"mmrs" poems
I found them cause of music or YouTube
Some of them I knew who they were
But didn't care about them when I was younger
They're the ones who I say "Top Of The Morning To Ya Laddies" or "Where's The Black Smith" with
Or instead sing Oh Miss Believer or Thnks Fr Th Mmrs with
Most of them I consider my best friends
Some of them are Patrick, Pete, Joe, and Andy
Others are Jimmy, Chris, Chandler, and Karl
They're there for me when any actual people aren't
They're the ones who don't care about the fact that I'm LGBTQ+
They just see me as another human being that's a fan of their music or channel
I try to remind myself about the Fall Out Boy lyric "You Are What You Love Not Who Loves You"
And tell myself that I'll be like Frank Iero and JackSepticEye
Some of them are the reason why I'm going to be a youtuber
I ask myself all the time how in the world did they somehow wind up being someone I consider friends
May 18, 2021
May 18, 2021 at 11:08 PM UTC
A night spent with a fandom family
At a place where you can be yourself
With bands that understand you
Where you can say Thnks Fr Th Mmrs afterwards
For them making you never feel like you're alone
Cause they made it feel like home at the show
That's What Hella Mega Tour Means To Me
Jul 29, 2021
Jul 29, 2021 at 6:05 PM UTC
She smelled like you today...
...It felt like I cheated
Oct 16, 2014
Oct 16, 2014 at 12:30 AM UTC
strange memories
crawling from underneath my skin
they wrap around my broken body
and around every limb
strange memories
creeping inside my head
they're drowning out every emotion
or maybe i'm just dead
strange memories
keeping me away from you
i didn't think you'd stay here
but i'm glad that you wanted to
May 19, 2016
May 19, 2016 at 11:11 PM UTC
the rain falls
as i try to forget it all
the bad memories swarm my mind
like little bees she left behind
all the scars
and all the pain
just wont seem to go away
now again the rain will fall
and now again i forget it all
Aug 26, 2016
Aug 26, 2016 at 12:49 PM UTC
i fell in love with this boy who would paint the
horizon into a stanza, and the moon
into a phrase and he had hazel eyes and
a beautiful smile and i used to count the minutes
until i could see him and feel his warm embrace
you are no longer him
you are no longer him, the boy who wrote me
songs and you rarely write poems anymore and
it's been a while since you've said you loved me
and meant it, and so that i suppose is why i
must let go of you my darling
because i have been craving and loving and
missing someone who i wasn't meant to love,
and in the end i suppose i did only
love you for the words you spoke, the image you
so clearly conveyed, and the memories
that still make me smile to this day
i fell in love with someone who is not you, and i have
spent a long time trying to figure out why i was
so stuck on your love, so attatched to who you were
but then i realized you would never again be
the boy who's poetry i would tattoo on my skin
and who's songs i would scream at the top of my longs
you are no longer him and i am no longer the
carefree, naive innocent girl you fell for either
so i suppose i can forgive you for changing because
i only did the same
forgive me though, because i still dream sometimes
about you and i, and i secretly hope you do too
though perhaps it would be for the best if you didn't
for wilted flowers are better off dead than barely alive
(h.l.)
May 8, 2015
May 8, 2015 at 10:09 PM UTC
i hear a lyric of you in every song
i see you in every restaurant at every table
in every passing car
in every movie theater and grocery store
but you're not really there
not anymore
i've always had a hard time letting go
but i've never experienced something like this
i talk about you like a lost love
i feel you like a gunshot
you weren't a muse
but you were the pain behind every word
you occupy my mind more than i'd like to admit
i miss you when i shouldn't
your smell haunts me along with sad violins
the things we never got to do together
the movie list we never finished
all of the empty promises
broken mugs
ripped pictures
i never got to congratulate you on graduating
or take you to disneyland
you don't know what my new dog looks like
or that i got my first tattoo
i don't really know you anymore
and you don't know me
and i think that makes me more sad than anything
that the person i spent every minute with is someone completely new
i also never got to say thank you
for all of your hugs
the music you showed me
the jokes we had
the times you really did save my life
the times you gave me the reality check i needed
and the times you cleaned my self-inflicted wounds and told me you loved me, you'll never know how much that meant to me
you'd be happy to know i'm two months strong
or would you?
do you even think of me?
i never got to apologize
for the unintentional mean things i said
and the intentional mean things i said
the times i ripped your curtains down
or screamed because i was afraid of losing you
the times i went overboard
all of my unwarranted apologies for feeling inadequate
my jealousy
which have all resulted in losing you
which isn't all my fault
but i'm no innocent bystander
so like i said
i miss you
everything about you
and us
but it all happened for a reason
maybe we were a flame waiting to be blown out
but my love is still there
and even though i won't reach out
and i know you never will either
and the realization that this is the end has set in
i still love you
and miss you
and you'll never fully understand your impact
whether it was good or bad
you were someone that molded me
that changed my course of life
and who knows where i'd be if you hadn't broke my heart
so here's to us
and 2 years of friendship that we never got to celebrate
but God knows i thought about you all day
because i'm sad
and lost
and don't know where to go from here
but i guess this is a start
with my hands typing away
as my heart sinks
and i listen to a playlist that reminds me of nothing but you and our car rides
it's a start
so this isn't goodbye
but a mere remembrance of you
and all of the great things
along with the bad
because maybe if i continue to write to and about the ghost of you
the tears on my pillow will dry faster.
Mar 20, 2018
Mar 20, 2018 at 1:42 AM UTC