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Evan Hayes Dec 2014
"Notice me Senpai"

Something that started as a joke
But now it's just fact
But if you try to tell me that
You were just kidding
I will take my bidding
I'm the winner of the prize
Oh yes I am
Wisemen of the wise

You were always my favorite
I was always celibate
You said I was full of it
Maybe in the moshpit

Say my name
No not that one
Say the one you say to me
When you're lonely
Say the one that will tame
The one that my heart won
A recent text message that i liked too much
Gonzo Oct 2010
Music flowin through my veins,

Just reach out and cause some pain.

A punch to the face and a knee to the jaw,

Heads hit heads, the weaker ones fall.

Pick em up, move em out,

Keep the pit going, don't quit now.

I wipe the blood out from my eye,

Then run back with a kamikaze cry.

Crack some heads, stomp some shins,

I can't wait til the music begins.

I'm the first one in, the last one out,

Moshing's what I'm all about.

If I don't *** hurt it wasn't that good,

But **** ya shoulda seen the other dude.
Aa Harvey Sep 2018
Rokkstarr


There's no more love for the music,
I've sang since birth about this world.
Sang those love songs in my youth,
Now your love songs make me hurl.


**** Rock 'n' Roll and the bands you think are great!
**** the police and ******* all!
**** all those people that you hate!
**** Radio 1 and **** the world!


Rock 'n' Roll is dead and gone,
Once Rokkstarr meant something great.
Once we sang these songs with passion,
Once we sang these songs with hate!
Now we stand here on stage like wankers!
So let's all sell out to the man.
He gives us money for writing **** songs;
Now moneys all we understand.


Sell out tours and groupie ******.  
Life is great?  No life’s a bore.
Been here before and it was just the same.
Same old thing again and again.
Know what to expect, no more surprise’s;
No more excitement, no meaningful trophies.


It all means nothing, now we've been here so long;
The **** record label wants another song.
Which must be written, within the month;
We have a release date, so we can sell this stuff,
Before Christmas to the kids, because they’re our target audience;
The music that they want, they can get from their parents.
Because their parents know, that they just can't say "No.",
To a kid that wants something, as much as they will.


Rock 'n' Roll is dead and gone,
Once Rokkstarr meant something great.
Once we sang these songs with passion,
Once we sang these songs with hate!
Now we stand here on stage like wankers!
So let's all sell out to the man.
He gives us money for writing **** songs;
Now moneys all we understand.


To be a Rokkstarr, you'd think would be great.
But the songs you once loved, you begin to hate.
You sing them so much, it becomes a habit;
Until one day you say "That's it! I've had it!"


I'm tired of singing these songs;
The words have lost all their meaning.
I need something new, something I can believe in.
I need music to fall in love with, I need lyrics with a real meaning;
But my hope for all that's Rock, is a memory that's slowly fading.


Soon Rock will die and be gone;
Because new Rock bands come and go.
Soon there will no longer be any hype;
About a band you heard on the radio.


Rock 'n' Roll is dead and gone,
Once Rokkstarr meant something great.
Once we sang these songs with passion,
Once we sang these songs with hate!
Now we stand here on stage like wankers!
So let's all sell out to the man.
He gives us money for writing **** songs;
Now moneys all we understand.


You never know though I could be wrong.
Maybe soon I'll hear a song;
That will move me like 'Bohemian Rhapsody' did.
That will make me appreciate new music.


Here's hoping for the future,
For Rock to come back with a vengeance.
Remember your roots in a jam-packed moshpit?  
Remember the mindless violence?
Remember when you saw your girl through the crowd
And fell in love with her there and then?
That’s love for Rock music at its finest
And believe me it will come again.


Rock 'n' Roll's not dead and gone;
Now Rokkstarr means something great!
Now we sing these songs with passion;
Now sing these songs with hate!
Now we stand here on the stage;
After finding our love for Rock!
So let's all softly bang our heads and GET THE **** UP!


(C)2005 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Anais Vionet Mar 2022
It’s been a week - things have been happening - I’m going through it. I’ve become nostalgic for two weeks ago. I got screamed at, I lost my AirPods case and I cracked my iPhone screen, so I’m several levels worse - I’m a sad human. I’m writing this at the Apple Store while a friendly Apple person renders me whole.

The Ukraine situation has everyone unnerved. Draw a card - Pandemic or WWIII? Please, protect my peace. So there’s a level of “*****-it” now.

Friday night, I’m in a bad mood and when someone says “Come-on let's go clubbing!”
I’m - “Let’s GET THIS.” Later, we’re at a club, and it’s INSANELY crowded, like a moshpit. It was ABBA night. It did not escape me that this is exactly the type of milieu I’ve been avoiding for years. Did I mention the WWIII level of “*****-it”?

Ok, moshpit, you could hardly move, you definitely couldn’t hear, and Anna dropped her phone - we were sure that it was gone forever but 30 minutes later a hole opens up and there it is - like it’s just been sitting there waiting - so, there ARE miracles.  

The list of life’s demands grow by the moment - reading, homework, laundry, dinner, upcoming midterms. I had a rock solid plan for a Saturday night of fun but assignments and necessities destroyed its integrity.

After a heroic effort and completing everything, I felt a fast-metastasizing boredom, so I wandered outside my room, hoping for company and distraction - it was 00:30 AM  - and for for once - no one else was there! Where was everyone? Hello zombie apocalypse.

So I did what anyone would do in that beat - I cued-up ”Miraculous,” because Ladybug’s always there for me.
BLT word challenge of the day: milieu: a setting or environment.
Sinai Sep 2014
****, that was the mdma.**

I felt the chemicals crawling slowly passed my throat into my system
And for a moment I was the only thing in my moshpit reality
Standing completely still for once
Right there
In the middle of Hungary
I felt the prodigy spiders climb through my skin
Into my brain
And I could not think myself
But I heard the thoughts of others

"Why do we do this to ourselves?"
sam dawkins Oct 2013
You stupid, amazing *****.
Your Mad heart vilifies Deceit,
Mashing Xanax and ******,
Benzos for the price of flight.

Yet there you stand
Idyllic and idolised,
The chemicals and pheromones
clash and dance magnificently.
The Moshpit of Deceit
Is your tragic sanctuary.
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2016
a note before i end the pending poem.

i know i'm not writing anything "in the groove"
or whatever urban tonguing i should use to invent
the new form of glue: to stick with the trends.
                    when people read candyfloss
literature i read lead literature,
  that's how it goes, i find too many poets
angry shouting down other people's throats,
i find them in positions where they think
they empower people: but rarely do.
   i write for the sole purpose of a demographic,
a democracy of sorts, i never want to hear
my voice regurgitated back at me,
i find it prickly, apart from the half-digested content
i am actually opposing being fed it...
  i can't explain why i don't entertain,
write one poem every two years either, apart from
the fact that: well, writing a poem and then
performing it? performance doesn't really do much
for what's an ongoing voyage, performance to
the art is like a Moby **** moment:
   you get to tell the adventure of a shipwreck,
rather than the proof that the earth is not flat.
the additional benefit, you get to see how your
thinking interacts with symbols, and how these symbols
will never betray the tongue that doesn't speak them...
   you get to do x-ray upon x-ray and find that
stuff like this: is actually equivalent to a bone in your
tongue. as with the moment: when artists are quoted
as having said: words are meaningless...
     i guess there comes a time when, with that said:
punching someone dead means more.
   oh this pithy sentiments that only empower politicians
and the media... i might have said
    a baby's gluttonous gaga drool and you'd be like:
yay! happy days upon us!
                      when poetry isn't performed it continues
into the nether region of thoughts: it's not jeopardy
of suddenly fizzling out into a state of a stale champagne
bottle... the residual power is confiscates from speaking
it retains a close proximity of actually writing it,
on the basis that it becomes prolonged, and more concentrated,
it cannot be allowed to diffuse into the open,
into a crowd, for a democratic hurrah on we go.
  i wanted to simply see poetry as an optical exploration,
rather than a vocal necessity of the art,
      philosophy was clogged up in too many truths
and untruths, and basically too many paragraphs,
   i wanted to make frank the medium that abhors paragraphs,
and by the looks of it: punctuation marks.
well, it's all about pedantry to be honest,
               but then i never desired the urban lingua
of keeping with the zeitgeist... i see how keeping up
with the times is enshrined with materialism and how
fickle it all eventually becomes... you can never reach
a status of cool reaching for the obscure,
but that's what all attempts at fame end up being:
a quiz show, trivia, obscure knowledge, 0 points
means the best points available, and after that, the realisation
that all is empty, and that attempts at fame
become questions in a quiz show where the aim of
the game is to: name the most obscure answer possible...
oddly enough the same show invites celebrities to
take part in the quiz for charity... *pointless celebrities
,
first word, yep, that's the name of the show.
oh no, i don't shun television, i do admit that watching
a brick wall is more entertaining drunk than television,
but the sober me has to do something from time to time.
so poetry: a medium that's opposite of vocally necessary,
a medium to explore the bone inside the tongue
that writing invokes: ****** stalemate...
      would i care to say why every word has a meaning?
unless you can speak hundsprechen i'd say only this,
that sort of reasoning is dangerous...
            we wouldn't get anything done is units of language
was meaningless... (hold on, i'm going to create
a crescendo for this point)...
you can say language is meaningless when you're
singing... vocalising language from these depths of
what would otherwise be known as the graveyard of surds
on the pure basis of optics and all cognitive parameters...
      sure, from these depths into an angelic gospel choir
you can get a meaninglessness: because it's so ******
    pleasurable... you can't deny a good song, you
can't compare the use of language in singing to the use
of language in lecturing some obscure topic by simply
talking... for thus words are sounds, and not the dreaded
pluralism of conventional talking: i.e. meanings.
              unlike the Chinese who have a certain capacity
to remember about 3000 ideograms, we have a much
bigger capacity, but our words are shrapnel and what we
don't have that the Chinese do have is:
                 a capacity for the multiplicity of meaning.
i can't imagine any ambiguity with Chinese ideograms
in the range of 3000 symbols... but there is clearly ambiguity
in our system...
                      obviously we can say words are meaningless
at times when rules of using language are lax given
the lies of politicians and the media roulette:
the fact that media is not state owned is even worse,
shadow brokers and a tarantula venom disorientating people.
   singing is an escape route from the socio-political
conventions of using language, hence the ambiguity trail
of what's deservedly called: socially-acceptable mode
of conduct, something that doesn't receive the ****** frown
of what would probably look like a lemon smiling.
  yet, if language doesn't give you a chance to see a labyrinth
then you have the shallows of singing... mm, yeah, mm, boo...
         ye-ha! ******* cowboys the whole lot of them...
but it's what it's supposed to be, something to be sung
for someone else to hear... it's not something written
down for someone else to see... and subsequently maybe
think about... oh how dreaded that statement seems in
English, a bit like denken scheiße / shy-se!
          people only make statements about the meaningless
of language when they sing... but that's the point:
you're making sounds, akin to the rhythm of my heart,
hence i don't think and subsequently go into a moshpit
or nod my head with some pigeon-like "cool" approval...
language is a bit like Shrek talking about onions...
it has layers, "spooky" other dimensions, oooh oooh...
Casper asked for a weener so he could invert necrophilia
and ghost-**** that ***... it has layers...
         somewhere between the Antarctica and the Arctic,
perhaps in the tropic of Capricorn, but who knows?
but i'll tell you one thing... it's not a white guy thing...
i finally understand why i don't like rap...
a bit like saying: a crowd shouting at a football match
is not an onomatopoeia of whatever is **** sapiens worthy...
   i think that classification actually predates
the expression of it... it's out there, but on the fringes...
         it's like this standard of protestantism with the concept
of predestination: we might just get there by Sunday
in the year 2099, but who knows?
        now i do understand why i don't like rap...
never liked it... couldn't stomach it...
   then i come across a beauty... so all those things i said
before, it culminates into this...
    Akua Naru, ring a bell? probably not,
3mil is nothing in today's celebrity cut-throat backstabbing...
     http://tinyurl.com/lt8ayhg... now that's entertainment...
that's what i love, how every instrument is
actually heard... the bass kicks in to set the tone
with the tickly percussion accents...
                       she's baking a cake...
she's layering...
  it's unlike that ****-culture music of pounding pounding
overly rhythmic and for every band these days
   it's one guitar = 20 violins of an orchestra's worth...
                  this is the new-jazz, or what John Coltrane
insinuated with the words: a love supreme, a love supreme.
            i don't know if it's poetry...
                                   a weak message on a stage might
always require a backing band, like a weak voice
might require a backing band... but this little critique doesn't
necessarily mean i can appreciate it,
   and is the reason why i don't understand rap, and never will.
Young, Wild and Free
There is no game and there is no compass
How I despise, another fall
Another diminishing glimmer in my eyes.

Brown cascading with Blue
Lips on lips,
Hips and Sips
I could like you but I don't know how.

For monogamy is a practice unknown to me
A language miles away, from where interconnectedness flies away
It's greatest fear is it's mastery, for a life lackluster at it's very seams.

Monogamy, a prized practice
Forever at its lips bidding adieu,
I would like you but I don't know how.

How do I dignify a surmise,
You're beyond deserving of more.

I like to smoke and I'm not sorry,
I like drinking until I can dance and I cannot forgive
I find my comfort in a glass of whiskey,
I find my charm breeds with corona.

You deserve more than a mickey,
You are my delicacy beyond this honey brown purity.

You should be dignified,
You should be invited to the ball and not the moshpit.

A million words and a million girls
So I cower in fear
Simmer in the millions of men

For every woman you see, there are a million men for me.
I cascade in this, I comfort in the crowd.
I find comfort in daydreams, ripping seams, lips

Distance is my mechanism,
Hope is abundance
I want nothing but your gaze,
But to save my soul with a simple graze,
I seek comfort in the crowd.

I'm lazy,
I've grown lazy with indecision,
A indecision that has bred on fear,
A crippling, cold, vindictive tar suffocating all reason.
Horror lulled me into laze, and now I await
I await a love that consumes me

But how may a love come to me when I stay begging
Begging by a bottle, holding comfort in the crowd.

I seek comfort in the crowd, but the crowd does not fulfil me.
The crowd is a youth, it is not a lifetime.
I seek comfort in the crowd, but the crowd cannot seek comfort in me.
Evan Hayes Dec 2014
Leader of the pack
Packing leading rounds
Rounds of Jack's giant hounds
Jack is with Jake
By the lake
Molly's with Kurt
And he's a bit more then hurt
They'll get together
And raid the nether

Jack turned on Jake
Molly at the lake
Lake at the night
Molly's night of light
Kurt threw a fit
And fell to the moshpit
Jake like a feather
Just invaded the nether

Ricky with a knife
Staking his life
Jack and Molly
And Kurt almighty
Wanted to stay rightly
Ricky came for Heather
Who was in the nether

Oh, they're already gone
Gone to a better sun
They're all together
At the bottom of the nether
And you thought you knew better
Wet winter weather
Sam Harty Sep 22
sudden snakes in my brain
what a waste are my inaudible cries
mental welts i give myself
because i made you leave
now you hate me
**** my life
it's all just too hard to believe

inaudibly i crumble and fall into the dirt
don't bury me,  just leave me here
dead inside, inert
i died the day you left me
i'd never felt so hurt

hope in the shape of Zoloft
just isn't doing the trick
i read our chats over and over
and the flogging bud of failure
knowing how much I lost leaves
me feeling sick

you said i was toxic, maybe that's true.
i only know i've never loved anyone the
way i love you . my mental mosh pit, my
hodgepodge mind I feel so much that i'll never
say and the snakes in my brain will probably
never go away
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2018
might as well join in the celebrations -
coming from a place that some
might consider to be the Israel
of the north -
                    lost for some time -
    emerging with a centenary celebration
of independence -
did you know?
   it took the Nazis less time to conquer
France, that it took for both the Nazis
and the Soviets to conquer Poland?
    so the Jews left Europe...
   but... then the nag hammadi library
was unearthed in Egypt,
  in 1945...
   and along came the phantom of Samson -
shaking the pillars of the states' foundation,
namely the church...
          the dead sea scrolls?
   as the name denotes...
   more a Judaic mind-boggle -
    i was baptized, thankfully read some
gnostic literature, and refrained from confirmation,
luckily for me, i'm outside the Catholic
jurisdiction -
    i can't entertain the idea of a Church
wedding...
             the beauty of Catholicism -
its limitations with regards to someone
avoiding the whole, pomp & circumstance...
someone should write this sequel
to Jane Austen's book...
            but she's still not going to get
the same sort of respect, and the 5 quid she's
on... it's a non-contest,
with Mary Shelley...
     that bomb of imagination in
                       establishing a genre...
far better than Bram Stoker...
                      no...
    with the emergence of the nag hammadi
library, and the somewhat
pseudo-historical account of Hey-Zeus!
well...
    have the Byzantine fantasy...
               this... Mediterranean delusion...
us Baltic folk... different story...
             **** it, have a crucifix forest...
but i had to evolve,
       tickle Judaism to give me something
to believe in...
  turns out!
         i managed to tickle a phantom rabbi
just well enough, to watch
him either lose his kippah from the tickling...
or enter a moshpit
               with his payot...
         i'm no Spinoza...
                 and i wouldn't want to be,
esp. a Jew in the Netherlands...
            perhaps a Jew in France...
but then again...
   my dream... to visit the Faroe Islands...
so doing my usual sudoku...
a wild idea emerged...

(clockwise)

           □           □
                  □
           □           □

                                  (anti-clockwise)

and the following, of this imploded
pentagon,
this humble legionnaire,
playing dice beneath the shadow
of the crucifix...

enclosed, within?
oh, you know, the ha shem...

     W     H      Y     H    

     H      Y      H     W

     Y      H      W     H

     H      W     H      Y

supplement the Semitic lettering
on paper, yourself...
Semitic isn't exactly
built for ctrl c / p
   in html

Y - י‬
H - ה‬
V - ו‬
H -  ה‬

     ... and, oddly enough...
   there's a sensibility behind this strand
of Judaism...
     being irreligious -
actually enjoying a pork head terrine
(the most tender meat) +,
   isn't pig, the most economic animal
worth human consumption?
      who the **** would eat
lamb kidneys?
   or lamb liver?!
                  
what a ****** critique of the one animal,
which, other foods are in short supply,
could fend of the sort of
Ukrainian cannibalism at the height
of the 20th century famine...

         and about the meat being impure...
last time i heard...
   the scenario in England...
clearly stated -
    mad COW disease...
               and you're equally likely
to ingest a tapeworm
   from lamb, as from beef;
oh god... the sleeper tapeworms
in fish?
   even worse, apparently twice
the size of the mammalian exponents!
kenye Oct 2023
Do I sink,
Do I swim—
In dem eyes of Lake Michigan?

I got my hopes up again
Tryna stay afloat
While the world ends
So I’ll build a raft of
empty prescription bottles
And ride it out in the plastic sea

Let it engulf me

Beach hazards statement-
I’m coming alive again
I’m done asking the current to pull me in

I’ll leave the call of the void on read

While The waves are thrashing
At the sea wall

So just pin me up
against the lighthouse

And whisper me
sweet static nothingness

I’m coming
I’m coming
I’m coming alive again

Beach hazards statement-
You make me wanna give a **** and mean it

We woke up on
Subconscious shores
Wind whipping sand in our face

You’re hushing all my little wars
Holding tight in your embrace

Staring into me like
Life imitating art Defines catharsis

you’re the muse in
my mind’s moshpit

You’re the last
punk rock princess

Blowing out the speakers
In another castle

In your old skool vans
And your mc5 shirt
Leopard nuanced
Leather queen

The madness
To the meaning

Let’s get hyper real
In the surreal cerulean

So tell me,
Do I sink do I swim
in those swirling galaxies of Lake Michigan?
Cause I don’t even think about the end
Just an abyss of
Fear and desire conflicting
For the girl of my dreams.
its revolting, my scars are open
can you throw the first stone to smote em'
im the sutre torn apart till the flesh falls off the bone and
don't forget the shady residue that lingers on your teeth
is the secrecy that keeps you secretly like me

. no need for proverbs here
to solve this problem here
im a flow like faucet water
than disappear in smoke and mirrrors
im the product of disease
the problem fostered by my peers
who never had my back
and it bothered me for years
they tried to fix the problem
but it haunted me to tears
i watched my father turn his temper
to a weapon when im near
couple years i started feeling weird
my friend became my fantasy
i startedthinking **** im ******* queer
this isn't really  happening
but instead of facing facts
i feared of what the **** id here
from the ****** hating friends i had
that never seemed to care
so i started fooling with a dog
to make my urges less severe
but the worthlessness emerged
the surface looking perfect,
while  regrett became a constant
it was like walking in a moshpit
watching bodies drop like dog ****
i was doing lots of drugs alone
and nobody here  could stop it
id just go down inside my room
and keep coughing in my coffin
id been lonely all my life what
was another day, no problem
when your haunted


what do you do when you cant breathe
everything seems like a bad dream
the shilouette of memories between the credits and the last scene
turn into photographs you imagine but you  cant see
*** if you ask me, i    just wanted to be happy






life became a story book
and in it i was cautious
not to eat the toxic spores
that made magic mushrooms
feel so awesome
i started selling *** i thought hey cool
i get acknowledged
i had a gf that was freaky
and i was giving non stop ****
she use to be my locket and my
heart would be the lock pick
we did a lot of drugs and ******
but i was fighting with her constant
my jealousy enveloped me compelling me
to drop it
so one day my bro got talking and we ran away to dauphin
ill be honest it wasn't five star it was kinda like the projects
but i just wanted to get my **** inside a **** ******* squa *****
so i musta fathered many children that haven't try to call yet
but **** it next what happened i was at a social dance and
some gangster started scrapping next he asked me something
but i never really answered
so he ran to mike and smashed his jaw like it was ******* soft as plastic
i started into panic *** i wasn't use to scrapping
i went out to the field he disappeared like it was magic
than about this time i realize im going to get my *** kicked
i asked for peace instead im greeted with a right hook landed on my **** chin
i started seeing white like extraterrestrials just landed
i threw my hand so fast he landed on his back after i smacked him
and than it was my time to get my ***** lil *** kicked
i blacked it, time elapsed in a flash of what happened
i tried to stand than ******* ran
before i started collapsing
i took it like a ***** but i wasn't use to that action
i made the trip to the emerge
but felt a mental reaction
in the days that ensued i began cracking my head like a gasket
i wrote a blood stained letter to my friend i thought backstabbed
i began imagining the bad things that happened
my memory was fuzzy like a caterpillars back is
i developed mental illness as fast as you spell dummy backwards
i started hearing this chatter, became mad at their laughter
i was convinced that i had died andwas a new person after
but no matter,
shortly after i was prescribed me some pills
i was now a cog inside the mind of the mentally ill
my dad was distant from me *** i looked ready to ****
but still i was confused, overdue for some answers
instead i found a way to make myself a societal cancer
the noose began to choke in, the hope i had i still mattered
i met a dysfunctional partner, and began falling backwards
we had two kids there after, it compacted the matters
i shattered like glass and returned to my habits
soon me smoking crack was not unusual practice
but im too high to re hash the badshit
so ill let you have this crotch grabbing
impression of Michael Jackson
till i beat it for you ******* billie jean
was an unmatchable actress
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2019
.                         ****** mantis...
  and playing
the heavy-tow
pixel
scrap of a PS1 console...
metal-gear solid...
how much is a **** fetish?
what, with songs
like bunkertor sieben...
me? i enjoy the fringes...
makes me aware of
possessing eyebrow,
before i counter the urban
argument of switching
to zeppelin ****-storming
the whole dictrum....
you can actually
pick out that i'm quiet
"desperate"
       succumbing
to the tongue of "Odin",
i.e.: i've exhauasted the
English, the Latin,
     i'm just teased by
the use of German....
       i was up in arms with
the whole atomic man...
to a point...
where...
  grammar was
infringed...
then i was like...
      nein, niet. nie
plain and ******* simple
no!
    the dead are not worth
any take on reasoning
to concern ourselves with
a conversation...
           there's a recurrence
to succumb to...
a mind hidden beneath
the white tinge...
         i seem to tend to
"forget"...
i know why the British
decided to leave the European
Union...
  eastern-European
migrants...
                   i know the ****
chicken shop will open
as usual...
     my ethnicity became a problem
when they were
the more capitalistic
offenders
    of the pro workforce...
that's how capitalism works:

the more
you're benign efficiency...
the more...
well...
important as many
pakistani immigrants...
do i even look
like i ******* care?

i'm here,
i'm not going anywhere...
so now i'm your welcoming
hands of a
shamima begum
being invited back
into the circus?
this isn't a nation,
it's a circus...
    
but i do remember england,
circa 1997...
    i was deemed illegal
back then...
                i was sent home
packing...
   able enough
to punch a brick wall
from what appears
the jews do, everyday,
meat-heading silent
the hakotel
with a stipend for
a moshpit
                   attempt
                 of analysis...

look at me "talk" my bit...
every time i land
back in Warsaw
i'm hit with a whiff
of nausea from
a the effects of a homogenous
society,
every time i land back
in England,
i also tend to find
a new Norman, normal...
of a society left to be
experienced via
a norm of...
                      first come,
fist served (no, there's no
R in that sentiment)...
    post-colonialism...
i'm left, riddled with the Eire...
and the Picts...
           but there's still
a part of me that says:
enough of the Anglican-Zunge...
let us return to the genesis,
and tame some deutsche...
  i'm a realist in a *******
delusional society...
        it's probably akin
to watching the partition
of the polish-lithuanian
commonwealth...
   the crux-zenith
of the post-colonial nationhood...
back "home"...
i'm not at "home"...
the only people i talk to
are either old,
or retired...
  back in England?
  whatever "England" is
these days?
      me, you, clueless...
      i speak the tongue well enough
to comply to economic migration
of a chamaleon's misnomer
for an ability to adapt...
but? that's just it...
if i adapt,
and i am simultaneously
unable to provide
the prickly thorn assertion
of copper...
but... merely: simili cutis?
     oh... FAIL...
           i worship this tongue like
a deity...
because i found the french
tongue begging...
    diacritical markers:
my idiosyncrasy....
        
  the reason why i'm teasing
lessons in german?
          of the liberal sons...
i came to find the strict
fathers...
                      and i know
that the fathers are the harangue
aloft levitating halos of
a permanence
with an attitude ascribed
       to excessive pride...

such a sight to behold,
though...
               a once framed opulance...
become so riddle-infested
by time,
                 and all manner
of the negation of ease
(dis)
               having no better
origin, other than in...
counter to the semitic strict
obligation of keeping
the phonetic skeleton...
to the letter...
vowel (female) **
  consonant (male) YX...

   allowing its free citizens
the status of ronin...
and the "reinvention"
of the hieroglyphs of the emoji...
:)...
              
       rule number one...
don't think that, just because,
you allowed people to attain
the status of literacy...
they would remain literate
to an orthodox, standard,
and would not deviate...
      disinhibit themselves
into a the use of a degenerate
phonetic encoding "language",
akin to the emoji hieroglyph.

you were wrong,
i wasn't even born
to predate the current problem
with "said", words.
#er
Anvita Aug 2019
When I taste tequila
He says the burn is okay and normal
the caveats of my tongue are pressed with the bitter solace
You don’t know how bad I need you
you are my Irish cream, my guilty pleasure
Dancing with the devil but instead dancing with you but is that the same thing
the moshpit of our own twisted minds and our consciouses are two twisted sweaty bodies
whiskey and red wine and champagne and all that
Why do I write about males
Hot commodity
I will pretend before I admit and admit before I realize
i can hear my pupils dilating
Mateuš Conrad May 2021
at what point that the sense of taste before
subjectively exclusionary
to the point of teasing itself as being
synonymous with objectivity?

beside: taste as subjectively inclusionary
is somehow a: bias
for example in two statements

(a) the Indian-subcontinent cuisine
is superior to the rest of the world...
  
   (b) Baltic "sushi" is superior sushi-sushi...
sushi-proper... Japanese "mushy" - no shy-moo
in sight...

well... question is... what can be objective
about taste...
perfect example... pasta al dente...
no one can argue with that one...
pasta is either just underdone and therefore
perfect or it's overdone and it's
only worth to put in some chemo-tomato
soup canned...

you can also overcook rice...
objectively you cook without salt...
which implies that if you don't cook with salt...
you're not exactly cooking at all:
as i once heard: food without salt isn't food...
it's produce...

it's not subjective to say: under-seasoned...
but still... the statement -
the Indian subcontinent cuisine is superior
to all the rest...
since there would be an argument for
south-east Asian cuisine... Chinese cuisine...
Italian...

there would be but...

(b) raw herring with gherkin, apple and dill
in a creamy sauce on a slice of toasted rye bread
is... well... what's the alternative...
a slice of raw salmon on a cushion of mushy
rice dipped with soya sauce / a green horseradish...

(a) a curry is... in all fairness... a gravy...
a stew...
   yes... but what over gravy / stew has an arsenal
of spices that could match you
to the Soviet stockpile of atomic warheads?
even yesterday as i was recovering from (a propos,
more on that later)

i came about a curry base recipe...
most other recipes involved merely
throwing some Kali dust mindlessly at tinned
tomatoes with the usual suspects
of onion, garlic and ginger...
however many times i did make this
recipe: turns out there's a difference between
a korma and a pasanda
        and since i was defrosting some lamb...

- but that i have a korma powder in my arsenal...
it's never enough to just... use a "swiss army knife"
when cooking...
i can't stress it enough, for the base:
onions, garlic, ginger... carrots... a green pepper,
a red pepper, chopped tomatoes,
say... madras curry powder, cumin, coriander,
turmeric, SMOKED paprika...
and of "course": ground fenugreek!

there's only an exclamation mark
after fenugreek since once i followed a recipe
that said to use seeds...
the first time i used fenugreek... like the first
time you use... Szechuan pepper...
or a black cardamom...

and then obviously... some sugar...
sultanas, ground almonds... coconut milk...
the best ****** sauce i ever tasted:
but there was more to it... you can't just
throw Kali dust at a can of tinned tomatoes...
or restrain yourself to merely onions, garlic, ginger...
what if i were a priest and i'd frown
at garlic? well... that i know:
                 asafoetida (a fennel like the scent
of rotting garlic)...       anyway...

am i being objective or subjective?
          for me the Italians can't just cut it with...
rosemary, oregano, fennel, thyme, marjoram...
plus... the health benefits of turmeric
and ginger?
it's essentially a stew... a gravy...
but no other cooking allows you to play
chemist once more...
  and i sometimes do miss those organic chemistry
experiments at Edinburgh
that could sometimes last for weeks...

subjectively this... objectively: under-seasoned,
not al dente, overcooked, too salty...
too spicy... bland... but there will always be some
h'american comedian who'd say:
burgers and frankfurters make the world
go round...
yeah... and in Russia you have this
pancake fast-food outlet that serve you...
well pancakes... with caviar...
because you can drive a car and eat a hot dog...
apparently...

the Indian-subcontinent cuisine...
give me that... and i can forget the rest of the world...
with one exception: Baltic "sushi"...
that food is ingrained in me like bone
or a croak-and-gargle to a crow...

- but if taste cannot be subjective to be a "respected"
opinion...
then it's back into the robotic, objective:
edible... inedible...
and the minor-objective cues of... al dente...
spicy... salty...
   this whole "superiority" statement...
                                  even though the amount of spices
& the kaleidoscope of nuances
of say: merely fennel...
                          a tulip is not a tulip is a rose
isn't a rose is a blimmin' buttercup...
nonetheless, elsewhere: a tomato is a tomatoe
is toad-matted-o... hiccup...

which brings me to... the toothache...
this close to a second astra-zeneca jab and
i might be on course for a second round of health
tourism...
it's not like i haven't tried...
over a year ago... visiting my local NHS
dentist...

- can i register? i was registered elsewhere
but i neglected that practice
plus i moved from the Ilford vicinity...
no i haven't been to a dentist in over a decade...
but now this 15+ year old filling has come loose
and...
- we are currently not accepting any new
NHS registrations...

well sure, with the pandemic and "pandemic"...
so i called the emergency number
and managed to squeeze in a visit for
a makeshift filling that... if i wouldn't bit into hard
toffee could last me well into 4 months...
apparently...
but when an opportunity arose circa June of last
year i hopped on the chance to travel abroad
to see a dentist...
well... it's been almost a year & that one hiccup
when that tooth hurt again:
why have we lost out intuitively-superstitious
grasp of sensations? it hurt to the bone...
when my grandfather died and... what... nothing?
here it is... at it again...
a year later and i still can't register...
i'm guessing... another year to wait for registration
and then... maybe 5 years to see a dentist proper:
for the root-canal treatment!
or... get that second jab... ******* to Poland
to see a dentist... privately...
well... even if I saw one privately in England
based on the quality of the temporary filling?

well... the filling is still intact...
what came across as a toothache might have actually been
a gum infection...
but since any sort of acute pain first disorientates...
antibiotics all that painkiller sobriety:
mr. zombie dr. sleep...
after the feud with the brain passes...
after your mind has opened up to nonsensical dreams...
the alleviation of acute pain brings back focus...
tooth-tip below the berg of gums...
rat's a labyrinth clearly i don't care much
for the jab to meat-head through a moshpit at some
festival, or turn into a copperneck on some beach
in Greece...

elsewhere: simultaneously... a cacophony from the news
outlets...
when Christine Chubbuck shot herself in the head
because her toe was too small...
and a movie was made about her...
with the end scene of her being strapped
to a hospital bed... because... well...
she didn't use a cockcroach buster of a shotgun...
a Shasha Johnson... and her litany of race-baiting...
it's like that butterfly effect:
one man's toothache is another man's bullet in the head...
or a woman's in this case...
Christine Chubbuck wouldn't die from
that urban myth surrouning headless cockroaches
dying from starvation...

the list though:
      CLINDAMYCIN-mip (clindamycinym) 600 μγ-
the antibiotic...
    codeine phosphate hemihydrate / paracetamol 15 / 500μγ
      CO-CODAMOL...
and since this painkiller is prone to give
you constipation...
   something for your stomach-lining:
    OMEPRAZOLE 20μγ...
    
but of course... a curry would help... to get your
digestion up to speed...
3 days of constipation and a mere thought of an Indian
arsenral of spices... a whiff of them...
charge of the **** brigade!

- and for someone who loves food... chewing more than
yapping with a red-hot poaker of a propaganda juice toong'...
however est. or anti-est.
   one brain-wash less either side of the fence...
but i know which side is a rhetorical cascade
and which side is a mantra machine...
which side is grizzly-arghh and which side is...
boistrously waspish...

but that's not all of it... you'd have to be familiar
with the Marathon Man...
Dustin Hoffman, Laurence Olivier...
   whoever said all nazis were evil?
   Christian Schell...
               well... it's a joke...
EUGENIA CARYOPHYLLUS...
              syzygium aromaticum... if you've seen
the movie... aromatherapy? clove oil?
em... sure thing... yeah... it's primarily aromatic...
sure, the bottle reads: only for external use...
insufficient evidence to suggest analgesic properties...
hello mr. rat... hello mr. chimp...
hello mr. southpaw chubby-jab brigade...

time's for experiments... anyone and everyone to their
scepticism: what works best for you...
chance of me getting root canal treatment...
a drowning man will grab a razor's edge...
a drowning man wilbb grab a razor's edge...
because all medicine is beyond rancid beyond
chalky... i wasn't expecting the clove bud oil
to be... syrupy sweet mind you...
but as someone who wants to return to evenings with
ms. amber whiskers and the basic point
of the mouth and teeth: to ol' chew-chew...

lessons learned... waiting in line -
       to bypass the waiting game with placebo scepticism
of the otherwise effective painkillers and
antibiotics... but as a man who's irresistable
to any sort of agitation & momentum...
the immediately available: whatever proof or lack
of it there is...

in the back of my mind: it's hardly arsenic;
for now it's just me, the tooth and Christian Schell
and a song: 'if i had teeth made from diamonds,
             if i had teeth made from diamonds,
             i'd be on a diet of milkshakes!'
          
p.s.

original title: by
original "work":

bitter sweet
myopic
glutton

    anything to push through Eugenia & Herr Schell.
Mateuš Conrad Apr 2019
isn't writing this, "brand new" ,
  and shiny red button
that flags up, for delay...
   where h.p. sauce
means just that:
houses of parliament
on your full english?
no?
   here's a word play -

                                            dasein "vs."
                                                        sein da...

anti-global rhetoric,
journalistic class
of... whatever you call them...
branded leeches,
propagandists, etc.,

            dasein:
which probably invokes
an english innovative
of: there's being...

                   no **** sherlock!
come again, though...

              being, there...

ah!
that big sigh of "relief"
             last time i checked there
were no objective counter-measures
to cipher the journalistic
bollcoks either "being" or,
to be frank, either "a": "there"...

i might be wrong about
the paella from madrid...
but i'm not from madrid",
or anywhere close to "it"...
am i?

                  if games is all you want...
well, come on over,
play my one...
  i'm as clueless as you are:
i don't know the rules...
let's figure it out between us...
savvy?
tom hanks did the great
job of playing the idiot...
the more i drink,
the more i envision myself
strapped to the comforts
of a seat provided by a dentistry
practitioner...
schmiles all round...

         it's one thing to ****
up the german,
and another to inherit its ****
origins...
  i quiet like the latter...
given the anglican interlude
of ('s) - that possessive article /
multiplier essence...

  of whatever
*diedunkelzungehabenzusagen
...
you want to study
chemistry...
might as well read some deutsche...
2, 4-dinitrophenylhydrazine:
looks pretty much sterile
(i.e. german)...
     now we can begin the surgery...
(the dark tongue had to say)...
woops came the *******
in a bull-strap and boxing technique
practice tangle... ha ha.

i mean it thought:
da-sein...
                      da-       there
sein-        being
           and the minor english revision:
there's being...
                beside the german
    existentialists...
the french ones should get it:
less... concern... presence...
now? borrowed from the 20th
century goliath centurions?
eh...
                 "it's", whatever "it" it is,
is merely "there"...
  but rather: it's there...
whatever copernican sense that makes...

but me, i'm more interested in:
sein-da...
                         the whole journalistic
contra to poetics,
akin to the philosophical
contra to, poetics...
               the whole "being", "there"...
i like that...
i like that a lot...
   i think i'll make that my fetish...
beginning with:
once you forget about
sharpening knifes...
you end up thinking about
the blutness of a hammer
and, subsequently,
the bluntness of the nailhead
                            (nagelkopf)...

well... if heidegger and nietzsche
were all about "philosophißing"
with a hammer...
      might i add: you'll still be required
a nail;
and if i'm not the nail:
they're no more a hammer
than as much as nothing more
than a ******* toothpick;
now hammer this nail in
with a toothpick...
   and all things aside: good luck.

and for all its worth,
philosophy, logic...
blah-blah blah-blah blah-blah-blah-blah...
but philosophy sometimes
deviates from the mundane
ask of logic,
and tickles the presence
of poetics,
after all...
you can't exactly attack
a poet and a rhetorician
of politics simultaneously...

i.e. heidegger's hammer?
it's a metaphor...
describing the possibility
of two construction site
labourers being able
to discuss philosophical topics
while also making their
round of the routine...
    **** me... it's come to this...
asking whether two gym bros
can discuss philosophy
while pumping iron?
the same "menial" task
attached at the chimera hip
of these siamese twins...
           but not really...
          
   the labourers have hope....
gym bros?
                  not exactly...
i personally found more intelligence
in the proper meat-heads...
in a slipknot moshpit
than in these...
            pump-iron-mosher-non-clue;
or whatever the hell
is "trendy" come tomorrow.
Braden Sep 2020
i am in need of comfort and utter care
i carry this world on shoulders that cannot bare
any more

i weep no longer
no more hope for sovereign
a moshpit in my head
i cant even go to bed

i dont want to die
but i dont want to live

a deafening screech fills the void
my soul in torment and you arent help
i think they forgot about me
im alone

ill drop this world and pray for mercy
my shoulders give up, i failed. im sorry
i don't understand why a ******* would call me to cold: stipend: a case for being lonely... the logic that is also the noun and: from: trans-: valuation: the dictatorial contra the democratic ordeal: that's money... peanuts for elephants... rubble coinage for plumbing: ******* for psychology relief... why would a ******* call me and seek: why i ought to pay this anti-logic a serving gratitude... i don't understand why a ******* would ask me to implode on earnings... to: and i told her: but my situation is complicated: soap, anti-opera... just because i dabbled in prostitution from time to time makes me a: ******* ****? are these girls looking for a ****? i don't know: Edie's a Reyla's and i'm just thinking about the day+ agony flight from London to Kauai... and putting a drill to my temple and drilling a hole to get my driving license: i can ******* ride a bicycle and a horse: is you retards car ******* special?!

i could unpack each detail of the Travis Scott
concert
in a rubric: i actually read an Olson poem
to try to find a worthwhile imitation
of depicting with words: in words:
images and clues
but not paintings...

             language is too alive and morphing
and bound to the evolutionary sciences
of biology and psychology
i can't interpret Darwinism in the same
light like this
agony of truth i see before me
unlike the constraints of geometry
and shadow binding to shadow
light to light
and all that is my low growling voice
having been...

             sung too baritone in the choir...
because all the angels in the choir
have *****, testicles,
while i'm the only one with a ****:
but paradoxically without *****:
the ****** Pretender
i can content with Michael over the "wand":

Nubim:
i have a **** for a wand
and i have the cockerel at the zenith of a height
in Kauai to prove
pecking cashew cuts and nuts from my
hand:
oh what a not-surprising quench:
she's no longer taking her daughter to church...

it was a Dostoevsky moment from
Notes of the Underground:
he looked at me funny:
she looked at me funny:
i was not playing poor Oliver
i just asked the *****:
can i have a bottle of water?
she replied: no... what position are
you working on?
outside: we don't give the dogs
of people water!
even if i work for the *** Army directly?
no! nope!
water?
so now i'm going to trade you peanuts
for elephants and call you Hannibal?!
woman! you crazy *** *****

you think i'll work for this *******
treated like a camel jockey
greedy about water?
am i, a *******, Pakistani "uncle"?
UNKLL'
             i'm un-killed...
someone once attempted to take my life
aged 21...

you think i'm asking for alms or for profit
i just ******* asked for water:
you're going to be the centurion
with the wine soaked sponge
greedily offering me the relapse from
the already stated fact of being
crucified
like a pendulum and a clock: detail:
centuries my eternal solo me
duo:
i don't understand reincarnation
in the confines of monotheism:
paradoxical affair...
for that there had to be a literate
writing "Jesus": je suis...

so many THOTS
even the guys at Northumberland
Park station were bragging:
bro: those dudes just went into the moshpit
and the girls were getting cushioned
and they liked it...
so this is chimpanzee sexuality:
this... the mortal narrative of the immortal ape?
ape conjectured and conjured
a man: a lost tale:
but upon reaching man:
the ghosts of apes... the gods: men....
can men go beyond the gods of the apes
with the gods of men:
there are no gods to govern men
there are only men who govern men
and Jesus and Mohammad:
i wish to talk to Moses...
all cut one begin with M...
Mohammad, Moses, Matthew...

              but can man evolve beyond
man if he evolved from ape?
ape found the gods in man
where is man to find the gods:
since he already prescribed himself
with regressing to ape: apologetics
ontology of children...
children will come with ghosts
and demons...
and *****...

         Myslite: oh... i thought i could copy
that letter on whim+will...

you know: i'm actually burning up
thinking about a Taylor Swift
record: Broken Poets Department:
some indie 14 year old girls' *******...

cuckoo or word of an overtly stressing
moment of mother:
but who are you? i am: i ask you...
and you to not think are
who exclaiming all those paranoid sounds

that manic not so manic street preacher
with a placard
talk of the antithesis Christ
as replacement Christ
this anti- this bogus prefix
to no real concern...

i can actually laugh at the American President
when he introduces the President of: THE uKRAINE...
rather than Ukraine:
troubles would have begun if not
placing the sacred Shinto N (ン)
in the construct of the indefinite article of A...
without an ン...
N...

        an hour: a special treatment: of H(atching):
aye not far away: aey: hey so far...
i was thinking about the **** architect of
the Olympic Stadium in Berlin:
WERNER MARCH
MARSCH...

        we get our surnames misspelled like
Hitlers...
Stalin and Elert
******
ooh-hoo... Elert...
no.. it's Eschlert...
but since you ******* are tongue tied
to
but one tongue: crazy catch-up Utopia of
Africa... sorry: but bye bye...

so one manager tells another manager
and a supervisor overhears:
trouble on top
trouble down below:
but i did say:
and then you close your eyes
and there's damage to your nose
and you become clarifying vampire:
i smell *** and ****
i don't have to see them...

lucky me for the walk of shame
feeling somewhat important
walking through:
not Kant: to his grave of oratory masterpiece:
not pulpit:

Kulosevski
and Bussima
or whatever...
i don't care:
but i don't hate:
i just don't care...
Kauai wouldn't be Olson's
Gloucester...
it would be my special Z
snooze: sort of place...

the choir had all the testicles
but god wasn't going
to be the dictator of instruments
the director...
i had the **** but not
the ***** i sort of hid them
in my throat...

i...
                i...
       what's that in numbers:
counting:
as men we conjured so many gods
of wishing each other well
until someone might
conjure
a conjuring of summoning
the effort
and pay due to journalism:
with mythology:
and mythology ends
where physics begins?!

             i have the ****: the choir
have the *****:
oddly enough i have the deepest voice:
angelic choir summoning works
reverse to human reality of
how words are stressed:
the entourage only took me
and one: bothersome:
what VIP treatment?
   jeez: step by step:
it was more entertaining walking
a blind drunk down the steps than
doing this over-sensitivity wording press:
press for pressure...

         then the ***** messaged me:
oh can you come and
see me and spend for this anti-psychiatric
evidence: £120 an hour
love you to loads:
so i started to flick my St. Martin's
and Schumacher presence on this earth as:
VEGETABLE...
i thought about going to the brothel
but then i realized my own language
prowess and then the interruptions
that didn't achieve the schizophrenic
prowess of bi-lingualism....

                 a hawk:
          an hour:
               don't say yes: in between: please..
a hatchet...
           hubris...
                      say the definite
say the indefinite:
but you can say: definitely / indefinitely:
hour, minute, second, day, year, epoch:
existence... per se...

an hour
a door
a room
a humor
'our: ate H

            scoff: just reading the tongue
and the caging of ego
with all the Niqab and printing press
innuendo dynamic: footprint
of feminism and the advent of *******:
women's return to a function:
all prior...
no sorry yes sorry my name
is Lord Brigerton... blah blah: Jane Austen
dictatorial tattoo...

          some two footballers:
Kulusevski and Bissouma:
                 great what's my age again?
am i Plato's age upon his death
do i think to
thank how technology morphs:
how our apparence:

APPARENCE

new word... my word...

     a conglomeration of appearance
and circumstance and
the guiding word: Heidegger's Da-Sein...
i'm motivated by German thinking
in an English environment:
to create a Darwinism-Christianity
will take convincing: me!
bbbcarnam Dec 2020
i hope i'm not a regret

just a face in a moshpit

on your world tour in boston

where it snows too **** often

— The End —