As I lay peacefully, listening to hushed whispers,
I hear slight commotion, and few distinct voices
People talking about me, but not to me
They are all there for me, with me, but I don’t exist
I hear again, faint voices, mumbled words
unclear, subdued whimpering, escaping
from strangled, hoarse weary throats
is someone crying, or am I dreaming
no way, I won’t be dreaming ever again!
Who would want to **** a sob, I wonder
as if afraid that I would know
I want to open my eyes, one last time and see for myself
tears are dead giveaways.
but then, I kept them closed for I wanted to rest
overtaken by the exhaustion of days, thousands of them
the sobs would fade away, they often do
but such tranquility is rare for me
and rare presents need to be preserved.
And then, I am lifted, awkwardly but firmly
‘be gentle, be careful’ someone cried
the shoulders carrying me are firm, I could feel them
firm shoulders are blessings sometimes
I would know, I have lent a few myself
I felt like a king, in new clothes, and perfume
being carried majestically, while small crowd followed
let the journey begin, I heard them say
While I lay still, savoring the moment.
One more step and my world leaves me
or, is it that I am leaving the world
it was hard to tell among the crowd
as I was gently carried out.
I stepped out in open, never to return
leaving home with each new step, for a new home
I passed the tree, my favorite tree
I wanted to feel it, one last time
but turned the corner and it was all gone, forever.
I had sudden urge to scream
and stop, and turn and run back home
I tried to open my eyes, but saw no light
no trees, no road, no sun, or sky
my limbs failed me for once, and refused to budge
I lay there, exhausted, anguished, forlorn
I gave in to my fate, forgoing my pride
no sense of direction anymore, no aim, no destination
I was led to somewhere, unfamiliar, unknown
I heard a commotion and I stopped
while I was lowered gently to the ground
my new home is near, I thought
is it spacious, is it clean
does it have a window or two, I wondered
for me to peer out and see the world
but then I realized there is no world for me outside
this is my new world and I don’t need windows
I can just lie down and see my world forever
Then I felt a hand on my face, gentle and tender
I knew the hand more than my own
for, the tiny hands might have grown a bit bigger
but they were in my hands long enough
holding my fingers, or being held on other times
exploring the world with me, dreaming, laughing
the scent is distinct, unchanged with time
the skin still tender, and feel still heavenly
and then, I could not feel the hand anymore.
I was lifted one last time, as I was ushered in my new home
spacious, clean and with plenty of leg room.
the smell of the soil, as strong as ever
while the door above me was shut for ever
I lay there, exhausted, with no feelings, no desires, no love, no dreams
it has been a long way, when I look back
the journey was great, I admit, while it lasted
is this the final destination, or just a milestone
or I have just discovered a whole new world.
This poem happened to me in the night of 11th November, 2018 When I woke up on the 12th, I had this urge of writing it down. I wrote the whole thing in an hour!