"ownself" poems
*I always wanted to be a superhero when I was a kid!
Always had a childish craving for it.
◆
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Now,
I am a superhero...my superhero.
Saving and defending my ownself.
Coz' during the troubled times,
No one rescues...its just one being ...standing alone, against all odds.
I wish they had given me one chance,
Just one...
Not to be the hero...*
May 30, 2014
May 30, 2014 at 2:19 PM UTC
"In a mad world, only the mad are sane"
Clearly stated by K. Akira.
Scary!
What is freedom?
How close is it to insanity?
Scary!
Is that a freedom when one has to lose peace of mind? Is that a freedom where finally one has to ask ownself, who am I? And may regret what I have become. Is that a freedom where you search for the thousand Suns when you know one is enough? Is that a freedom where you have to sell the soul to exist a new time? Freedom is questionable.
Never ask that freedom when you are not ready for. Never ask that freedom where you don't belong. Never ask that freedom where finally one has to shed tears. Never ask that freedom where foundation of life ends. Isn't it insanity, freedom beyond control? And you may have observed where weeds florish, lotus thrives.
Balanced freedom is conscious state of being where no outer stimuli distracts, and one could flourish. Freedom in any form is always neutal, but the person who execute it, could be wrong. And forgive me if it is illogical, Earth revolving around it's axis is universal example of how much freedom one needs.
What is freedom?
How close is it to insanity?
As the saying goes, your freedom to swing your fist ends just where my nose begins.
Yes, should I repeat that?
Reasonably never ask the insane, what freedom is. At that instant they will justify everything, where they are always right.
It will be scarier that time.
Thus freedom itself is never the issue, for what cause it is exercised, is.
Nothing more.
Apr 10, 2020
Apr 10, 2020 at 11:13 AM UTC
I am my own boss,
I listen to my ownself.
I don't care if the people talk behind my backs,
I don't care if people throw away my ideas.
I know my worth,
I know what I'm capable of,
I know that if I just hold on,
I will reach my goal.
I am my own CEO,
I am not just a girl,
but I'm a woman with big dreams, big goals, and big plans.
In the end,
You'll see,
how I will push you behind,
and wear a crown on my head.
May 4, 2020
May 4, 2020 at 11:34 PM UTC
feelin lazy today,
so you get what you get,
turn the page
move on
learn from your mistakes
be brave
face your fears
footloose and fancyfree
don't run with scissors
smile
stay a while
catch more flies with honey
wrong way turn back
a stitch in time saves nine
when i was your age
no rhyme or reason to it
high road or low road
polly want a *******
click, click, boom
first past the post
i 'm just a smiling sunbeam
barrel of monkeys
to thine ownself be
thank you
what doesn't **** you
hand in the cookie jar
never seen the like
flat out like a lizard drinking
not happy jan!
take a bex and have a good lie down
sunshine and daffodils
slip, slop, slap, put on a hat
life passes by in the blink of an eye
chip on your shoulder
take note
laughter the best medicine
***
brainfreeze
kindness warms the cockles of my heart
if you can't be nice
you did not just say that
umm, ahh,
now you in trouble
quiet now i am watching tv
do not cry
don't spray it, say it
do not tell mum
it was'nt me
hava mint,
please
lol
go to your room
do not pass go do not collect one hundred $$
hello
all the world's a stage... merely players
wanna play
go away busy
want to come over
can i kiss you
push
it's a boy
what a whopper
please i've seen better
do i know you
the dog ate my homework
who now
why am i here
put your clothes on
what goes up must come down
life goes on
is my *** big in this
stop the merry-go-round i want to get off
whatever
i need a dollar
tea anyone
she had a goodlife
sorry
how much
every things coming up roses
what pink pigs flying overhead
snap, crackle, pop
one sugar or two
in case i don't see you
good morning
good evening
and good night
ttyl
out
take a bow you've earned it
Mar 18, 2014
Mar 18, 2014 at 4:43 PM UTC
feelin lazy today,
so you get what you get,
turn the page
move on
learn from your mistakes
be brave face your fears
footloose and fancyfree
don't run with scissors
smile
stay a while
catch more flies with honey
wrong way turn back
a stitch in time saves nine
when i was your age
no rhyme or reason to it
high road or low road
polly want a *******
click, click, boom
first past the post
i 'm just a smiling sunbeam
barrel of monkeys
to thine ownself be
thank you what doesn't **** you
hand in the cookie jar
never seen the like
flat out like a lizard drinking
not happy jan!
take a bex and have a good lie down
pull your socks up!
sunshine and daffodils
slip, slop, slap, put on a hat
life passes by in the blink of an eye
stand up straight
chip on your shoulder
take note
laughter the best medicine
***
brainfreeze
kindness warms the cockles of my heart
if you can't be nice
you did not just say that
umm, ahh, now you in trouble
quiet now i am watching tv
do not cry
don't spray it, say it
do not tell mum
it was'nt me
hava mint,
please lol
go to your room
do not pass go
do not collect one hundred $$
hello
all the world's a stage... merely players
wanna play
go away busy
want to come over
can i kiss you
push
it's a boy
what a whopper
please i've seen better
do i know you
the dog ate my homework
who now
why am i here
put your clothes on
what goes up must come down
life goes on
is my *** big in this
stop the merry-go-round
i want to get off
whatever
i need a dollar
tea anyone
she had a goodlife
sorry
how much
every things coming up roses
what pink pigs flying overhead
snap, crackle, n'pop
one sugar or two
in case i don't see you
good morning
good evening and good night
ttyl
out
take a bow you've earned it.
Jun 25, 2014
Jun 25, 2014 at 5:01 PM UTC
You rejected me when I offered you ***
But here I walk into your *********** mess.
The *********** images were of little teens.
They legitally looked the age of thirteen.
I text you and confront you.
You replied and sounded so happy.
I just lost my mind.
I flipped.
I through all of your ****
I punched things.
Kicked things.
Stabbed things.
I even cut and made my ownself bleed.
Finally I just screamed.
I fell down to my knees.
I kept asking god to just take me please.
Oct 28, 2014
Oct 28, 2014 at 3:25 PM UTC
everybody has a thing they are really good at
but i don't
i don't have a thing
singing is not my thing
dancing is not my thing
drawing is not my thing
doing any type of sports is not my thing
playing any type of instruments is not my thing
acting is not my thing
modeling is not my thing
& it scares me
because that thing can open so many doors
full of opportunities
but i don't have a thing
i don't have a thing that can reflect how i am
or how i feel
or what i like
i don't have a thing that makes me different from everybody else
i don't have a thing or a talent
i don't have a thing
& it's like not having my ownself
or at least,
i don't have a thing so far
that can help me achieve my dreams
why don't i have a thing?
Dec 30, 2013
Dec 30, 2013 at 10:38 PM UTC
We endeavor to construct boxes and file folders
This life being ****** complex
And messy to boot, so we approximate sanity
By filling compartments and writing thumbnail biographies,
And even though she packed the costume admirably
(Already forty, mind you, but nowhere near gone to fat)
Julie Newmar had already filled both outfit and niche
(And never mind Halle Berry’s turn,
Different raiment for a different time, after all,
And one suspects the next iteration of said slinky supervillainess
Will wear nothing more than feline-shaped ****** rings),
Not to mention she’d already entered our collective consciousness
With a frothy Noel novelty (unsubstantial, inconsequential
In and of its ownself, perhaps, but then one considers
The version foisted off on the populace by that woman
Who appropriated the moniker of the Blessed ******
All phoned-in faux Betty Boop, and one reconsiders)
So this was who she was, the book closed and sealed
(English only, never mind the other three tongues she spoke
Plus three more she proficiently purred in.)
They say when she died, she did not go gently, as it were,
But screamed and yowled for all she was still worth,
And maybe it was the cancer, certainly enough to do the job itself,
But perhaps it was the notion
That her era of innuendo and intimation was all done,
That she was transitioning to the static, to becoming a legacy,
A permanence that was stalking her,
Murderous, insatiable, inexorable.
Sep 14, 2018
Sep 14, 2018 at 10:39 AM UTC
feelin lazy today,
so you get what you get,
turn the page
move on
learn from your mistakes
be brave face your fears
footloose and fancy-free
don't run with scissors
smile
stay a while
catch more flies with honey
wrong way turn back
a stitch in time saves nine
when i was your age
no rhyme or reason to it
high road or low road
polly want a *******
click, click, boom
first past the post
i 'm just a smiling sunbeam
barrel of monkeys
to thine ownself be
thank you what doesn't **** you
hand in the cookie jar
never seen the like
flat out like a lizard drinking
not happy jan!
take a bex and have a good lie down
pull your socks up!
sunshine and daffodils
slip, slop, slap, put on a hat
life passes by in the blink of an eye
stand up straight
chip on your shoulder
take note
laughter the best medicine
***
brainfreeze
kindness warms the cockles of my heart
if you can't be nice
you did not just say that
umm, ahh, now you in trouble
quiet now i am watching tv
do not cry
don't spray it, say it
do not tell mum
it was'nt me
hava mint,
please lol
go to your room
do not pass go
do not collect one hundred $$
hello
all the world's a stage... merely players
wanna play
go away busy
want to come over
can i kiss you
push
it's a boy
what a whopper
please i've seen better
do i know you
the dog ate my homework
who now
why am i here
put your clothes on
what goes up must come down
life goes on
is my *** big in this
stop the merry-go-round,
i want to get off
whatever
i need a dollar
tea anyone
she had a goodlife
sorry
how much
every things coming up roses
what pink pigs flying overhead
snap, crackle, n'pop
one sugar or two
in case i don't see you
good morning
good evening and good night
rinse, repeat. set
now see here
ttyl
out
take a bow you've earned it
Apr 12, 2016
Apr 12, 2016 at 10:47 AM UTC
succession in the act
one cannot be afraid
of making theirself a fool
cannot remain of ownself
strip and despoil of worry
my strongest desire to be a fool
shameless in integrity and condemnation
grasp the pure abyss
and be everything other
Mar 8, 2019
Mar 8, 2019 at 11:55 AM UTC
Every opportunity comes in the form of a disguise
When an opportunity seems to be there, then many things seem possible
Initially, at the first instance only be absolutely sure as to whether or not an opportunity is available.
Once confirmed, then no point in looking back.
Time now to get hold of the things and make sure that the opportunity does not get out of hands.
Definitely every opportunity comes in the form of a disguise.
The disguise can be that of an odd, a challenge or some difficulty
It's absolutely important to be honest to your ownself, then the opportunity will not get out of hands.
What follows later is an experience gained from an opportunity that came along the way
Experiences have got an important place in everyone's life, good or bad comes later, much later.
Opportunities multiply when they are seized,
however, they die when neglected.
Nothing succeeds like success, same is with opportunity
Once an opportunity is seized upon,
time now to wait for the next.
Time alone can tell when the next opportunity will come,
till then keep your fingers crossed and wait for the same.
Mar 6, 2016
Mar 6, 2016 at 5:06 AM UTC
I'm a liar.
I've been pretending this whole time, and it's a shame that no one notices.
I am sad again, and terribly lost.
I hate eating. I hate being this, being me.
I want to go back to my support at the program, I want to leave this ugly real world
and go back.
I want daily meetings and supervision. I want to feel special and important
I want to be happy.
and I'm just not.
No one notices;
not my boyfriend who's been out all night partying with his friends.
not my bestfriend who just left to Cabo.
not my mom who hasn't spoken to me in days.
not my ownself who's going ******* insane.
I need someone, anybody, everybody.
I'm alone and I hate it.
I hate every ******* thing.
is it too much to want to be loved?
Dec 15, 2013
Dec 15, 2013 at 8:14 AM UTC
These shouldn't be falling down my face
For all that I lust turns to hate.
Falling
Falling down my face
Breath.
I can't look into my eyes
Black inside.
A glittered face forced into grace
My love took my pace.
Of happiness
And growth that I wished to be with you
We weren't.
I was blind
Shoulda known that fake smile was real.
The game of you planning to steal.
My heart
my soul
my happiness and ownself.
Twenty sevens years you will reap one of your seven sins
That you wish to bestow on me
Now I wish
on your knees
take it all *****
Oct 22, 2013
Oct 22, 2013 at 8:56 PM UTC
there's something missing
i still confuse
what is missing from me
Myself?
or
Someone else?
or
i miss someone
that make me miss my ownself
i miss the apple
i miss the hairtie
i miss the glasses
i miss all of that
because that're the things
i can make me be myself
i can smile because i want to
i can laugh because i want to
not because i need to
I'm not the same anymore
it feels like i have
many faces
many mask
-S.I
Dec 12, 2017
Dec 12, 2017 at 9:22 PM UTC
Mushrooms on my tounge!
Smoke in my lungs!
White line up my nose!
Viens got 'em dose!
I am flying on a different height!
I am having a different fight!
With my ownself!
Staring at this old shelf!
Yeah I am high!
Seeing things like sci-fi!
We overdosed on love, on hate!
You served me death on my plate!
-Vivek!
Aug 22, 2019
Aug 22, 2019 at 7:36 AM UTC
I wanted to spread my fragrance like
Flowers do. Nothing I did wrong. Just
Strive to make me stronger enough.
Don't know where and why it ***** you,
As the way I am living my dream. You
Started to knit the invisible web of
Despise and slander for me with words.
Without any real facts your defaming
Words made my dreams full of
Nightmares and screams. I started
Fearing to consume which I adore.
My fragrance become poisionus gas
For my ownself to swallow tarped in your
Pointless whispers. Still, Do I need to let
You decide my life? No, Not any longer.
I am going to spurn your bruits
with my
Smile. Make you long for the thing which
Now you despise by achieving my triumph
As I wage a war of one, My armaments
Can't fail me now.
Dec 14, 2019
Dec 14, 2019 at 5:39 AM UTC
Let it burn
My wings walked away
Let it burn
walking unknowingly now
A few more miles
Missing pieces of love
whirling upside down
upsetting and turmoiling
like a withering flowers
petal by petal
falling
Everyday
smokes and ashes
continuously
ruining ownself
Let it burn
My wings walked away
Let it burn
Before
I fall completely
O
come back
It’s been soo long
I still love you
Love me like before
I will be your lyrics
you will be my song
O
come back
give me one more chance
O
come back
My Love
or
Let it burn
Let the ashes consume me fully
Let it burn
….
Jan 8, 2019
Jan 8, 2019 at 3:39 AM UTC
When dreams turns to dust,
When lies reveals the truth
And when truth becomes the lie
Echoing from a distance to the soul.
Survival of the past left behind.
The cry of the brave soldiers dying in vain.
The field of sorrow and only emptiness to abide.
The rules of the world that never last.
Conquering the world but the hunger never ends.
The blood of the innocence crying out for help.
Where would i be...if there is no tomorrow to cover my sins
And what if my prayers are just for a day to calm me down and hide me from
the shadow of the sun blaring on my foot at the front door
beneath the sky of thirst and hunger for what was not known..
Keep me away from the love I've lied.
Fade away like the morning stars
Epic of the dawn of fear on my soul
Keep me away from the lies of this life,
Fading of the faith that never lied.
Carry me and let me breath for the last time.
Wounded, but never died.
Stubborn.. carry me off from this life of sin.
Prisoners' of life that I can't denie...
Hide ma fear when the sun set.. n when everybody else went home..
Jul 18, 2011
Jul 18, 2011 at 12:00 PM UTC
"I'm the truth" echoed
Mansur effaced his ownself
He was crucified
Aug 10, 2021
Aug 10, 2021 at 2:42 PM UTC
"Hurrry, hurry to bodies of great water! " Waves yell among another.
The undertow licks the rock botttom waiting for ones ownself to slip on their saliva.
And the skin crawls happily among the great chaotics of water.
So loud, sk gleeful, and yet danger awaits under.
"Hurry, hurry to bodies of great water!" Waves scream as they play.
Eager ever still like a puppy, just to embrace their salty lover.
"Sleepy, so sleepy and tired are we. " They yawn and become one.
Journey complete while still asleep.
In the arms of their salty lover.
Dec 11, 2013
Dec 11, 2013 at 1:11 AM UTC
No one ever tells you that
Even in the happiest place on earth
You can still feel blue
That there are things you have to do as a person
To thine ownself be true
These things that will help you grow
Like taking vitamins
To strengthen your bones
But sometimes you have to take the vitamins
That you find disgusting
No one tells you that
there will always be growing pains
And you wont always have enough medicine
Or a mom close enough to give you the grape flavored medicine not the cherry kind
sometimes it just hurts
Sometimes you just have to let it hurt
life will give you more than you can stomach
But when you consume good things
You will produce good things
But the opposite is also true
Even being surrounded by people
Thousands of people
You can feel alone
Because nothing,
I mean nothing
Is ever quite like home
And home is where the heart is
But right now mines far away
Making the best out of what i have
But feeling low today
Sometimes you just need to be
Surrounded by people you love
And being a thousand miles away
Is difficult when push
Comes to shove.
Mar 30, 2017
Mar 30, 2017 at 1:33 AM UTC
It was one of those places which,
We were instructed with stern tones
And the occasional smack to the ****
That we were not to go,
A place of childhood sing-song
(*River man, river man
He’ll sink his teeth right in your can*)
And, later, of clandestine beers and smokes,
Or furtive encounters
With steady sweethearts and short-term solutions.
He’d set up something akin to a lean-to
Hard by a reasonably well-sheltered bank,
One wall of rocky dirt, the other comprised of lumber
Which had been abandoned or purloined or somewhere in between,
And if you resided in that narrow niche
Where you were too old to be scared shitless of him,
And too young to dismiss him out of hand,
He was of a mind to accept a bit of company,
Possibly share a bit of somewhat-warm, store-brand soup,
Even a bit of coffee, if you’d developed the taste for it.
He’d been in the merchant marine, or so he claimed,
Driven there by the search for some constancy
He’d never been privy to in a land-locked world,
Figuring the ceaseless expanse of the ocean
And the regularity of shipboard routine the vessel to all that.
He’d been deeply disappointed, of course,
The waters a kaleidoscopic maelstrom of blues, grays, and purples,
Alternately hammock-smooth and Gothic furious,
All in nothing even mildly evocative of the regularity of the seasons,
And so, he intimated, he’d jumped ship in some unglamorous port,
Living on the run (though for how long was an open question,
And the whos and whys of his prospective captors
Not a subject that he nor his listeners were of a mind to broach)
But he’d never quite been able to shake the lure of the water,
And so he’d set up housekeeping by this particular stream,
Convinced the current held some epiphany, some augury
Which occasional suggested but never truly spoke to him
(*Can’t trust the water, and can’t trust the land,
And that hain’t left me much ‘n terms of other options,*
He was wont to cackle twice or thrice an hour.)
One day, before some of us were of a mind to see him leave,
He was gone, leaving no trace behind,
Perhaps run off by some officious sheriff’s deputy,
Perhaps by his own leave, searching for some river bed
Which spoke more sweetly, more distinctly,
Or perhaps he came to believe there was a third dwelling option
Somewhere on the banks of the jet stream its ownself.
Jan 5, 2017
Jan 5, 2017 at 9:54 AM UTC
The earth beneath my feet
Thrums with her heart beat
The tree branches sway
With the changing day
Hiding scars of days past
As did the last
When will you learn of past mistake?
Of avoiding demons come to take
Last few strands of sanity hanging on for my own sake.
After years of safe lies to yourself
Can you face your ownself
With courage for the next day?
To keep them at bay
To fight for my own rationality
For my memories have taken my reality
Sep 20, 2016
Sep 20, 2016 at 11:06 AM UTC