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observation
lady in red
imagination
in my head
flirtation
“someone said,
in a book I read,
that men are misled:
beauty kills us dead.”
frustration
get out of my head!
jubilation
“To where shall we head?”
hesitation
“my creaky twin
or a hotel bed?”
migration
our minds are led
by hurried legs
pulsation
as her lips, red,
push me to the bed
excitation
tinged with dread
salivation
ventilation
transpiration
saturation
ejaculation­
annihilation
Rapped version: https://vimeo.com/286097673
Vera Jul 21
Clothes have outgrown me many times over,
but this sadness never does.
One size.
fits all.
There should have been an obituary for cancer,  not you.
Wishing these slits within my skin could have been
replaced by a reality check from you, “You chose to exist, Kamryn.”

My name causes a sigh to escape from lips,
that do not feel like they belong to me,
the girl,
whose words always had to be special.

The schematics of hospitals like a birthmark in my brain,
born into sadness, a gut feeling as a child.
Never trusting time
due to what it delivers.

Death, being the only thing I desired.
But you, 
who I love,
endlessly-
robbed by it.
Whose ebb for life glowed so feverishly.
Stopped comparing depression to lace,
restricted the belief that suicide is poetic,
seeing things as they were.
More often than not, applauded for feeling emotions deeply.
Every second that dies, the shift of my heart quakes.

This world is not tender.

II. Sad.
I have known the flowers I wanted at my own premature funeral,
knowing how many bouquets honored you that day.

split open my veins like a dimension
reminiscent of days where I anticipated deathbeds.


My family wondered,
can we make it through another day?
Death scares me for what it has taken,
yet, I’m not afraid to die-
it’s all I deserve.
So I await the day pain erupts
from my throat,
acknowledging the days a soul
lived inside of my body-
footprints that walked,
belonging to me.

But I learned so well.
How to suffer with a smile,
dreading the beating of my heart
how unfair—
I don’t want to take these deep breaths
You deserved,while I masquerade as a member of the undead
Never outgrowing the desire to rot with the phantoms residing under my bed.


III. Jokes played by the universe.
punchlines delivered,
how could anyone to stand to be in the same room as myself?
How could anyone look over skyscrapers and sunsets,
and not be infatuated with concrete consuming them?
How I shared a sigh of relief during the thought-
of knowing people would thrive without me,
or the power of a belly laugh,
resembling a laugh track audience
drowning out 3 AM suicidal thoughts.
I wrote this in pink gel pen, maybe, that’s another joke.
Lin Jul 22
I think we all feel useless sometimes.
Like another gluttonous body
over populating the planet
thinking we give meaning to
already fully functional things.
The frustration of the mystery
of life consumes us.
We become obsessive in the thought
that we don't matter.
We think of leaving.

I'm a realist.
I don't entertain arrogant ideas
that small coincidences add up
to act as a "sign".
But,
today I woke from a sleepless night
at 5 am and started cleaning my room.
Deep cleaning.
I found this.
Read it.
And cried.
It was an old birthday card
my sister had written to me.
"Happy 21st birthday! Here are 21 reasons I Love You"
as I sat down to take in this moment I heard
the lyrics playing in the background
on my Pandora radio:  
"stay alive".

Please,
If you read anything today;
if you need any kind of sign
read this:  
stay alive.

Thank you Hamilton radio on Pandora.

Thank you sister.
love depression me you saving save hurt pain poem poetry trending daily
Corey Mar 2017
I.
I wait for you in the dark.
My thoughts creeping in the shadows
waiting for the opportune time to pounce.
4:13am they attack.
I don't know what their goal is
or why they think
they have any control over me.
But without you to scare them away,
my mind is nothing but helpless prey.

II.
I hear the ocean waves
clawing at the shore,
begging for him to take her back.
I see myself on many days
seeking for release,
and for the knowledge that I lack.
Asking day after day,
"How do I keep these demons away?"

III.
Pandora's box
held back the evils of the world.
My blue box
holds back the evils of your love.
Pandora's box
was opened leaving only Hope inside.
Mine opens
showing me where those evils reside.
Now more like a gene trapped
than Pandora's without a lock;
I hold all these evils caged,
but they still scream through the box.

IV.
The girl with the candy cigarette
picking the dandelions
asked for a story most unique.
I looked at her and told her
the one about Apate,
the god of fraud and deceit.

V.
The bird away from the flock
begs to be back with its family.
A genius begs to be normal.
"Get me another beer."
Over and over again I beg.
"Another round."
"Just one more."
"Get me another beer."

VI.
My house is full of many things,
but my home is all but empty.

VII.
I look through pictures
that once asked to be printed.
Now I ask them to be deleted,
but no matter how hard I beg
I simply cannot let myself do it.

VIII.
I climbed to the roof of Africa
and stared the stars in their eyes.
I asked of love and got silence returned.
Of life and got nothing learned.
Of pain and got no relief.
Of you and got nothing but grief.

IX.
The fan dries my throat over night
the same way you did the love of my life.

X.
Would your eyes glimmer and weaken
if I uttered the word cancer;
If I told you the very reason
was the cigarette you once lit
when you told me
I wasn't what you believe in.

XI.
The spark lights up this darkened place.
Instant, and quickly gone.
The thunder booms from miles away.
Lost, but still living alone.
Rain trickles on window panes.
A storm long gone,
but still calling my name.

XII.
Rejoice. Rejoice. Rejoice.
I think to our time together.
Relive. Re-lust. Revive.
I wish for a better story,
a better memory for me to treasure.

XIII.
Exhausted from the night
but the morning brings no light.
When I think of you,
I'm lost.
Memories flood the road
bringing the ground underneath
with it.
Exhausted from the day
but the night wont take it away.
JB May 30
Remember? When I was JailBait?
You bit that hook

—even
dropped the line off
the side of

some fucking dinghy...


some inflatable dick sucking
joke that I took...


Smile on my face as I

                         wait...
                         can’t you taste:
                                the blood?


notes of cherry blossom,
    a bearskin rug,


RAIN
+
——
+
++
PINE
nade Sep 5
We'll meet in the middle of nowhere
A place where only we know
With a secret route, we call it.

We'll meet in the middle of nowhere
A place where we plant sunflower seeds
With an untold feel, we call it.

We'll meet in the middle of nowhere
A place where bunch of monkeys live
With two monkeys telling jokes, we call it.

We'll meet in the middle of nowhere
A place where sand and saltwater meet
With us singing our songs, we call it.

And we'll meet in the middle of nowhere
A place where there's no one knowing us
With me and you, we name it.
he'll understand
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