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"obituaries" poems
I am alive by luck at this point. I wonder if the gun that will eventually take me has been made. Whose trigger will bury me. How many bullets, like a flock of sparrows, will come carry my life to its final bed. Today, I am alive but there is no law to thank. If not me, then someone else. Born into a game of chance we never asked for. Traded diplomas for obituaries. Traded graduation speeches for eulogies. Traded futures for an early grave. Forced to cash in their chips. We don’t want to play anymore. And this too is eulogy. And this too is prayer. And this too can resurrect the coffin wood back to a tree. Can sing back alive whatever parts of you died with them. Whatever leapt in your throat at yet another headline. Mourning until you, too, are a thing to mourn. But we will no longer be martyrs. We are the rude awakening to politicians who pawned out our safety, who bartered our lives for bribes. You say “gun reform is not the answer” but all I can see is a bullet rattling like a pinball in an innocent student’s jaw. You smell like gun smoke and I can see the AR15 you're holding behind your back and I guess it's easy to crack jokes about dodging bullets when you're the one firing them. Give teachers books not bullets: Kafka isn’t kevlar. Bronte isn’t bulletproof. And how sick is it that we must add school shootings to your list of proud american traditions. Throwing opinions like punches. How many more have to die before you decide your ego isn’t as important as you think it is? And I, too, am buried alive My soggy grave parting its greedy lips. To you, my bones, when ground into gunpowder and mixed into water, taste like champagne. My pulse, as thin as an obituary panting beneath sweaty palms, and sure We are “just kids,” But you are forgetting we are the next generation And you autopsy your fists. Call it reclamatory. Lately, when asked “how are you?” I respond with a name no longer living. And who knows if mine will be next
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Apr 14, 2018
Apr 14, 2018 at 10:32 PM UTC
Ammunition: a eulogy for parkland
I am alive by luck at this point. I wonder if the gun that will eventually take me has been made. Whose trigger will bury me. How many bullets, like a flock of sparrows, will come carry my life to its final bed. Today, I am alive but there is no law to thank. If not me, then someone else. Born into a game of chance we never asked for. Traded diplomas for obituaries. Traded graduation speeches for eulogies. Traded futures for an early grave. Forced to cash in their chips. We don’t want to play anymore. And this too is eulogy. And this too is prayer. And this too can resurrect the coffin wood back to a tree. Can sing back alive whatever parts of you died with them. Whatever leapt in your throat at yet another headline. Mourning until you, too, are a thing to mourn. But we will no longer be martyrs. We are the rude awakening to politicians who pawned out our safety, who bartered our lives for bribes. You say “gun reform is not the answer” but all I can see is a bullet rattling like a pinball in an innocent student’s jaw. You smell like gun smoke and I can see the AR15 you're holding behind your back and I guess it's easy to crack jokes about dodging bullets when you're the one firing them. Give teachers books not bullets: Kafka isn’t kevlar. Bronte isn’t bulletproof. And how sick is it that we must add school shootings to your list of proud american traditions. Throwing opinions like punches. How many more have to die before you decide your ego isn’t as important as you think it is? And I, too, am buried alive My soggy grave parting its greedy lips. To you, my bones, when ground into gunpowder and mixed into water, taste like champagne. My pulse, as thin as an obituary panting beneath sweaty palms, and sure We are “just kids,” But you are forgetting we are the next generation And you autopsy your fists. Call it reclamatory. Lately, when asked “how are you?” I respond with a name no longer living. And who knows if mine will be next
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31
I keep finding bullets stuck between my teeth The same ones you bought the day you decided the ceiling would look better covered in blood. Maybe that’s why everything I say sounds like it’s is trying to **** me. But what do you do when you stand in front of a mirror with a gun to your head and your reflection smiles back at you? What do you do When you stand in the middle of a busy road And every driver is a different version of yourself you’ve tried to **** Every version of yourself No one could love. My mother used to get in fist fights with the mirror and expect to win She says I look just like her Maybe that’s why I wake up and can’t recognize who I am. I checked the obituaries this morning Trying to find myself again It’s a habit I picked up from you But I never thought your name would end up there before mine. Sometimes I imagine what death feels like Sometimes I imagine kissing you instead By now it feels like I’m imagining the same thing. Someone once told me that begging you to come home Isn’t the same as praying Maybe that’s why God stopped listening and started smashing the windows of every place I thought we could be happy in. Your smile looked a lot like the light at the end of the tunnel Right before the train hits you. I used to squint my eyes when I looked at you Like I was looking at the sun Or a car accident I wanted to be part of I’m sorry I ever thought you could be anything ugly to me You were the only beautiful thing in this hideous place. I couldn't look at you clearly, because I knew I would see my own face staring back at me and your eyes were the only place I never wanted to be dead inside of. You can only break your knuckles so many times Before you cant hold yourself together anymore. My hands haven’t stopped shaking since you left I don’t know how to tell them you’re not coming back. See, I used to say I never wanted to end up like my father Now I have to say I never want to end up like you, Which means I can’t leave without saying goodbye But I tried to write my eulogy last night And realized it's hard to write about someone I never knew.
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Oct 21, 2014
Oct 21, 2014 at 7:52 PM UTC
Eradication
I keep finding bullets stuck between my teeth The same ones you bought the day you decided the ceiling would look better covered in blood. Maybe that’s why everything I say sounds like it’s is trying to **** me. But what do you do when you stand in front of a mirror with a gun to your head and your reflection smiles back at you? What do you do When you stand in the middle of a busy road And every driver is a different version of yourself you’ve tried to **** Every version of yourself No one could love. My mother used to get in fist fights with the mirror and expect to win She says I look just like her Maybe that’s why I wake up and can’t recognize who I am. I checked the obituaries this morning Trying to find myself again It’s a habit I picked up from you But I never thought your name would end up there before mine. Sometimes I imagine what death feels like Sometimes I imagine kissing you instead By now it feels like I’m imagining the same thing. Someone once told me that begging you to come home Isn’t the same as praying Maybe that’s why God stopped listening and started smashing the windows of every place I thought we could be happy in. Your smile looked a lot like the light at the end of the tunnel Right before the train hits you. I used to squint my eyes when I looked at you Like I was looking at the sun Or a car accident I wanted to be part of I’m sorry I ever thought you could be anything ugly to me You were the only beautiful thing in this hideous place. I couldn't look at you clearly, because I knew I would see my own face staring back at me and your eyes were the only place I never wanted to be dead inside of. You can only break your knuckles so many times Before you cant hold yourself together anymore. My hands haven’t stopped shaking since you left I don’t know how to tell them you’re not coming back. See, I used to say I never wanted to end up like my father Now I have to say I never want to end up like you, Which means I can’t leave without saying goodbye But I tried to write my eulogy last night And realized it's hard to write about someone I never knew.
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46
It was hard to miss Jerry in the corner holding court over the bran muffin. Flurries of judgement and wisdom flying across coffee dappled pages as he sentenced a large cup of Paruvian Dark Roast to be ****** 7 am Dan never flinched steeling his tenured chair at a spot one section of stir sticks away calculably just out of reach of the regularly scheduled tantrum. An auburn-haired newbie fanes camoflage peeking over two pages of Obituaries she never intended to read. Her raised and nearly detached eyebrows hover above the dateline like a magic trick. And on every table fall scattered leaves of press print trees unsorted and littered with intent by careless absorbers of trivia. Disconnected ear-budded footnotes of humanity see nothing hear nothing using the disarrayed World News as enormous coasters unmoved by hyper-ventilating compulsives pushing panic buttons through desperate quests to uncover one alphabetically organized set of local news. Of the papers not strewn the remnant holds anxious on a distant wall a throng of flopping rabbit-eared step children dangling precariously from unaccomodating magazine racks like smoky orphans from windows in a fiery building. Disordered. Disrespected. Discarded...words are Jews in the holocaust. Death of a voice. We are irreverent in our silence diminishing genius through apathy put off by the imposition to be challenged choosing disposable principles above responsible knowledge. Everything is disposable - cameras, cars, relationships, loyalty, babies...and wisdom - crumpling Pulitzer prize authors and discarding WW2 veterans just to get to the cartoons.
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Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 11:15 PM UTC
Daily News and Disrespect
It was hard to miss Jerry in the corner holding court over the bran muffin. Flurries of judgement and wisdom flying across coffee dappled pages as he sentenced a large cup of Paruvian Dark Roast to be ****** 7 am Dan never flinched steeling his tenured chair at a spot one section of stir sticks away calculably just out of reach of the regularly scheduled tantrum. An auburn-haired newbie fanes camoflage peeking over two pages of Obituaries she never intended to read. Her raised and nearly detached eyebrows hover above the dateline like a magic trick. And on every table fall scattered leaves of press print trees unsorted and littered with intent by careless absorbers of trivia. Disconnected ear-budded footnotes of humanity see nothing hear nothing using the disarrayed World News as enormous coasters unmoved by hyper-ventilating compulsives pushing panic buttons through desperate quests to uncover one alphabetically organized set of local news. Of the papers not strewn the remnant holds anxious on a distant wall a throng of flopping rabbit-eared step children dangling precariously from unaccomodating magazine racks like smoky orphans from windows in a fiery building. Disordered. Disrespected. Discarded...words are Jews in the holocaust. Death of a voice. We are irreverent in our silence diminishing genius through apathy put off by the imposition to be challenged choosing disposable principles above responsible knowledge. Everything is disposable - cameras, cars, relationships, loyalty, babies...and wisdom - crumpling Pulitzer prize authors and discarding WW2 veterans just to get to the cartoons.
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62
(Published in Miami Herald on May 26, 2014 Brigitte Jacobs Arnold Obituary Guest Book View Sign ARNOLD, BRIGITTE JACOBS, 78, MIAMI. Services will be held at 7:00 pm and a viewing from 12:00 pm to 8:00pm at Maspons Funeral Home located at 3500 SW 8th Street, Miami Florida 33135 Wednesday May 28th.) Don’t ask me why but I went online this afternoon. Read the Miami-Herald obituaries. And not just the Biggies: Maya Angelou at 86 and A one hundred year old Herb Jeffries. Of course we knew Maya, Her caged bird singing Softly in our souls, But may not be aware of Herb Jeffries. A former singer in the Ellington band, Herb was known as the Bronze Buckaroo, In a series of all-black 1930s Westerns-- His nickname evoking His racial identity, Quite muddled, flexible. Although both sad passages to be sure, It was neither Maya nor Herb Triggering my tender tears. But the obituary of: ARNOLD, BRIGITTE JACOBS, 78, MIAMI, Known as Oma, Mutti and Mama. Well, not exactly the Brigitte obit, My tears for her long-lived mother, Brigitte’s mother, durable & abiding, Still breathing at 97: Hildegard Wolle. Reading Brigitte’s bio— German born, Berlin student, Singer-fashionista & Proud, naturalized American citizen— I can’t stop thinking about Hildegard. As if the woman didn’t already Have more than her share of trouble On this planet nearly a century, Having already lost her Grandson Roland, and now, Her daughter. Something wacky is going on here. Some long-distance life lesson Being applied here. Poor Hildegard: ungifted with Alzheimer’s, Suffers crystal distant memories, Some really bad karma Stored up in past lives.
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May 28, 2014
May 28, 2014 at 3:54 PM UTC
“Miami Death Watch”
(Published in Miami Herald on May 26, 2014 Brigitte Jacobs Arnold Obituary Guest Book View Sign ARNOLD, BRIGITTE JACOBS, 78, MIAMI. Services will be held at 7:00 pm and a viewing from 12:00 pm to 8:00pm at Maspons Funeral Home located at 3500 SW 8th Street, Miami Florida 33135 Wednesday May 28th.) Don’t ask me why but I went online this afternoon. Read the Miami-Herald obituaries. And not just the Biggies: Maya Angelou at 86 and A one hundred year old Herb Jeffries. Of course we knew Maya, Her caged bird singing Softly in our souls, But may not be aware of Herb Jeffries. A former singer in the Ellington band, Herb was known as the Bronze Buckaroo, In a series of all-black 1930s Westerns-- His nickname evoking His racial identity, Quite muddled, flexible. Although both sad passages to be sure, It was neither Maya nor Herb Triggering my tender tears. But the obituary of: ARNOLD, BRIGITTE JACOBS, 78, MIAMI, Known as Oma, Mutti and Mama. Well, not exactly the Brigitte obit, My tears for her long-lived mother, Brigitte’s mother, durable & abiding, Still breathing at 97: Hildegard Wolle. Reading Brigitte’s bio— German born, Berlin student, Singer-fashionista & Proud, naturalized American citizen— I can’t stop thinking about Hildegard. As if the woman didn’t already Have more than her share of trouble On this planet nearly a century, Having already lost her Grandson Roland, and now, Her daughter. Something wacky is going on here. Some long-distance life lesson Being applied here. Poor Hildegard: ungifted with Alzheimer’s, Suffers crystal distant memories, Some really bad karma Stored up in past lives.
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48
All of you. Where do you get off making a name for yourself out of the mockery in fallen heroes’ hearts? What’s in a name; that which we call "a genius" by another label would be found on the front page of the obituaries. And now, what? Where do you go from the top, looking down on those you trampled on the way with some false sense of humility? How we perceive you now is like that of a crime lord; envious, never aspirational. Might as well call it a day and take note of the fallacy that is fame and fortune.
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Feb 27, 2016
Feb 27, 2016 at 7:57 PM UTC
Bullies.
the newspaper spread out like a tablecloth obituaries on one side comics on the other the dead smiling the comics tragic black white gray world made of fuzzy dots an obsolete medium ready to line the bottom of the song bird’s cage a nightingale whose love call goes unanswered
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Sep 12, 2025
Sep 12, 2025 at 1:10 AM UTC
song bird’s cage
If you're a writer your main trade is hating yourself and finding ways to be clever about it. Smoke cigar and coffee-stained typewriters, bachelor in the sixties, suicide in the seventies. I'm just a cliché, raining cats and dogs, beating dead horses and singing a little song about death a little song about love there is nothing new under the sun. Dylan doesn't understand what you do is better than accounting, your trade is people like stock markets- string them up and watch them fall I play with hearts, you say like a girl showing off her somersaults in the backyard. But no one is listening. … … … So you burn your eyes out with hot wax in the living room and swear your name is Icarus throw your diploma into the laundry and watch it turn into tissue paper, taking moonlight walks down the beach and straight into the bottom of the ocean. (you thought she would hit you when you told her you wanted to write but she only laughed... and you were surprised how much it hurt.) Your father's pride, a phone full of contacts, seeing straight in the ******* morning and the heart of a girl that was once foolish enough to love nitroglycerine, sold for a bottle of ink and a scrap of paper and your name in the obituaries. ... ... ... Tell yourself it was worth it.
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Jan 19, 2019
Jan 19, 2019 at 1:44 AM UTC
Sellout
I just want to know that if I died tonight who would cry tomorrow who would stand in the cold and listen to the minister speak on my behalf who would write letters to my parents, apologizing who would leave bouquets of pretty flowers at my tombstone who would stand tall, sturdy as stone and suffer in silence who would morn for a day then go about their lives who would see it in the obituaries and shrug who would only notice after a month or three or twelve or seventeen how many strangers wouldn't care? I wonder.
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Oct 29, 2013
Oct 29, 2013 at 7:14 PM UTC
Diamond in the Rough
I have been licking the cream off The nothing I was forced to cook from the book I bought. I am Charles Bukowski waiting to rupture, And tumble into forces of uncontrolled madness. I dinge into fleeting, changing rooms And become pages of yellowing, worm-books. I write my own obituaries, each for a different Person I have lived. I make love twice every week, And keep a count of how many times He calls out someone else’s name. I caution into keeping everything beautiful to myself. I cup my hands and keep passion in my hidden chest, And lock my doors with the only key there is. I dine alone, I read in hushed whispers over single-serving thoughts. And sleep where no one can put an arm around my waist, And undulate the black-flavoured dreams I so carefully reared. There is only one victory, There is only one woman in the world. It is I. It is I. It is I.
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Jun 18, 2013
Jun 18, 2013 at 4:05 PM UTC
Microwave cooking for one
She's in parties & knees-up She's half-seas over & in the king's cup She's in missionary She's in backwards She's on backseats & dashboards She's in fast lanes & intersections She's in full throttle & Hail Marys She's in obituaries & cemeteries
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Jun 21, 2020
Jun 21, 2020 at 8:38 AM UTC
She's in Parties
The lights on the Welsh coastline shine Her whiskey days are full of ink & broken milk bottles, a grief so hidden it’s barely there to be read as her plight The Army took her boys & never gave them back but she only ever cries when she’s chopping onions at night & reading the obituaries in the newspapers at night she prays to Angels up on high but never goes to Church on Sundays not since the Vicar told her it was all for the best & they had done their bit the country should be proud of them -she finds no comfort in such things
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Aug 20, 2015
Aug 20, 2015 at 7:26 PM UTC
Grief
three of four funerals gun collection, gun long narrow boxes in the trunk of my first car Dad’s dad, Bergen-Belsen, babbling Dad’s mom, floorboards Mom’s dad, collectibles Mom’s mom, alcoholic obituaries, guns, boxes, garages adults, guns, St. Peter, Joni Dad’s dad, lessons, dreams Dad’s mom, cabbage recipe Mom’s dad, extra hugs Mom’s mom, low blows memories, value, months A pawn shop good rate moral boundaries: kids on the street, no parents
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Aug 30, 2012
Aug 30, 2012 at 5:26 PM UTC
The Gun Collection
Let the tears flow and let the guns go. If men start crying, we'll stop dying and the killings in the hood would cease. The prisons would be empty of angry men.....because they've finally found a release. If men start crying we'll stop dying and take our rightful place as the head. No more negative views, news or obituaries to be read. If men start crying we'll stop dying and now I'm on my knees.....praying for my life, but not from a gang of thieves. If men start crying, we'll stop dying because we're no longer afraid......about the misconceptions about men that have been made. If men start crying, we'll stop dying and hiding behind this wall of pride......so much hurt inside .....I need a life preserver to prepare me for this ride. If men start crying, we'll stop dying A canoe full of emotions traveling to and fro, but I've held them in so long that I'm about to blow. If men start crying, we'll stop dying Do you know what I've been through? It wasn't a pleasant ride...but God knew what to do. Jesus loved the world and he cried for it too. The Perfect one showing me exactly what to do. If men start crying, we'll stop dying and become the leaders that God has called us to be. We'll be the voice of reason instead of the negative images often displayed on TV. IF MEN START CRYING, WE'LL STOP DYING. John 11:35 Jesus wept.
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Oct 7, 2012
Oct 7, 2012 at 2:27 PM UTC
If men start crying.....
Last night I lifted my head to the sky seemingly not so far away like my dog on the porch listening to the songs of the frogs singing up a storm I asked her, sweet mutt of mine to interpret their words and she looked at me as if to say just listen my friend they sing of the wind and the pines the ocean that great saltwater dish where we were born and the coming of a great tide and how we should be more kind to our Mother the Earth tomorrow on her Birthday they sing instructions and warnings of obituaries heard in a thunderous warming then she sighed and closed her eyes thumping her tail in time with the chorous as the moon raised his great blind eye up over the forest.
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Apr 22, 2017
Apr 22, 2017 at 8:28 AM UTC
Song of the frogs last night as interpreted by my good friend Daisy
Shiny black spit-shined shoes on the walk in the Memorial Gardens hurt my feet to look at their stiffness and his swollen ankles in them. His worn and creased pants too short, belt buckle aligned dress-right-dress with the button fold of his shirt. He wore an old faded USMC campaign hat pulled down almost to his white eyebrows. Almost comically. I pitied him in the way we sometimes do the old who mumble, never knowing just who they are talking to. I heard Inchon mentioned, and Chosin a time or two, and every time he said *Puller knew, yeah, Chesty knew*. I quit taking my lunch with a book in the Garden when he stopped coming around and after I saw his picture in the obituaries with a description of how he won his Silver Star and two Purple Hearts; wishing now I had listened closer. More’s the pity I never spoke to him. r ~ 6/27/14
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Jun 27, 2014
Jun 27, 2014 at 11:28 AM UTC
More's the pity
Doth thou knoweth what's awakening to thine being as a whole? Whenever opening up, the second new's section; Reading all of the obituaries Seeing all the hundred's of departed soul's. ©Brandon nagley ©Lonesome poet's poetry
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Aug 19, 2015
Aug 19, 2015 at 2:44 PM UTC
Departed awakening's
soap and water           dishes           laundry           or shower brick from mortar boys against girls urban velvet smog city vapors clog this train -- there is a line         beginners         quitters this parking lot -- there is a line         shoppers         influencers open bar pharmacy, bottled water                   no pity                   no guarantees dragon chasers chin music                    lapsed short term memory loss opening mail for grandmother                 the obituaries                 that ****** fly a discussion among men about a woman's voice            come sit and listen one last cigarette couple walking home through the park                driving alone in the dark                              on the heels of                              a reflection                              of Christ                              or an hourglass                              in remission them or not them        just arrived        just married too many stairs not enough elevators worry about it later them, definitely them sharing beds       under the leotard       under the candlelight a helping hand finely manicured fingers one stationary         then two in missionary word upon words need aspirin             orchestrate             headache                             pillow is the threshold                             tomorrow...soap and water
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Mar 17, 2024
Mar 17, 2024 at 10:13 PM UTC
Poem For An Ordinary Day
soap and water           dishes           laundry           or shower brick from mortar boys against girls urban velvet smog city vapors clog this train -- there is a line         beginners         quitters this parking lot -- there is a line         shoppers         influencers open bar pharmacy, bottled water                   no pity                   no guarantees dragon chasers chin music                    lapsed short term memory loss opening mail for grandmother                 the obituaries                 that ****** fly a discussion among men about a woman's voice            come sit and listen one last cigarette couple walking home through the park                driving alone in the dark                              on the heels of                              a reflection                              of Christ                              or an hourglass                              in remission them or not them        just arrived        just married too many stairs not enough elevators worry about it later them, definitely them sharing beds       under the leotard       under the candlelight a helping hand finely manicured fingers one stationary         then two in missionary word upon words need aspirin             orchestrate             headache                             pillow is the threshold                             tomorrow...soap and water
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53
I was alarmed as nobody paid attention to me: if there was a Plan B - it was to die - dramatically. A hangman’s halter I took to  swing snapped and failed my neck to wring. Then I drank of hemlock deep: all it did was make me sleep. Wide awake I’d somehow made it back I laid me down  on a railway  track Alas! never once was I alerted all trains had been diverted. It seemed a good idea to me to drown myself in the Dead Sea: buoyant in such drink, I did not think no swimmer  there is known to sink From a high rise parapet I dropped over and landed in a cushioned bed of clover. I tried to cut my jugulars  but By Heck! the blade was blunt and just grazed my neck. A contract killer - hired off the shelf - took the money then shot himself after stating though he’s willing I was not worth the killing. By now getting frantic on the internet I met a tantric guru whose advised me tarry “All I needed was to marry… …It is a kind of death, all  near and dear pity you - but it’s clear you get everybody’s attention and in obituaries never a mention”. . Tobias
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May 31, 2019
May 31, 2019 at 6:35 AM UTC
Getting Attention...
In a certain sense, you’re right I led you on I pulled the strings that guided your actions Upon movie dates and way too many dinners I could feel your feelings flail at me every time I drove you home You were happy you found me… Then the conversations slowly stopped I stopped seeing you I stopped answering calls I stopped responding to texts I stopped existing in your life I stopped becoming a name in your daily sentences You were sold on the idea that once I had *** with you multiple times That my quest was over. My Journey was complete Now I can fall down this empty pit And be open to all the slurs and hatred you flail at me like used-to-be feelings This is how you feel This is how I am.. I stopped the war in our relationship So I could focus on the Genocide that was constantly raging in my brain every time I was with you felt your heart beat and noticed it wasn’t in rhythm with mine Like hers used to be… Once upon an October I lost love Regained it Then was murdered by it in the summer Although my name wasn’t in the obituaries If there was a news paper for body parts That’s where you’d find my heart When she left I took her face Like a serial killer I ripped it off and tried to mask it over All the girls that wanted to show me love on the weekends They couldn’t fit her dress They couldn’t fit her shoes They couldn’t fit her smile They couldn’t fit her body You beautiful girls mean nothing to me In the end Yeah, I left you Because I’m not a kid I can’t keep playing pretend You cried, yelled and slapped me Yeah, I wanted to hit you back For not understanding So, This goes to all of you When you see me out about swept up in the nightlife that this town brings Focus on the different girls that are at my side And crop them out Take a copy from my past and paste it on my present Call me a man ***** Sometimes I can’t take it I try and find lost love in pointless *** Call me a **** That’s what you think I am I haven't told anyone how haunted my brain is because of her Call me an ******* Because I left when you needed me the most Which I guess is worse than being connected to a lie detector And asked the question, “Do you love her?” Do you want proof on paper Made from scratches about how much I don’t love you Call me insane Because I can’t let go of the past and everything In my brain is pulsing because I still picture her in dreams Or you can call me a child Because I still like to play pretend
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Dec 28, 2010
Dec 28, 2010 at 1:37 AM UTC
The Confession of A(n) Asshole/Douche bag/Dick/ etc...
In a certain sense, you’re right I led you on I pulled the strings that guided your actions Upon movie dates and way too many dinners I could feel your feelings flail at me every time I drove you home You were happy you found me… Then the conversations slowly stopped I stopped seeing you I stopped answering calls I stopped responding to texts I stopped existing in your life I stopped becoming a name in your daily sentences You were sold on the idea that once I had *** with you multiple times That my quest was over. My Journey was complete Now I can fall down this empty pit And be open to all the slurs and hatred you flail at me like used-to-be feelings This is how you feel This is how I am.. I stopped the war in our relationship So I could focus on the Genocide that was constantly raging in my brain every time I was with you felt your heart beat and noticed it wasn’t in rhythm with mine Like hers used to be… Once upon an October I lost love Regained it Then was murdered by it in the summer Although my name wasn’t in the obituaries If there was a news paper for body parts That’s where you’d find my heart When she left I took her face Like a serial killer I ripped it off and tried to mask it over All the girls that wanted to show me love on the weekends They couldn’t fit her dress They couldn’t fit her shoes They couldn’t fit her smile They couldn’t fit her body You beautiful girls mean nothing to me In the end Yeah, I left you Because I’m not a kid I can’t keep playing pretend You cried, yelled and slapped me Yeah, I wanted to hit you back For not understanding So, This goes to all of you When you see me out about swept up in the nightlife that this town brings Focus on the different girls that are at my side And crop them out Take a copy from my past and paste it on my present Call me a man ***** Sometimes I can’t take it I try and find lost love in pointless *** Call me a **** That’s what you think I am I haven't told anyone how haunted my brain is because of her Call me an ******* Because I left when you needed me the most Which I guess is worse than being connected to a lie detector And asked the question, “Do you love her?” Do you want proof on paper Made from scratches about how much I don’t love you Call me insane Because I can’t let go of the past and everything In my brain is pulsing because I still picture her in dreams Or you can call me a child Because I still like to play pretend
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66
The greatest thing about the Internet Is that we’re all writing our own obituaries So selfie posters, pose on Blog enthusiasts, report and indulge Instafoodie, snap before consumption Because these are the things that will mark our lives After we decay Media has longevity Circuits survive
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Mar 28, 2014
Mar 28, 2014 at 3:51 PM UTC
Untitled
~ *Wake, no wake He dreams of obituaries And toe tagging Exhuming dearly departed dollars And biting the nails Of his cadavers Forensically speaking He can talk of the dead He's one lucky stiff Pushing up daisies All over the yard Of his rose cottage This life at rainbow's end Each day mortiferously expires It's all there in the brochure* ~
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Jul 19, 2021
Jul 19, 2021 at 8:44 AM UTC
The Undertaker
That kiss that burned one Tuesday, four a.m., Won't make it into any bulletin, Nor that flicker-flash of  bird, that garden time, Nor his shameful need, nor the white wine Left in the glass, obituaries of hours Unmourned at cards, some ode to spring Her blinking heart sang, nor childish chores Of Sundays drained. Not light. Not anything. No and no and no. Dim and dim, A vacant voice pronounces prayers at him While worlds wane small as words some woman said Meant hope or love. Then no one else is there Who peers through dark. Who weeps, or blanks of care, Or hardly knows him, writing he is dead.
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Apr 16, 2011
Apr 16, 2011 at 6:43 AM UTC
Broken Birdsong, Pity, Demons Dream
Mirrors recur here frequently In verse and lyric. I'm reading obituaries and Seeing pictures of what will be. Death recurs here frequently, And pain, lots of it. Broken people too. It's like we're ambulance chasers, ****** reporters running down a story.
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May 25, 2014
May 25, 2014 at 10:33 PM UTC
Ambulance Chasers
I'll miss the day we were crawling down main-street at 4 a.m after we slept in the guest house and danced to CCR. Tossing our beer cans in the neighbor's trash, and singing with every molecule of our bodies at the passing train that deafened us from 20 feet away. We ran wild beneath the overpass, climbing the engines lying dormant on the tracks, pretending we could fuel them up ride across the nation in a rusted box car write our names between the colors of illegible graffiti and shout against the wind as we rolled through the hills. And what a shame we didn't chase that passing train the way we could have. What a shame we didn't let it carry us away with nothing but our flannel jackets and cut off shorts, the lighter in my pocket, and the thirst for a nice adventure. We sauntered back to the diner, exhausted by the scenery and faces, our buzzes vanishing to the neon signs of bars, seven bars on one street, and the smell of coffee as the elderly hobbled in with the morning paper clutched between arthritic fingers. Tomorrow, and everyday after, a train will pass through town at 4:45 a.m. and I can hop on the caboose any day I desire. Each birthday slithers by, flicking it's tongue in my direction, tasting my youth. And I glance again at the disintegrating old man sitting alone in the window booth wearing the face of a jailed old bird with clipped wings and the grievous expression of an ***** gent. He would pass one day, leaving a dusty, crumbling shanty to his children, a box of crinkled newspaper clippings full of obituaries, and an empty seat in the booth by the window, where someday I will collapse in the a.m. take my coffee black and cut my husband's name from the paper, wishing I was on that train shedding this loose blotchy skin for the rough hands I had the day I chased the engine to the edge of town and regretted the moment that I turned around and came home.
0
Dec 19, 2013
Dec 19, 2013 at 5:44 AM UTC
I'll unchain myself one day. (A personal little rant about this sinkhole we call home)
I'll miss the day we were crawling down main-street at 4 a.m after we slept in the guest house and danced to CCR. Tossing our beer cans in the neighbor's trash, and singing with every molecule of our bodies at the passing train that deafened us from 20 feet away. We ran wild beneath the overpass, climbing the engines lying dormant on the tracks, pretending we could fuel them up ride across the nation in a rusted box car write our names between the colors of illegible graffiti and shout against the wind as we rolled through the hills. And what a shame we didn't chase that passing train the way we could have. What a shame we didn't let it carry us away with nothing but our flannel jackets and cut off shorts, the lighter in my pocket, and the thirst for a nice adventure. We sauntered back to the diner, exhausted by the scenery and faces, our buzzes vanishing to the neon signs of bars, seven bars on one street, and the smell of coffee as the elderly hobbled in with the morning paper clutched between arthritic fingers. Tomorrow, and everyday after, a train will pass through town at 4:45 a.m. and I can hop on the caboose any day I desire. Each birthday slithers by, flicking it's tongue in my direction, tasting my youth. And I glance again at the disintegrating old man sitting alone in the window booth wearing the face of a jailed old bird with clipped wings and the grievous expression of an ***** gent. He would pass one day, leaving a dusty, crumbling shanty to his children, a box of crinkled newspaper clippings full of obituaries, and an empty seat in the booth by the window, where someday I will collapse in the a.m. take my coffee black and cut my husband's name from the paper, wishing I was on that train shedding this loose blotchy skin for the rough hands I had the day I chased the engine to the edge of town and regretted the moment that I turned around and came home.
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50
Yesterday My classmate died In a hit and run. I scour the local obituaries, And yet I cannot find his name. Though I knew little of him, I have little reason to forget him. Perhaps, if I grow older I will stand at his grave And somberly ponder At that epitaph of squandered youth.
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Aug 31, 2020
Aug 31, 2020 at 3:05 PM UTC
Hit and run