protect me from this dark magic despair" Then he conjured a circle of trees in a water globe. The witch streaked across the air and swung around her jet-black hair. Then she commanded an infestation of spiders to climb inside the trees and explode. Barricading himself inside a magic bubble he was protected from the onslaught of shrapnel. The white rabbit grabbed the water globe, leaped into the air, and disappeared in a puff of amber smoke. The shadow witch pulled out a blood-red pearl and murmured an incantation. "Clever white rabbit, I shall find you in the invisible world" The white rabbit snapped his fingers then magically appeared behind her. He snatched off the Crown of Fire from her head then whispered the following words. "How dare you use dark magic on me!" She jumped in fear spinning around, then summoned a devil hound. The white rabbit raised the water globe and merged it with the crown. A shock wave of light pulsated in the air then the witch menacingly yelled. “Take him down!” The white rabbit saw in his peripheral view the hound lunge to attack. But he was too cunning for this, with a symbolic wave and a vigorous slash the hound was severed in two. The shadow witch glared, then cried out. “We shall meet again white rabbit; I promise you I'll be back!” Then she summoned a fiery cauldron and vanished with a blinding flash. The white rabbit ran inside the temple and approached the Harvest Moon. He stared with eyes full of tears and sorrow at a beautiful princess with hair long and blue. A beautiful creature he so desired, the love he had for her was true. He opened his bag and pulled out the globe which was now encased with the Crown of Fire. "I brought you a gift from the shadow witch" Then he smashed the globe and with a flash of light, the Crown of Fire was finally free. The white rabbit held the princess and spoke. "I have always served you because I love you and now, I command you to come back to life!" Then he placed the Crown of Fire on her head igniting a ring of light. The white rabbit looked down to see the Harvest Moon Princess opening both of her eyes.
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When his eyes first fell upon her She was choosing avocados In the fruit and vegetable aisle. And he watched how her thumbs lingered On the base of the alligator pear And pressed, maternally. He feigned interest in the cabbages Whilst sensing her delicate architecture Through his peripheral gaze. He thought that somewhere, In real or imaginary life, They would soon bathe together. And when they did, They soaked for years in secrets, Details suffusing through their lips and arms, Water-hole satisfaction and moonlit deserts To make them feel they might have transcended cabbages And be pervading a rhapsodic realm They forgot their friends watching in greenery, Subsumed by each-other, They felt no need To live in a world of relativity and apples. Their love-traced sphere tightened around them, Until it ****** at the edges of their skin And wailed when they parted. Tighter it grew, elastic dug into their humid thighs Contorting their once harmonic bodies That used to fit like crosswords. And they each became ugly to the other As the seconds ingested their perfection And they bickered like flailing urchins In a deep sea soiled darkness. Decisions were made and paroxysms detonated And they were taken back by their Fungal friends with tissue offerings And ethanol. Time passed, and memories were binned Periodically on tuesdays Until neither knew the other And they would pass in the supermarket With no more than a quickened gait And a silent thud in each ribcage. But neither could buy avocados.
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Nov 16, 2011
Nov 16, 2011 at 12:18 PM UTC
Avocado Pear
When his eyes first fell upon her She was choosing avocados In the fruit and vegetable aisle. And he watched how her thumbs lingered On the base of the alligator pear And pressed, maternally. He feigned interest in the cabbages Whilst sensing her delicate architecture Through his peripheral gaze. He thought that somewhere, In real or imaginary life, They would soon bathe together. And when they did, They soaked for years in secrets, Details suffusing through their lips and arms, Water-hole satisfaction and moonlit deserts To make them feel they might have transcended cabbages And be pervading a rhapsodic realm They forgot their friends watching in greenery, Subsumed by each-other, They felt no need To live in a world of relativity and apples. Their love-traced sphere tightened around them, Until it ****** at the edges of their skin And wailed when they parted. Tighter it grew, elastic dug into their humid thighs Contorting their once harmonic bodies That used to fit like crosswords. And they each became ugly to the other As the seconds ingested their perfection And they bickered like flailing urchins In a deep sea soiled darkness. Decisions were made and paroxysms detonated And they were taken back by their Fungal friends with tissue offerings And ethanol. Time passed, and memories were binned Periodically on tuesdays Until neither knew the other And they would pass in the supermarket With no more than a quickened gait And a silent thud in each ribcage. But neither could buy avocados.
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Lucid, abusive Tongue in cheek divine Stupid, elusive Lost soul of mine A snap of orchestral fingers to summon the suave illustrator Mohawk punks and minions to smash the limp masturbator Loveless, acquiesce Arpeggio flutter ripples Convalesce, Fancy dress ******* with perky ******* One or two drinks, make it three then five Keeping the blood warm and love alive Visceral, peripheral Dark raven hair Liberal, scriptural I couldn’t even care. I adored her all, her everything, her gleaming demeanor The subtle wink of her eyes, the glow; even greener Exotica, ex machina Street amazon of desert glass sand No drama, rural karma Flesh sweating like the heat of Sudan Dead singers like Cole and Morrison sing of paper moons and Crystal Ships The mixed CD segues to U2, Pulp, and then a full disk of The Flaming Lips. "Nightingale", minor scale The saxophonist played under the street lamp outside Folktale female “Another drink?” she abides, two glasses and wine supplied On her balcony we watched and listened, to the call of urban passion The wordless music we adored, a testament to our mutual attraction.
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Apr 16, 2013
Apr 16, 2013 at 5:07 AM UTC
After Hours
The stars once more have lost their race Through night-sky versus mercurial moon. In this defeat no dishonor will debase Futile efforts to intersect upon the lune. Desert scents of juniper and Mormon Tea Waft fragrant above the comfort fire smoke. Banana yucca roasting at my knee, Fleshy fruit consumption for us hungry folk. Nevada nights nip raw this time of year; Our lot is cast by glowing embers, Whose reflector stones essential to survival, Stave off cold that we need not fear Frostbite to peripheral members, Till sunlight returns with warmth's revival.
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Feb 21, 2012
Feb 21, 2012 at 2:07 PM UTC
Mohave Comfort Fire
I did not believe, standing on the bank of a river which was wide and swift, that I would cross that bridge plaited from thin, fragile reeds fastened with bast. I walked delicately, as a butterfly and heavily as an elephant, I walked surely as a dancer and wavered like a blind man. I did not believe that I would cross that bridge, and now that I am standing on the other side, I do not believe I crossed it.
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Apr 19, 2022
Apr 19, 2022 at 11:23 AM UTC
peripheral auditory
I am Bear Lady and you are Toucan Man — Fur and feathered backs against a striped tent. Cut-off like tickets, crowds melting Dali-like in the distance from crystalline eyes, frozen in time… Wings graze skin and fur can’t compete. The electricity of our eccentricity is freakish, yet with every touch, I feel less like a freak. My history of hoop jumping tightrope walking, and captivity dissolve transparently as I search deep,                 deep,             deep, into supernova eyes — they outshine this circus life, this love for applause, the performance inside. As I gaze into frozen pools, the broken chords of carny music da da da-da-da-da drown. The morning quiet, muddled coffee grinds are sensitive and silent, chilling me to the soul. Earth, a peripheral, to pupils that absorb mine full-force, until I can’t see this galaxy anymore, save green starbursts, my light source.
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Jun 27, 2015
Jun 27, 2015 at 12:18 PM UTC
Stillness in the Circus
liminality; barely there ask if it matters care if you dare believe in impossibility mind framing liminal spaces places of liminal mind-frames filaments between contexts capturing subtleties as moths liminally reaching inwards map of a shady threshold twilight netherworld border between now & everywhen cusp of crisp discovery intangible as of late liminal during daylight; stars, fireflies, lanterns night itself being liminal colors need brightness shadow for textures whispering worlds peripheral vision vibes and feltsense inner underworlds embracing hell reversing it
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Oct 20, 2013
Oct 20, 2013 at 6:19 PM UTC
shades of liminality, liminal flavors
Hand out the window treading air. No seat belts and country songs filtered through the radio. Cornfields racing by in the peripheral. I was quite in love, with your old truck's feel.
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Jan 11, 2014
Jan 11, 2014 at 6:45 PM UTC
Your Old Truck
and while a tear snuck down his face like a falling star in my peripheral view, he choked out, "what i wouldn't give to make it easier for you."
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Sep 12, 2018
Sep 12, 2018 at 3:46 AM UTC
he smiled
Existential crisis Fundamental flaws Insurmountable dilemma Confabulations galore Indistinguishable chaos Contraindications Untenable maladies Nature’s riled Abject behavior Peripheral existence Satire of reality
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Jan 4, 2015
Jan 4, 2015 at 10:15 AM UTC
Be Wary
My back touched the fabric of the couch as I slouched and tilted my head. I let my elbow fell on the armchair as my thumb flew between my lips and my teeth perched on its flesh. My forefinger ran back and forth, restlessly, on my nose bridge as I inhaled the details of your head thrown backward, your hair suspended in midair. some strands draping down your chest, your mouth half open, your secret self and your entire being all seducing my peripheral vision.
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Apr 30, 2013
Apr 30, 2013 at 6:08 PM UTC
Stalking Stars
My eyes, python-like, swallow the sky, greedy for the wrongs in me to go right at the sight of your gleeful greenery spilling over creek beds and hills. The wind, combing out my worries, blowing away the blockage built by the fumes and filth collected in city gutters. I want to be let wild, made free. But one wrong turn in your winding maze and I am gone, a place like this will chew you up and spit you out. You should leave, something tells me. No one ever leaves fully intact, the longer you stay, the more you will fall apart. “On the contrary” I scoff. “I am becoming more myself, not less.” But this is what everyone says just before they leap in joyful pursuit to tumble headlong down hidden gullies. But I am more careful, I assure myself. I hunt the way crocodiles do, watching patterns with keen intention, offering my hands and eyes. But what should I do if, when the time comes, You resist? Disregard me, like an unworthy suitor? And what if that is what I am? I see, I take note of the way the wind blows and the shadows fall, the way the trees twist clockwise or counter-clockwise. The way animals flee when I approach and the way they keep perfectly still hoping they are invisible. And there are times when I see all this, and more. Like heat distortions above a fire, something peripheral or liminal, almost outside the spectrum of what can be perceived or communicated or defined. All these trails, the ones seen and unseen and the ones somewhat seen lead me to a terrible suspicion: that the likes of me lacks to tools to understand the likes of you. that in harmony with one another we would both cease to be what we are. that you will never regard me with love and worse— you will never regard me at all. Then I, in frustration, stop going with you. Start to go against you. And keep going, finally on my own. Still myself, but less.
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Sep 21, 2018
Sep 21, 2018 at 7:23 PM UTC
Winderong
My eyes, python-like, swallow the sky, greedy for the wrongs in me to go right at the sight of your gleeful greenery spilling over creek beds and hills. The wind, combing out my worries, blowing away the blockage built by the fumes and filth collected in city gutters. I want to be let wild, made free. But one wrong turn in your winding maze and I am gone, a place like this will chew you up and spit you out. You should leave, something tells me. No one ever leaves fully intact, the longer you stay, the more you will fall apart. “On the contrary” I scoff. “I am becoming more myself, not less.” But this is what everyone says just before they leap in joyful pursuit to tumble headlong down hidden gullies. But I am more careful, I assure myself. I hunt the way crocodiles do, watching patterns with keen intention, offering my hands and eyes. But what should I do if, when the time comes, You resist? Disregard me, like an unworthy suitor? And what if that is what I am? I see, I take note of the way the wind blows and the shadows fall, the way the trees twist clockwise or counter-clockwise. The way animals flee when I approach and the way they keep perfectly still hoping they are invisible. And there are times when I see all this, and more. Like heat distortions above a fire, something peripheral or liminal, almost outside the spectrum of what can be perceived or communicated or defined. All these trails, the ones seen and unseen and the ones somewhat seen lead me to a terrible suspicion: that the likes of me lacks to tools to understand the likes of you. that in harmony with one another we would both cease to be what we are. that you will never regard me with love and worse— you will never regard me at all. Then I, in frustration, stop going with you. Start to go against you. And keep going, finally on my own. Still myself, but less.
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52
Dear boy on the bus You had to sit beside me, today of all days My hair a mess Bundled up in a black winter jacket Acne and tired eyes It had to be today of all days, didn't it Dear boy on the bus, From my peripheral vision I saw a golden mop of hair, which I find to be attractive on the male species I’d call you an angel, but  I don’t even know if you were attractive I’d glance over at you from time to time, only because I was afraid you’d notice Dear boy on the bus, I don’t know whether or not to call you a boy or a man, Because at this age, we’re younger than we look but older than we feel Dear boy on the bus, they say age is just a number, but it’s also just a word, But I’d feel weird if you were younger than me all the same Dear boy on the bus, Do you realize how loud your music was playing? Apparently not, since it lulled you to sleep Even if it was a few decibels lower, heavy metal isn't what comes to mind when I think of ‘lullabies’ I stole glances at you and your sleeping face, praying slightly that the bus would do a wide enough turn so that your head would sort of rest against my shoulder, even though I’m a lot shorter than you Dear boy on the bus, You could sit anywhere else after a few stops. I might have been a little hurt if you moved, but it’s normal. So why didn't you? Dear boy on the bus, With bags on my lap, I felt closed in: I was too afraid to move, too afraid to touch you—I felt my arm brush against your sweater through my jacket and my stomach did somersaults It’s not that I didn't want to touch you, but I didn't want sparks to be sent through my body—my mind was already going wild with the many scenarios playing in my head as we sat there. Dear boy on the bus, My heart was shivering as my stop got closer I didn't want to leave before you did I imagined you didn't want me to leave either Dear boy on the bus, I was thinking of pulling out my phone to text a friend about you, but I was afraid you’d notice. I was thinking of pulling out my phone to write about you—would you think me a poet? Or a creep? Dear boy on the bus, I wish you said something Dear boy on the bus, I wish I said something Dear boy on the bus, When my stop came and we awkwardly got up, I wonder if you thought my sheepish smile meant something, or anything at all.
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Nov 20, 2013
Nov 20, 2013 at 10:57 AM UTC
Dear boy on the bus
Dear boy on the bus You had to sit beside me, today of all days My hair a mess Bundled up in a black winter jacket Acne and tired eyes It had to be today of all days, didn't it Dear boy on the bus, From my peripheral vision I saw a golden mop of hair, which I find to be attractive on the male species I’d call you an angel, but  I don’t even know if you were attractive I’d glance over at you from time to time, only because I was afraid you’d notice Dear boy on the bus, I don’t know whether or not to call you a boy or a man, Because at this age, we’re younger than we look but older than we feel Dear boy on the bus, they say age is just a number, but it’s also just a word, But I’d feel weird if you were younger than me all the same Dear boy on the bus, Do you realize how loud your music was playing? Apparently not, since it lulled you to sleep Even if it was a few decibels lower, heavy metal isn't what comes to mind when I think of ‘lullabies’ I stole glances at you and your sleeping face, praying slightly that the bus would do a wide enough turn so that your head would sort of rest against my shoulder, even though I’m a lot shorter than you Dear boy on the bus, You could sit anywhere else after a few stops. I might have been a little hurt if you moved, but it’s normal. So why didn't you? Dear boy on the bus, With bags on my lap, I felt closed in: I was too afraid to move, too afraid to touch you—I felt my arm brush against your sweater through my jacket and my stomach did somersaults It’s not that I didn't want to touch you, but I didn't want sparks to be sent through my body—my mind was already going wild with the many scenarios playing in my head as we sat there. Dear boy on the bus, My heart was shivering as my stop got closer I didn't want to leave before you did I imagined you didn't want me to leave either Dear boy on the bus, I was thinking of pulling out my phone to text a friend about you, but I was afraid you’d notice. I was thinking of pulling out my phone to write about you—would you think me a poet? Or a creep? Dear boy on the bus, I wish you said something Dear boy on the bus, I wish I said something Dear boy on the bus, When my stop came and we awkwardly got up, I wonder if you thought my sheepish smile meant something, or anything at all.
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39
Somewhere in this town there is man with his feet bare. He has spent the last hour staring at his toothbrush and trying to remember how to leave this room. His fists hold fingers that are twisted into paleness: Like jaws too small for adult teeth. The bathtub gapes up at him, yawning in his peripheral vision, He remembers that two feet are just as good as six when it comes to sinking. He never did learn how to swim, but Like a fish out of water knows The sea can make short work of accidental sailors And the gurgle of a tap can sound like the tide coming in. The bathroom mirror is not kind to him: His imperfections make apologies he simply won’t accept. Ribs forming corrugations on his t-shirt, as though his bones are trying to escape from the confines of his skin. The porcelain lip of the sink continues to pout, its expression a perfect ‘O’. The plughole is wearing lipstick today; blood red, As it has been every day of this week. Thoughts are like spiders webs, he thinks, constructed by moonlight then torn down in the morning Occasionally he’ll still catch the dew. In the sterile light of an eco friendly bulb, he holds the mirror back with both hands, one hinge broken. He wears his heart on his sleeve, cufflinks cutting off his circulation. In the shadow of the cabinet, are kept row after row of soldiers he uses to fight off his demons And below that another regiment to handle the effects of the others. He says, “All I am now is a synonym; and alternative to what I used to be.” As alive is in likeness to living. As the sun is, to the infertile glow of his grandfathers TV.
0
Oct 26, 2013
Oct 26, 2013 at 1:40 PM UTC
Fluoride
Somewhere in this town there is man with his feet bare. He has spent the last hour staring at his toothbrush and trying to remember how to leave this room. His fists hold fingers that are twisted into paleness: Like jaws too small for adult teeth. The bathtub gapes up at him, yawning in his peripheral vision, He remembers that two feet are just as good as six when it comes to sinking. He never did learn how to swim, but Like a fish out of water knows The sea can make short work of accidental sailors And the gurgle of a tap can sound like the tide coming in. The bathroom mirror is not kind to him: His imperfections make apologies he simply won’t accept. Ribs forming corrugations on his t-shirt, as though his bones are trying to escape from the confines of his skin. The porcelain lip of the sink continues to pout, its expression a perfect ‘O’. The plughole is wearing lipstick today; blood red, As it has been every day of this week. Thoughts are like spiders webs, he thinks, constructed by moonlight then torn down in the morning Occasionally he’ll still catch the dew. In the sterile light of an eco friendly bulb, he holds the mirror back with both hands, one hinge broken. He wears his heart on his sleeve, cufflinks cutting off his circulation. In the shadow of the cabinet, are kept row after row of soldiers he uses to fight off his demons And below that another regiment to handle the effects of the others. He says, “All I am now is a synonym; and alternative to what I used to be.” As alive is in likeness to living. As the sun is, to the infertile glow of his grandfathers TV.
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25
The Picture Window The vista view never changes but daily. The naked eye, registers the same distances, resting objects unmoved, modest alterations by wind and water are noted, but for intent, for purpose, the watercolor one would paint be invariably unvarying as a Swiss Alp. The  subtle nuanced worldview, where the sky stretches from ceiling to a foot above ground, as I lay prone neath the coverlet, vista always subtly differing, from its prior reincarnation, self-reflection demands to know. Alive & Awake? Yes. Breathing steady? Yes. Toes? Still can wiggly to & fro. My soul? Presumably ok, as I write, because I write, the picture window into to my insight, though oft blurry, yet intact, making discernible the changes in light, temperature  and heart rate, as the body/soul contraption modulates, just as the gradient of daylight shifts lighter and higher, with a rising sun bringing more clarity to our interactive encounters with our environments.. The picture window internalized, much the same,as the vista, subtle modest changes, colorations variegated, are registered. Today is mostly cloudy overcast, and shall remain so for the foreseeable future, which be about two days hence. Not unsurprisingly, methinks, the future tends to be cloudy. Beyond that peripheral, no one can say, our macular envisioning only gets weaker,time is a tough taskmaster and uncertainty is it’s own principle. But I can say, forecast from well under the comforter, that more than less, where less is more, this picture window, ex and in, shall remain, unchanged for the remainder of my years that fortune shall provide, and will & would grant me awakenings to the ex-sight and in-sight of a sculpted landscape, of negative entropy,  where disorder minimal. My musings end here, unless you still wish, come the morrow, what the marrow the day reveals, what the window will spill, new and exciting, subtly unchanged, and always different. Caution: The injection of caffeine may dramatically alter the windows perspective, as the exogenous always trumps the endogenous. 5:50 AM P.S. Making coffee clarifies: If the vista in +/- unchanging, then, all my personal, own horizons are immortal as well.
0
Jun 4, 2023
Jun 4, 2023 at 6:34 AM UTC
The Picture Window
The Picture Window The vista view never changes but daily. The naked eye, registers the same distances, resting objects unmoved, modest alterations by wind and water are noted, but for intent, for purpose, the watercolor one would paint be invariably unvarying as a Swiss Alp. The  subtle nuanced worldview, where the sky stretches from ceiling to a foot above ground, as I lay prone neath the coverlet, vista always subtly differing, from its prior reincarnation, self-reflection demands to know. Alive & Awake? Yes. Breathing steady? Yes. Toes? Still can wiggly to & fro. My soul? Presumably ok, as I write, because I write, the picture window into to my insight, though oft blurry, yet intact, making discernible the changes in light, temperature  and heart rate, as the body/soul contraption modulates, just as the gradient of daylight shifts lighter and higher, with a rising sun bringing more clarity to our interactive encounters with our environments.. The picture window internalized, much the same,as the vista, subtle modest changes, colorations variegated, are registered. Today is mostly cloudy overcast, and shall remain so for the foreseeable future, which be about two days hence. Not unsurprisingly, methinks, the future tends to be cloudy. Beyond that peripheral, no one can say, our macular envisioning only gets weaker,time is a tough taskmaster and uncertainty is it’s own principle. But I can say, forecast from well under the comforter, that more than less, where less is more, this picture window, ex and in, shall remain, unchanged for the remainder of my years that fortune shall provide, and will & would grant me awakenings to the ex-sight and in-sight of a sculpted landscape, of negative entropy,  where disorder minimal. My musings end here, unless you still wish, come the morrow, what the marrow the day reveals, what the window will spill, new and exciting, subtly unchanged, and always different. Caution: The injection of caffeine may dramatically alter the windows perspective, as the exogenous always trumps the endogenous. 5:50 AM P.S. Making coffee clarifies: If the vista in +/- unchanging, then, all my personal, own horizons are immortal as well.
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36
When we began to love each other, in my mind, I saw a room. The bedroom of an old farm house; windows open, and soft, pale, green curtains moved lazily about the sills. Light of late afternoon slipped in, whilst a faint, blue summer sky waited outside. The door to the hallway is open; the rest of the house - still. A bed is the only piece furniture in a room with wood floors and white walls. There are only sheets on the bed, old cotton sheets, heavy, limp, and cool. This room was our togetherness. Since he died, I am not in the room, and light in it is cooler. It is evening and no one is home. I am waiting at the door of the story with peaches in my hands. The door is shut, and the peaches are unripe. None of their warmth and sweetness can be smelled, their fuzz clings to them like tight new skin. When we wait patiently for things to open, we stay with them and be, and they ripen, and the door opens. I wait for the peaches and the door as they wait for me. A story through that door will show me and harm me, it is with peaches I may come through. I was a small child when my mother told me a story of peaches. When I remember it, I remember the peach tree across from our old house. Short and squat, with shining, skinny leaves; the tree crouched in the rose garden. My mother told me about the peace and bliss of heaven, and that when we went there we became angels. She told me that angels longed for the earth sometimes, and have bodies, because angels cannot taste peaches. When I taste and smell peaches now, I try to give myself over to them, to live and feel the taste of them, to not take them lightly, to not keep them foreign. The day that he died, I found a nectarine in the kitchen, and carried it with me, praying to it to keep me in the world of life, to remind me that moments of peaches are worth the pain of aliveness. Every story starts with the breaking off an indefinite number of things that have come before. To try and tell the story of Lucien from the beginning, means I will omit the stories of before, the peripheral stories which came before and bled into his, like color on wet paper. I suppose there are so many ways of telling a story. Not one will be perfect, but each is a prayer. Can you feel this? Can I make something? Are our lives commensurable? Do my words mean what your words mean? We shall see. This story, too, is a prayer. A prayer for a new house, a new tree, and a new beginning.
0
May 16, 2016
May 16, 2016 at 4:56 PM UTC
The Day Lucien Died
When we began to love each other, in my mind, I saw a room. The bedroom of an old farm house; windows open, and soft, pale, green curtains moved lazily about the sills. Light of late afternoon slipped in, whilst a faint, blue summer sky waited outside. The door to the hallway is open; the rest of the house - still. A bed is the only piece furniture in a room with wood floors and white walls. There are only sheets on the bed, old cotton sheets, heavy, limp, and cool. This room was our togetherness. Since he died, I am not in the room, and light in it is cooler. It is evening and no one is home. I am waiting at the door of the story with peaches in my hands. The door is shut, and the peaches are unripe. None of their warmth and sweetness can be smelled, their fuzz clings to them like tight new skin. When we wait patiently for things to open, we stay with them and be, and they ripen, and the door opens. I wait for the peaches and the door as they wait for me. A story through that door will show me and harm me, it is with peaches I may come through. I was a small child when my mother told me a story of peaches. When I remember it, I remember the peach tree across from our old house. Short and squat, with shining, skinny leaves; the tree crouched in the rose garden. My mother told me about the peace and bliss of heaven, and that when we went there we became angels. She told me that angels longed for the earth sometimes, and have bodies, because angels cannot taste peaches. When I taste and smell peaches now, I try to give myself over to them, to live and feel the taste of them, to not take them lightly, to not keep them foreign. The day that he died, I found a nectarine in the kitchen, and carried it with me, praying to it to keep me in the world of life, to remind me that moments of peaches are worth the pain of aliveness. Every story starts with the breaking off an indefinite number of things that have come before. To try and tell the story of Lucien from the beginning, means I will omit the stories of before, the peripheral stories which came before and bled into his, like color on wet paper. I suppose there are so many ways of telling a story. Not one will be perfect, but each is a prayer. Can you feel this? Can I make something? Are our lives commensurable? Do my words mean what your words mean? We shall see. This story, too, is a prayer. A prayer for a new house, a new tree, and a new beginning.
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8
whenever I feel the tremble start to ooze its way from my compact mind to the tips of my fingers, I immediately anticipate the fate that I have always been able to foresee whenever that familiar first jolt of an anxiety attack sails its way, like a vessel in a storm throughout my entire body heart pounds an intolerable caution lungs wheeze frigid determination with a rough friction that lightly scrapes my core with a ticklish flutter shoulders lift up into a hunch; absolutely automatic the top tray of teeth lock clenched into the bottom tray’s hold a fleet of air hisses in and out of two nostrils like a monk’s meditation capacious eyes flicker from the lid to the lash to the iris to the pupil to see everything everyone is staring everything is too intimidating to look at for longer than two seconds then, the tunnel the clearest, acute vision waters into a soft edged frame, into a pixel mud of a picture, into a black peripheral, black corners rounding in – a narrow and petty circle I use it and follow it to wherever my deepened impulse decides to take me silently contemplating, silently speculating, silently examining the fears I let my feeble self get swallowed up in.
0
Sep 3, 2012
Sep 3, 2012 at 1:42 AM UTC
panic attack
seated at the backseat with our song on repeat she reached for a stick inside the back pocket of her faded denim jeans i heard a familiar flick sound only to see a lighter on her hand silence fell upon us not knowing what to say, i glanced around trying to find an excuse not to continue to blatantly stare at her still, she is all i see through my peripheral vision savoring the smoke, letting it all fill her lungs puffing, inhaling yes, a stick could **** sooner or later if no one dares to stop her but what if she's already dying inside? or what if she's just doing this to fight the demon who made its way inside her soul? chained her heart, no plan of letting it go i may have seen her burned her throat countless times already yet, it still feels like the first time her thin lips pressed against the filter how i wish it was my lips, instead...
0
Oct 18, 2018
Oct 18, 2018 at 6:16 AM UTC
lipstick stained.
I drink in the sweet light Of the honey coloured moon as it floats high at midnight hoping it doesn't leave soon As I stare at the full moon The world falls away and I lose my peripheral vision bathing in the moon's rays Sliver beams of light That reflects off the ocean And seem to be too bright to be moonshine I began to see now understand how myths and legends of the moon began Egyptian, Aztec, Celtic and Greek Khonsu, Metzli, Elatha and Artemis And even poor Starveling with his dog and thorn bush All trying to capture the raw beauty that is the moon and it's light The rarest jewel of them all Shining bright through out the night But all attempts of personification contain to much complication to represent to simplicity of the moon So I'll stop trying to convey what I can see because no matter what I say will not match what floats above the sea
0
Jun 14, 2014
Jun 14, 2014 at 7:26 PM UTC
Moon
Vail tied to a weathering mask with a child in tow who grows swollen And swells like his mother from which he reluctantly reared his head In what was called The Cadaver Twist A ******* accident, no less No virtue in a conscience yet to breech A lesson likely learned early If only ... Paternal instinct as the peripheral responds autonomously to the bottle with intervals of grease pouring down the gullet The rain decimates in torrential strife Laying in bog known as What Once Was
0
Sep 5, 2014
Sep 5, 2014 at 4:47 PM UTC
Cerberus