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Vera Jul 21
Clothes have outgrown me many times over,
but this sadness never does.
One size.
fits all.
There should have been an obituary for cancer,  not you.
Wishing these slits within my skin could have been
replaced by a reality check from you, “You chose to exist.”

My name causes a sigh to escape from lips,
that do not feel like they belong to me,
the girl,
whose words always had to be special.

The schematics of hospitals like a birthmark in my brain,
born into sadness, a gut feeling as a child.
Never trusting time
due to what it delivers.

Death, being the only thing I desired.
But you, 
who I love,
endlessly-
robbed by it.
Whose ebb for life glowed so feverishly.
Stopped comparing depression to lace,
restricted the belief that suicide is poetic,
seeing things as they were.
More often than not, applauded for feeling emotions deeply.
Every second that dies, the shift of my heart quakes.

This world is not tender.

II. Sad.
I have known the flowers I wanted at my own premature funeral,
knowing how many bouquets honored you that day.

split open my veins like a dimension
reminiscent of days where I anticipated deathbeds.


My family wondered,
can we make it through another day?
Death scares me for what it has taken,
yet, I’m not afraid to die-
it’s all I deserve.
So I await the day pain erupts
from my throat,
acknowledging the days a soul
lived inside of my body-
footprints that walked,
belonging to me.

But I learned so well.
How to suffer with a smile,
dreading the beating of my heart
how unfair—
I don’t want to take these deep breaths
You deserved,while I masquerade as a member of the undead
Never outgrowing the desire to rot with the phantoms residing under my bed.


III. Jokes played by the universe.
punchlines delivered,
how could anyone to stand to be in the same room as myself?
How could anyone look over skyscrapers and sunsets,
and not be infatuated with concrete consuming them?
How I shared a sigh of relief during the thought-
of knowing people would thrive without me,
or the power of a belly laugh,
resembling a laugh track audience
drowning out 3 AM suicidal thoughts.
—V.H.
I wrote this in pink gel pen, maybe, that’s another joke.
observation
lady in red
imagination
in my head
flirtation
“someone said,
in a book I read,
that men are misled:
beauty kills us dead.”
frustration
get out of my head!
jubilation
“To where shall we head?”
hesitation
“my creaky twin
or a hotel bed?”
migration
our minds are led
by hurried legs
pulsation
as her lips, red,
push me to the bed
excitation
tinged with dread
salivation
ventilation
transpiration
saturation
*******­
annihilation
Rapped version: https://vimeo.com/286097673
(password is "stand").
Myth

"Observable phenomena's effect on the human condition."


Mythology

"Utilizing knowledge acquired during human existence to better understand the inexplicable through language."


History

"The perception of past events or knowledge altered by the present human condition."


Technology

"Mankind's attempt to eradicate *** and Nature in order to determine whether or not there is life after death."


APOPTOSIS

"Programmed Cell Death."
Lin Jul 22
I think we all feel useless sometimes.
Like another gluttonous body
over populating the planet
thinking we give meaning to
already fully functional things.
The frustration of the mystery
of life consumes us.
We become obsessive in the thought
that we don't matter.
We think of leaving.

I'm a realist.
I don't entertain arrogant ideas
that small coincidences add up
to act as a "sign".
But,
today I woke from a sleepless night
at 5 am and started cleaning my room.
Deep cleaning.
I found this.
Read it.
And cried.
It was an old birthday card
my sister had written to me.
"Happy 21st birthday! Here are 21 reasons I Love You"
as I sat down to take in this moment I heard
the lyrics playing in the background
on my Pandora radio:  
"stay alive".

Please,
If you read anything today;
if you need any kind of sign
read this:  
stay alive.

Thank you Hamilton radio on Pandora.

Thank you sister.
love depression me you saving save hurt pain poem poetry trending daily
everytime i look at you, more flowers grow from my heart and the sun shines a little brighter
Corey Mar 2017
I.
I wait for you in the dark.
My thoughts creeping in the shadows
waiting for the opportune time to pounce.
4:13am they attack.
I don't know what their goal is
or why they think
they have any control over me.
But without you to scare them away,
my mind is nothing but helpless prey.

II.
I hear the ocean waves
clawing at the shore,
begging for him to take her back.
I see myself on many days
seeking for release,
and for the knowledge that I lack.
Asking day after day,
"How do I keep these demons away?"

III.
Pandora's box
held back the evils of the world.
My blue box
holds back the evils of your love.
Pandora's box
was opened leaving only Hope inside.
Mine opens
showing me where those evils reside.
Now more like a gene trapped
than Pandora's without a lock;
I hold all these evils caged,
but they still scream through the box.

IV.
The girl with the candy cigarette
picking the dandelions
asked for a story most unique.
I looked at her and told her
the one about Apate,
the *** of fraud and deceit.

V.
The bird away from the flock
begs to be back with its family.
A genius begs to be normal.
"Get me another beer."
Over and over again I beg.
"Another round."
"Just one more."
"Get me another beer."

VI.
My house is full of many things,
but my home is all but empty.

VII.
I look through pictures
that once asked to be printed.
Now I ask them to be deleted,
but no matter how hard I beg
I simply cannot let myself do it.

VIII.
I climbed to the roof of Africa
and stared the stars in their eyes.
I asked of love and got silence returned.
Of life and got nothing learned.
Of pain and got no relief.
Of you and got nothing but grief.

IX.
The fan dries my throat over night
the same way you did the love of my life.

X.
Would your eyes glimmer and weaken
if I uttered the word cancer;
If I told you the very reason
was the cigarette you once lit
when you told me
I wasn't what you believe in.

XI.
The spark lights up this darkened place.
Instant, and quickly gone.
The thunder booms from miles away.
Lost, but still living alone.
Rain trickles on window panes.
A storm long gone,
but still calling my name.

XII.
Rejoice. Rejoice. Rejoice.
I think to our time together.
Relive. Re-****. Revive.
I wish for a better story,
a better memory for me to treasure.

XIII.
Exhausted from the night
but the morning brings no light.
When I think of you,
I'm lost.
Memories flood the road
bringing the ground underneath
with it.
Exhausted from the day
but the night wont take it away.
You never knew how much I loved you.
Sitting on a tree.
Minding the stump.
I was afraid you might fall!

Burlesque minds make fun of you.
Call me an idiot too. I think.
But every time I hear the screams,
I just can't get over that you'd tell me to delete you!

Since when was a man measured by the viscosity of his morals.
To invest online my heart.
But the world told me too, I never had a choice. Because the world decides whether I'm fated to invest in your company. But where would it end? Easy, the world cuts off your existence like a hot knife through crying butter. Could a fate ever be so cruel as mans resistance to the reproachful sickening thud of two people never being able to feel deeply about each other again? But the world doesn't tell the moon what to do. She sits there, waiting patiently for someone to come **** her.  She's come to understand that life without a heartbeat is not a life worth living. because everyone who came into the world, our moon included gave their heart to someone. The world told her too. So what if its painful? So what if it's pitiful? Everyone does it so it must be correct, truly. Those words. I love you. Just having you by my side keeps me from hating myself a little. I like the pain of being with you. I don't ever want to leave this place, it's lovely. No one ever liked me before I met you. Touch me harder, rub me harder. I will achieve your dreams with you. I don't like to see you sad. My heart has been connected to you since the day we met. I like guys with long hair. I like girls with a nice ***. I'd give up the world for you. Now you know that I like you. Don't ever think you are alone. Even if he doesn't like you, I like you, I love you. When we become ghosts, we can be together forever. You're my hero. Don't ever leave me. You're my purpose for living. We don't have to be rich, we're happy together. It's not that I like you! I just wanted to help you. You're the only one who understands me. My reason for being is you. I've always loved you. You're the only scream I like. Don't ever make me cry, I couldn't stand it if you made me cry. We can stay in heaven together honey. I'll stop whoever makes you sad. Please come back tonight, I miss you. My heart can't take anyone else, just stay with me. We'll be the best of partners! No one could ever touch me like you do. I had a really good time, I mean that. I cherish the world for bringing me you. I will marry you. He could never hold a candle to you. You've ruined me for all other men. I can't be with anyone as long as they're not you. Keep me in your heart forever. We'll get married when we grow up.  I will love you, so don't ever say such miserable things, you're running away. Please don't delete me, I love you. I'll be here forever.

But the world just kept on moving.
It never stopped to tell the moon those words she wanted to hear.
That it was sorry.
The responsibility was just too much.
Just trying out this style of writing, pretty cool
tinhearts Apr 21
If wishes were love notes
And dreams were ambitions
Purposed for the unity of the heavenly Host
All sent out with Jesus’s conditions

Surpassing suffering, pain and evil durations
Uplifting radiance in all who are lonely
Instilling a forcefield of joy to the unbelievers suspicions
The starlit firmament’s spectacular array in testimony

Oh the kindled warmth of the Lord’s
Magnificent Splendor
Freedom from unclean lips
Whispering angels comforting tender
Evils spokesman as a mute apocalypse

Oh the wonderful air we could breath
Inhaling sweetest affection
I’m praying for unconditional forgiveness to all who delight in receiving in depth
Favors of surpassing excellence for enjoyment to the children

Smothered in joy and polished appetites
Stringed instruments complimenting harps played
Angel foods for everyone’s anticipated delights
Wishes and dreams understated by the Glory of Jesus’s Love experiences  displayed

I could go on forever delighting in the Lord
Praising for His most generous fervent Love
*
tinhearts~©️
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