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heliophile Apr 2014
I only ever knew how to love with my chest open and my fists clenched
and when you were younger,
you were told that your heart was the shape and size of a fist
so you grew up using it like one.

So that night when I couldn’t stop thinking about
yellow jeeps
yellow motorcycles
and yellow packs of American Spirits
and how the man attached to them turned me into a natural disaster,
you pulled me into you

You showed me the most sacred parts of you
You made me feel beautiful even when I felt like nothing
You injected sun into my veins
My favorite planetarium was the one inside your head
I wanted to kiss the gravity out of you so you would stop throwing yourself down cliffs
Our lips touched and I tasted sunlight
You broke open my ribcage and planted a garden in me
I never knew what I was but broken but I loved what I was with you
I had never seen a brighter shade of sun.

And now, despite all that love
you look at me like I’m a crime scene.
Unable to sort your genuine fascination
from your pure distain

Ya know there’s something about being in love that’s good for your hands
but leaves a sour taste in your mouth
It makes you wonder if she was truly glitter
or just dust in the sunlight.

There was something about how you reeked of too much alcohol
and three AM promises that made me think twice
but I completely fell for you anyway
Your drunken slurs consisted of
“I love you’s”,
shaking hands,
wet, lingering kisses,
and the sound of touching teeth
because our passion would not allow us to love gracefully
But I can’t make you love me if you don’t.
All I can do is let you know that
without you
dawn doesn’t just break, it crumbles in two
and night doesn’t just fall, it jumps.

That night you say you felt like a plane crash
but I had never felt more hauntingly alive

Darling we wear tragedy so well

You taught me why hurricanes are named after people
and now I’m breaking into a thousand thunderstorms
and you refuse to even step outside
You ripped through my life recklessly like a tsunami
not caring how long it would take me to clean up the mess
and heartbreak you left trailing behind you

So now were just two earthquake girls
waiting for another disaster to come shake our world

-

But if this is what you want,
then I want you to have it
You deserve to be happy
you deserve everything beautiful that this world has to offer,
even if that’s not me anymore

So I hope he takes you on picnics
I hope he listens to your metronome heart
and is rendered speechless
I hope he looks at you like a
blind man seeing the sun for the first time
I hope he heals your fragile, breaking hands
I hope he gives you all that I could not.

If this is what you really want
if this is what makes you the happiest
then I can hold you no more than I can hold the setting sun
Kay-Ann Dec 2013
The love of darkness or night
This is precisely what I adore
The dark is where i erase my plight
Where my dreams and aspirations take flight
Where I undress my conscience and make love to my thoughts
I don't quite know how or why
But everything seems right when it's dark
It's a hidden land of castles and fairy tales
Where everybody is loved the way they should
and everything makes sense
And that's all I ever really craved
So even when it's daylight
My mind is as dark as the midnight sky
with infinite thoughts like the stars

Nyctophilia - grammatically a noun but could it be used as an adjective?
Ask me how I'm doing and I might say "I'm feeling very nyctophiliac today"
Nyctophilia- it's ironic how at night when most humans are sound asleep
it's the time when I feel most alive
Nyctophilia- it explains more of me than I'd ever be able to
So with that being said
Let darkness fall.
Awsaaf Ali May 2014
Waiting for the day to cease,
Where I shall hug you in your nothingness,
Knowing that you're absent of light, nonetheless.
Everyday you die,
I wait in the corner, shattered, broken and paralyzed with grief,
Till you reincarnate into yourself,
And for that love you give.
I touch every part of your body,
But then I haven't even touched a little part of your body.
Fading I am, and going into you,
For the sake of the promise that I made to you,
For acquiring the bliss of your kiss, in turn,
My love, I am walking away into the land of no return!

II

Eyelids move up and I breath,
And I try to rise,
To make love to you, I seek the price,
All around my coffin till the heaven's door,
As I walk, about you, I adore,
To the angels and the souls of dead fish at the shore,
Now plodded a moment,
When with you, I'm totally done,
Under the rays of sun,
Where you vanish more and more,
When the soul of mine recalls,
Recalls of you being a *****!
RAL Dobbins May 2014
I stand amongst, under my feet, my leaves of last year's death toll.
The dried old leaves of my own yore, to which belongs the great sea of mold.

Today and tomorrow, as I grow older, there is a shriveling in my head.
With each day next, I'll surely step, my stomach fills with dread.

Softly I stand, plainly in the ground, between the shadow and the trees.
My feet don't make a sound, and my breath is held at ease.

Now, I 'am a Nyctophiliac; a lover of the night,
I have watched false stars begin to rise, and sing louder than the light.
Ava May Jan 2020
nyctophilia: The love of darkness, or feeling you belong in the dark.

The dark that is where you will find me. I let the darkness grasp me in its arm and hold me tight until i’m suffocating within its touch. The darkness shields out the light of tomorrow that i do not think i can live for. The dark holds my hand as my mind wonders all the realms of this awful humanity. The darkness is okay with my sobs. The darkness is okay with the bruises and scars. The darkness doesn’t judge when you are struggling to breathe. The darkness allows you not to see yourself in that horrid mirror anymore. The darkness directs you to that doorknob by your closet. The darkness directs you to the gun downstairs. The darkness directs you to all the pills. The darkness gives you the okay. I guess you could say I’m a nyctophiliac. You can find me in the dark.

— The End —