Nostalgie de l'ecole

I well remember Mr. Naughton
Whose life I daily yearned to shorten
He who drove us to the edge
Flailing with his pitching wedge - 
Or it might have been a flashy
Royal & Ancient wooden mashie -
Niblick, driver, I don't care
As long as I was never where
I could be slashed with shaft or hosel
On buttocks, ribs or even schnozzle.
I longed to see him in the gutter
Impaled upon a Ping-type putter - 
In fact I'd even go so far
As deem that outcome "even par."