a body filled with familiar dread
you might say my body is already dead
my head is said to be quite fretful
took moments of quietude for granted;
and now i’m constantly regretful
the restlessness of my emotions
address my state of mind
and the distressed thoughts run around my head like guerrilas
they know they are running out of time
my jittery heart runs rampant
like a broken clock
and my only wish is for all of this to stop
the apprehension creates a detonation
a complete eradication of my elation
because my body is filled with familiar dread
and my body feels like it’s already dead
if god is a woman
then i'd love to crawl inside
her womb and feel regeneration
feel the cosmos sparkle
in the sweat between her thighs
know what it is to taste creation
is this blasphemy? indecent?
if i am a woman then
why can i not love the power
she has gifted my body
in the marrow of my bones
layered gently in my curves
her names multiply
between these two lips and
i'd love to hear her whisper-
how very much the world needs her
patient, fiercely love-filled
vocal cords that sing our memories
into existence; her hair is
the curtains dividing the seas
of night & nature & the blood in us all
she weeps when we spill it
every ruby drop is falling from her lips
we break her bones when
we dig into the earth, ****
her precious body and destroy
the bounty that she's given us
but still does she love us?
she is more than mother,
than lover and artist,
fire-haired horizons and
opal eyes that span the skies
i love her with everything i have
is she listening to us now?
she makes me nervous,
how she sits naked in the heart
pregnant with our destinies
endlessly listening to our songs
of pain & lust & death's grinning hatred
and quiet, she is still in my soul.
A subtle panic like a slow death creeps, the anxiety within me, for here's where it sleeps.
Quietly loud enough to cover the sound, of the glassware you've thrown, now strewn all around.
Rocking all positive lullaby's to sleep, ensuring all menacing thoughts I'm to keep.
It's adept like the teen who's stayed out beyond curfew, sneaks in armed with oceans with which it will drown you.
All because of the lies that were said, went in through your ears and lived in your head.
The life you once had held aloft like a prize, you breathe your last breath and then close your eyes.
Poetry by Kaydee.
Just feelings but I feel them.
Is burrowing a web
weaving a collection,
accumulating an anthology
For a far gone day
Stash them away
set them aside with a
what, when, why
rather than right
now ambitious zeal
Its the nature of the undertaking.
My minds an unavoidable reciprocal
Gratified by wasting time,
It’s just there filling space
Tucked away for a rainy day
In every nook and cranny
Tickling the fancy.
Affording a kind of intellectual gusto
that's borderline deplorable
accumulatively downright trifling.
even if it's unnecessary
I'll never get my fill
paper to hand typing away
uncovering all of life's mysteries
We were standing still, you armored in my arms.
The stage in front of us was brightly lit
but the faces around us I could not see;
we danced while the world revolving around us changed.
I whispered song lyrics in your ear and
your body language prompted me to hold you closer.
So, I did.
For a moment I was sure you were in bed with me
because the air around me smelled of you.
Lost in your fragrance,
I didn’t notice the scene around us change.
Even in a new setting the only person
my eyes could adjust to was you.
You turned to face me and lay your head gently on my chest.
All while I wore a coy smile.
I felt your hand on the back of my neck
as you raised to the tip of your toes to kiss me.
Just before our lips met, I woke up.
You make me nervous, even when I dream.
for lips tasting
of cheap wine
do i scare you?
you touch me like
the slightest misstep, could
A bit of a wreck
But you never fail to smile at yourself when you mess up
As you always do
That much is clear
But your smooth laugh puts the whole room at ease
No matter how scarcely it surfaces
You've been hurt by everyone
But you'd rather die
Than put someone down
Because you truly believe every achievement is worth all the stars in the sky
Sometimes it's a little annoying
But who can blame you
You mean no harm
You're self conscious
I mean arent we all
But you put everyone else back together so they cant resist to love themselves a little more
No matter how much
Will you lock me outside,
forcing me to look in?
I'm so afraid of being unaccepted.
Why must you stare at me?
Do you think I'm unaware..
I wish you'd stop talking,
Your voice makes me feel impared.
Why are they ignoring me,
Do I need to speak louder?
Everytime I try,
I just become flustered.
Maybe it's just better this way.
Head held up high
One step, two step
Shake off the nerves
just one more to go
five, six... Stop
Butterflies swarm in my lungs
Crawling along the walls of my insides
Spiraling air into currents
That chill me to my bone until I'm shivering
Whenever you look at me
With those beautiful ocean eyes
And a smile that could save the world
You send a storm of wings and rainbows
Throughout my body until
I can no longer breathe
But I'd rather suffocate as you take my breath away
Than live another empty day of not feeling
Twenty years in the fast lane, speeding
was ecstacy at the time.
Sweet heady bubbles of coke,
buzzing at feeding.
No softeners added, lemon or lime.
My therapy, my medication.
******, my mind on a long vacation.
Knowing this time would
one day arrive.
My restless legs, my tired insides.
My not so central nervous system,
twitching fingers, flickering eyes.
This to me is no surprise.
My therapy, now my reprise.
Peotyr by aKydee.
Drugs saved my life once.
As I drown in the nausea of my fears,
flame wraps its tendrils around my bones
It burns so deep.
My mind twirls to the melody of emotions as my stomach turns.
Confidence goes in and out of hiding
Laughter wants cry
Tears wish to laugh
Doubt runs rampant
It reminds me of my university days,
a world long lost by blown wind and time as I make my way.
But I remember the flower that was given, and the luck and hope it brings.
And my sea of nerves becomes a tranquil lake.
My heart has an itch
My stomach is in knots
But I have to do this and overcome
From the bottom of my heart,
I pray that it goes well
God, give me strength...
Currently on the train heading yo my interview.
How I want to just go home...
I'm feeling so squeamish right now...
Keep me strong, guys!