******* and your dear old trains,
hard seats and beat staff selling
rip-off chaff on chariots of mass
profits. The **** merchant gazes
through dead eyes and scratched
plastic as he charges up my **** with
an astronomical figure. A smile
on his bosses face as he races
into his office with more bloated
profits is all he can think of as he
sinks my high hopes into an oblivion
of rage. "*******" I tell him as he
flashes his price, 'that's twice what
I've already paid', but "mind your
language" is all he says as if that's
worse than ****** a man half your age.
He can't use his brain independently
from the movement of his masters
strings, he must watch the news
as if he's staring at his personal
kings - what a *****. All I can do now
is accept my fate of a few boring dates
with the telephone and my mates
at East Mids Trains, but that's in the
future and the **** merchant's in the
past, now I speed towards memories
I hope will far outlast that **** behind
the plastic and the ***** to whom his
thoughts are cast. Bring on
The Big Smoke.

We were once mountains
Standing tall, standing proud.
Mountains of great girth and of great pride.
We were once, the top of this world.
Landmarks, conquest, tourist attractions.
We were once as tall as the clouds.
And where safety , for the Eagles home.
We were once.

We were once, great boulders of strength and of size.
We were once great boulders hanging on for life.
We were once in the mids of this world.
Added beauty and charm to the mountains side.
Became steps to help others achieve their  goals, became hidding spots for smaller animals to hid from their prey.
We were once great boulders.
Relatable, reachable and visable.
We were once.

We were once rocks, that have fallen from the highest of peaks.
Rocks that have been broken, slammed, stepped on to help you achieve.
Rocks that made up the lower grounds of a stream.
Planted, stacked and buried
As a bridge for your feet,
To keep you dry.
We were once rocks.
Used as a grip for your boots, to keep you safe.
As a path to guide you, to all that you achieve.
As caverns for the minnow and his family.
As a safe haven from the piranha.
We were once.

We were once dust
The wearing,
the fragile truth.
Looked upon as not a thing.
We were once.
We are once.
Once
We are all dust.
Once,
We are all the beginning.
Once,
We are all,  the foundation.
Once,
We can see, we are all needed
Once,
We can hear, we are all our own strength.
Once we accept,  all for who they are, all of what we can be.
Once,
We see truth and strength
In unity.
All is just as import to building a powerful mountain.
Once,
All this,
Then, this rocks dust can rebuild
His majestics mountain of strength.

wow, this music is loud..
or is it quiet? i feel it in my fingertips,
are my senses just intense?
wow, this **** is loud..
or is it mids? is my ****** tolerance
low? am i high? yeah, ok.
i may not be much of a
poet, but i'm a great **** lover,
or am i? let me show you.
then you can tell me how it feels,
to be loved by somebody.

Constent sound
That's all I hear bickering
They say it's not there
That I'm a white boy ther be nouthing wroung with me
They say all I seek Is atenten
That can't be it since I suffer in silence, cry alone, and to finely stifle the noise, I Speek allowed to them so at less one voice would exit the 9th layer of hell I call my mand
They will never see and I will never Speeking of the voices which drive my imaginations into contplations of zombie ends and thretical debates,  that will shake your minds, hell it cripples mine, the constant debates of there's ******* my mind,  so all I can do is stifle those two words that would not make a lick of a difference, for if I let them slip people will just look at me, and think I'm rebelling "o he's a white boy, he must think our talking is beneath him, he will never know true pain like us minorities"
Ye,ah That's me the majority seeking ******* of minority, causing hell since I never experience it. I am nouthing but an anarkish heaven that sees nouthing but the color of ****, a complete pestmistick
They don't under stand; hell I don't understand my mind ether but to say I'm the majority, is dead wroung, what makes them minority, collor, religion, these I been taught means nouthing and nouthing they are Becuse there thoughts, their harts binds them to all races, not one thought or filling is independent to there race, these groing minority have sunken to the idea that they be the minority but no that is me, the one who can't sit in silence, with out rocking with pain, the words "shut up" forever on my lips dripping with mumbles of zombies and flames as high as buildings with me on top of the talist yelling I'm not insain I'm not insain I'm not insain Until finally I'm lost inside the flames.
And if they knew what hell was in my mind that would be worse, they will try to find the problem with scans and question. Did your dadie **** you? Is your brain ****** up? Why don't you just stop this shirade?  
And when thier questions just lead me screem more at them than at my own head they try to fix me for now I'm a danger so they imprison me for something they coused.
So they put me on psycotic medison , and the voices they continue but easer to with stand. But I'm not me any more I'm different I loss so much but can't grasp what it is. They say I'm a success, and I agree because I want to leave. I don't tell them I still hear voices becuse I don't want them to sedate me agin. I don't tell them I've lost the intelligent young man I was or the insitefull guy that could help people with problems that he him self never had but they would not cair all they want is me to be like them because that all they wish to see.
As soon I'm out of the jail I ditch the mids and I return to my insainity. O how the voices seem to be louder as if they was ****** I locked them up..... But I'm me agin or am I them I just might be them but is that a problem i lie to my famly "yea I'm fine," " yea I took them last night," "I'm happy". They believe me not becuse they do but becuse they want to. They never saw a problem befor yea I was strange but functional but as soon as soon they heard I had a problem they jump on it for it means thay have not failed.
But they have not failed the doctors did they saw a man with a problem that need to be cured when there was only a man who had a problem that he needed to live with a problem that made him better and strange a problem that made him different.
With my problem out in the open I become better at hiding my pain until I get back to my to my apartment where I scream, cry and argue but never in that order. Nabbers never new I was different for I sound proof this place.
And that's how I lived, paying for pills I never used, never confinding in anyone for I feared of going back to jail, and I just knew if I ever got back on thouse meds that that when I get off the voices will drown me and I would not make it a night befor I just decided to end my abnormal life

Words like dagger I got
Melt me if I don't care in winter mids
In the mids of summer beauty
You failed to Smile to the sun

The record skips at the same point each time,
Broken, it spins and no noi-
Noise, static from the speaker that is my heart,
My life seems to be in sha-
Shambles, when it plays, the sound, melodic,
Each note speaks to my very so-
Soul, announcing itself to the world for all to hear,
And yet my life seems incom-
Incomplete, without that sound of the treble,
The sound alongside the und-
Underlying bass, that is defined by emotion,
The mids make up the wo-
Words that harmonize the two together,
But while this record sk-
Skips, they will never play in sync,
The sound of the nee-
Needle jumping reminds me of the present,
And how things will ne-
Never be as good as they once were,
For the record will never re-
Reach its end, until then there is nothi-

It was the sunniest of days, in the mids of July. The year I don't recall. I was a boy then, doing some chores to make extra money. I was good at yard work. Raking, cleaning twigs, cutting down trees etc. I learned how to keep a clean yard from my grandfather, (my papa)he believed in hard work and in being a honest man. He was raised on a farm and worked from sunrise to well past the darkened hour. "A little hard work won't **** ya" was his motto, I sought-after.  The sun was beating hot, without the shield of a single cloud. I took all I could, until I just needed to escape the sun, for just a minute. I ducked off into the near bye woods, where I knew all the trees would protect me. Their branches and leaves all intertwined, created a umbrella that would go on for miles. I found a moss covered rock bigger then me, in a dark damp spot of this forest. Laying my head down, I stared up at all the tree leafs, watching with anticipation for one to fall. I still remember the smell and feel of those woods. The smell of serenity and the feel of unjudging thoughts. "This is how I want to spend my life" I clearly remember saying out loud (to myself.) The woods were dark and cool. Yet calming and real to me. I frequented those woods for days on, through my childhood years up through my teenage years. Something had changed me that one summer day in July. Something had shown me a new light, a much more simple way of life and our expectations.  It was calming, nurturing and protective. It was me, it was my soul,  showing me how to be like you papa. My soul showing me how peaceful life is when we are at peace with ourselves. How everything we do, no matter how trivial at the time, really matters. Like all those times papa and I sat around a fire burning the days tree limbs and debri. Thinking it was just fun, when in reality, it was the best lesson I have ever learned.
The end.

Rhythms and rhymes
descriptions and desires
All embrace and entwined in
Rhytmic motions celebrating
creation




Waiting
When words become inadequate and time
Stood still it could still not be the end
Of my love for you
I’ll wait for you on top of the mountain
I’ll wait for you in the mids of the storm
I’ll Wait for you till all days are full
Maybe then you’ll know what I see in you
Every moment that I wait for you makes me appreciate you More
every moment I wait for you makes me value you more
Every moment that I am away from you causes my love
To mature,
Waiting for drains all my strength
Waiting for you dazels my mind could you show up in time.
That we could be together forever for all to see
Waiting for you
Will it last a love that’s made in heaven
Only when I could be with you we’ll see

What do I do,
If she makes my brain coo,
If her singing calms me,
Breaking through my ADHD,
Her beauty is a sight to see,
Her personality is my heart's key,
I may be only 12,
But into her heart I wish to delve,
And make her feel like a goddess,
About her I can't be modest,
I friendzoned myself...I thought I would fail so I texted can we be friends... she said you don't have to be sorry for liking me.
Do I try again,
With all these cooler kids,
The decision is in mids',
I could say I love her,
There is no girl above her,
Her sweet voice is a lure,
And I am the weird fish,
With her as my wish,
She doesn't judge me,
My heart slows when she will nudge me,
She makes my life have a drive,
And I will compliment her if I am alive,
Her name is cyrille,
I need her for real,
Hug me if you will,
I will only go still,
How I now feel,
Is I need to know,
Will she just be a bro,
I'll be "Ok" if she says no,
But her eyes,
They don't tell me lies,
They are true happy in disguise,
I would tie her shoe ties,
She represents blue skies,
I never liked anyone really,
To be truly honest,
So of her I am fondest,
When she sings,
The stress no longer rings,
Her voice,
I must say isn't just "Noice",
It's the diamond made of crystal,
Pure and nature whistle,
I want to try again,
I might be made fun of by my peers,
Insults in both ears,
She might not just want to be known,
As the girl that made ME not alone,
As she sits on the throne,
...I just sit as that one traffic cone...,
Tell me if I should try,
Or sit alone and cry,
To her I might not fly,
If you don't like my offering,
All ask is...why and what's wrong with me.

So...should I try again?  Please say if I should, and if you know her don't tell her about this...this is personal business.  I don't want to just ask her for a kiss, but if she needs one I can help.  If she needs homework done I can help.  If she needs anything (almost) I can help.

To the one who I hope will stay forever,
And from the one who promises to stay forever.
Thank you anna,
Oka guiding star laga u were there,
And I hope you will always be!

Ekkadnundi start cheyyalo ardam katle anna😅
Firstly you inspired me a lot anna, mi laga kavali ani chala sarlu ankunna inka ankuntunna kuda 😁 so nak tips ivvandi how to become a person like ram sai ani 😄 and i really hope we stay in touch for our whole lives 🫂













Chala chala thank u anna! Mek eroje manchiga hug cheskoni thank u so much Anna ani chepdam ankunna 😅 but konchem ibbandi feel aina kani malli chance dorkademo malli meet avthano leno ani bayamesindi... Chala hesitate chesi inga finally miku oka hug icha 😁 Inka walking kuda veldam ankunna mitho mrng 😁 anddd thank u so much for the books Anna malgudi days aithe pakka aipogodtha 10 days lo complete ga next week mids kabatti. Inka eh 3rd year Vani ni ila chakkaga change chesindi meere! Idi mathram pakka. Thank u anna me valle i got to have a dosti gang asalu. Nak intha mandi friends unnaru ipdu ayyaru ante me valle! You made this me! Thank u so much Anna asalu inka okka year matho unte inkentha bagundedi ani,Manam inka munde kalisi unte inka bagundu kada ani, eh corona asal lekapothe bagundu ani okate thoughts. Entha cheppina entha ikkada type chesina thakkuve anna. Nijanga asal ankoledu intha manchi anna dorkutharu ani, munde evari tho matladanu alantidi ram sai anna dorkikaru ante matala!( nijanga anna) munde chepthunna anna eh 10 days lo meku call osthadi nanundi and nen edustha pakka 😅 so be ready😂
Inkokasari 3rd year starting nundi chadvalani undi anna, malli okasari fest ni experience cheyyalani undi same mecharena22 ni, malli traditional day night temple mundu ala nightout cheyali ani undi kani time is soo fast asalu. Time machine unte bagundu anna😅
Ivala morning ala ayyindi ani mer em feel kakandi 😅 meku chala fans untaru so i can understand 🤑 but chala chepdam ankunna cheppalekapoya ani chinna regret😅kani danni calls lo therchukunta le😁 marchipokandi anna nannu🤧 Love you Anna and I miss u already...



And meku 2 bookmarks ichanu ga dantlo wings daggara chinigi unnadantlo oka chinna message rasanu kani pencil tho rasina so cheppalenu fade avvakunda unda leda ani. But promise me anna you will open it only when you miss me so much ok? Ipde open cheyyakandi. Open it when you truly miss me a lot.
And please dont forget me anna eppudaina nak munde evar ler ekva 😅

A salt lake in my eyes,
Right behind the lids.
Two briny pools,
Corroding my mids.
Rusting my soul,
Oxidising my veins.
Two briny pools,
Over flowing my pains.

the way you look at me
makes me melt
your smile, your eyes
i see a thousand faces
a thousand lifetimes with you
and the rest of this one
eternal with you
the rest of my mids
the rest of my highs
the rest of my days
the rest of my nights
nocturnal with you

i don't mean any animosity
in naivety things seem lost to me
giving me time to learn to be  
the space you hold for only me
as far as i can see
has infinite reciprocity
perpetual curiosity  
effortless generosity

ease the ebbs and flows
of my relentless mental catastrophe
turmoiling inner battle grounds
like the drummer boi you never stop being around
i was ready for you to have left by now
even when i feel like i belong under ground  
you never cease
your ceaseless *** appeal
considering how i might find
my self
as appealing to be
as you find me

Lines being drawn in the sand
When will we ever live to understand
How do you all live without God
As you travel each day in this earthly sod
Can't even cope when
Society Insanity

you have a fight with the soap on a rope
God gave and he takes away
So learn how to behave
Society lives for self to please
They keep spreading their deadly disease
They can't help you cause
They can't even help themselves
Evil mids which plug destruction
Sorcercing there brain washed minds
With tempers of fire
Blown up with full desire
Searching for truth out of a garbage can
Blind leaders of the blind
Soon will fall into a ditch
Living dangerous getting delirious
This much i confess
Society insanity in there own eternity

Crystal clarity at a cacophanous volume
Like decibel demons devouring depression,
Deep sobs drowned by Cranberries...
Yes, I have to let it linger...
Just a little longer.

The rug really tied the room together, did it not?
Its wool surface flays my face
As the smears of tears clear my cheeks
And vault from my visage,
The only human touch I feel now flying,
Cascading carelessly, silent and apathetic,
To smash in this rug, breaking a house broken home...

All lost,
"Like tears in rain,"
Blown away by the cymbal crash
The strumming of strings,
Screaming of someone's sandcastles
Swept away by shoreline showers,
Scraped from the shivers of my spine
Sloped like a summer puddle of slime,
Contorted like circus freaks...
You made a snail of me
No.
A slug (a happy home was my shell)

And now
If I were to curdle my blood
And destroy my lungs
There would be no shockwave
No sudden surrender of shame
Only stories scratched out
Severing slumber from my soul

And in the end,
The stereo is my lover.
Low ends learning my loneliness
Mids melting away my murdered marriage
Highs heaving with my heartbreak

It's good to be here.
No one can hear me shriek.
Not even me.