aankhen padhna aata mujhe agar,
bolne na deti tujhe ek bhi shabd.

jaan leti kya
jo dil mein hai,
jo dimaag mein hai.

aur duriyon ko
kareebi ka naam dene ki
mohlat hi na aati.

kahi phas gyi toh?
galat jagah, galat logo ke beech
agar nikal na paayi toh?

sochne wali baat kuch aisi—
dekhi zindagi, mili unsabse
gaate rehte ye woh geet
ki kaise, kahan se shuru hui kahani.
ab keh dene ke liye hai toh kaafi;
par kya matlab, kya hai kuch azaadi?

ek darr rehta hai, har waqt,
seene mai aise daba hua sa
ki kahin dikh na jaye kisiko,
koi padhna le.
padd gyi pyaar mai aur nikla woh galat?
kardiya kuch jo nahi karna tha; kho baithi zindagi par hakk?
har cheez mai, saans lete hue,
galti se gehri leli aur bhool gyi kaisi aur kyu bharni ye aas.
kho baithi khudko iss duniya mai, kisi aur ke paas?
toh sambhalne kon aayega?
log toh chor dete na saath?
kuch anhoni hojaye, toh lelete ek kadam
peeche, hamesha peeche—
jis raaste aaye the, nikal jaate darwaaza band krke.

bachta kon?
mai, galtiyan, aur woh khamoshi
jo kehti, dheere se, yaad dilati.
yahi hota hai, jab chahkar kareeb aajate hai aanjaan saath.

gehraiyaan kaisi, jinme dubte hue mann lagta hai;
woh khauf, kaha, kisise dil lagane deta hai?
kabhi legaya woh phir, wapas na aaya mudke.
toh bikhre hue kaise rehna hai, ye kon samjhayega mujhe?

jaan se anjaan jo hojaye—
sochne wali baat:
kaise kaise bikhar sakte;
itne saare tareeke, aur wahi purani raat.

sukoon kaha milta hai?
agar intzaar karti rahi toh chalke aayega mere darwaaze tak?
aur mohabbat? dosti? yaari? woh rishte jo bachpan se saath?
unka kya?

jaate jaate rehjate
kuch sapne hai mere bhi.
bass kabhi lagta woh bhi khayali pulao toh nahi.
samajhti nahi, jaldi.
rehti hoon khwabon mai—
kya sach, kispar yakeen?
nahi aata karna, toh na bolpati kya hai dil mein.
thodi ajeeb si hoon;
darti bhi hoon, lekin ladd bhi leti hoon.
bhaagti hue bhi, wapas wahi aakar rukti—
jisse bachkar bhaagi thi.
shayad waqt, waqt sambhal le.

shayad yahi chaabi uss darr ki zanjeer ki;
waqt ke saath, shayad lagna hi band hojaye.

par phir ek choti awaz,
kahi dil ki,
ki aise waqt sab kuch theek hi kar deta.
toh darr hota hi kyu?
aur darr rhega hi nahi,
toh zindagi ka mauka chuna hi kyu?

agar ye waqt chalta chala gya
aur mai reh gyi toh—
kya kabhi karpaungi khudko maaf?

sambhalna khud ko hi hai;
toh kyu banaya ye dil aur kisi aur ke saath rehne ki aas?
ye khwaish jo dedi mujhko—
dekhti hoon unko jo rehte khush, lagte khush;
jiske bhi saath **, lagte hai ek doosre ke liye.
par kya—
kya chun sakti hoon mai kabhi?
dhund sakti hoon, ya band darwaze ke peeche koi intzaar krke, karega ek din darkhwast?

ummeed to humein bhi thi,
ki hamara likha padhne wale honge kaafi,
par kahan — koi chahta?
likh du shayari agar, kahan kisi ko hai raas aata.

likhne se kuch banne tak ka safar,
maine bhi chaha,
par dekhu jab kisi ko
padhte hue,
sochti *** — kya ye chahein padhna mujhe?

aur jo maine likha,
woh toh kabhi pohonch hi nahi paaya,
jiske liye tha, us tak se pehle hi
usne raasta badal diya.

aur mera raasta yahi tak tha,
ab likhna — ummeed ke liye ki koi padhe,
khareede meri woh kitaabe jo padi hui kahin.
ummeed par duniya kayam hai magar,
iss baar shayad, shayad duniya ke saamne mai jhuk kar khadi,
ki likhungi toh apne liye.

aur agar kahin kisi ko mil jaye
padi hui meri koi bhi kitaab,
toh bas ummeed yahi, ki woh phek na de,
rakh de wapas, bhale laa kar de wapas.
phekna nahi — kyunki har ek shabd mai ***,
aur jo likha, uska har ek zariya meri zindagi ki dor se bandha.

todna nahi.

padhne wale nahi mile toh kya,
likhna toh nahi chhod sakti.
aur shayad padhte bhi unko hi,
jinki jaanne wale bohot, mohabbat karne wale bohot.

aur koi aarzoo?
ek aur khwaish —
bas padh le ye tu, aur mil jaye mujhe meri khushi wali.

bikne ke liye likhna,
kya ghera bandi.
shabd-kosh hi nahi mere paas,
toh phir kaisi tukbandi.

bolne mai aati sharm,
nahi chahti kehna,
mat khareed jo bhi maine likha.
bas padh ke bata de, ban ja ek mohra.

chahti *** duniya dekhe — lekin parde ke peeche se,
bahar nahi dikhna,
nahin hi banna mujhe koi katputla.