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Vera Jul 2018
Clothes have outgrown me many times over,
but this sadness never does.
One size.
fits all.
There should have been an obituary for cancer,  not you.
Wishing these slits within my skin could have been
replaced by a reality check from you, “You chose to exist.”

My name causes a sigh to escape from lips,
that do not feel like they belong to me,
the girl,
whose words always had to be special.

The schematics of hospitals like a birthmark in my brain,
born into sadness, a gut feeling as a child.
Never trusting time
due to what it delivers.

Death, being the only thing I desired.
But you, 
who I love,
robbed by it.
Whose ebb for life glowed so feverishly.
Stopped comparing depression to lace,
restricted the belief that suicide is poetic,
seeing things as they were.
More often than not, applauded for feeling emotions deeply.
Every second that dies, the shift of my heart quakes.

This world is not tender.

II. Sad.
I have known the flowers I wanted at my own premature funeral,
knowing how many bouquets honored you that day.

split open my veins like a dimension
reminiscent of days where I anticipated deathbeds.

My family wondered,
can we make it through another day?
Death scares me for what it has taken,
yet, I’m not afraid to die-
it’s all I deserve.
So I await the day pain erupts
from my throat,
acknowledging the days a soul
lived inside of my body-
footprints that walked,
belonging to me.

But I learned so well.
How to suffer with a smile,
dreading the beating of my heart
how unfair—
I don’t want to take these deep breaths
You deserved,while I masquerade as a member of the undead
Never outgrowing the desire to rot with the phantoms residing under my bed.

III. Jokes played by the universe.
punchlines delivered,
how could anyone to stand to be in the same room as myself?
How could anyone look over skyscrapers and sunsets,
and not be infatuated with concrete consuming them?
How I shared a sigh of relief during the thought-
of knowing people would thrive without me,
or the power of a belly laugh,
resembling a laugh track audience
drowning out 3 AM suicidal thoughts.
I wrote this in pink gel pen, maybe, that’s another joke.
lady in red
in my head
“someone said,
in a book I read,
that men are misled:
beauty kills us dead.”
get out of my head!
“To where shall we head?”
“my creaky twin
or a hotel bed?”
our minds are led
by hurried legs
as her lips, red,
push me to the bed
tinged with dread
Rapped version:
(password is "stand").

"Observable phenomena's effect on the human condition."


"Utilizing knowledge acquired during human existence to better understand the inexplicable through language."


"The perception of past events or knowledge altered by the present human condition."


"Mankind's attempt to eradicate God and Nature in order to determine whether or not there is life after death."


"Programmed Cell Death."
Shamans, in an attempt to find a word that all cultures could understand, to represent, universally, the subject; married the languages by root.

Each attribute or thing that the beast is said to do, have or have power to do or over is found as a definition in a language of the individual roots.

Take Sanskrit for instance. "Dra," is "water and combine it with Sumerian, "Gun, Gon," and you get a "water-born," beast who "writhes, twists or wraps around," which is the Ouroboros Serpent as shown in ancient images.

The secret to all ancient myth or religion is in interpretation of language into foreign languages over time.

And, yes, it is very creative, appears complex due to time but is just humans trying to describe observable nature.

None of it is meant to be taken literally unless you literally live six thousand years ago and speak in an ancient tongue.


Keltic, "Con, Kon," makes the Dragon, "All-knowing." *

And we know from Plato that Greeks
stole their root words from the Celts.
Plato's own words in,

'The Cratylus.'
All mythology is born from the language of trade and existed as a pre-science.
I taste death at the far end of my tongue,
Some nights, I trace the lining of my scars.

My ancestors weren't mere humans,
I am descendent of the stars.

Happiness is a bird,
it leaves the cage of you much too often.

You and I are like sky and ocean,
we meet only in illusion.
Dark Fjord Nov 2016
I am sorry, to forgive  
who moved your flower
to push your knees apart to know.

in thy choir, I wrote to kneel-
When we met in thy vespers hour -

and in the between
your feasts were great
and we kissed  the greats of choir.

I left not one wounded man behind.
toward the darkness of notes I go.
Lin Jul 2018
I think we all feel useless sometimes.
Like another gluttonous body
over populating the planet
thinking we give meaning to
already fully functional things.
The frustration of the mystery
of life consumes us.
We become obsessive in the thought
that we don't matter.
We think of leaving.

I'm a realist.
I don't entertain arrogant ideas
that small coincidences add up
to act as a "sign".
today I woke from a sleepless night
at 5 am and started cleaning my room.
Deep cleaning.
I found this.
Read it.
And cried.
It was an old birthday card
my sister had written to me.
"Happy 21st birthday! Here are 21 reasons I Love You"
as I sat down to take in this moment I heard
the lyrics playing in the background
on my Pandora radio:  
"stay alive".

If you read anything today;
if you need any kind of sign
read this:  
stay alive.

Thank you Hamilton radio on Pandora.

Thank you sister.
love depression me you saving save hurt pain poem poetry trending daily
lovelywildflower Oct 2018
everytime i look at you, more flowers grow from my heart and the sun shines a little brighter
Corey Mar 2017
I wait for you in the dark.
My thoughts creeping in the shadows
waiting for the opportune time to pounce.
4:13am they attack.
I don't know what their goal is
or why they think
they have any control over me.
But without you to scare them away,
my mind is nothing but helpless prey.

I hear the ocean waves
clawing at the shore,
begging for him to take her back.
I see myself on many days
seeking for release,
and for the knowledge that I lack.
Asking day after day,
"How do I keep these demons away?"

Pandora's box
held back the evils of the world.
My blue box
holds back the evils of your love.
Pandora's box
was opened leaving only Hope inside.
Mine opens
showing me where those evils reside.
Now more like a gene trapped
than Pandora's without a lock;
I hold all these evils caged,
but they still scream through the box.

The girl with the candy cigarette
picking the dandelions
asked for a story most unique.
I looked at her and told her
the one about Apate,
the god of fraud and deceit.

The bird away from the flock
begs to be back with its family.
A genius begs to be normal.
"Get me another beer."
Over and over again I beg.
"Another round."
"Just one more."
"Get me another beer."

My house is full of many things,
but my home is all but empty.

I look through pictures
that once asked to be printed.
Now I ask them to be deleted,
but no matter how hard I beg
I simply cannot let myself do it.

I climbed to the roof of Africa
and stared the stars in their eyes.
I asked of love and got silence returned.
Of life and got nothing learned.
Of pain and got no relief.
Of you and got nothing but grief.

The fan dries my throat over night
the same way you did the love of my life.

Would your eyes glimmer and weaken
if I uttered the word cancer;
If I told you the very reason
was the cigarette you once lit
when you told me
I wasn't what you believe in.

The spark lights up this darkened place.
Instant, and quickly gone.
The thunder booms from miles away.
Lost, but still living alone.
Rain trickles on window panes.
A storm long gone,
but still calling my name.

Rejoice. Rejoice. Rejoice.
I think to our time together.
Relive. Re-****. Revive.
I wish for a better story,
a better memory for me to treasure.

Exhausted from the night
but the morning brings no light.
When I think of you,
I'm lost.
Memories flood the road
bringing the ground underneath
with it.
Exhausted from the day
but the night wont take it away.
Dark Fjord Dec 2016
if I thought every word I wrote
your heart would feel or take notice
   what was just mine or yours;

every feeling I felt, you could feel
every time my eyes turned elsewhere;
I can't believe in someone else's, and I found none;
and these elses are still just words.
your own words are your own
You never knew how much I loved you.
Sitting on a tree.
Minding the stump.
I was afraid you might fall!

Burlesque minds make fun of you.
Call me an idiot too. I think.
But every time I hear the screams,
I just can't get over that you'd tell me to delete you!

Since when was a man measured by the viscosity of his morals.
To invest online my heart.
But the world told me too, I never had a choice. Because the world decides whether I'm fated to invest in your company. But where would it end? Easy, the world cuts off your existence like a hot knife through crying butter. Could a fate ever be so cruel as mans resistance to the reproachful sickening thud of two people never being able to feel deeply about each other again? But the world doesn't tell the moon what to do. She sits there, waiting patiently for someone to come **** her.  She's come to understand that life without a heartbeat is not a life worth living. because everyone who came into the world, our moon included gave their heart to someone. The world told her too. So what if its painful? So what if it's pitiful? Everyone does it so it must be correct, truly. Those words. I love you. Just having you by my side keeps me from hating myself a little. I like the pain of being with you. I don't ever want to leave this place, it's lovely. No one ever liked me before I met you. Touch me harder, rub me harder. I will achieve your dreams with you. I don't like to see you sad. My heart has been connected to you since the day we met. I like guys with long hair. I like girls with a nice ***. I'd give up the world for you. Now you know that I like you. Don't ever think you are alone. Even if he doesn't like you, I like you, I love you. When we become ghosts, we can be together forever. You're my hero. Don't ever leave me. You're my purpose for living. We don't have to be rich, we're happy together. It's not that I like you! I just wanted to help you. You're the only one who understands me. My reason for being is you. I've always loved you. You're the only scream I like. Don't ever make me cry, I couldn't stand it if you made me cry. We can stay in heaven together honey. I'll stop whoever makes you sad. Please come back tonight, I miss you. My heart can't take anyone else, just stay with me. We'll be the best of partners! No one could ever touch me like you do. I had a really good time, I mean that. I cherish the world for bringing me you. I will marry you. He could never hold a candle to you. You've ruined me for all other men. I can't be with anyone as long as they're not you. Keep me in your heart forever. We'll get married when we grow up.  I will love you, so don't ever say such miserable things, you're running away. Please don't delete me, I love you. I'll be here forever.

But the world just kept on moving.
It never stopped to tell the moon those words she wanted to hear.
That it was sorry.
The responsibility was just too much.
Just trying out this style of writing, pretty cool
tinhearts Apr 2018
If wishes were love notes
And dreams were ambitions
Purposed for the unity of the heavenly Host
All sent out with Jesus’s conditions

Surpassing suffering, pain and evil durations
Uplifting radiance in all who are lonely
Instilling a forcefield of joy to the unbelievers suspicions
The starlit firmament’s spectacular array in testimony

Oh the kindled warmth of the Lord’s
Magnificent Splendor
Freedom from unclean lips
Whispering angels comforting tender
Evils spokesman as a mute apocalypse

Oh the wonderful air we could breath
Inhaling sweetest affection
I’m praying for unconditional forgiveness to all who delight in receiving in depth
Favors of surpassing excellence for enjoyment to the children

Smothered in joy and polished appetites
Stringed instruments complimenting harps played
Angel foods for everyone’s anticipated delights
Wishes and dreams understated by the Glory of Jesus’s Love experiences  displayed

I could go on forever delighting in the Lord
Praising for His most generous fervent Love
lovelywildflower Oct 2018
the thought of waking up next to you warms my heart and puts a smile on my face.
lovelywildflower Oct 2018
i downloaded your songs (i hope you don't mind) and sometimes listening to the sound of your voice is the only way i can fall asleep.
lovelywildflower Oct 2018
i have struggled with falling asleep at night but when i imagine you holding me and making me feel safe, i can sleep so easily now.
lovelywildflower Oct 2018
i can almost feel you holding me and it leaves me aching when i realize you're not here with me.
Van Byrde Dec 2018
If all the best characters are a little broken...
does that make
the favourite?
Lily Jan 10
~I wonder if you have even the slightest idea how I feel when I hear your name~
lovelywildflower Oct 2018
with all my past relationships, i wanted to go too fast just to get to the end. but with you i want to take it slow just so i can savor every moment of your existence
Rita Sailor Jan 8
i moved down the street
across the pub you've done your drinking at
the new guy's sorry to say
your name doesn't ring a bell
                                                  guess five minutes is five munites now
lovelywildflower Oct 2018
i would give anything to fall asleep in your safe arms right now
lovelywildflower Oct 2018
"it would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you"
quote from the fault in our stars
lovelywildflower Oct 2018
i knew you existed before you knew i existed and from the very moment i knew, i was already drawn to you somehow and i did not understand that at all. but now i do.
JB May 2018
Remember? When I was *******?
You bit that hook

dropped the line off
the side of

some ******* dinghy...

some inflatable **** *******
joke that I took...

Smile on my face as I

                         can’t you taste:
                                the blood?

notes of cherry blossom,
    a bearskin rug,

Lily Jan 17
~You told me, “I love you” today, and even though you've said it before, I still blushed a thousand shades of red~
Nicole Ann Jan 21
(1) When I first held your hand, I've never felt so secured in my life. I've always shared to tell you thoughts only I had said to myself in my head. I have only shown you apart of me that is forbidden for anyone else to know. Yet, still I found myself hiding this feeling from you. So here's the big secret.

(2) Every time you told me how much my worth was or how much I mattered, I couldn't help but cry. Do you know how it feels to have purpose in this world when you can’t even come to mind as to why you should get up every morning. Why do this and do that. So I thank you for this.

(3) Water isn’t wet, you idiot
(4) I have nothing to lose

(5) “I will angelize you when I die” . one of my favorite quotes said by Velimir Khlebnikov

(6) You cannot control this. Just like how you can't control the flowers to stop from blooming in the spring. It was bound for me to fall like the leaves of a brisk October afternoon. It is too overwhelming. And this is meant to be.

(7) Please do me a big favor and just watch Pulp Fiction, you won’t regret it
(8) Remember how innocent we were when we were kids? There was a time where a bottle of ***** was a bottle of coke and a sweet kiss on the cheek wasn't ***. What about how there was nothing as tall as you, not even Mount Everest, could ever compare to how high your dad held you up on his shoulders.

(9) The truth in happiness is not the matter of how much we have, but its how we can really enjoy

(10) Sometimes I am too quiet for this world, everyone else has their own symphony going on while I can’t even help myself ring a **** bell

(11) It’s ******* hard when you can’t have things your way

(12) I wish I had the guts to be the person I always wanted to be, but half of me was terrified and thats not entirely my fault. You can’t blame me cause the way I grew up I was way too familiar to suppressing myself to anything bigger.
(13) I got a box shoved under my bed with all my favorite photos and all the letters I’ve collected through the holidays. yes, you have permission to look inside. I know as quiet or as closed I can be at least with these items you can freely think something more of me.

(14)  At the end of the day I don’t regret anything

(15) I love you
This is definitely inspired by Doc Luben "14 Lines from Love Letters or Suicide Notes"
lovelywildflower Oct 2018
if i had only one wish, i would wish to be with you forever
lovelywildflower Oct 2018
baby convince me that you will always love me because my heart breaks every day thinking about losing you
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