"neopets" poems
There are little folds on your neck
as you sleep
that look like hair scrunchies, I am a little girl
again though in a big man’s embrace.
You were born in the eighties
I am a child of the nineties, had a neopets
sugar daddy at age ten
and I think it could have been you, you, you
that painted my acara rainbow
told me it is okay
to be gay and straight at the same time.
I have not looked at a girl since you
nor remembered how their skirts felt rubbing
unfolding against my thigh.
I had not even said “yes”
to anyone before your big man embrace
because I thought that being silent
was the same
and I think Peter Pan stunted your maturity
so you could help me grow up
too.
May 10, 2013
May 10, 2013 at 4:25 PM UTC
I wish I was nine again.
Tiny and happy.
I wish it was still me and Erin playing in mud, and picking up bugs.
Fretting when we'll have to shower, or go to bed.
"I miss that."
As the ages went up, my happiness went down.
Like I was slowly being submerged under the deep cold water.
"I miss that."
The way we'd meet up on neopets instead of Facebook.
"I miss that."
I didn't have to worry about my size, or hair. I don't like to worry. Care free and friendly.
"I miss that."
Sometimes I think I should end it all, and come back as a beautiful, size zero, daffodil.
Ha, I wish.
"I miss that."
I try and try again, but the scars on my wrist show what a failure I've become.
Seeing scar free wrist's.
"I miss that."
Me, a size twelve, depressed ***** who is doomed to a life alone.
I'm not the prettiest flower in my garden bed, in fact I'm poison ivy plant
that threads your precious "daffodils." I once was a daffodil, not a care in the world.
"I miss that."
I'm now the sun that wilts your leaves and drains your life.
Except now the hot rays are hitting me, and my blood is boiling and my roots are drying up.
Anxiety haunts me, as razors taunt me.
Oh how I want to be young again,
"I miss that."
May 17, 2013
May 17, 2013 at 6:09 PM UTC