"pauldeeeeee" poems
i am free like the stars and the heavens that make me be..
i am free like the blackness of night that make me see.. i am free..
i am free like the words that swim to become poems..
i am free like those people who learn to love and live in homes.. i am free..
i am free to feel and to think like those mentals who enjoi seeing shrinks..
i am free to be in pain with nothing much to gain.. i am free..
i am free to live and love again..
like the burdens that i carry knows no end.. i am free just to be.. just to be.. i am free..
i am free like when winds touch the seas to create waves..
i am free to live inside crumbling walls and live inside caves.. i am free..
i am free to write and to spit on pens and papers..
used to create isolates spaces and lie on craters.. i am free..
i am free just to be who i am.. and who i am is not as free as i want to be..
pauldeeeeee
5march2011
Jul 23, 2011
Jul 23, 2011 at 6:19 PM UTC
you walked out as easy as you came in.. i dont know you but you make me smile and grin.. like a little child getting ready to go for a spin.. i didnt want to intrude cause i know that it's a sin.. i try to throw these words in the bin.. but no matter what i do, these thoughts of you keep seeping in.. but you left without notice.. you make me lose focus.. as mesmerizing as a lotus.. you can create art just by using parts of the smarts that depart your mind and heart.. i try to keep you close, trying to find the spark.. trying to beat the shark you left in my ark.. running from this dark room.. waiting for your witty remark.. but i dont hear it.. you must have embarked for the park to plant another shark.. maybe ive lost a part of me.. but i dont need your sympathy.. all i wanted was to get to know you, really.. but all i am to you is silly.. as silly as ***** singin rockabilly.. but now you've disappeared, my mind grows weary, my eyes get teary, and my heart gets dreary.. maybe im dreaming.. maybe theres a way to wake up from the screaming.. to escape this seemingly gleaming scheme.. but things arent always what they seem.. this stream of dreams is what's keeping me in between.. so i look for a machine that can clean what ive seen.. to erase these memories.. so i can find my new queen.. i dont need someone from a magazine.. i just need you to intervene with my routine.. nothing obscene.. you just make me feel like im eighteen doped up with morphine.. youre a trip.. a high.. making me lose my grip.. feeling like im being cracked by the tip of a whip.. you make me lose my censorship, making my hip flip till i slip from this trip.. but youre gone now.. so i offer you a page from the stage of my mind.. hoping it's me you find.. not acting blind.. so lets just rewind.. i just want to get to know your mind.. and make us feel entwined..
pauldeeeeee
15mar2011
Jul 23, 2011
Jul 23, 2011 at 6:05 PM UTC
feeling it pierce my skin is a mysterious thing.. a type of pain that makes my heart sing.. it's funny what this emotion of expression can bring.. scraping my skin while all i feel is this sting.. so i lie and wait for us to start.. then i hear the machine hum.. my heart starts beating like a pounding drum.. my skin starts to feel numb.. this symbolic expression of myself in this art begins as my soul takes depart.. a temporary place where i can restart so my life wont fall apart.. this journey of pain and skin scraping keeps me sane.. accompanied by good music and mary jane.. as the pain begins to seep, my mind trickles in a drain.. washing away the heavy thoughts and the broken heart.. releasing the hate and the blame.. singing songs to keep myself tame.. with this ritual, i reclaim my creative independence.. with this artist i attendance, she looks at me to see my soul in transcendence.. slowly, this story of art begins to take shape.. this experience is more than an escape.. it is where dreams and creativity take shape.. it is where superheroes design their cape.. where love and passion dance around imagination.. this is where a poet would write a narration.. where fire and water dance in harmonious flotation.. now the pain gets my eyes in dilation.. but i know this is temporary.. for this expression of art has no expiration.. here i am ready to take the bait.. this is where i escape to less hate.. to strengthen the space where love gestates.. to have more than one reason to feel lightweight.. once in a while i find myself starting into the mirror.. looking deep within my pupils to find the meaning of my rhyme.. to find the spirit that hid with time.. do understand that these scars of art are not just for show.. they are part of the tools i use to flow.. living life each day wanting to grow.. so i implore you not to judge me till you really know; why this lifestyle thrives on being down low.. aside from the stories, these marks attack the status quo.. so there aint no way you can insult me with your stack of dough.. because these marks, these wounded stories is part of what makes me feel the glow.. so the next time you see someone with ink, dont assume you can make them feel your stink.. cause we'll be the same people who'll pull you out of your little sink.. we dont even need you to think.. all we'll do is nod, and wink..
pauldeeeeee
4apr2011
Jul 23, 2011
Jul 23, 2011 at 4:22 PM UTC
there is a diamond in the sky which i stare at.. asking the heavens to send me an informant.. a lingering soul that can guide me to experience moments so my mind wont stay so dormant.. time and again i have tried to touch that diamond in the sky.. to help me learn how to subside this battle cry.. to soften my hardening heart so i may learn to fly.. to create a reality that no amount of gold can buy.. but then again, i have never been able to reach this diamond in the sky.. my thoughts are shrouded with the clouds blinding my sight so i wont see this diamond shining in the sky.. i make a track spin and read a magazine.. but i get lost with the sound of this magdalene.. and while i prepare to light this green, i remember why this became my gasoline.. now im trying to change what ive seen.. go to to places that ive never been.. but i always end up standing, watching from where im standing.. taking each step without fear nor without looking.. feeling my way through these streets, full of color and vigor.. full of violence, strife, and pain.. the people up top has changed how they leave their stain.. leaving us in doubt and disdain.. where do i go from here? for my diamond in the sky never took my claim.. leaving stars shining to create a ripple of broken dreams and frozen chains to distract us from who we really can be.. cant you see? that those stars can never set us free.. we are trapped in a box with metal bars and broken mirrors so i will never be able to find the true me.. memories are now just passing waves in my head.. tides that sometimes wont let go till i bleed to feed this need to be freed.. my dreams now seem so far away just cause of how i arranged this deed.. never have i agreed to sign this creed.. to be locked, blinded and deafened by silence and zero tolerance.. all thats left for me is my defiance.. to keep my humility without having any vengeance.. lets give love a chance and let go of fear in advance.. let life not be a hindrance.. cause no matter what we do or where we go, we will always learn forgiveness by holding their hands.. happiness is a choice.. a choice between just thinking it or using our voice.. soon we shall all rejoice.. giving forgiveness and love to others by choice.. not by chance nor by accident.. we are free.. cause what we want and what we need is what we always see..
pauldeeeeee
11may2011
Jul 23, 2011
Jul 23, 2011 at 4:24 PM UTC
been trying.. to leave this reality called dying.. singin a tune to make me stop crying.. alot of cats tell me to move on.. to create a new reality, to paint it with new crayons.. but it doesnt happen.. all it does is dig a deeper hole.. cant move.. couldnt lift my soul.. cant find the heart you stole.. feels like a life sentence with no parole.. how is it that you've moved on so easily? each day i fight increasingly.. lookin for peace.. lookin for serenity.. so take me away from this state of mind.. to a place where everything is undefined.. where all men know that we're all intertwined.. where artists are unsigned.. no pain and strife.. just purely refined.. too aligned to be unkind.. where nothing is known, everything is undefined.. what happened to being simple? nowadays people live so sinful.. always carryin nothing but a pistol.. always creating these symbols.. so i try to finish the ink in my pen.. it's all down to writing again.. these poems that count to more than ten.. i craft words in my brain.. praying hard just so it won't rain.. these drops that fill my head with pain.. im no longer sure which drop made this stain.. these thoughts that drive me insane.. sometimes it's hard to see through this plane.. this altered domain.. where hatred and pain reign.. this isn't right, all inhumane.. im trying to obtain the skill to sustain this life that's waiting in vain..
pauldeeeeee
10mar2011
Jul 23, 2011
Jul 23, 2011 at 6:06 PM UTC
these days, i just want to disappear from view. wanting to hide from the world just to be able to follow my heart and stay true. i would see never ending skies of blue while sipping on a mid-summer morning brew. i've walked this earth without having a clue. all i had was the sense to always look for something new. to find the words that can get me away from this worldly zoo. every now and then, i hear someone knocking on my door. as i open it, i realize that who ever it was, is no more. then, i try to look for the piece of me that you tore. so there i stood, ready to settle the score. my mind is now ready to restart so i could explore. i see people sitting up to gloat. but for every sound that would float, from the rustic sound within their throats, is a groan. oh, and they moan, they moan. better were the days when man said, "to each is own." but now, we couldnt care less on what skills to hone. we tear on each others' walls like skinning a chicken to its bones. let i be the last to cast these stones. so i may observe the world till they lose all that they own. soon after, i would see everyone flee. to their kingdom out by the sea. a wind then blew out of a cloud at night, chilling me right near this huge tree. the angels, not half so happy in heaven, went to ravage this world for free. then, the old man spoke of a love stronger by far than the love of those who were older than me; of many far wiser than me. he said that neither the unhappy angels in heaven, nor the demons down under the sea, can sever the love than man can also give for free. for the moon never beams without bringing me dreams of how psychedelic life can be; and the stars never rise but i still see the bright eyes of a love that stands right by the sea. and so, as the waves ride this night-tide, i lay down by the side of countless souls by the sea. finally understanding that no matter the pain, love is the tomb that will set us free.
pauldeeeeee
13july2011
Jul 23, 2011
Jul 23, 2011 at 4:16 PM UTC
your solution is an illusion created by your minds delusion to infuse to your reality, thus forming a conclusion that leaves you in a state of confusion.. you battle for escape.. running away from the ape that ***** the very essence of your being.. now all youre seeing is a declining feeling.. an unforeseen fleeing of the self.. youve lost your lust for health and wealth.. instead you try to shut down your system, hiding in stealth.. there is much to learn and much to see from a different perspective.. not having to live for the inception you planted in your own mind without exception.. what direction do you want your life to go? a simple selection toward the perfection of your minds connection.. so rise from this deflection of thought.. these actions that cause your fair complexion be ready for a dissection.. forget the rejection.. spit out the imperfection that hinders you from having real conviction.. you can create so much just by managing your thoughts.. not by living in doubt that other people have brought.. dry those tears, let go of those fears.. live your days like having cheers with these beers.. you have so much in front of you that dont include bad careers.. those peers can steer you into a frontier that will cause you to disappear.. that giant spear on your side stops you from what you want to adhere to.. so stop creating lies in your mind, there is no escape from the reality you create.. you have to compensate to anticipate these events, learning how to dominate the state of your mind.. to be able to concentrate being straight.. dont hesitate on moving forward to generate energies that will make you feel great.. dont treat yourself as a slave to your own thoughts.. so put down the pills and the sedatives.. stop trying to escape freedom.. find reason so you wont get beaten.. your soul is free.. like you.. so just be..
pauldeeeeee
23mar2011
Jul 23, 2011
Jul 23, 2011 at 6:03 PM UTC
i want to fly high as a kite.. to see the sun shining so bright.. i **** a bowl before i take this flight.. wanting it to be a delight.. not something that gives me fright.. something so good that it makes me laugh the whole night.. i spark a jay while no ones in sight.. walking around with my imagination up in the heights.. come blaze with me.. you just might see the beauty and the peace from a little bag of trees.. cant say this isnt good.. thank god they put it in my hood.. i hit a **** where i stood.. lighting up my world like it should.. what is this world coming to? these days it's all about wars and coups.. forming units and crews.. shooting missiles while sipping on half a brew.. so i half bake a brownie and chew.. at first i didnt know what it was, but i just flew.. taking this flight that was long overdue.. didnt know what they were saying .. just a bunch of hullabaloo.. up here, i can see everything till timbuktu.. what am i trying to do? nothing.. just trying to get lit.. how about you?
pauldeeeeee
31mar2011
Jul 23, 2011
Jul 23, 2011 at 4:28 PM UTC