So many of us sit, think and still
wonder,
But have we ever gave ourselves the chance to ask?
Well no!
We just rejoice and find oursleves
floating on cloud nine because
"it is just another public holiday"

So many of us have cherished this day,
as a day of drinking, parting
and being in the family way.
Which "Us" am i refering to?
Well it is the youth of South Africa,
That can only sing "Freedom is coming tomorrow" very well
without knowing the significance
of that freedom
and what it took for this freedom
to come

well let me take you back to the
hands of time.
In June 16, 1976
the mongoloid youth of South Africa
marched down the streets of Soweto for this freedom we have today.

BLOOD SHADE,
SCREAMS,
EXPLOIDING SOUNDS
and the cries of faces without races
filled the streets of Soweto.

Parents feared for the lives of their children,
but who knew that adolescents
could be so brave?

They stood together in unity,
the same unity we lack today.
Fought for what was right and that came with their African roots,
which we nolonger honour today,

they fought against the usage af
Afrikaans as the main language of communication at schools.
And look where it left us today.
We have the Right to choice
and the Freedom of association.

And not forgeting that,
they left us with the courage to say "WE ARE PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICANS"

It didn't happen all at once, it was like a slow simmer. Or maybe even how a sunburn appears, it may have even felt the same. It was like a constant sting that burned every time we tried to fix it hurting oursleves more and more as time passed. The hollow feeling throbbed every kiss felt like a gut punch and I wasn't ready to fight you. We had the world and then suddenly we didn't. How could a love be as bright as the north star yet die out as fast as a birthday wish is made. Promises made of forever and happy ever after were spun and I swear to god ive been so in love with you that I look at you with pure love while all you'll ever look at me is like a friend or another notch in your tally board. I swear to god every time I said I loved you I meant it, there was such intensity behind those words that I am the one paralyzed unable to get up. Its like I am the one who was holding the gun but you were still the one that shot me bringing me to my knees begging for a little tenderness. It was like a slow simmer or maybe even how fast the summer disappears.

My head spins, twirling in colors of essential essanance
the barrries fall onto
floors non existant ground
and simple pleasures
of conversational munch

are triply seductive

the nature that has been robbed will be returned
the love that has been lost will be found
the trees that are cut will grow

and the souls that are condemened will be freed

but it must freeze

what lies at the core of fools
tell me ,
if you could be so kind?

kindred spirits of the philosophical type
who have seen the darkness and fight the flowers fall ,

the tree of universes shakes
and breathes a sigh

all the wind orginated from this spot
eminating out of the simple
simple stop  ,

cat calls - forest walls

honest bums
sit
no place like home they say
i say no place called home

no place other than home
as it walks with me
side by side
unto the power places
chakras glow and merger
connotations
******

but the defenition is flexiable

determine the point ,
touch the joints
heat the fall
and ***** it all

you only have this time around its all we've ever had.

who is it
that defines the love in our lives
but parent hood figures made out of wood frozn in time and we watch at the spirals unwind
and the lemons
are zingy and the mint is fresh
and i sleep on a bears bed
baby bear , mother too - wolves out alone standiing o howl at the mooon
and awoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
we've come so far
on the riptide of loves handslide
handshake
discovering for oursleves what we deem humanities race
and what we deem fools and tounges
and what we deem to be the runner out run
who comes first in a race
who comes fist before the fired gun
who sits and the hollow has come.

Just another metal bird
with a dictated flight path
I'm just another ****** up ray of sunshine
Too many people that come and pray at my shrine
L Ron Hubbard was just the start of an ideology that's too dangerous
Too many people following a leader instead of their ideals, it's so real
yet it's only as tangible as the wind
it's not what you think
it's really not what you think
wishing life could be darker
just so I could enjoy the brighter day that I've kept a bay, that I've slept away
starting another fray.
just so you can feel at home, raised on a battlefield of the sexes, getting off on your exes pain, one more kiss in the rain, one more kiss that will maime,
another made up character that we look up too, just to hope we can be true to oursleves, cause after all were different, like everyone else.
yet anywhere else is a better view, than your own eye sockets.
Hiding more than your ring finger in that pocket, destroying your mother and building rockets.
it's our adolescence, time to fly on our own, and leave those that raised us behind. in a neighborhood that watched us grow.
I've seen the terror churn inside too many good people...
maybe that's why people still believe in god, not because they think he's real, but because they hope he is.
because maybe.
just maybe.
He'll be at the end of this long and dark tunnel.

The revolving door spins swiftly, taking its passengers by surprise
With its transient metamorphosis. The foreign scenery is at first
exciting in its bold contrast, before boredom ages beauty and
Weathers it away until it's faded and ugly like the peeling paint
On an abandoned house.

Situations that caused tears, blood and agony become but foolish
Memories, as attention and perception shift to new situations
We gladly then sacrifice oursleves to.

Heron Blue, above the ocean
Along the marshes and the shores,
What is it that you see, which concerns you so?

When the oceans rise - take flight, for you are free
To find new shelter along the inland seas;
Let your instincts be your guide
And you shall survive

But what of us, I ask:
Such fragile human beings we have become:
That we no longer know how to care for oursleves

Heron Blue asked: and whose fault is that?
You have failed to follow the ways of the land
And no longer trust your instincts to help you
Survive in this ever changing world.

It is true: we no longer remember the ways of the past
Or follow the teachings and guidance that were
Once freely given to us.

Our truths have vanished and we are lost.
Heron Blue please be our guide.



FOR RICHARD: Thank you for sharing life lessons with me.

       S:  What a great doctor, friend and mentor

       O:  Medical Doctor, Listener, Guide, Teacher, Friend

        A:  You have reached out to so many and by doing so
               have enriched the world beyond belief.

        P:  Heron Blue guide us.


























FOR RICHARD: Thank you for sharing life lessons with me.

can one find happiness within dark trenches?
not if one can't be both happy and defenseless
for happiness comes along with barries and walls
which rapidly disinitegrate when such boundaries fall
caged and shackled within defintion
one's true happiness is clouded with subtle ambition
for is what one has determines who one is
then should one redefine what it means to live?
should one bow and bend with the status quo?
give up what is is felt burning inside
for the soothing assurance of what society knows
afriad to create a new route and step out of line
instead, blindfolded, we surrender
giving up our mind
making oursleves hollow and empty becoming utterly senseless
piling up armor yet claiming to be defenseless

I walk around everyday lost in the past, like reading a ******* history book trying to learn of people from the past. I can never understand how other people think. No matter how hard you try and find the solutions for other peoples problems and honesty and sinceraly want to help them. Whether it is for love, money, friendship, or simply wanting to do the right thing. And even when we do our very best to help and get hurt in the process, for some reason we always come back for more as if the pain inside of us is blinded by the new distraction of you will. I call it that because 9 times out of 10 it seems that the people you are trying to help act as if they want it but then run when it is given. We jump blindly of cliffs to our own doom. We do it so ******* willingly that it becomes second nature.We do our best to protect those we care about or want to care about and the world has a way of saying go **** yourself. And when we take that plunge we hit the ground landing on jagged rocks fragementing into a million pieces. And as time goes on our minds and hearts pick up whats left and piece back together into what we lie to ourselves and call a new and better person. But it is exactly that, we are not a new or better person we are just more learned on the fact that not everything in life is free and the very sad fact that you will cry by yourself far more times than you will laugh with the one you care about. You will learn that there is no perfect relationship, there is no such thing as a soul mate. These are fantasies and dreams we make in our minds so that we can have some glimmer of hope that not everything is lost. That not everything we do in our lives will bring pain and confusion to our lives. So again we decive oursleves. Nothing ever good happens to its too late. We make a million mistakes in the process of trying to do one good thing. Those odds are proven time and time again. And it is not until a friend lays out our  mistakes and can sympathize with them do we realize how stupid we have been and like a collision of truth slams into us and wrecks our whole ****** day. Draining us of our last drop of blood, pulling that last fragment of care from our hearts which is already in a million pieces on the floor as the world walks on past crushing the fragments beneath the wieght of the past and it becomes harder and harder to ever believe that anything will get better with time, people never change, they are what they are, and no matter how much you may be willing to change for them...the sad truth is you will never change, and they will never accept you if you do.

Remember how we floated that night?
Minds pulling up their anchors,
And allowing free motion;
An escape from the docks that are our bodies.
The solid encasement of ourselves left alone for a while,
As the stars invited us in.

We were friends and clung to each other in our journey.
Distancing the impending reality.
Separating ourselves from the surrounding truths we’d never really believed.

We flew,
And we swam,
And we were.
Drifting in eternity.
Aware of those around us,
But happy for the moment in oursleves.

Do you remember how we were?
So content in our secret movement.
Releasing our beings,
Freely,
Gladly,
Relenting control.

That night when we floated.
And we were together.

Remember how we were happy.

We need not heed to the jest of a wanting,
          for if it needs your praise,
then it is guilty of denial.

And embellish  on your need
to need, for it to have
                   its authority over you.


You are humanity.

We put ourselves through hell
Some hurt more than others
All in the name of love

We give our all to one person
In the pursuit of eternal happiness
All in the name of love

Over and over we devote ourselves,
to one we see as “the one”
All in the name of love

We take a gamble
not with money but with our hearts
All in the name of love

To find our eternal happiness
we crave to find “the one”
All in the name of love

We tear ourselves apart
only to pick oursleves back up to do the same
All in the name of love

Love is crazy and is hard to understand completely
but we do it
All in the name of love

we grow together
quickly,
like juanita
like phillip
your plants,
we laugh at the sun
were kept up by the moon
we throw ourselves into crises
we burn oursleves out, until
we are just souls
were still kept up by the moon
we still laugh at the sun
like your plants,
like phillip
like juanita
quickly,
we grow together

Things have changed,
we have changed,
innovating oursleves to better
understand each other and
help each other learn and
Love.

Life as it is..
Seems so deep..
We live it as we please..
And the focus peeps..

And we dodge from it..
To hide oursleves..
We go through ****..
Like ****** elves..

We think too much..
Thinking what we think is so thoughtful..
But trust me nothing comes out of it..
But you end up proving yourself a big ****** fool..

Life as it is..
Is not so deep..
We should live it as it is..
And end its seek.
Life as it is.

On strange islands
In strange places
we start to learn about ourselves
when we separate ourselves from the ordinary
we tend to explore our deepest selves
in random, strange faces
we found the faces of the ones that we love and miss
In the snow
we found oursleves thinking about how we tend to change sometimes like seasons
In the clear sky and the clear night
we have this feeling that our minds are expanding
and that our body is not important
we are souls connected to stars
and we are bodies connected to dust
we forget how to close our eyes
and sometimes we forget how to feel
but we are always searching for ourselves
and thats the real purpose of life

Second wave rolling over us,
our lives shocked into shift
we face a wall and brace oursleves
for the hit,
a deep breath in
we observe and count until
shaken we lose sight,
when up becomes down
for a while,
locked in embrace,
pushed and pulled by waters
we fight the flow, or submit,
wondering fleetingly;
How long still,
how long will we last
confined under,
before the surge recedes,
our bodies floating in her retreat,
our hearts and our minds imprints
fading on the sand,
unless
hands buried and knees covered,
saltwater streaming on the beach,
we gasp,
soon to stand under an open sky.

On the brink of mirth, lip split vertical,
bleeding surgical mask
Tapping Nelson's cask,
sipping static ash
Electronic clash, striking through,
silence moves around you like
  clouds
Life sprints away in leaps and bounds,
bound to end up somewhere,
  bound to fate
Juniper seperates me from rocky track,
don't wan't to go back,
  sick of drymouth walking
A boat headed south,
all the teeth knocked out your mouth,
  doubt becomes despair
We pretend that we care,
but our actions bare
  different conclusions
A fusion of different contusions,
condition: Human,
       most likely
  dooming: Oursleves