"outliving" poems
Until tonight they were separate specialties,
different stories, the best of their own worst.
Riding my warm cabin home, I remember Betsy's
laughter; she laughed as you did, Rose, at the first
story. Someday, I promised her, I'll be someone
going somewhere and we plotted it in the humdrum
school for proper girls. The next April the plane
bucked me like a horse, my elevators turned
and fear blew down my throat, that last profane
gauge of a stomach coming up. And then returned
to land, as unlovely as any seasick sailor,
sincerely eighteen; my first story, my funny failure.
Maybe Rose, there is always another story,
better unsaid, grim or flat or predatory.
Half a mile down the lights of the in-between cities
turn up their eyes at me. And I remember Betsy's
story, the April night of the civilian air crash
and her sudden name misspelled in the evening paper,
the interior of shock and the paper gone in the trash
ten years now. She used the return ticket I gave her.
This was the rude **** of her; two planes cracking
in mid-air over Washington, like blind birds.
And the picking up afterwards, the morticians tracking
bodies in the Potomac and piecing them like boards
to make a leg or a face. There is only her miniature
photograph left, too long now for fear to remember.
Special tonight because I made her into a story
that I grew to know and savor.
A reason to worry,
Rose, when you fix an old death like that,
and outliving the impact, to find you've pretended.
We bank over Boston. I am safe. I put on my hat.
I am almost someone going home. The story has ended.
2.1k
Hearn's is a story of a flat bird,
He couldn't catch the early worm,
Dollar too late mixing wrist with shanks.
Here lies Hearn: Goliath midage Peter Pan,
He flew too high and never land.
Hearn writes little words like their his words,
Cole is a mess making a mess outliving the rest,
Hearn holds a gun to his head a pen to his chest.
Oct 2, 2015
Oct 2, 2015 at 8:04 PM UTC
I long for myself
and for those I love
and for those I lead
to be like the
wild sequoias.
Let our reach
be high and vertical.
Let our roots
be firm and intertwined.
Let us be
strategically planted
in deep reservoirs.
Let our bark
be thick and resilient.
Let our seeds
be released
and germinated
when the fire comes.
Yes, let us be
an enduring grove,
outliving difficult
seasons and enjoying
the plentiful.
Apr 5, 2017
Apr 5, 2017 at 2:13 PM UTC
*where cello was semi-colon, where violins (always plural, no one's weeping or playing to beg) are colon, where Bach's (church pianos) organs / castrato livers kidneys hearts... where comma was the trebling silver triangles... where full-stop was the composer turning into a conductor, to detach himself from the act of composition and into a drama, a staged drama, a Sisyphus ram against the stable coordinate of perpetuated slam dunking bullseye for only a: knock knock. who's there? knock knock nowhere. nowhere where? here. where what? knock knock open the ******* door!*
i lived to the age of 70,
i loathed hating people,
and i loathed loving them
hence the reason i never married,
i could have lived alone
but the monetary system absolved that
wish...
tribalism would never give us
mozart's symphony no. 40 because
we would be exchanging favours
instead of monetary funds...
via solipsism and the ugly synonym autism...
****** instead of wives... well, there you go...
her eager libido explains much,
as a teenager ****** eager (rhyme rhyme rhyme)
explains her escapism into outliving man;
her satan's bargain truly did favour hair,
oh **** her, while he died a splendid death
aged approx. 30, she with a **** salute
saluted him: i'm worth 90 autumns!
yeah, 90 autumns and arthritis.
Mar 2, 2016
Mar 2, 2016 at 9:28 AM UTC
creation
never forgets,
its destiny
ever fulfilled...
a lesson beheld
in the seedling
bursting through
the midst of
a garden adorned;
nature undeterred
by the squirrel's
forgotten love affair
with an acorn.
though oft beyond
our given years,
in its own way
nature fulfills,
always rewards,
life cheating,
outliving death...
a Picasso returned
from coveter’s theft,
a truth uncovered
for children bereft,
and calm that follows
the fury’s storm.
for spawning salmon,
for migration’s bird,
on Serengeti’s plains
the herds return;
the lover’s heart
longs for home,
to know fulfillment,
to taste once more,
the fruit of promise,
a table replete,
hope restored,
a circle complete.
Dec 19, 2013
Dec 19, 2013 at 12:15 AM UTC
How many a father have I seen,
A sober man, among his boys,
Whose youth was full of foolish noise,
Who wears his manhood hale and green:
And dare we to this fancy give,
That had the wild oat not been sown,
The soil, left barren, scarce had grown
The grain by which a man may live?
Or, if we held the doctrine sound
For life outliving heats of youth,
Yet who would preach it as a truth
To those that eddy round and round?
Hold thou the good: define it well:
For fear divine Philosophy
Should push beyond her mark, and be
Procuress to the Lords of Hell.
1.2k
there's those certain tales
which are older than any city
never ending, always growing
and every generation
has a brave few
who wish to give parts of themselves
to that thriving monstrosity.
each tale
gracefully
bluntly
violently
mockingly
holds the elements of humanity
and are laced with honest expressions.
each tale outliving their authors
and nobody can remember
their names or faces
it's a seductive habit
**** and cool
edgy and real
intelligent and spiritual
all encompassing
a suicide mission
we all have our own blood on our lips
and we use it
to leave messages
cries for help
damnations and manifestos
or maybe just
a silly little poem
we just don't want to be forgotten
we just want to be
a never ending tale
Feb 23, 2013
Feb 23, 2013 at 7:47 PM UTC
Silent hill casts a shadow on the moon,
Even beauty has a dark side.
Pale face aloft in freckled night
Feeds me with random musings
As I meander along the quiet pasture.
Excavate the fertile earth and
There you’ll find sterile treasures
Outliving all that’s alive.
I stumble on my clumsiness and taste
The dirt on my tongue.
Strange how life’s ambrosia is so
Distasteful to its offspring.
Just like love, a cloying sweetness
That turns bitter over time, and
When it’s gone, an aftertaste dwells.
Still on the ground, I roll over to look
Upon the freckled night sky.
Fascinating how constellations
Are merely imposed order
On senseless disorder.
I bet the stars laugh at our attempt
To find reason where there is none.
And then there’s the moon,
Indiscriminately shining on even
The foulest of creatures, underserving
Of its generous light,
Although without the sun, it’d just
Be a tenebrous chunk of rock.
Alone, we’d be just as unglamorous.
Mar 13, 2016
Mar 13, 2016 at 2:46 PM UTC
Once upon a time there lived a ****
who had nothing better to do
than masquerade as a human being,
all the while resenting everything around him.
His days were long and dark
and nothing ever seemed quite real.
People would avoid him in the street,
cross it if they felt so inclined,
a clear pavement in front of him at all times.
The sun made him sweat,
the moon made him freeze,
no happy in-between for the ****
People screamed and ran away
at just the sight of him,
how those people would run.
His genes were not necessary
for the continuation of the species
so thank **** he never had children.
A lowly street-whore took pity on him,
invited him to her room
and ****** his brains out all night long,
using a ****** of course,
even street-whores have some standards.
After he was done, the **** muttered an apology
and left as the sun began to rise.
They struck up a friendship nevertheless,
the ***** getting the **** to do her bidding
while she lay back and thanked
everyone else on his behalf.
The ***** was only interested in money,
it didn’t matter what the guy looked like
so long as she acquired gold
in some vain attempt to keep herself beautiful.
Women only go for men
they think will keep them beautiful.
The ***** soon became fed up with the ****
Too busy lying on her back
with her legs spread-eagled
like an overgrown cavern entrance
to listen to his questions.
So off he went, once again,
into a world that hated him.
The **** never saw the ***** again,
but heard her name from time to time.
He hoped beyond all hope
that her life had turned just as **** as his.
It did. He heard rumours that she killed herself
because she never cared enough for others,
then when she needed help, no one was there,
so she had enough and hanged herself.
The **** smiled ever-so-slightly
despite the tears building in his eyes.
You do well outliving a *****
The world grew a little more colourful.
Jun 22, 2017
Jun 22, 2017 at 7:59 AM UTC
His eyes are like black beetles rolled onto their backs, thick legs like lashes flickering in the movement it requires to take me in;
And I am exposed- again- to the disease they spread from living underneath the foundations of so many homes, not unknown, exactly, but pardoned as 'harmless’ and left
to live in the crawl spaces, where his real eyes roll between the cobwebs.
Therein the innocence of beauty, with all her God given curves, is curled up inside the belly of that glutton, and the stomach acid does the devil’s work in decomposing her;
We all have bruises on our necks, blooming in lavender colored thumbprints where he turned our faces forcibly away from him;
There is nothing so damning as a woman who has made eye contact with those insects,
Bite
Your
Tongue
Girl,
This is not about you.
This is about the ‘stumbling block’ you became to him,
This is about the disastrous eventuality of outliving your usefulness.
This is about the godforsaken body you were given to spite and entice him with,
And your ability to keep it carefully hidden.
We will not bite our tongues.
We are not the amalgamation of soft feminine lines, rent into the shapes you like them best,
Or the shapes you hate,
Or the constantly transforming flame of your carnality, with it's cruel hands around your throat.
We are not our bodies;
But they are ours.
We are not our bodies,
And we will not be easily devoured.
Nov 26, 2017
Nov 26, 2017 at 1:17 PM UTC
Mirrors are not the worst, but I sure don't like them, though I like them more than what they show me.
I look into one,
afraid and armed only with
determined resignation.
I'm finally feeling old, and it's a lonely thing.
I'm tired of outliving friends. I'm tired of losing.
So much time I've wasted. So much pain I've caused. My sore back is not the only reason I slump.
I ignore my own advice, though I think it's good advice.
My heart is rough and there appears no fair way to stay on course. I disguise my overuse of metaphors and think myself clever.
But I'm still breathing and
my family loves me.
Nov 17, 2020
Nov 17, 2020 at 12:01 PM UTC
It matters not what lies behind
Or what may lie ahead,
When waking dreams and evil things
Reside in each man's head.
They rattle chains and haunt our brains,
They feast upon our fears;
Consuming joy and hope and trust,
And all that we've held dear.
We hear their cries and stoke the fires,
Descend with them to Hell;
We share their shame, but not in blame,
Then fight amongst ourselves;
'Tis rare one sees
That which he flees
Is but a timeless mirror.
From brilliant men, to hapless hearts,
To wicked, wretched souls...
They are no more, nor less, than we;
But fractions of one whole.
Though he may lack in this or that
While others seem to reign;
With better looks, or smarts in books,
More power, wealth or fame;
We mustn't bend to arrogance,
Nor envy, just the same...
For he who dims his brothers light
Still hath no brighter a flame;
Instead he lessens all our sight
And squanders his own gains.
Have faith in ALL that's here below
Was ordered, first, above.
And suffers much, the eldest man,
Outliving all he's loved;
While rich men live, as paranoids,
And poor men toil in pain.
The simple man, a laughing stock,
And genius feels insane.
While beauty's forged the darkest hearts,
As shallow, they became.
And lives of ease have yielded sloth
And left good bodies lame.
So none can measure, nor divide,
The worth of Moon and Sun....
Like bird and beast,
As Earth to Sea,
Dependent on the One.
The seasons change,
As well they should,
And ne'er can we forget....
We're nigh but little cosmic spokes
Whom churn the Infinite.
And so these planets and their stars
Keep wheeling 'round the sky,
The watchmen keeping track of time,
Our souls all keeping ties.
Aug 20, 2016
Aug 20, 2016 at 3:31 PM UTC
wailing soul's slow coach, or...
bredda gravalicious-
two songs you won't hear that much often;
it's not so much being pretentious
as it means being informed -
well, songs are sang,
politics are weaved - the haggis is ate
like a habit rather than a celebration,
people tend to harvest-fields
like they tend to boredom,
but then man can't be coerced into
perpetual work - not twice outliving the
chance change from labourer to priest,
while the lord of the rings
was written with collision between
genitalia revision of the sexes varied
between the female (Egypt's) and male
(former Iraqi and to come Israeli)...
the boxing match was waited for...
which revision of the snippets akin to
the Dobberman's ears' was welcome more?
i guess neither - pagan celebrations
of ******* insignia,
monotheistic celebrations of doubly-phallic
insignia hidden in what became
both the ******** and the niqab - by the english
tongue dubbed "satan's postbox".
Jul 2, 2016
Jul 2, 2016 at 9:12 PM UTC
There is a funeral pyre
I built as I walk.
A parade of orange flames
down the street,
blue centers lapping like puppies
trying to get my attention.
And I let that ache burn
with the ashy residue
that lies thick on
all my clothes
and the tongue where
I kissed you.
I left the love, I left the lover
but, Oh! the embers wear me round my neck like a like an sailor's orange sky
Struck a match to patch the hole.
And everywhere I go I am the mourner and the deceased.
Outliving the everlasting,
wearing thin evermore.
sahn
8/9/16
Aug 10, 2016
Aug 10, 2016 at 12:46 AM UTC
Aren’t you all getting sick and tired
of hearing/seeing news to the tune of
a pathetic white man with a gun?
Aren’t you all sick and tired
of seeing children murdered
in cold blood?
Aren’t you all sick and tired
of seeing college students
and adults
murdered in cold blood?
Aren’t you all sick and tired
of minorities being gunned down
because they are minorities?
Aren’t you all sick and tired
of pathetic white men being called lone wolves
and mentally ill because of the color of his skin,
and making the stigma that actual mentally ill people
are violent even worse than it already is?
Aren’t you all sick and tired
of being afraid for your life,
your child’s lives,
your friends and family
that are minorities?
Because, as a mentally ill minority,
I sure as hell am.
As a transgender person,
a WHITE transgender person,
my life expectancy is already only 40.
And that’s not because I’ll **** myself.
America is going to drown
in the spilled blood and grief from children,
adults, and minorities being murdered,
because people place their right
to carry assault weapons
OVER OUR LIVES.
Children should not have to go through active shooter drills.
Parents should not be involuntarily outliving their children.
Minorities should not have to fear for their lives.
There is SUCH AN EASY SOLUTION TO THIS.
It’s not rocket science.
It’s gun control laws.
No one wants to take away your guns.
We just want to live.
Please.
We just want to live.
Nov 8, 2018
Nov 8, 2018 at 11:44 PM UTC
The life's ride unravels
new visions yet to travel,
through the eyes of the old,
who lived through his life, bold.
Through the odes of the heroes
that survived the rain of arrows,
the blood that spoke in it's silence,
outliving the brutal violence.
The swords that reeked of cynical intent
that left the voices of the needy distant,
into the mundane walk of evolution,
into the urbane solution
of living through a window
of technology due to a limbo,
caused by a uncanny cough.
Jun 19, 2021
Jun 19, 2021 at 2:15 PM UTC
When I was young, I was afraid of many things
There was darkness
But also what came out of darkness
There was spiders and bats because, well, because.
After a little while I lost some old fears,
Picked up new ones
Like, what I'd she dosent like me?
Am I going to get that grade?
Today I realized the pointlessness of those fears
As I witnessed many face my truest fear
I quickly cast my fears aside
As only one matters now
I am not afraid to die,
But I am afraid of outliving those I love
I fear going to my brothers funeral
Seeing him one last time
I fear my mother's and Father's
I love them both so dearly
I fear loosing the one I love
Seeing the face awake next to mine no more
I fear outliving the kids I'll someday have
As no father should have to watch their child die
I fear the loss of my friends
I would be nothing without
To say it would brake me would not be enough
I would shatter and do so twice
I sat in a funeral today
Tears along with the rest
Realizing how precious
Each. Person. Is.
I praised God for the life I have
I thanked Him for my health
But I didn't pray for my protection
I pray for those I love
So no, I do not fear the dark
I fear kneeling next to the casket
Gazing at the loved one lost
And seeing their smile no more
Apr 17, 2016
Apr 17, 2016 at 10:42 PM UTC
Somewhere along the line,
I lose track of the divide
between the
living and the dead.
In a thrift store, for
almost a minute, I
can't remember
whether or not
my parents are alive.
Staring at a china tea set
with a pattern of brown plums
I swear used to sit
in my grandmother's cabinet,
I can't place which
inevitable tragedies
are in the past, and
which are still ahead of me.
Summer ended
in a screech of brakes
one July night, and
October transitioned
prematurely into winter
with a flare of golden sunlight
and an overdose of anaesthetic.
There have been others - a long
succession of fatalities the
whole year through, but
those two were
the deaths that really
unmade me.
Since then, I guess,
the shadow has always
sort of been there.
Maybe before. Maybe
it started with that
first small, broken body.
Or else it's just getting older
and outliving friends
that does it.
Bereavement as the new normal.
Which leaves me here,
staring at thrift store china,
trying to remember
if I'm an orphan.
Oct 23, 2017
Oct 23, 2017 at 6:22 PM UTC
A lone wolf on a mountain
A fish falling down a fountain
A butterfly on a flower
A shark about to devour
A man on a tower
About to meet his death
On his last breath
About to fall to the ground
And people crowd around
The man frowned
This was how he ended his life
Death has the feeling of a blunt knife
Yet the wolf, fish, butterfly and shark
Are still living
Outliving the dominant creature on earth
Do we have no self-worth?
Giving life away so quickly
Because it got a little sickly
Mar 27, 2021
Mar 27, 2021 at 1:25 AM UTC
~
we are the sum of our whole,
though the soul until death,
is largely unknown.
our words and our deeds,
whatever our needs,
outliving, outpacing
our to-the-end racing,
until all has been
thought, said and done.
when mourners are gone,
the dirges been sung,
all the dear ones departed,
when distilling’s begun.
i believe Antony was wrong,
for the good that men do
lives after them long;
and like sickness, any ill
is interred with their bones.
misdeeds are forgotten,
harsh words set aside,
remembered the kindness,
the love and the pride.
when mourners are gone,
the dirges been sung,
all dear ones departed,
here distilling’s begun.
when the fallen lie in repose,
what’s given in secret,
done deeds not for show;
words gifted are sifted,
here goodness is known.
a life time well-lived
remains hidden not long;
here defeat is forgotten,
only victories won.
when mourners are gone,
the dirges been sung,
all dear ones departed,
then distilling’s begun.
within twilight’s stilling,
begins the distilling;
the good left behind,
in loved ones instilling.
~
*post script.
“travel light; enjoy the journey”
words a son lived by, distilled,
only in death.
we are still...
learning,
still...
distilling,
the depth and the breadth of his life.*
Jul 2, 2016
Jul 2, 2016 at 2:40 PM UTC
Parents are outliving their children, in the world today. When they find their child is dead, there are lack of words to say.
Parents are outliving their children, some are dead from being in gangs. They are constantly being shot down, by people acting insane.
Parents are outliving their children, some are killed in schools. To their parents, this ignite a fire, only adding more fuel.
Parents are outliving their children, some commit suicide. Their parents have to hear bad news, that their child has died.
Parents are outliving their children, some are lost to drugs. Their parents are left all alone, no longer giving out hugs.
Parents are outliving their children, some from driving while drinking. Some failed to turn over their keys, to someone who were thinking.
By, Sandra Juanita Nailing
May 8, 2014
May 8, 2014 at 10:45 PM UTC
Still on the air, racing through hyperspace. Racing toward the ultimate, dashing for the übermensch within, the perfect human being, outliving the greasy machinery of our collective existential crises. Trudging down the proverbial road in swinish runs
back and forth
Collecting the critical fragments of out minds from the bowels of life's desert, only to find that they have gotten perverted with the rank rot of maggots, festering, crawling through the remains that were left from our conception and subsequent birth, poorly mummified.
But alas, too many millenniums have past.
Too many millenniums.
Too many.
As we search between the cacti, avoiding the venomous bite of the rattlesnake, battling the heat, our wristlet watches tick.
Tick, tick, tick away with the unfair certainty that the watch will keep ticking through the arbitration of time.
Through the arbitration of the flexible human condition, surrounded by the deafening stasis of the world.
The deafening tick, mocking our decay, celebrating its own infinity.
Mar 6, 2014
Mar 6, 2014 at 9:41 PM UTC
Likewise this Earth
ingest everything,
Whole memories
Will be buried
In oblivion…
Even though,
Some of them will remain
as the hair locks
outliving the soil…
Oct 22, 2014
Oct 22, 2014 at 6:33 AM UTC
Saba sat there
and posed herself
all ready for what
she didn't say
part of my job
she said
this posing
this being seen
as such
I gazed
like a man dazed
haven't you seen
a woman like this
before?
yes
I said
sure I have
then why
the wide eye gaze?
she said
I sat down opposite
hands on my knees
looking at her hair
at her eyes
the pose
do you do this often?
I said
only if he wants me to
she said
he'll be back
he's just gone
for a bite to eat
don't you eat too?
not yet
if I get out of pose
I lose my focus
she said
does he pay well?
I asked
this is art
she said
I get enough
but it's not the pay
that counts
it's being part
of art
it'll be me
on the canvas
me outliving him
I wanted a smoke
but I’d left them
in my coat downstairs
got a ciggie?
I asked
he doesn't allow
smoking
in his studio
she said
fire risk
oils
and other
stuff around
when do you get done?
I asked
when he says
she replied
not a nine
to five job
I gazed at her
with more focus
putting out of mind
the image of her
sitting in the church pew
with her husband
he all prim and proper
and she innocent as cream
she uncrossed
her legs
revealing
a young man's dream.
May 30, 2014
May 30, 2014 at 3:36 PM UTC
the aspects of your conquests are undeniably disgusting in my eyes
you would’nt leave to save my life
eyes that dictate the choices of my hours
i cant breathe
an example for the ages of how not to be occupied
i pray your smiles widens and your troubles cease
dreams by which i have begun to fade away
ethereal sit ins are the only thing keeping you here
i do not remember my last true presence
please give me my worth back
i havent seen her in so long
artificial artistic answers and cheap perfume are my specialty
your silence overwhelms faster than your words ever did
tell me what to throw shame towards and i’ll syncopate our reasoning to be here
i am fearful for the future more than ive ever been
a life withholding your substance is a life unattainable
i wake in the morning cursing whatever kept me here
outliving you will be my greatest misfortune
seeing you carried down churns my chest and conquers my calm
i will not live to see you go
friend
Jun 30, 2018
Jun 30, 2018 at 11:49 PM UTC