"painlessness" poems
My human body
stings of age
ache and pain
My human bone
breaks
My human strength
decays
My human form
twists, deforms
courts mirrors
My anxious nerves
burn
My fragile heart
stops
Make my limb
Make my life long
Take my parts
Make me evolve
make my limb
make my life long
make my heart
beat, eternal
I long for painlessness
Bless this beautiful ship I control,
but I would trade the ephemeral
flesh, bone, blood and marrow
to the first back alley broker
of cheap plastics I meet
Oct 25, 2017
Oct 25, 2017 at 8:29 PM UTC
Before i close the chapter to these names
only god knows how much i want to love them
as i am
and now
i just dont care if my friends would say
until the whispering wind follows me
and say
you are cowardly running away from the reality
because that is all i see
as a way out
and i know how wicked it is
i dont care if the nowhere's night
needles of 13 degree celcius
would poke me into the core
and seize all painlessness
i dont care if its winter
would **** my soul with its negative
i wont moan
if i cant find my favorite mist of morning breeze
maybe i'll just find another kind of suffocation there
i wont be wearing my favourite blouse in the lace
but just a plain sweater instead
i wont moan
i promise myself i wont
nothing else than i could wish
please just grant my wish
that no one from my past remember me
cause in this small town
id rather fade away from minds
so the frets and laughs of us
wouldnt collide
as the way you hate it so much
Oct 5, 2013
Oct 5, 2013 at 4:57 AM UTC
*I live with a pain greater than love can bare,
But I look around and it seems nobody cares.
I live without sustenance of some proper lot,
But I have nothing more to need
For painlessness is not.
Life is cruel some say but others have never seen another way.
Life is pain some think, but really it's pleasure mixed with ink.
I have seen myself only once in pain so great I couldn't live,
I have a wish I could have sometimes known
What some just cannot give.*
I hope I understand, Nicole.
Apr 30, 2015
Apr 30, 2015 at 5:58 PM UTC
I don't think they know..
How much it hurts to be me.
To haul the cross of others sins.
To be weighed down by the strain of others emotions.
I would rather drown just to keep them breathing.
Feeling like I am sacrificing my own self,
for the painlessness of others.
Never expecting recognition or gratitude,
Or anything else in return.
Maybe just some acknowledgement,
that I'm hurting too.
(maybe even more than you)
Dec 4, 2018
Dec 4, 2018 at 6:46 PM UTC
**** you. i hate your stupid ******* face. you left me and i fell apart. i am a crumbling mess of a man and you just keep on being you, making music and drawing and being happy with your new ******* boyfriend. you probably tell him he's perfect too. what a ******* lie. i should have spit those hollow words back at your feet. you hurt me so bad my body revolted against my mind and all i do anymore is fight away the panic and anxiety of being me. i have new pills now, valume, effectsor and citalopram make up my new life.
i've bottled my anger until it made me pass out and puke but now, in this moment of painlessness, i just want you to know that you ****
and i love you. i really, really do... but who the **** even cares. ****
Aug 28, 2012
Aug 28, 2012 at 1:12 AM UTC
Touch –
An act that’s been corrupted
Even through clothes -
Your 2nd skin
Yes,
I am
Presumptuous
Crossing a barrier
Erected by
The tyranny
Of a false decorum
We don’t touch that which
We fear, distrust, hate
So I touch you,
Your smooth unscarred arms,
Hug your broad
Sometimes slumping shoulders
As I tell you that
You remind me of my
Niece, the one in Vegas
Who danced
For her supper;
My nephew,
Kind, clever, innocent,
And dead.
Arrest me
For touching
Your face to allay
My fears; nightmare
Dreams of you sprawled
On some ***** 8X8, gas station
Bathroom floor
Searching your dreams
For the money, the needle,
The power to control
Your future
I can only give you
One key
A book
With hopes
That your 3rd grade
Self has not
Been forsaken and
You can read
I can’t teach you
What my fears
Teach me
Everyday
The news rings out
Pictures of lifeless
Black Bodies carried
From the filthy 8X8s
Potential men & women
Who’ve flunked
Their assignments
In search of ease,
Acceptance and
Painlessness
How strong are you?
My fears fall flat
Against the bathroom walls
That have touched your history
A history from which
Only you can
Draw on
That 8X8 cell
Strength
or
Despair
By Gwen Davis-Feldman © 2016
Sep 10, 2016
Sep 10, 2016 at 8:59 AM UTC
Sounds of uprooted affection
The hands of time
Take their signs to post them
On the faces
Of lost hope
A sincere apology
To no one
For sincerity
Wavers like the white flag
Upon the battlefield
Apologies
Come and go
Are said and spread
Like
Friends
Neighbors
Parents
Lovers
The stinking dead
Language of our
Contemporaries questions
Whether I even belong
Here at all
Was I ever here?
Or was I ever there?
Was I an illusive memory
Some people
Can't seem to forget?
Guitar strings she wears
As a reflected dress
Amplifiers of America
Reverberate through her
Angelic straight spine
A question
An answer
A query
No solution
Nodding to the
Television as the whites
Of my eyes splinter &
What I once was
Lays upon the
Clear blue drift
Burning skin that
Covers all of me
The fire was hot
But why was I caught
In something I thought
Would only be stopped?
Rules & regulations rear
Like a spanish bull at noon
The customers are here
Entertainers ready their spoons
Blankness of verse
Painlessness of death
Forgetting that yes
One day I'll have my rest
Apr 11, 2012
Apr 11, 2012 at 3:04 AM UTC
Embrace me oh love
For I know not the feeling
Of warmth
nor arms on my back
Just hold me my love
for long have i
lost the mem'ry of
painlessness
senselessness
carelessness
relentless...
eyes on me my love
rest them on mine
that i might see care
and oh that you might kiss me
for so have i longed
the sweet greet
of grazing lips
so fondly
found only
in minstrels sung----
that of a swan's song.
so if your love is
as your tongue doth say
so must your love be
and shown in love's ancient way...
demand the world to stop
as you summon the stars
and let them mingle
in the same sky as the sun's
oh love that you'd show me love
that i've heard and neved seen once.
and leave me alone then love...
since i know not of what happens
afterward.
Jun 2, 2018
Jun 2, 2018 at 1:51 AM UTC
I tore my heart out
Though I can still feel how it beats
I wanted to feel no more pain
As I lie still in defeat
To no longer feel good or bad
Was painlessness really worth it?
To no longer feel happy or sad
I don’t know if it’s really a merit
I try to put my heart back in
But my body no longer accepts
My body is cold, heartless
It sees it as a foreign object
My body fights to live
When my mind has given up
It threw away my heart
Without pain you cannot love
Oct 20, 2018
Oct 20, 2018 at 10:39 PM UTC