"motovation" poems
Everything is getting so bad.
I am getting so bad.
It really is and I really am.
I have no motovation.
I just can't do anything.
I binge and I purge.
I'm using a cold blade to make myself burn with scars.
Again.
There is no home for me.
I sleep all day.
I've missed a dangerous amount of classes.
I need a job.
I have yet to process
Major things that are happening.
**** has been continuously hitting the fan
For seven years and
I just can't make it stop
And I can't catch a breath,
And the flashbacks are awful.
I just wrecked my thighs.
I don't want to burden anybody.
I know all I do is complain.
But it is literally me screaming for help.
And no one is helping me.
I'm up to my neck in my own mental disorders.
I'm drowning.
I really ******* am.
I walk around late night hope I'll get killed,
I stare at 163 sleeping pills every night.
I'm all late night binging and purging.
This is the ******* life.
I carry a toothbrush in my purse
And tell people I'm just obsessed with my tooth health.
I smoke to hide the smell of *****
I'm drowning.
I'm desperate.
I'm drowning.
Why are strangers offering more help
Than the people in real life that I'm begging.
I'm an adult now.
It's no longer the fault
Of the people who raised me.
I have waited for this day to come.
The day where all of the sudden
The blame shifts to you.
I'm still drowning.
I'm dying.
I'm drowning.
I know I should stop cryjng for help
And just get it myself.
But I used up all my strength
I really did.
And I will be perfectly fine
With just dying.
I really would be.
I'm drowning anyway.
Might as well make it literal.
Nov 19, 2013
Nov 19, 2013 at 5:17 AM UTC
Rationalization
Participation
Concentration
Manipulation
Devastation
Frustration
Delegation
Completion
Direction
Addiction
Motovation
Contraction
Perfection
Election
Connection
Commotion
Lotion
Jubilation
Revaluation
Fibulation
Continuation
Population
Sensation
Complication
Allegation
Temptation
************
Proustitution
Execution
Desertion
Dec 31, 2014
Dec 31, 2014 at 12:40 PM UTC
Man i miss my bro.... I remeber wen we was kids and all the crazy **** did. we kept secrets from momma ..kept each other from gettn whoopns and much more drama. and nw u in jail and i know i sho miss u like hell..man i miss ur crazy sayns like (dis shxt is a terrible discrimination). bt hey u give me the motovation to stay here wit momma and nt make so much truma. and to go to school so i can get my diploma.. man bro i need u out here.. life is crazy and im holdn bac my tears.. tryn to stay strong and keep myself from doin wrong.. even doe i feel im alone in this piece.. momma might have cancer and i know my heart is decease. my eyes burn everyday so i try to turn to God and pray.. i feel like he nt hearn me becz stuff is nt cumn to me so easily... i mean i dnt thnk life jus *** so brezzy bt its like things nt gettn bettr bt turn for the worst.. wen i think of strong people u *** up first.. i miss u bro and love u.. and momma the only one who stepps above u.. u nt far behind. u r really next on my heart line. i wish i can show u that me and momma nt blind and we knw u care and love for us to... its a little hard to show it from you.. ha u know dats true.. :) lil Sis
Mar 24, 2013
Mar 24, 2013 at 2:26 PM UTC