Seema 2d
There has to be a way
To say
Whatever I may
Losing myself again and again
As the pain grows in my chest
Trying hard to restore my sane
But none retrieves,
To stop the pain
Tears give way to potholes
The depth unknown,
Hiding my face
With silent mourn
Beggy, sunken eyes call to you
None pay attention for
Some may just come along,
Asking for more
A drink or two is good enough
Thanking the bar when served at night
Counting my tears, bearing this love
Emotions, rise to fight
A guilt in my throat, struck my senses
To wake up from this hangover feel
Pleading myself in a hurry
I made death, a fine deal...


©sim
Fiction. Spilling imagination.
nish 1d

i have respect for those who died
but those who chose not to die
are truly soldiers of this life
for i, myself was broken, torn
and among the falling tears
my mother's cries rang through the night

what happened i can never mention
but i tell you this,

nobody deserves to feel the pain
of a loved one losing control
making you
bear it all

the depression comes in stages

you cry yourself to sleep
you're angry
sad and deeply hurt
i dont understand
what did i do

you cry yourself to sleep
its my fault
i did this
all of this i brought upon myself
i deserve this

oh darling how wrong you are

you cry yourself to sleep
i am living a lie
not wanted
forgotten
left to lick my own wounds
inflicted on me by another

i am jerked into reality,
in this life i am alone.


you cry yourself to sleep
its getting harder by the day
to fake the smile
say you're okay

you're not
but how could you ever say
"I.."

the words left hanging in the air
i can't even type them
for i am scared
what if it happens once again
i could never bear the pain

you cry yourself to sleep
this time its different
i do not mourn for what happened
but for what is going to happen

tonight, my eyes are dry
as i plan my own demise
its time to end this agony
once and for all

some pills?
a cliff, a rope
maybe just a roadside kill
so many options

i chose the cliff
a little ledge
they'd say i stumbled off the edge

but the only cliff around
was special to a friend of mine
someone i loved
and i could never hurt them like that

it sounds pathetic
maybe deep down
i didn't want to die
and this was my excuse
but through all that emotion
what brought me out
was just a friend

they didn't know what they had done
saved a life and kept me safe
i reached out and asked for help
nobody knows what happened
just that i was in a bad place

it took a cliff to see
that i am loved and worth it  
the people surrounding me
don't want to lose me

and since that day
my life has changed
i love more and hate less
sometimes i fall back into it
but now its different
i don't cry myself to sleep
i ask for help and seek it out
its helped so much to have friends who love

now i look back on that time
and find it funny
for i was going to kill myself
but couldn't find a place to do it.
what more is there to say
Tonight,

I watched you quietly again

But all these future memories

Kept projecting in my brain

 

We'd go to baseball games

And play footsie on top of the littered popcorn

Comfort would take over

Mending a wound we used to mourn

 

We'd eat breakfast in bed

And tumble on top of each other

Laughter would pierce through

Filling a void left by another

 

We'd see concerts at dusk

And dance under the twilight sky

Lightness would bloom

Where sorrow used to be disguised

 

We'd make love in the afternoon

And feel the weight of us two

Desire would burst through

Finally finding something that's true

 

We'd stay out late in the city

And kiss in the light pollution haze

Love would wash over us

Sticking where it never used to stay

 

But tonight,

You didn't even know my name

So I settled for a shy smile

From across the room as you looked my way.

— The End —