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cv Nov 2016
pressed against the cold bricks
outside the church,
she smiles around your lips,
her breath harsh on your face,
her scent compelling you with want;
you ravish her mouth,
thinking that maybe if you went deep enough,
you could stay inside her forever.
the drizzle comes to a stop,
and you hear nothing but the pastor saying:
Refrain from sin,
and He will let you in His Kingdom
!
paradise means nothing if i'm not with you, darling
Shaine Fraz Jul 2017
He's known to flip a bat on occasion
it's blatant
-- radiating cool kid,
a mutant?

holy cardinal like:
who bare rib?
fresh cut new did,
said -- who is this?

slow tread, wrangled thee
there's a 4x4 in his 20/20,
he asked -- “double play?”
the kid ran away

kept pace enough for super stardom
baring set backs
he's set,
lack the vision but he's starting running back,

ran back to the house of worship,
***** housed adolescence,
children they're just victims
with an unnatural talents,

ravenous,
an unnatural predator,
apex,
believed in --

shot blocks and safe ***, fingers latex,
washed him from his feet to my index,
He's speechless,
forgiven,

it's blatant,
coverage hidden,
and what's written is
-- this too shall pass,

as he quoted scripture,
his hand on the right shoulder,
Nearer,
he gets nearer,

meter,
100 meter,
still not older or sober,
And too young to know what ******* was

but,
one 'hell' of an athlete,
sadly
his pastor praised his ministries,
monstrosities.
© 2017 by S Fraz All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission of S Fraz
I had once been in a church to drink a beer
Behind the pastor seat
A risk I took with no fear
Ends me a back seat.

I wonder who reported me
For I was sure all doors were locked against me
I was sure the gate keeper didn't notice me
I guess the walls have eyes
Oh, maybe holy spirit really exist
But why did he have to show up then
I was in the same spot sweating in prayers
Crying rain seeking for a divine help
Nobody reported me then
Is this not a case of betrayal?

People, they just love being messengers of negativity
When I was sweeping the altar, dusting this same pastor seat nobody shouted my activities.

Wait a minute, what was I thinking
Why should I carry a sin in a bottle
Straight to a supposing holy temple.
Holy? Is a place I once caught cockroaches making out holy?
The venue where our tithes and offerings are being pocketed by the church hierarchy still holy?

Even as that, I don't suppose to join the crowd to pollute the Lord's place
Truly I deserve even behind the back seats, yes I deserve the shame.
Just using this poem to paraphrase how fate work, how our grace are not the same, people can be doing lots of bad things but the day you try it might be the day you will be exposed and prosecuted as a scapegoat.
There is a room as old as war
without a window, or even a door.
This room is none but the smoky den
of too many torn and immortal men.

Through Brazen Bull they'd stay unslain
but men are strongly swayed by pain,
thus here are the most unholy tales-
for hidden within was a cat o' nine tails.

The man who found it holds it still,
whose morphing face appears at will
to mimic a president, parent, or pastor,
though his name is always, "Master".

No unarmed man was ever free
but they call this democracy
for everybody has a say
who walks their Master's way.

Most men fall to Master's feet
and swear; Declaring their defeat.
From his wrath they shall be saved
so long as they'll remain enslaved.

A few will wrestle and risk the knot-
most will fall, but some will not.
Just give the clock a little spin,
and Master's changed his face again.
Spenser Bennett Jul 2016
Giving in to making small talk chatter.
Collateral atoms scatter over my head
Perfect pitter pattered patterns.

Behind my eyes grey matter
That feels in tatters
After it burned out the rafters.

Is my skull getting fatter?
Madder than your favorite hatter.
And I won't get an ever after.

Never been a dodge drafter
I meant a draft dodger. (cue the laughter)

Who makes taffy taffer?
And who made Daffy dafter?
Bugs and carrots for my Satur-
Day morning napper.

Paint splattered pancake batter.
Knife and fork clatter.
Belly never felt so dapper.

If I had to choose I choose Venonat, er
I meant you Pikachu! (What a Knee slapper!)

Always been a little scrapper
Even when I was bigger batter.

And I don't know no pastor
But I got the spirit moving faster.

Probably should've been a future rapper
But I could never be a present wrapper
And I'm more wrapped up in the past four
Years that were snatched by time snatchers.

But now I'm bored by this rhyme planner
So I'm gonna go get a snack or
Two.
Trcfour Sep 2014
A man he wrote the book
A book for all and none
About a life spent leaning
Leaning towards the sun

In search of all - a greatness 
His life a distant run
A battle for a giant
He reaches for the sun

On a field of giants
Merely flesh and blood
He disregards the mismatch
And stretches for the sun

Life the fiercest battle
A war that’s never won
Commits his life to reaching
Reaching for the sun

He asks the aged pastor    
Disillusioned as the nun
Confides in self & marches on
Onward towards the sun

Saw life and fortune a lady
Took a chance with love
Traded breast and beauty
Traded it for the sun

His only life - a sacrifice
A gamble for a goal
With faith & strength he pushes on
He strains his empty soul

Tried to be a good man
Emulates Christ the son
Grounded broken wings he *****
Tragically towards the sun

To advance the course of history
Alexander, Caesar, the ***
A martyr for the western world
He reaches for the sun

To hold the mighty leviathan
With great to catch a cod
Born with a head of a  *******
He aspires to be a god

And oh his quest does beckon
Failure certain done
What else can he do
He reaches for the sun

To god he clings his anchor
Sworn service to God and Son
Hopelessly he learns
Leaning towards the son
Drafted September 1990
Universal Thrum Jul 2018
I'm leaving Carly's place after an all day ****** that had me convinced that paradise lay in the legs of Nate's sister wearing a unicorn onesie, and as they put on Sgt. Peppers and lay there the ****** freudian passion play overcame my capacity for archetype observation and I proceeded to walk around the room thanking everybody in that space and time for the gift of starting the **** with Nate's sister, the beat changed and they turned on me and said I needed to give her space, they all became timeless aliens traveling through time to **** and I was one of them coming online in a loop, and as long as I stayed awake I would remember and not be *****. I sat cross legged holding my friend sams hands, looking into his eyes, saying aloud we're creating the universe constructing all as the three smartest people of all time, forever throughout we died but never died, as long as we could stay awake, they all wore red and I couldn't trust any of them, I fired off mad questions and demanded to know the secrets of the universe and why woman wasn't the answer, I called up to nate to bring her down to me, and generally became a raving lunatic
      after some time of sam being soulmate and accepting him forever as my lover self same image, and also calling him ugly as im ugly, then channeling Brittany through him and countless other regressive exercises, we started inhaling nitrous gas, and the world became one stretched out moment
       and I kept calling out before, all the way up, as it were the secret spell with a handshake to fool the devil
         I thought Nate a mad spirit habituating this plane as a long gone failed hero plagued by the madness of wanting to **** his sister and forced to watch all his friends be aware of their own lust, so that pushed him into clowning, which he is an expert, that primal lust took me up and id taken a holy mandate to **** this beautiful creature and ascend to paradise,
when they slipped her upstairs they left her rainbow onesie, i felt heaven become another step remote and my faith tested, I resolved to be the last awake and never die, I walked up to the attic, and saw the light beaming from the window


            Sam dropped me off at the press grill so I could eat some grub,
then I met up with Tyler for a drink somewhere while he told me his story of meeting a guy in a skyline chilis bathroom drunk at 3 am, he said the guy was standing at the ****** but wasn't *******. Ty asked him if he was done and the guy put Ty in a chokehold with his pants down, according to Ty the cops came in and he was putting clean shots into the guys mug, he is contemplating leaving town before they can indict him for felonious assault, I told him Canadas nice but Venezuela doesn't have an extradition treaty, come to think of it neither does Cuba, but Ty is too proud for that probably
   anyways we meet Carly being a dancing beauty in a high falootin joint with string lights called Julep, the only reason to mention it is because as we were leaving a guy was bent over the rail vomiting and looking wretched he noticed us watching him as we smoked our cigarettes off to the side and immediately decided that he wasn't some kind of side show freak to be gawked at, he became threatening in the most base and pathetic way a human can, and his bride came to tell us to ******* with her father, father of the bride shaking my hand, we eventually left that scene and walked to Oddfellows where I saw Sam Cohan and he bought me a beer, good chap, we talked until I stepped toward Carly, Tyler and a fine looking strange *****
I touched Carly and received an awkward unmemorable introduction to the strange *****. She walked away but lurked and locked eyes with me as the evening rolled on
later Carly told me that the girl demanded to meet the guy who looks like Heath Ledger, a sure fire ****, so Carly is grinding on my **** and my backs to the bar and Tyler already got me a beer, and there I was, a pirate king
I took Carly out after the lights came on, and was going to give Tyler the run of my place, he disappeared into the night and I showed Carly my favorite smelling tree, still in bloom late July, we almost ****** on my car, until I went back to her place and we ****** until $430, rising at noon, I left telling her we had an hour to get ready to journey to Findlay for Jim's wedding
I showered and brushed my teeth and collected my suit and put it on without a tie
I picked up Carly and set out upon the road, but made a quick stop for a bite
two deaf guys ordered in front of me and the kid working the register said my glasses were cool, along the way I was telling Carly the story of how I wore make up for the first time to a middle school dance, and she said she had to *****, I didn't believe her at first until she tried to stick her head out the window half way rolled down, I managed to get it down all the way and wet streaks of human gut waste caught the wind and splattered my window
we pulled over and I went to get her some napkins to clean herself off as I squeeged the car, she tried to wipe the window with the napkins, sweet girl. The wedding started at 3:30 and we didn't have more than five minutes to spare, she found her vape pen 20 minute out as Heather started to send me worried messages, as I was set to read a passage, little did I know that I was leading off the whole affair, I arrived and was quickly rushed to meet the mothers and have a boutonnière pinned to my lapel , the women all looked stunning and I congratulated each in turn as they shoved a program in my hand, Tiffany took me through the drill, we walked up to the stage and took our places on the bench, looking out at the beautiful shining faces,


I was the only one not wearing a tie, but thats not important, I saw Jim and embraced him with all the love I could muster, he looked at me and said that he knew I would make it, that he knew that he just had to trust the flow, and I would appear in the nick of time, the pastor threw his hands in the air and welcomed the families, the mothers lit candles, and then Tiffany looked at me and said that it was my turn, I stepped up to the Beema and gazed out over the crowd, trying to summon something clever, nothing good came to mind and so I opened my mouth and said, "a reading from Genesis" and then put every fiber of my being into reminding the room that it is Gods will that we be fruitful and multiply. I'm told I slammed my hands down for emphasis and let out a hearty amen, a man's man's amen, and turned and took one giant step off the podium with two baby stairs, I gracefully flowed into the bench having averted a complete embarrassment, and then tactfully left the stage with Tiffany after her read.   Jim looked at me after mine with a nod, and I said the word strong, that read cemented my status as a star of the party, and the mojo flowed, I was called the cash guy by the hotel, for checking in as Atlantis Grosshammer, $200 depost, we drank and danced and an old lady came to me to say that I have a beautiful soul
I thanked Jim's father for helping to create my friend, and danced around bottles
the cake was good
I told Carly I always catch the brides garter, at every wedding I've ever been. I saw Jim's men assemble for his toss, I let the men come and put myself in the mix, Jim turned his back and had a misfire,
the temptation to collect it passed all of us by thankfully, and he was set to fire again, it came to me and I snatched it out of the air, cold as ice I walked off the floor only with eyes for Carly not even saying a word to Jim, I put that thing on my head and went back to Jim threw him on my shoulders and swung him around like we were in a broadway musical
two kids playing in the street,
he said its the best moment, and so it goes
M C Jul 28
Take me to the altar and do as you please.
Even on my knees
I can love you as the man I am.
If you alter my person plan to pay fees.
Blood lines down my back
each a token of luck.
The purpose of this poem
is ruckus and ****
but whenever I get close
I think of the people I've ****** up.
Pigs love to get stuck
in a sty and shuck
while cows graze any green pasture.
My past closes in faster
to the brim of sin.
I can't last as a pastor.
Casting my eyes while preaching some line.
It's my own downfall as I bind and entwine.
We are powerless to escape our nature in kind.
Pray to a fate blurred
then unearth what we find.
Naptural Mermaid Jul 2018
Would I be wrong to call this a blessing?
As his fine self continues professing
“Hear me dear Lord, I plea
This is my testimony”
Distracted by sinful thoughts
Praying I don’t get caught
I felt his gaze as he licks his lips
Yearning, for I know he wants to take a sip
“Let us pray”, the pastor cries
As I fall to my knees
Lord, please wash away the vulgarity
Sweating because we were in this very position last night
“Let the church say ‘Amen’” , the pastor cries
As I stand tall in sin
He hugs me
As my heart races from within
******, I think I’ll just blame this on Christian Mingle
oliver o Jun 2018
i miss the sadness
i miss the home that never was
the beautiful you never thought you were

where has your pretty gone
who’s wearing your flowered dress now
whose lips are your boyfriends kissing
who could’ve known this was to come

i miss your father’s pride
when you gave him a reason to be sober
now all you are is disappointment
another unlucky occurrence for him to sleep with on the couch
his favourite drinking buddy

i miss church
i miss the red the pastor turned you
the blood running to your holy cheeks
when the congregation applauded
at the fact that you would burn for this
that this secret would be the end of you
the ***** that came up in that bathroom
the god that frowned upon the smell

i miss the way boys used to look at you
when you were something to be desired
when you made others feel more than just confused
when you weren’t an inconvenience to love
you’d rather your innocence be stolen for being beautiful
than for being unwanted
i suppose you pick your poison

i miss the way you looked
every night you cried
the colour mascara makes when it meets blood
like drugstore lipstick
at least there was something gorgeous
something romantic about it
the way the moonlight made your bones stick out
it was something boys could fall in love with

pretty girl
why would you ruin yourself like this
happy girl
how couldn’t you see it for yourself
you were a trophy
your future said husband
it said children
it said the life we want for you
forget your own

you were not happy
but how can you learn to be now
that place that played safe haven
at least, was warm

you are not sure if you miss the sadness
you simply know
this world wants you to
Tres Tacos Al Pastor
Not a Tuesday but
A Wednesday

Oh
Holy
Guacamole
****
Day
Camel
Toe

Wow

I kissed him
I kissed him on my 30th birthday
My eyes were closed and it was my Very first
1st

My first time with a man
And he smelled like no woman
I'd ever smelled before

It made me think
Of white
Polar
Bears
Cause
He was
White and older but

His eyes twinkled
He looked
NHS

Just
Like
Jolly
St. Nick
White beard trim

But big bellied
And my age hit
By three multiples

-7-

But we all
Must have
A first

Mine was just
A little bit different than
Yours was

I'm a never
****
So
That's
One
Difference

Then
Came
This
Poem

May 17, 2019
My 30th birthday

Hypnotism

I don't know which spiraling circle
Was the the last straw
Or if there was
A Needle
At All
But
I'm still
Falling deeper
Into the bottomless
Golden sea of broken glass
Until end turns time for one more .
.
.
Taco
#holyinstant
#holyguacamole
#legobatman
...
The daily special
Spiderham
...
Neverland
...
The Waitress
Othon Aug 7
Tu me salvaste num beco sem saída
Mas o beco sem saída nunca saiu de mim
E eu percorri perdido pelas prisões de minha vida
Fitando o sangue das estrelas porvir no pó de cocaína de minha desilusão imperfeita
Estrela ferida no céu ferido, morte vivida
Minúscula verdade de vidro quebrado de meu coração
Sol quebrado igreja ambulante pastor maligno do reino de sua verdade podre
Eu quero voar nas vestes de meu ser colorindo o horizonte do impossível
Foder a musa malígna de meu destino injetar nas veias os espamos de deus
Louco infinito não dito maldito na flor de cinzas de um céu de ponta cabeça avesso ao inverso além ponto final
Eu quero ver o infinito num luar de pedra fumar meu coração num balanço ao precipício
Voar na profecia indefinida da paranoia de um deus louco e ******>Enterrar meu eu na tumba do eterno segredo escondido nas dimensões do caos ser nada nem ninguém e fumar a flor de lótus num monte de sucatas
Repousar no sonho de um gigante enquanto um bruxo mastiga seu coração com a minha vingança nas mãos de meus desejos irrealizáveis
Mastigar todos os raciocínios como um chiclete enquanto pulo por entre abismos
Paraíso vazio cheio de fogo queimando de uma alma inalcançável enquanto o inferno escorre sangue de meu cérebro
Ser carregado em velocidade como vultos dançantes nas sombras do nada e ser a síntese do nada e o contrário da síntese além do contrário
Mutilar a minha contradição encarnada sob a chuva da lágrima dos anjos
Tudo que temos é tão paradoxal
E eu encontrei estrelas no meu algodão doce
Que gosto tem? O gosto de ter visto tudo e nada saciado
Nnaemeka Mokeme Aug 2018
What do you know me as?
Some know me
as a doctor,
some know me
as a pastor,
some know me
as a poet,
an author,
Others know me
as a Naturopath,
Most know me
as a herbalist,
Some others know me
as an alchemist,
some know me
as a mystic,
some know me
as a beloved hierophant,
a high priest,
Some know me
as a metaphysician,
Some know me
as a crisis counselor,
some as a
human rights activist,
some as a martial artist,
some don't even
know me,
I'm different things  
to different people.
My life is complex
and dynamic,
and very interesting
with incessant activities
that surrounds it,
debonair and a teetotaler.
But with all the
complicated complexities,
I am profoundly so simple,
amiable and easy to placate,
with a great sense of humor,
purposeful mingled with
a no nonsense attitude.
I know who I am.
©2018,Emeka Mokeme. All Rights Reserved.
God ******
mercenaries
vipers
hypocrites

The Lamb of God
sold into the marketplace
led into the slaughter

The Love and Heart of God
now a harlot
for the desires and pleasures of perverse men
--honestly, I have more respect for a Lady of the Night, than religious ****** who traffic in holiness

The Spirit of God
miracles transformed
into entertainment and to rake in filthy lucre

The Banner of God
leads an army of hate

The Pastor of God
exiles a member of Christ’s body

The sacred Writings of God  
twisted into a message of
judgement, guilt, intolerance

I am dismayed
disturbed
disappointed
disgusted
… I have seen too much

The Heart of God bleeds, tears fall from His eyes

How long will this go on?

Is there vengeance and a special place of punishment reserved for those who commit such travesty?
For those who trample on the Blood of the Savior?

--Serge Banderet
So I go to this "meditation class" on meetup.  I get this lecture about how meditation will help me be one with the Universe, etc...
Oh and by the way, there's a $180 fee.  Or the many sob stories I have heard at church and how sacrificial giving is "spiritual".  Even found this sales pitch when buying a spell from a witch...  Greed seems to be an equal opportunity disease.  It sickens me.
Lost Soul Mar 5
I....I can't breathe
It all started when my feet hit the floor
I walked out of my room and heard whispers
You no longer look at me anymore
With every step I took
I wanted to cry out
My legs just shook
I went back to my room
I can't decide whats better
a coffin or this tomb

I feel nothing... absolutely nothing

I cried it all out the night before
So I sit at my computer and write a little note
This time my words won't be ignored
As I write my heart beats faster
DOES ANYONE CARE!! DOES NO ONE NOTICE?!?
Look.... I want to apologize to our pastor
You'll  stand up on stage
to say some half *** message
While my mother cries
as you read the rehearsed words on your page

How many people showed up?
Or did people stay home
because I was a **** up ?
Did he come?.. see he was my last straw
Did he look at my casket and wished he would've  texted me back
when I reached out vulnerable and raw
Did he cry?
I hope he did
cause he gave up on me
so i figured, why even try
I'm sorry to my sister
The pain got worse..I stopped talking
every word was a tongue twister
I prayed for the end...and it came
My cries echoed off the walls
To say my death was an accident
would be just to avoid the blame

Yes I believe God was with me that night
The demons left when he came down to hold me
His tears washed away the hurt
As my lungs finally gave up the good fight
He spared my soul ...well what little was left
I'm in the clouds now
Wishing my life wasn't a victim of theft
This is a poem that I wrote based on an actual suicide note I wrote on 10/25/18. Thankfully I'm in a better place now but i still felt the need to share this.
I lost faith in my religion and wander.
      Who can forgive my sins? Who can cast my
      demons from me? Who can bless me at death?
      Can I never be buried in sacred ground?

      Now my faith is in pills and ***** and soft
      places with perfume and happy endings.
      My church is a bar with a pastor named Tia.
      She speaks in tongues with a snake that bites.

      Her venom is the sweetest thing I've tasted.
      She brings me to my knees and I bow to her.
      I drink her blood and eat her in communion.
      I wake calm with my savior. I found my faith.
On the fifth day, in Vegas,
A pastor invited me
To a wedding
With Five Mormon Wives!
At the temple at Sunrise
Trying to recruit me...

Four ****** chicks
3 stolen bikes
Paid utilities
And one black bird shrieking
On a bare winter tree..

This Fifth of December.2019.
Lost Soul Aug 8
I'm spirialing faster and faster
I need to rid the demons that are taking over my head
Please call over a priest or a pastor!
DeNts dEnTs...three dents in my car
If only I looked behind me
My mind had traveled too far

One bite...just one bite
I want to eat but my brain always puts up a fight

One, two, three,oh God theres more,four five, six
STOP COUNTING!!...the lines....red lines
I cant hold it back anymore!


Drip,drip, drip...tears stream down my face
I shouldve been there for you
I was the one to put u in this place

The world is black, the world is good
Cover my eyes and rock in place
Just like an unstable person would
Tap...tap..tap
Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap
It's not working, I need my headphones
I open the plastic ....the sharp plastic
Pressing my finger to the point
The pains feels good.....

I put on my headphones
"They are empty, they are worn
Tell me what we built this for
On my way to something more
You're that one I can't ignore!!!
Mmm...
I'm gonna miss you
I still care
Sometimes I wish we never built this palace but real love is never a waste of time."

Close my eyes and listen .....
But they're are still pouring
Through tears is the only way the world finally glistens

Red ....red...I see red
I see blue eyes
I dig my nails into my thighs
to remind myself I'm not dead

My 1 yr old niece crys
and for a brief second I'm out of my head and I can actually stand up and try

Try to be normal, try to hold it in
But when I am alone once more
My depression once again lets panic and anxiety come in
...tap...tap....tap....tap.
Jing Xi Lau Sep 2
Our forever is built on,
A temporary palace,
With paper-thin walls,
Our bed a foam mattress.

Our forever is sprawled across,
The stained carpeted floor,
Beneath our ***** laundry,
Messes we choose to ignore.

Our forever is cracked into,
Every omelet and French toast,
Served with a glass of cold juice,
And kisses on the nose.

Our forever is written on,
Every inch of your midnight skin,
Each stubble and razor bump like Braille,
A love language I've never seen.

Our forever is tested,
By time zones and distance,
Will our palace walls crumble,
Or stand in defiance?

Our forever is put on trial,
By people who shouldn't bother,
A xenophobic aunt,
And an uncle who's a pastor.

Our forever is cursed,
By a father's daily prayer,
Wrapped in his own infidelity,
The quiet naysayer.

Our forever is assembled,
From sticks and stones hurled at us,
Will it endure hurricanes and haters,
Or is it just a temporary palace?
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