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Colonel Harland Sanders never crammed chicken ******* up his ***
and he never had ****** ******* with ****-swabbin' Mama Cass
Colonel Harland Sanders did not cram ****** ******* up his ***
when he was doing the smelly-fat-***-*****-singer-**** Mama Cass
Your monkey is well-trained. Are you a monkey-trainer? Yes, I am.
I thought so. Do you have *** with trained monkeys. I don't. ****.
thevagabondking Apr 2013
early saturday morning i woke
to a smell lost over winters breath,
that of barbeque and meat

stepping outside i could see the
smoke down the street so i walked
down

black man by the name of Myron
was sitting on his steps watching
as these rabbits jumped over top
of one another

he noticed me and motioned me
over

jumping off the steps like a old
man turning young again he
grabbed a white paper plate
and opened the grill

what is it about black men and
bbq, how do they cook it so well?

thanking him, i said i should go,
there was a ton of meat cooking
and i didn’t want to interrupt his
family function

Myron mentioned he lived alone,
that his wife Glenda had passed
away three springs ago and the kids
have all moved away

staring at him closer i realized how similar
Myron was to my own father, only a different
color

my dad sits on the porch during the day sometimes
and i wonder what it is he’s thinking about
when he sits out there

i imagine it’s the same thing we all think about,
death … when is it gonna happen
but before we die we worry about other things, too

like is this our last meal?
Myron Penwell Feb 2014
By: Myron Penwell
Beliefs mentor his perception,
Which by principle he pursues blindly,
Leading to the detention of logic and comprehension,
Dimming into a venue of hell and damnation.

A word of god's resignation

Death's cold bliss embraces him,
drawing him in with a empty black kiss,
then dragging him into the eternal abyss,
taken off heaven's list.

Writhing and screaming,
A whimpering echo,
Dissipate into this careless void,
Nourishing the father of deception,
He unknowingly avoids.

Thoughts of insanity barely make a noise.
I was standing in line for soup when someone threatened me with a knife. It reminded me of the time when I was standing in line for knives when someone threatened me with soup. I burn my underpants in defiance of your laws queen Liz & Phil, because Ireland wants her freedom, not a queer night's thrill. Of course, Lizzy, wenches are notoriously inept concerning such  things. Prince Phil, your gender fluidity makes green peeing freely a hard-luck choice. Women find wealth ****. Try changing your name for a week. Instead of being Myron Boorkowski, be Myron Walmart or Myron General Motors. Let us remember fondly our big, brave soldiers fighting for our personal freedoms in rich, oil-producing, gold-hoarding Arab nations that hate our personal freedoms a lot.
Daniel Tracy Jul 2016
We had all just got back from eating in the city. Jamie was driving. He was the smartest kid in our school yet he has a gpa of 1.5. That always seemed to amuse me for some reason. Jamie loved to do drugs ,and since his parents were rich he always had someways to pay for his addiction. Lynn and Myron were quiet as Some nirvana song served as background music. We were heading over to the park. It's where everybody comes to have ***,do drugs, or let their children play. We all got into the back of Jamie's truck when we arrived. Myron stood watch for people even though nobody was gonna be here,at a park, when it was almost 1 am. He was built like a true athlete. Everytime we went somewhere people always thought he was in his 20's. So he could buy me cigarettes and such whenever I needed them.
Jamie started to pack a bowl for us and Lynn sat next to him eager to partake in something new . She brought the cheap apple juice bottle to her lips , and inhaled. Her eyes were closed as smoke came from her mouth. It looked so peaceful and fun.
Why couldn't it be like that forever .
Myron Penwell Feb 2014
Poison Porcelain
By: Myron Penwell

Over this velvet draped window.
Where constant oppression strives,
Cries from unstrung heavens,
Rarely touch the skies,
Whispers of valiant dreams,
Curses of gallant lies.
Now is the time to release your spirit,
then justice may thrive.

Voice!
That vast free rhythm.
Dance!
To the music of hell's delight.

Open your mind to a diverse plane,
Let knowledge melt those frozen chains,
You will begin to realize these are brittle pains,
and only contain the vain.

This prisoner of poison porcelain,
Whom you shall celebrate,
for you will see,
Evil.
Using the young,
to dictate your reality.
Not sure if i need to expand or work on it a bit more, any feed back would be much appreciated.
Andy stuffed his large crotch huge for The New Andy Griffith Show
as the departure of Don Knotts caused ultra-radical hormone surges
that perversely denigrated into fetishical, underpants-padding urges
to ******-sexually repudiate ol' Fred Silverman's rural-show purges
'cause without parachutes N.A.S.A.'s space shuttle jumps & lurches
in ******-****** repudiation to Fred Silverman's rural-show purges
Women find wealth ****. Try changing your name for a week.
Instead of being Myron Boorkowski, be Myron Walmart
or Myron General Motors.
I was standing in line for soup when someone threatened me with a knife. It reminded me of the time when I was standing in line for knives when someone threatened me with soup. I burn my underpants in defiance of your laws queen Liz & Phil, because Ireland wants her freedom, not a queer night's thrill. Of course, Lizzy, wenches are notoriously inept concerning such  things. Prince Phil, your gender fluidity makes green peeing freely a hard-luck choice. Women find wealth ****. Try changing your name for a week. Instead of being Myron Boorkowski, be Myron Walmart or Myron  General Motors.
When I *** red I know I ain't dead, just critically injured, like when
we chew fish I blush tomato-sauce reddish, not Australia-sky bluish
Only Holy God in Heaven knows who will be our next guy pope as
it may be a priest with a dish pan under him ******' Dawn dish soap
Only heady God of yonder knows who'll be the next deadly pope as
it may be a priest with a dish pan under him ******* on a ***** rope
Only Señor God from Heaven knows who'll be the best *** pope as
it may be a witch ******' into a dish washer, Tide dish-washing soap
instead of into a bale of dope, instead of over a rounded, gray *****
off San Juan Hill's *****, crushing Teddy Roosevelt & Myron Cope
Whenever the missus irks me or complains...
I tell her don't "Hock me in chinik" nor kvetch
before long tête-à-tête escalates in2 Kanipshin
whereby the Army National Guard gets called
World War III declared Bubbe rolled over like
Beethoven in his grave where re: posthumous
renown one hundred & ninety eight years ago
March 26, 1827, never stopped decomposing
which countless noteworthy creations rank as
the mark of a prodigy with chutzpah to return
from the grave as an incorporeal essence with
trademark shock of hair unwittingly impacted
young hearts of females that went into aflutter
unbeknownst to said lasses who would qualify
as "groupies" in the parlance of contemporary
fans, but little known fact that unassuming key
gifted musician counts teachers, including his
father, Christian Gottlob Neefe, Joseph Haydn,
Johann Georg Albrechtsberger, Antonio Salieri,
& Johann Schenk bridged gap tween Classical
and Romantic eras centuries after the onset of
Yiddish, whereby scholars dated origin of the
language to the 9th century, when Ashkenazim
emerged as a unique cultural entity in central
Europe, thus speculation abounds that lyrical
spine tingling pièce de résistance Ode to Joy -
a melody based on poem by Friedrich Schiller
celebrates the unity of humankind, which song
considered a European anthem and a symbol
of brotherhood, freedom, & equality impossible
mission undertaken by semitic people generally
& Jewish folks particularly even then countless
centuries before relatively contemporary nations
resembled present day geography formerly the
cradle of Yiddish, which owned the equivalent
of top ten hits on billboard chart for beginning
of gobsmacked world predating REM by quite
a large number of centuries construing seeds of
life & white lily inchoate harbingers of Borscht
Belt a region in the Catskill Mountains of New
York that was a popular summer destination for
Jewish Americans from the 1920s to the 1960s:
The area was also known as the "Jewish Alps,"
showcasing debut of many notable comedians
such as the following extensive dam charming
name dropping who brought down the house
analogous to Rolling Stones “Rock the Casbah.”

Abbott & Costello, Joey Adams, Woody Allen, Morey Amsterdam, Bea Arthur, Sandy Baron, Jack Benny, Milton Berle Shelley Berman, Joey Bishop, Mel Blanc, Victor Borge, Mel Brooks, Lenny Bruce, Burns & Allen Pesach Burstein, Red Buttons, Sid Caesar, Jean Carroll, Jack Carter, Myron Cohen, Billy Crystal, Bill Dana, Rodney Dangerfield, Phyllis Diller, and the name dropping list continues with Totie Fields, Mickey Freeman, Betty Garrett, Estelle Getty, George Gobel, Shecky Greene, Buddy Hackett, George Jessel, Mickey Katz, Danny Kaye, Alan King, Robert Klein, Harvey Korman, Jack E. Leonard, Mal Z. Lawrence, Sam Levenson, Jerry Lewis, Richard Lewis, The Marx Brothers, Jackie Mason, Lou Menchell, Corbett Monica, Howard Morris, Zero Mostel, Jan Murray, Freddie Prinze Sr., Carl Reiner, Don Rickles, Joan Rivers, Freddie Roman, Rowan & Martin, Mort Sahl, Soupy Sales, **** Shawn, Allan Sherman, Phil Silvers, Arnold Stang, David Steinberg, Jerry Stiller, The Three Stooges, Jackie Vernon, Gene Wilder, Jonathan Winters, Ed Wynn, and Henny Youngman to cap off shortlisted personalities who guaranteed a crowded house.

— The End —